When I think of heroes, I too think of a $6 rock that some hipster thought looked like Zorro.
We all need a hero, this one just happens to be a $6 paperweight.
I read that as Herpes, not heroes. Nobody needs that.
I read that is heart piece you always need those.
I would have more impressed if they found something like this:
Ummm, like this:
But that doesn’t look like Zorro at all!
Hooray! Surely he will save us all!
Hmmmm, I’m seeing a Lone Rocker going on here!
You just have to get the stone wet to bring out the detail…
it kind of looks like Zorro if he drowned in the ocean and the crabs and fish had been eating his soft tissue for a while.
You can only find rocks like that on Mars.
Nope, that was the Lone Ranger’s Nephew’s horse . . .
All that effort going to NoCal and planting that rock there for someone to find and then the wrong guy gets the credit? The Elephant Man is going to be pissed!
“I am not an animal, I’m a MINERAL!”
Holy shit that’s idiotic.
It was big of him to admit that he didn’t really make this, though.
So Tina Turner was wrong when she told me “we don’t need another hero”?
That bitch lied to me, but it sounded so sweet so I believed her.
But Bob Dylan was right when he encouraged us all to get stones.
Enough! Lay off the teratomas/dermoid cysts! Or are you being sponsored by Marlboro?
Or maybe the Cystine Chapel? They’re looking for some good press..
I wish I could bezoar-iginal!
Effort in the pursuit of personal growth is what it boils down to.
But you need to know wen to stop!
“Wh…Where am I”
“You’re in the hospital. You had a terrible accident, but someone saved you.”
“Who is this hero? I want to thank him in person.”
“It’s this rock right here that looks sort of like Zorro, if you haze your eyes a lot.”
“You kind and wonderful rock! Come here, you….*smoooooch*”
(Scene 2 begins at the altar, with the woman and the rock getting married)
“How did I get here in the first place?”
“A stupid rock rolled off a cliff and bonked you in the head.” *furtively wipes blood off ‘Zoro’ behind his back.”
I am a rock, I must be hiiiiiiiiiiiigh man.
Grateful townsfolk: “Who was that masked man?”
Reasonably observant fellow: “It was obviously Don Diego de la Vega.”
Grateful townsfolk: “How could you tell?”
Reasonably observant fellow: “Well, first that masked man wasn’t really masked. He had large bone deformities on his head, and his right arm and legs were enlarged. All signs of Protues syndrome. And Don Diego de la Vega also has Protues syndrome. In fact, Don Diego de la Vega is the only person in all of Mexico to have Protues. Secondly, you can still see him limping back to his villa. I mean, the man has a major genetic disease. He can barely walk. Look there he is.
While, I am glad that Don Diego de La Vega is on the side of justice. Doesn’t it bother any of you that an entire regiment of soldiers where so easily defeated by a man with such severe deformities that he could barely hold a sword?”
Grateful townfolk: “I guess we will never known who that masked man was.”
That script is so close to reality that it scares me.
I prefer to live in geologic time. Rocks will eventually come to me, so I’m not paying shipping and handling for one.
I catch your continental drift. We should get together for gin and tectonics.
JEEZUS, GET A QUARRY, YOU TWO!
Granite, that was a little forward but you mined your manners! Ore so help me…
Matt’s just jealous he’ll be missing all the horst and graben action, not to mention the subduction zone.
I’m gonna plead igneous on this one.
I never metamorphical character!
That’s just a normal fault.
Gonna take a sedimentary journey…
The original Penguin! Yay.
Cross-file under “Annoying Descriptions.”
I still can’t figure out why you can find a rock pick it up and sell it on a handmde website?? its a joke
“Handtouched” is the new “Handmade”. These “Hand” jobs are getting easier and easier.
Well most things do, with practice.
Who is that first person (not Zorro) in Regretsy Math?
John Merrick, the Elephant Man.
“Antonio had huge reservations about going to Melanie’s plastic surgeon . . . “
if they can charge $6.00 for a rock how much could I charge for the authentic fossils in the back yard?
For the last time, you have a cockroach infestation, not trilobites.
“It is a part of nature but that is not a choice.”
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO BEGS TO DIFFER
“There to protect all his buddies laying along the river bank.” At least he did until this seller removed him. What will all his buddies do now?
“can be used for your enjoyment or any other use you can find for it”. Enjoyment? Other use? Nudge, nudge. Wink wink. Say no more!
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