Where did she find the jaundice for this picture?
I’m stuck on you.
It’s a little collagen-y, and as always, fact is stranger than fiction:
Is this a real person?
Don’t make fun. She had a terrible accident and the doctors had to sew a vagina onto her face.
They had to promote them from labia majora to labia generala.
Do men like this?
Men like me do not.
Plus, how could you drink through a straw with those?
I’m not like Matt but I don’t either.
(I’m somewhat like Matt.)
(I’m Matt’s separated-at-birth clone brother pod-litter-mate, how can I lie?)
This will never be attractive and, as a bonus, they make me reminisce of when my mother used to buy me those candy wax-lips, such then when I look at these I think of them being emasticated then blown into bubbles from my mouth with cries of my mother repeating “Don’t swallow!”
I’ve lived by those words to this very day.
How could that be considered attractive? Yet, the people that have it done to themselves must like it. A quick search in Google for collagen lips will reveal some alternate realities.
BTW, I reall like how the seller’s listing 3.7 miles long. It’s over injected with collagen!
The lip balm industry likes this look.
I’ve known people who talk out their asses, but when did they start moving their nether regions up to their mouth?
Doesn’t that hurt? If a part of my body swells, it is painful. Do lips not have nerve endings?
Come on, she doesn’t look a day over oh-my-god-what-happend-to-your-face.
When Sir Mix-a-Lot said “Put ‘em on the glass.” he meant different body parts and the ideas was you’d take them off the glass eventually.
Baby got front.
That’s Sohpie Monk. Her lips are fairly collagen stuffed, but not as bad as that photo. Thankfully it’s photoshopped.
This one however, is not:
Mommy, the creepy lady scares me.
Cindy has jaundice.
And if your lips are whiter than your teeth, it’s time to invest in some iron pills.
I am entranced by the hedgehog hair. And who paints on cardboard and expects it to last? There is too much acid in cardboard to be archival. Actually there may have been too much acid in the artist when this was painted.
I love how you’re concerned that it WON’T last a long time…
If that’s from 1993 and it was only her “middle period”, you can’t say shellac crap to sell for years to come.
Anyone else now thinking 3-D Spanish hedgehodge Jezus? We can buy a weather balloon for the artist to fly over to make a bold but random statement in both mixed media re-up-storation and unpowered flight.
I like how the seller throws around the term “random cardboard” like that’s a selling point.
The adjective “random” is highly annoying.
You don’t consider “random cardboard” an art medium? And here I though the refrigerator box where I live is an artistic gold mine!
It is. I turned my into a giant mechanical pencil that writes. Now I live in a crappy apartment!
It is a selling point – about .5-3 cents per pound according to this website. http://www.livestrong.com/article/243824-how-to-weigh-cardboard-for-recycling/
My guinea pigs poop on “random” up-cycled “cardboard” and are very happy about it.
” layering the objectives into an understanding of how to further use the different techniques and choose mediums i liked best”
Elmer’s glue, nightcrawlers, and melted 3 Musketeers.
The “artist” should be forced to apologize to that cardboard.
Were the eyes and teeth cut out of a magazine? From a picture of George Michael in 1984?
To purchase would be a Cin.
Cindy Crawford: The Drag Queen Years
I doubt most artists have the balls to go back and dig through their parents’ basements for school art projects and try to sell them with the old ‘my journey of discovery’ or whatever bullcrap line.
But if it works, EVERYBODY STOP THROWING AWAY EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW!
I think Etsy is proving that THAT’S ALREADY HAPPENING!
I have some art leftover from my “Middle-Macaroni” period (age 3-4) that I should sell. It was a statement about the intersection of food and art in our consumer-driven culture.
I have a pencil-holding jar I made for my father that is an orange-juice can covered with construction paper circles and one small image of a Rice-a-Roni box, from a magazine.
Starting bid, anyone?
I’ll give you some macaroni from my collection and a coupon for one free vagina-mouth surgery.
I’ll take the macaroni and give you the Rice-a-Roni, but I maintain a strict upstairs-downstairs distinction between los labios.
I love Los Labios. I have a bunch of their cds, and even saw them in concert once.
Personally, I prefer the Tragically Lip.
Well, all the art I did in school is long gone. But I’ve still got some of my twin sons art from when they were in elementary school. Etsy, here I come!
PS-Most of their art looks better than this, and they were only nine or ten when they made it.
That 2nd sentence sounds so believable, and you sound so sincere, that you scare me. I hope that you only use your powers for good.
I made my dad a macaroni and rice covered coffee can which I then sprayed silver back in second grade. The last time I saw it it was so old half the macaroni had fallen off and it looked like it had leprosy. Etsy here i come!
It looks like she put the real Cindy Crawford in a laminating machine.
Cindy sure was stacked!
And that cardboard was ribbed for her pleasure.
I always thought she was a bit plastic.
From the looks of that, uh, portrait, I’d guess her tongue is coated.
that last paragraph is a doozy. the grammarian in me is amazed… [note Regretsians: that G isn't capitalized.] ;D
I agree. You can’t wax philosophical and misspell things/use incorrect punctuation at the same time.
Maybe this Mayan Apocalypse was meant more in terms of a fiery end to the English language?
2 lait, d@@d!!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
TartFatz talks, of course, like his/her current art is epic. FuartKatz, get over yourself.
The “hair” is a combination of chocolate and butterscotch cake frosting. This piece is from her “Middle-Bett-Crocker” period.
I like to give my frosting hair a good combing each morning, too. And I prefer to sit on a fancy plate at work, instead of in a chair.
Are you telling us you’re quite the dish, Mel?
I thought we were going to talk about Bett(e) Middler’s Midle period there for a second.
I’m prepared to discuss Bette Midler’s midsection. I’m mid-way into a Malcolm in the middle episode right now, but there is a fair to middling chance I’ve already seen it.
Dear gods, I thought this too! Before I read the description I thought it was lifted from Cake Wrecks! I was just aghast at the way the frosting was so horribly abused in the name of portraiture. It was a bit of a let down to realize it was just plain old paint.
I had my middle period last week. I also felt the need to spread glue on random cardboard.
From the thumbnail I thought this was a portrait of Ol’ Gregg. Clicking the link confirmed this.
From her middle period? Oh, good, that must mean we’re getting closer to the end.
This lovely work of art demands, nay screams for, a quote from the great Hunter S. Thomson.
To wit: “It was a full-faced rendering, with teeth like baseballs and eyes like jellied fire.”
Why did Cindy pose wearing a bathrobe and a dead-mouse earring?
I’m more concerned that her lips seemed to be made out of used gum.
Cindy appears to have a lazy eye and horse teeth!
The pretentiousness is strong in this one.
That’s great cuz I like sniffing glue.
Translation: i made this piece of crap years ago when i was 11/homeless/off my medications. i would like to sell it for 175 times what it is worth so that i can pay tuition for my class in grammar where i will learn the rules of capitalization.
This, people, is why reputable colleges started using non-hallucinogenic glue.
Am I the only one who thought it was supposed to be J-Lo?
Wow, I am REALLY looking forward to the next installment of this post to see if the seller “took it well.”
There’s always room for J-Lo.
I am in my second to none period. If I can’t trace the cardboard’s lineage, it is of no use to my genius.
My inner grammar Nazi always gets twitchy when people talk about “choosing artistic mediums”
“Media” = stuff you paint with
“Mediums” = people who claim to talk to the dead, often in exchange for large wads of cash.
My inner grammar Nazi also forgot to provide me with enough full stops for the above post.
“I love this, but I painted it on “random” cardboard and then forgot about it.”
Wow- there are some even more delusional listings on her etsy page. She’s selling one for £15,000.
That’s the worst Elvis portrait I’ve ever seen.
1. Vagina dentata!
2. Middle period? Are you fucking kidding me?
3. I have mixed feelings toward Nixon and Reagan for having closed the bulk of the public institutions. On the one hand, I have a twisted brain and enjoy the humor that inevitably results when the unmedicated attempt to pass for normal. OTOH, I fear they may be reproducing. And voting. Clearly, they populate Etsy as ubiquitously as crabs on an unshaven hooker.
I love how she’s saying “yeah, my early work was shit. But it’s precious to me, so I’m charging 175 pounds for it.”
Also, 1993 is not “vintage”
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