105

Regetsy Stocking Stuffer!

I CAN’T FIND RUDOLPH

105 comments on Regetsy Stocking Stuffer!

  1. Unfortunate Incident
    December 19, 2012 at 11:15 am

    I wish you wouldn’t have scent that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Unfortunate Incident
      December 19, 2012 at 11:20 am

      Wait a minute, are they related to this dress designer? There are dead feet in the Esty store! If not, I see a budding romance in the future. How exciting!!!!!!!

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • GypsyRoseMe
      December 19, 2012 at 11:21 am

      It’s no skin off my nose if you want to return it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • Unfortunate Incident
        December 19, 2012 at 11:23 am

        Who would want to return it. That would be like cutting off your nose, despite your face.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • Zippy
          December 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

          You may or may not know it’s “to spite your face.” Just in case our friends from other countries are using Regretsy to learn English. And they will!

          Thumb up Thumb down +28

          • Matt Johnson
            December 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

            He said it wrong to spite the foreigners.

            Thumb up Thumb down +18

          • melagrana
            December 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

            My hovercraft is full of eels.

            Thumb up Thumb down +31

            • Matt Johnson
              December 19, 2012 at 11:55 am

              I just got a really “boss” record-album that I will soon spin on my hi-fi stereophonic equipment!

              Thumb up Thumb down +10

              • Kitchen Bish
                December 19, 2012 at 11:58 am

                My nipples explode with delight for you!

                Thumb up Thumb down +15

                • Zippy
                  December 19, 2012 at 12:04 pm

                  Avast, varlet. Thou art truly the bee’s knees!

                  Thumb up Thumb down +7

                  • Matt Johnson
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:11 pm

                    My toilet is most gracious with your many wantings of orange-pepper bat cola! Tidings, always!

                    Thumb up Thumb down +12

                • G Val is Quiet Serious
                  December 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm

                  Would you like to go to my place; bouncy bouncy?

                  Thumb up Thumb down +15

                  • Zippy
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:30 pm

                    Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +12

                  • melagrana
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:38 pm

                    Make out with me you will.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +3

                    • lettucego
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:45 pm

                      Drop your panties, Sir William…

                      Thumb up Thumb down +5

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:46 pm

                      All you base are belong to me. Especially third base.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +15

        • cat shit for Christmas
          December 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -3

  2. argusrun
    December 19, 2012 at 11:15 am

    Run, Run, Rudolph… Santa Clause is gunning you down!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • Zippy
      December 19, 2012 at 12:47 pm

      He always hated being a dependent clause.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • melagrana
        December 19, 2012 at 12:54 pm

        It couldn’t be helped. After his surgery he had a semi colon.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Zippy
          December 19, 2012 at 1:07 pm

          He was in a comma for quite a period. It was practically a death sentence.

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • melagrana
            December 19, 2012 at 1:19 pm

            There was a narrow margin for return.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • aliceblue
            December 19, 2012 at 11:43 pm

            There was quite the exclamation when he came out though.

            Thumb up Thumb down 0

        • aliceblue
          December 19, 2012 at 11:45 pm

          Poor guy, I heard that he is still quite uncomfortable. Dr. told him to try using Preposition H.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

  3. melagrana
    December 19, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Ach, it’s snout worth it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • Zippy
      December 19, 2012 at 11:27 am

      No it’s snot.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • melagrana
        December 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

        It could have been made in any olfactory.

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • Zippy
          December 19, 2012 at 11:37 am

          Are they taking odors?

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • Matt Johnson
            December 19, 2012 at 11:44 am

            Use some common scents, guys. It’s a rip-off.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • melagrana
            December 19, 2012 at 11:45 am

            How would you like it scent?

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

            • Zippy
              December 19, 2012 at 12:07 pm

              I’d say Matt got his “scent” remark in just barely before you. You could say he beat you by a n—

              I can’t do it.

              Thumb up Thumb down +19

              • Matt Johnson
                December 19, 2012 at 12:09 pm

                History tells me otherwise, Zippy…

                Thumb up Thumb down +7

                • melagrana
                  December 19, 2012 at 12:13 pm

                  Damn you Matt Johnson and your alacrity!

                  Thumb up Thumb down +7

                  • Zippy
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:31 pm

                    He has no lack of it.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +4

              • melagrana
                December 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

                You and I both know you can.

                Thumb up Thumb down +4

                • Matt Johnson
                  December 19, 2012 at 12:13 pm

                  That was kind of derivative, mel.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +4

                  • melagrana
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:32 pm

                    That’s kind of my specialty, Matt.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +4

                • Zippy
                  December 19, 2012 at 12:18 pm

                  Who nose what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

                  Thumb up Thumb down +6

                  • melagrana
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:33 pm

                    Nostrildamus.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +16

                    • Matt Johnson
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm

                      No nose is good nose.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +6

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:44 pm

                      Unless it’sMel!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +3

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:49 pm

                      DAMMIT! “Unless it’sMel’s.”

                      Thumb up Thumb down +4

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:52 pm

                      “Hello? Can I get a room, please?”

                      Thumb up Thumb down +2

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:59 pm

                      Suite!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  4. thriftstoresess
    December 19, 2012 at 11:17 am

    I don’t think I have the right to nose this exists.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  5. Zippy
    December 19, 2012 at 11:17 am

    If this is cruelty-free, sinus up!

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Matt Johnson
      December 19, 2012 at 11:19 am

      If we all try to buy it, the shop will get some serious customer congestion.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • GypsyRoseMe
        December 19, 2012 at 11:22 am

        It would look better stuffed up.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  6. Matt Johnson
    December 19, 2012 at 11:18 am

    That thing would light the way to my trashcan.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  7. Marla Singers Laundry
    December 19, 2012 at 11:23 am

    “She thinks I’m cuuuuuuuuuuuute!!” *fake nose falls off*

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  8. polarBaroness
    December 19, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Hm.. This makes me wonder if I can sell the squirrel tail that’s been sitting in my yard for months on regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Matt Johnson
      December 19, 2012 at 11:27 am

      If you meant “etsy”, then-

      Short answer: yes.
      Long answer: yyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssss.

      Thumb up Thumb down +29

  9. Matt Johnson
    December 19, 2012 at 11:26 am

    Finally, a COMPLETELY real reindeer nose! I’m so sick of getting noses that are only 40% reindeer with 60% Hedgehog filler.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  10. Zippy
    December 19, 2012 at 11:30 am

    This would have also made a good Channukha gift. “Muzzle Tov!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • melagrana
      December 19, 2012 at 11:35 am

      Nuzzle Tov. *thinks of baby deer, sighs*

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Zippy
        December 19, 2012 at 11:41 am

        It’s nice that you caribout them like that.

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • melagrana
          December 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

          Even out in the rain, dear.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

          • Zippy
            December 19, 2012 at 12:08 pm

            I love people of your elk.

            Thumb up Thumb down +8

            • melagrana
              December 19, 2012 at 12:11 pm

              Ibex you do!

              Thumb up Thumb down +9

              • Matt Johnson
                December 19, 2012 at 12:16 pm

                I gnu he did.

                Thumb up Thumb down +9

                • Zippy
                  December 19, 2012 at 12:21 pm

                  You guys moose not be very busy today.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +7

                  • Matt Johnson
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:33 pm

                    No, we’ve got time to yak.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +9

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:39 pm

                      I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY IT THIS TIME

                      Thumb up Thumb down +2

                  • melagrana
                    December 19, 2012 at 12:34 pm

                    I’m trying to tapir off my time on this site, but it’s hart.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +10

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:39 pm

                      I feel like I’ve been herbivore.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +10

                    • lettucego
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:47 pm

                      I’ve got bisoness to do, but this is more fun.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +7

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:50 pm

                      Gotta ruminate on a response.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +8

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 12:52 pm

                      I have to buffalo spot on this car I’m detailing but it can wait.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +5

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 1:00 pm

                      Pudu that voodoo.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +2

                    • lettucego
                      December 19, 2012 at 1:48 pm

                      Kudu?

                      Thumb up Thumb down +2

                    • Postmenopaws ™
                      December 19, 2012 at 4:14 pm

                      My wit is antalope point right now…

                      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  11. thecreightonberyl
    December 19, 2012 at 11:36 am

    “Forget it, Rudolph. It’s Chinatown!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  12. Zippy
    December 19, 2012 at 11:44 am

    When the red light is on it looks like a scab – eww. Either way, you shouldn’t pick it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • melagrana
      December 19, 2012 at 11:47 am

      But I want to see you like a head in deer lights.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Matt Johnson
      December 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

      I’m such a clotz, I would just drop it anyway.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  13. Holytape
    December 19, 2012 at 11:46 am

    “I do not find this post amusing.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

    • melagrana
      December 19, 2012 at 11:48 am

      *dies from cute swoon*

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • Holytape
        December 19, 2012 at 12:06 pm

        Sorry for causing you cute damage.

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • melagrana
          December 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm

          *gets reincarnated, dies all over again*

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Zippy
        December 19, 2012 at 1:01 pm

        It’s not like you to fawn like that, Mel.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • melagrana
          December 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm

          My defense shields are lowered, and cuteness has established a beachhead.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • Zippy
            December 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm

            I think it snuck in through adore you didn’t close.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Matt Johnson
      December 19, 2012 at 11:57 am

      That’s like a $6.00 nose right there. High quality.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Matt Johnson
        December 19, 2012 at 12:08 pm

        You’re right, Downthumber. I’d pay up to $6.50 for it.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Zippy
          December 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

          I would leave that much just for the tip!

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Matt Johnson
            December 19, 2012 at 12:30 pm

            I like how you build bridges, not tear them down, Zip.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

            • Zippy
              December 19, 2012 at 1:02 pm

              But I hate to make anyone cross.

              Thumb up Thumb down +6

              • melagrana
                December 19, 2012 at 1:06 pm

                That must take its toll on you.

                Thumb up Thumb down +5

                • Zippy
                  December 19, 2012 at 1:10 pm

                  This might be our longest stream ever, you guys!

                  Thumb up Thumb down +3

                  • Matt Johnson
                    December 19, 2012 at 1:17 pm

                    I can’t wait to see how it ends. I might die from the suspension!

                    Thumb up Thumb down +6

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 1:44 pm

                      Another arch comment!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +4

                  • lettucego
                    December 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm

                    Only by a narrows margin, though.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +4

                  • Postmenopaws ™
                    December 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

                    You guys really know how to pylon the punny.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  14. theswope
    December 19, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    This was my first Etsy purchase. Merry Christmas to some unfortunate soul. And– two dollars? Are you kidding me? I’ll buy anything for $2.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Zippy
      December 19, 2012 at 12:53 pm

      Does Trader Joe’s still have “2 Buck Upchuck”?

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • sporkette
      December 19, 2012 at 2:54 pm

      This is what you give children who have been naughty. Coal is just getting too expensive.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  15. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    December 19, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    this all smells rather gamey to me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • AK_Marty
      December 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm

      But, can I change the size of the smell to Elk or Moose?

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  16. aginoz
    December 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    So what is the best advice on how many of these I’ll need for a raindeer nose stew. There is a pot luck dinner to attend next week and we are a competitive bunch of gourmands. This will hands down beat Ann’s rocky mountain oyster sample platter. Last time I checked raindeer were kosher – an added plus for this happy holiday season. Oh, and somewhere in Lapland (no, not the tity bar on Colorado blvd) is a deer running around avoiding “how does he smell” jokes from other raindeer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • lettucego
      December 19, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      Depends. Are reindeer noses the only protein source in the stew or are you combining them with, for example, muskrat glands and/or skunk paws?

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Zippy
        December 19, 2012 at 5:09 pm

        “We’re gonna need a booger pot.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  17. Badger
    December 19, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    So this is what happened to Bambi’s mom? No wonder the poor kind was traumatized.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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