104

WHY

Dr. Phil wouldn’t even want this.

104 comments on WHY

  1. knitibranch
    December 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    But he deserves it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +92

    • Unfortunate Incident
      December 18, 2012 at 5:43 pm

      And I believe he might have something to say about it:

      - – -
      “When you do something that you really think is stupid, bad decision, irresponsible and it just happens and you suffer it then that’s penalty. But if you learn from it it becomes tuition.”

      Dr Phil quotes
      - – -

      Tuition paid! :D

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • Zippy
        December 18, 2012 at 8:33 pm

        I think I just earned a BS?

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • melagrana
          December 18, 2012 at 9:53 pm

          You got Ph(il)D

          Thumb up Thumb down +16

  2. Vagrarian
    December 18, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Oh, only to take a dump on that quack’s face. But even that isn’t worth a grand.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • ohskittles
      December 18, 2012 at 5:42 pm

      Ironic… I was planning to save up a thousand dollars and then promptly place it on bathroom wall across from the toilet. If only to cut down on the amount of houseguests.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  3. megansbeadeddesigns
    December 18, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    It may be ready, but I’m not sure if my wall is.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  4. commiekev
    December 18, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    I would totally buy this… if it was thirty bucks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  5. Danorz
    December 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    on the facebook thumbnail the reflection on his chromedome looks like a pancake so i thought this was another one of dan lacey’s magnifcent works. imagine my disappointment :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  6. Zippy
    December 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    ACTIVATE SPANISH PAINTING RESTORATION GRANNY!

    Thumb up Thumb down +160

    • melagrana
      December 18, 2012 at 5:29 pm

      con fuego!

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

      • Zippy
        December 18, 2012 at 9:06 pm

        y philoles!

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • melagrana
          December 18, 2012 at 9:44 pm

          Y el Tejon de Miel

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • Zippy
            December 18, 2012 at 11:28 pm

            No le importa nada!

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

            • docleather
              December 19, 2012 at 6:46 am

              Aye Chihuahua!

              Thumb up Thumb down +2

              • Zippy
                December 19, 2012 at 9:51 am

                Honey Badger spices his cobra meat with chihuahuas!

                Thumb up Thumb down +4

                • melagrana
                  December 19, 2012 at 10:04 am

                  Honey Badger speaks for me.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +3

  7. Zippy
    December 18, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    He should have made sure his dentures were all the way in before he sat for that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

    • Postmenopaws ™
      December 19, 2012 at 4:24 pm

      All the way in, AND with the front…in the front.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  8. A-bomb-sabio
    December 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm

    It would be much more appealing if it was on black velvet and included several poker playing dogs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +54

  9. GranoblasticMan
    December 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Only a true Philistine would want this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

    • Zippy
      December 18, 2012 at 8:15 pm

      I’ve had my phil of your sass, sir!

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • melagrana
        December 18, 2012 at 9:51 pm

        It’s like a philtime job to keep up with you, Z.

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

        • Zippy
          December 18, 2012 at 11:59 pm

          Only phils rush in.

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

          • Matt Johnson
            December 19, 2012 at 4:40 am

            Man, these puns are awphil.

            Thumb up Thumb down +11

            • docleather
              December 19, 2012 at 6:40 am

              these puns phil me with dread.

              Thumb up Thumb down +6

              • hungry hippo
                December 19, 2012 at 6:54 am

                You’d have to be philthy rich to afford this

                Thumb up Thumb down +8

                • melagrana
                  December 19, 2012 at 8:34 am

                  Or be a philatelist.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +6

                  • Matt Johnson
                    December 19, 2012 at 8:51 am

                    Isn’t he a known philanderer?

                    Thumb up Thumb down +8

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 9:48 am

                      Oh yeah, he likes the phillies.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +5

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 9:53 am

                      And yet there are those who adore him with every philiment of their being!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +6

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 10:01 am

                      I wouldn’t be interested in a phling with him.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +5

                    • Matt Johnson
                      December 19, 2012 at 10:09 am

                      I’ve heard he’s phlaccid anyway.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +9

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

                      I heard he’s just awphil in bed. Very selphilsh.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +6

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

                      Phil me once, shame on you. Phil me twice.. I have a bad philling about this.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +7

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 11:08 am

                      Matt, help!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +4

                    • Matt Johnson
                      December 19, 2012 at 11:14 am

                      His lustphil gaze, the phillings in his teeth, the philtered light reflecting off his phorehead…even with those lustphil qualities, I still want to bring that painting to the landphil.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +12

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 11:22 am

                      Once again, you have phullphilled my highest expectations. Phine work!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +6

                    • alteritysalgorithm
                      December 19, 2012 at 10:38 pm

                      A magnificent phillibuster.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  10. driftwould
    December 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

    Jesus… All I want for Christmas is my three front teeth???

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  11. WotV
    December 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    I’m glad it has a fra,e. Because without it, it would just be more shit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

    • GranoblasticMan
      December 18, 2012 at 6:18 pm

      I don’t know what a fracommae is, but this one is gold!

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  12. craftymccrafter
    December 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    That is 21×17 inches of ugly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • docleather
      December 19, 2012 at 6:42 am

      with a fra,e to go anywhere. great for using as a Halloween prop.. I know this painting would scare the crap out of me if I saw it up close.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  13. Wholeduck
    December 18, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    I’m going to put LED lights in this and turn it into my Christmas wreath.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  14. WhenSnowballsAttack
    December 18, 2012 at 5:40 pm

    Why did he paint Dr. Phil in David Byrne’s suit?

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • Zippy
      December 18, 2012 at 8:19 pm

      There you go, making sense again. I told you to stop.

      Thumb up Thumb down +23

      • Stretch65
        December 18, 2012 at 11:04 pm

        I see what you did there and were are still left with Phil’s Talking Head

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

  15. ohskittles
    December 18, 2012 at 5:44 pm

    For a minute I honestly thought the sig was a bunch of ants crawling down Dr. Phil, which means I’ve either had too much to drink or not enough. Although I can’t blame them… he is probably a FREQUENT picnic-goer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  16. lettucego
    December 18, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    “In a little while, you’ll notice that the Dr. Phil painting has gone missing. If you want it back, you’re going to have to pay me… ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!”

    *cue hysterical laughter*

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Matt Johnson
      December 18, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      …said the worst ransom planner ever.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • SubtleCow
      December 18, 2012 at 7:43 pm

      *cough cough*
      Well don’t you think we should maybe ask for more than One Thousand Dollars. A Thousand dollars isn’t exactly a lot of money these days.

      Potato Jesus alone makes over 9 Billion Dollars a year.

      Really…
      That’s a lot of money

      Okay then

      We Hold this shitty portrait of Doctor Phil ransom for

      100 BILLION DOLLARS!!!

      Duh Duh Duuuuuun

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Zippy
        December 18, 2012 at 8:23 pm

        “Put it on the card, you’ll get miles!”

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • lettucego
        December 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm

        Did I forget to write that in Dr. Evil font?

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • docleather
          December 19, 2012 at 6:43 am

          why can’t I get sharks with frickin’ lazerbeams on their frickin’ head? throw me a frickin’ bone here, People!

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

  17. Lady Elizabeth Birdbite
    December 18, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    View it in a room! Please!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Matt Johnson
      December 18, 2012 at 7:08 pm

      View it at the dump! Please!

      Thumb up Thumb down +26

      • Zippy
        December 18, 2012 at 8:30 pm

        View it while spelunking; along with the Albino Cave Salamander’s other objets d’art – “Carrot Top’s Flaming Pubes” and “Mitt Romney at Play”. People are lining up to not see those.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • alteritysalgorithm
          December 19, 2012 at 10:45 pm

          I’d line up to see Mitt Romney at play – with 47 matches, a teacup, and a dumptruck full of thermite.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • gwendy
      December 18, 2012 at 7:16 pm

      I accidentally downvoted you, and I am so sorry.

      And holy crap, that picture. Is this what the devil checks under his bed for at night?

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  18. BrainofJen
    December 18, 2012 at 6:11 pm

    I want this, but only if it comes with a button I can push to make it say “HEY NOW..”

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  19. LeeLooDallas
    December 18, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    Looking at the shop, this artist’s collection seems pretty limited.
    There’s basically a big empty space, devoid of any charm… and also a landscape.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • Zippy
      December 18, 2012 at 8:43 pm

      Which one did you intend to describe Dr. Phil’s forehead? They both work…

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

  20. GranoblasticMan
    December 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm

    I don’t remember, when does Dr. Phil go wandering through the jungle of Pandora in Avatar?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  21. Mystik Spiral
    December 18, 2012 at 6:34 pm

    Fortunately, I have been trained to re-set a dislocated jaw with my bare hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  22. princess_marie
    December 18, 2012 at 6:35 pm

    Haha, there’s only five things in their Etsy shop, and one of them is this Dr Phil.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  23. muffin top
    December 18, 2012 at 6:48 pm

    I think it’s better looking than the real Dr. Phil.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • muffin top
      December 18, 2012 at 6:54 pm

      But I don’t want either one hanging around.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

  24. Matt Johnson
    December 18, 2012 at 6:59 pm

    On the positive side, she captured his forehead-glare perfectly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  25. thriftstoresess
    December 18, 2012 at 7:14 pm

    My brain can’t comprehend this.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  26. kreecey
    December 18, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    I think this is fabulous!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  27. thecreightonberyl
    December 18, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    Dr. Phil’s upper plate looks a little loose.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  28. Trickster
    December 18, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    I think this is the face Dr. Phil made when he refused to go into therapy after banging one of his patients and therefore lost his licence to practice as a psychologist.

    …or, maybe he just shit himself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  29. Stiflers Mom
    December 18, 2012 at 10:46 pm

    “A shitty painting is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration.” Dr Phil McGraw

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  30. lizzy1
    December 18, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    Dr Phil = Mouth of Sauron. Mind = blown.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  31. tralfaz
    December 19, 2012 at 1:34 am

    Hey! I had 2 Doritos on a piece of plastic wrap right over … never mind. I see where they went.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  32. Mr Snrub
    December 19, 2012 at 2:42 am

    This is obviously one of those optical illusion paintings where if you look at the face, you see Dr Phil, and if you look at the forehead, you see a freaky halloween pumpkin.

    Took me a while before I got it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Mr Snrub
      December 19, 2012 at 2:43 am

      Now I can only look at the pumpkin.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  33. iramency
    December 19, 2012 at 4:47 am

    I think tickets to the show may be cheaper.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  34. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    December 19, 2012 at 5:30 am

    Jeffrey Tambor might pay 1000 dollars for it…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  35. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    December 19, 2012 at 5:33 am

    Also Lemon Bombs posted this on yesterday’s comments because she’s all hopped up on goofballs. She is amazing.:

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • docleather
        December 19, 2012 at 6:44 am

        very very awesome view it in a room, PBCGE. Also quite disturbing.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • Matt Johnson
      December 19, 2012 at 5:41 am

      It’s so nice of you to look out for your drug-addled friend, Princess.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Zippy
        December 19, 2012 at 9:58 am

        Regretsy: the group that hops up together props up together.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Matt Johnson
          December 19, 2012 at 10:11 am

          Regretsy: We get toasted and they get roasted.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • melagrana
            December 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

            Regretsy: we like to fun but still get stuff done.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

            • Matt Johnson
              December 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

              Regretsy: We suck, but they suck more.

              Thumb up Thumb down +10

              • Matt Johnson
                December 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

                Regretsy: Partly funny with a chance of downthumberstorms.

                Thumb up Thumb down +9

                • melagrana
                  December 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

                  Regretsy: Lob a pun; aim to stun.

                  And, uh, miss target often.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +4

                  • Matt Johnson
                    December 19, 2012 at 11:08 am

                    Regretsy: Dope springs eternal.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +4

                    • melagrana
                      December 19, 2012 at 11:10 am

                      Regretsy: bigger than Rhode Island.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +6

                    • Matt Johnson
                      December 19, 2012 at 11:15 am

                      But not as funny.

                      (joke- I’m not that arrogant)

                      Thumb up Thumb down +4

                    • Zippy
                      December 19, 2012 at 11:25 am

                      Regretsy: the way to excellence is lengthy and arduous but we like it long and hard.

                      What?

                      Thumb up Thumb down +4

                    • alteritysalgorithm
                      December 19, 2012 at 10:51 pm

                      Regretsy: Searching Etsy’s roost, but only for the cocks.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  36. Matt Johnson
    December 19, 2012 at 5:49 am

    What’s so rare about this painting is how Dr. Phil is shown relaxing in his Fortress of Solitude, in his ice-crystal living room. It’s a seldom-seen glimpse into the home life of this truly super man.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Zippy
      December 19, 2012 at 9:59 am

      Last Son of Crap-ton

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  37. jesshire
    December 19, 2012 at 7:21 am

    Well, at least she’s a duck person, not one of those rabbit lovers.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  38. Mistletoe
    December 19, 2012 at 9:38 am

    $1000, huh?

    How’s that workin’ for ya?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  39. Mapleleaves
    December 19, 2012 at 8:05 pm

    The artist should take great comfort that this painting is too good to inspire a “Regretsy Math” post. It looks more like Dr. Phil than it does, say, Jeffrey Tambor or Carl Reiner.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • enthean_enigma
      December 26, 2012 at 9:09 pm

      yup, it is at least a pretty good likeness. for whomever would like such a thing.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

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