The Regretsy community actually has a talented and skilled umbrella/parasol restorer (rats, I can’t remember their name). Sometimes vintage frames are worth salvaging. Nothing “charming” about the shredded canopy, though.
His forum name is Decrepit-Telephone, and he worked miracles with a frame that looked as bad as this when he got it. If the frame is still good a new canopy can be made for it.
Is it really irony if nobody else sees the reference? Walk around with this and you may just find your coffee cup full of quarters by the end of the day though
10p a dozen in any English hedge. If this is the new money maker, I’m just going to have my dad hang some out in the garden and let the English weather have a field day.
This will go great with my treasury that includes:
galoshes with soles splitting away
missing-lens sunglasses
SCUBA gear with rusted-through air tanks
perforated radiation suit
They are all cute, little, full of charm, and useless/deadly.
Ehh, I had a high school history teacher who brought out his old radiation suit as a teaching aid when we covered the Cold War. He liked to point out the places where the radiation had eaten holes in the gloves. Not entirely useless…
Again, this is a cleverly designed hipster trap. What hipster out there wouldn’t want a broken umbrella? After all umbrellas that keep one dry are way too mainstream. And bamboo is perfect for hiding a water soluble poison. One broken umbrella + One hipster + One Rain Storm + water-based poison = a better world.
Finally, an umbrella that doesn’t create too much wind-resistance and lets me see through it as I ride my fixie to Whole Foods to buy organic kale with my food stamps. Thanks for nothing, Art History, BA!
Ahh, that umbrella takes me back to my time in Paris….I was walking along the Champs Elysees on a misty night, admiring the Parisian fashions in the store windows and breathing in the aromas of the wonderful French cafes…with a romantic feeling in my heart and a spring in my step, I sauntered down an alleyway when out of nowhere about fifteen assholes in berets beat the living shit out of me with my own umbrella.
That s a pity to see that when you know that there are nice umbrellas shops in Paris. You could have a pretty one for 80$ made in France and it will be very strong under a stirm. And guess what? If it breaks, you can repair it!
Now that I live outside France, I see “French” and Effeil towers everywhere like a brand. It s so ridiculous on a crapy supermarket cookie box.
December 18, 2012 at 11:06 am
And an advertising icon was taken from us far too soon the day somebody poured rock-salt on the poor little Morton’s Salt girl.
December 18, 2012 at 11:19 am
I was thinking of someone else…
December 18, 2012 at 11:25 am
That’s what she gets for being sluggish.
December 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm
she needs more than a spoonful of sugar to make that medicine go down..
December 18, 2012 at 11:07 am
The Regretsy community actually has a talented and skilled umbrella/parasol restorer (rats, I can’t remember their name). Sometimes vintage frames are worth salvaging. Nothing “charming” about the shredded canopy, though.
December 18, 2012 at 11:11 am
His forum name is Decrepit-Telephone, and he worked miracles with a frame that looked as bad as this when he got it. If the frame is still good a new canopy can be made for it.
December 18, 2012 at 11:22 am
Only an Etsy idiot would see this umbrella and not think restoration.
December 18, 2012 at 11:38 am
An Etsy idiot would think it was deliciously ironic to carry a see-through parasol.
I may have accidentally started a trend.
December 18, 2012 at 6:52 pm
Is it really irony if nobody else sees the reference? Walk around with this and you may just find your coffee cup full of quarters by the end of the day though
December 18, 2012 at 11:09 am
10p a dozen in any English hedge. If this is the new money maker, I’m just going to have my dad hang some out in the garden and let the English weather have a field day.
December 18, 2012 at 11:13 am
“would only be large enough to cover our head”
What good would that even do?
December 18, 2012 at 11:17 am
I’m curious about the first person plural. Did it belong to Empress Eugenie?
“It is not sufficient to cover our head, even with the tiara I wear to play tennis.”
December 18, 2012 at 11:29 am
^
most plausible explanation.
December 18, 2012 at 11:33 am
Of course there is the possibility of rather particularly conjoined twins.
December 18, 2012 at 11:15 am
So I guess Paris flea-markets are pretty much just like American flea-markets.
December 18, 2012 at 11:21 am
Mais oui never have to find out.
December 18, 2012 at 11:19 am
This will go great with my treasury that includes:
galoshes with soles splitting away
missing-lens sunglasses
SCUBA gear with rusted-through air tanks
perforated radiation suit
They are all cute, little, full of charm, and useless/deadly.
December 18, 2012 at 9:21 pm
Ehh, I had a high school history teacher who brought out his old radiation suit as a teaching aid when we covered the Cold War. He liked to point out the places where the radiation had eaten holes in the gloves. Not entirely useless…
December 18, 2012 at 11:28 am
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like God’s pee
Falling on my head through the holes above me
December 18, 2012 at 11:30 am
I need an umbrella reduction for the soup I’m making. So this is perfect.
December 18, 2012 at 11:36 am
Why yes, being torn to the point of being useless does give it some charm.
December 18, 2012 at 11:58 am
Like a hymen!
December 18, 2012 at 11:55 am
So this is where Burt Bacharach got his inspiration from.
December 19, 2012 at 3:53 pm
The seller also offers a bed too small for your feet.
December 19, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Come on, five people who got the first reference, work with me!
December 18, 2012 at 11:56 am
Holey Umbrella, Batman!
December 18, 2012 at 11:59 am
I almost got my internet time sucks crossed and demanded a banana for scale.
December 18, 2012 at 12:28 pm
Again, this is a cleverly designed hipster trap. What hipster out there wouldn’t want a broken umbrella? After all umbrellas that keep one dry are way too mainstream. And bamboo is perfect for hiding a water soluble poison. One broken umbrella + One hipster + One Rain Storm + water-based poison = a better world.
December 18, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Finally, an umbrella that doesn’t create too much wind-resistance and lets me see through it as I ride my fixie to Whole Foods to buy organic kale with my food stamps. Thanks for nothing, Art History, BA!
A sad hipster who is sad.
December 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm
And it keeps you brakeless, too!
December 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm
Sad Hipster can never catch a brake.
December 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm
Ahh, that umbrella takes me back to my time in Paris….I was walking along the Champs Elysees on a misty night, admiring the Parisian fashions in the store windows and breathing in the aromas of the wonderful French cafes…with a romantic feeling in my heart and a spring in my step, I sauntered down an alleyway when out of nowhere about fifteen assholes in berets beat the living shit out of me with my own umbrella.
December 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Worst. Mime. Street. Performance. Ever.
December 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm
I was like, “THE BOX ISN’T PROTECTING ME!!! THERE’S NO BOX!! THERE’S NO BOX!!”, but they kept beating me mercilessly anyway.
December 18, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Sacre blow – to the head and body!
December 20, 2012 at 1:48 am
Can’t understand why people are so angry against mimes, when they’re such a limited nuisance. Just close your eyes, and they’re gone.
December 18, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Mime is money.
December 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm
You spelled Frenchmen wrong.
December 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm
“Assholes in berets” is a bit redundant, isn’t it?
December 20, 2012 at 1:43 am
Old peasants and Basque people wear berets.
Assholes, on the other hands, rather wear briefs. Or boxer shorts.
December 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm
I could sell these in Seattle where only “tourists” use umbrellas
I would have to call them Ironic Raindrops or something equally as stupid
Ka CHING!
December 18, 2012 at 2:07 pm
Step 1: Purchase seven-dollar umbrella.
Step 2: Beat a hobo to death with it.
Step 3: PROFIT
December 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Has the “photograph against distressed/barn wood” step become so commonplace we don’t even need to mention it any more? That’s gonna be a time saver!
December 18, 2012 at 10:07 pm
I suspect barn wood is kind of like pressing A+B+Down in Pokemon. You think it helps, but it’s just a very convincing superstition.
December 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm
That s a pity to see that when you know that there are nice umbrellas shops in Paris. You could have a pretty one for 80$ made in France and it will be very strong under a stirm. And guess what? If it breaks, you can repair it!
Now that I live outside France, I see “French” and Effeil towers everywhere like a brand. It s so ridiculous on a crapy supermarket cookie box.
December 19, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Come to America. We have French bread, French doors, French cuffs, French toast, French kisses… and French fries, which are really Belgian.
December 18, 2012 at 7:14 pm
“While Hetty dearly loved her reduced umbrella, having to wash the bird crap out of her hair every day was getting a bit tiring,”
December 18, 2012 at 8:14 pm
http://i.imgur.com/GRe3w.jpg
December 18, 2012 at 8:16 pm
See it in room!
December 18, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Jesus, how did I post this here?
I had dental work and I’m all fucked up on Vicodin.
Sorry.
Time for bed.
December 18, 2012 at 9:03 pm
I saw it and it was good. Sleep well, Bombs.
December 18, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Me, too. Fine work, LB.
December 19, 2012 at 10:48 am
You should probably talk to Phil about this – Vicodin, loss of temporal relationships, wrong threads. I’m sure he could help.
December 18, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Acid rain is a Bitch.
December 20, 2012 at 1:45 am
I’m suspecting this guy went to the wrong place. What he mistook for a flea market was actually a moth market.
Also, an umbrella, even if bought in Paris, is not a “parisol”. It’s still a “parapluie”. (Or rather, in this case, it was.)
December 20, 2012 at 9:56 am
Way too classy for me. I could probably afford a vintage umbrella from somewhere like say….Quebec?