“This is a cute little umbrella!” said no one in the world, ever.
And an advertising icon was taken from us far too soon the day somebody poured rock-salt on the poor little Morton’s Salt girl.
I was thinking of someone else…
That’s what she gets for being sluggish.
she needs more than a spoonful of sugar to make that medicine go down..
The Regretsy community actually has a talented and skilled umbrella/parasol restorer (rats, I can’t remember their name). Sometimes vintage frames are worth salvaging. Nothing “charming” about the shredded canopy, though.
His forum name is Decrepit-Telephone, and he worked miracles with a frame that looked as bad as this when he got it. If the frame is still good a new canopy can be made for it.
Only an Etsy idiot would see this umbrella and not think restoration.
An Etsy idiot would think it was deliciously ironic to carry a see-through parasol.
I may have accidentally started a trend.
Is it really irony if nobody else sees the reference? Walk around with this and you may just find your coffee cup full of quarters by the end of the day though
10p a dozen in any English hedge. If this is the new money maker, I’m just going to have my dad hang some out in the garden and let the English weather have a field day.
“would only be large enough to cover our head”
What good would that even do?
I’m curious about the first person plural. Did it belong to Empress Eugenie?
“It is not sufficient to cover our head, even with the tiara I wear to play tennis.”
most plausible explanation.
Of course there is the possibility of rather particularly conjoined twins.
So I guess Paris flea-markets are pretty much just like American flea-markets.
Mais oui never have to find out.
This will go great with my treasury that includes:
galoshes with soles splitting away
SCUBA gear with rusted-through air tanks
perforated radiation suit
They are all cute, little, full of charm, and useless/deadly.
Ehh, I had a high school history teacher who brought out his old radiation suit as a teaching aid when we covered the Cold War. He liked to point out the places where the radiation had eaten holes in the gloves. Not entirely useless…
Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like God’s pee
Falling on my head through the holes above me
I need an umbrella reduction for the soup I’m making. So this is perfect.
Why yes, being torn to the point of being useless does give it some charm.
Like a hymen!
So this is where Burt Bacharach got his inspiration from.
The seller also offers a bed too small for your feet.
Come on, five people who got the first reference, work with me!
Holey Umbrella, Batman!
I almost got my internet time sucks crossed and demanded a banana for scale.
Again, this is a cleverly designed hipster trap. What hipster out there wouldn’t want a broken umbrella? After all umbrellas that keep one dry are way too mainstream. And bamboo is perfect for hiding a water soluble poison. One broken umbrella + One hipster + One Rain Storm + water-based poison = a better world.
Finally, an umbrella that doesn’t create too much wind-resistance and lets me see through it as I ride my fixie to Whole Foods to buy organic kale with my food stamps. Thanks for nothing, Art History, BA!
A sad hipster who is sad.
And it keeps you brakeless, too!
Sad Hipster can never catch a brake.
Ahh, that umbrella takes me back to my time in Paris….I was walking along the Champs Elysees on a misty night, admiring the Parisian fashions in the store windows and breathing in the aromas of the wonderful French cafes…with a romantic feeling in my heart and a spring in my step, I sauntered down an alleyway when out of nowhere about fifteen assholes in berets beat the living shit out of me with my own umbrella.
Worst. Mime. Street. Performance. Ever.
I was like, “THE BOX ISN’T PROTECTING ME!!! THERE’S NO BOX!! THERE’S NO BOX!!”, but they kept beating me mercilessly anyway.
Sacre blow – to the head and body!
Can’t understand why people are so angry against mimes, when they’re such a limited nuisance. Just close your eyes, and they’re gone.
Mime is money.
You spelled Frenchmen wrong.
“Assholes in berets” is a bit redundant, isn’t it?
Old peasants and Basque people wear berets.
Assholes, on the other hands, rather wear briefs. Or boxer shorts.
I could sell these in Seattle where only “tourists” use umbrellas
I would have to call them Ironic Raindrops or something equally as stupid
Step 1: Purchase seven-dollar umbrella.
Step 2: Beat a hobo to death with it.
Step 3: PROFIT
Has the “photograph against distressed/barn wood” step become so commonplace we don’t even need to mention it any more? That’s gonna be a time saver!
I suspect barn wood is kind of like pressing A+B+Down in Pokemon. You think it helps, but it’s just a very convincing superstition.
That s a pity to see that when you know that there are nice umbrellas shops in Paris. You could have a pretty one for 80$ made in France and it will be very strong under a stirm. And guess what? If it breaks, you can repair it!
Now that I live outside France, I see “French” and Effeil towers everywhere like a brand. It s so ridiculous on a crapy supermarket cookie box.
Come to America. We have French bread, French doors, French cuffs, French toast, French kisses… and French fries, which are really Belgian.
“While Hetty dearly loved her reduced umbrella, having to wash the bird crap out of her hair every day was getting a bit tiring,”
See it in room!
Jesus, how did I post this here?
I had dental work and I’m all fucked up on Vicodin.
Time for bed.
I saw it and it was good. Sleep well, Bombs.
Me, too. Fine work, LB.
You should probably talk to Phil about this – Vicodin, loss of temporal relationships, wrong threads. I’m sure he could help.
Acid rain is a Bitch.
I’m suspecting this guy went to the wrong place. What he mistook for a flea market was actually a moth market.
Also, an umbrella, even if bought in Paris, is not a “parisol”. It’s still a “parapluie”. (Or rather, in this case, it was.)
Way too classy for me. I could probably afford a vintage umbrella from somewhere like say….Quebec?
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