Well, that’s one way to keep the hem up.
Raire, indeed. Crotch ruching is so elegant.
Oh it’s supposed to be like that? I thought her hem got snagged in her chastity belt.
Kind of an anti-camel toe.
But who knows. Maybe she has pants like this…
I don’t even have anything funny to say about this. Way to de-cute a perfectly lovely Gunne Sax dress. Jeez.
I have a small collection of vintage Gunnes myself- and this makes me want to open my closet and caress them gently and tell them everything will be alright.
Do you also tuck them into your undergarments?
I got married in a pretty collared 70′s wedding dress and all I did to it was take off the sleeves. I think tonight I will do an upcycledtaintwarmer
and take it out of the closet for a minute, tell it how beautiful it is.
And then explain to my husband why I’m talking to clothing…
I got married in a Gunne too! The same one my momma wore to get hitched in the 70s. I approve of your style. Let us appreciate the ones we have, and bow our heads for the wrinkled fallen one.
Yes – what every man wants coming down the aisle to him – a dress sucking vajayjay….talk about vacuum suction….
If I were the groom, I’d be scared to let my willie any where near that vag, for fear of suction.
I am willing to risk it.
This is what happens when you let James Dyson do your vaginal reconstruction surgery.
On the plus side, your clit detaches so you can use it easily on the stairs.
It’s important to check which side of the dress you’re working on before you bustle it. Hint: not the front.
Since it is in the front would it be called a tussle?
A mussel – for the clam?
A Gathering of the Clams- for your Scottish- themed wedding
With the traditional song “Awasting Lace” played on the rag pipe.
Och aye, you guys kilt me!
Silly, you can’t put it in the back; people would think you’d caught your skirt in your panties.
I already thought that.
Costuming for the new steampunk version of The Exorcist? Regan will turn now around at the waist instead of the neck.
Er, Miss? Miss? You’ve got your skirt caught in your… oh. Oh, I see.
This just needs another bride, a chesterfield, a potted palm and some loud wallpaper for the Victorian B&B experience.
Perfect for the incontinent bride!
Explains why it’s ivory and not white. Hides the stains.
You think this is bad, just wait for the big moment during the first dance when she farts out a thirty-foot train.
One good sneeze…
I have curtains in my bathroom just like this!
why does she appear to be hanging in the air??
Too much suction creates an airfield below. Actually this is quite ingenious, this seller may have singlehandedly fixed this nation’s dependency on foreign oil!
It’s possible she’s host to the development of a spontaneous black hole.
It’s also possible to read the comments all the way through to avoid repeating what someone else has already posted.
The model appears to be thinking what we are thinking. I can almost hear her saying “Seriously! You’re asking over 200 dollars for the dress you fucked up?”
Static Guard would do wonders for that dress.
There is no way they did this to cover up the vintage wedding night stain.
Or somebody had some “raaaaaiin” on their wedding day. Red rain. Don’t make me euphemise further.
I think it had some kind of stain on it, from the last wedding, and this is the only way to recoup the cost.
Please bitch, on etsy that kind of stain would be a selling point.
So it was the style in Victorian days to wear dresses backwards? Charles Dickens never mentioned anything about this!
all set to ride down the aisle on horseback.
I think I read about this once — something like, “how to show off your vaginal skills while still pretending to be a virgin”.
That, or it was “KEEP THOSE BABIES IN THERE UNTIL YOU SAY I DO”.
Some toilet paper trailing from her shoe is all that’s needed to complete this outfit.
It’s not a good sign when your march down the aisle looks like a walk of shame.
The sheers to her ‘beef curtains’?
She wants nothing in the way for her wedding night.
Stacy London — life before What Not to Wear
“You may now fist the bride…”
This is exactly why you should always look in the mirror before you leave the ladies’ room. Nothing worse than getting your skirt caught in your knickers.
Black hole crotch.
wow, didn’t know women could slurp dresses up in their bajingo like that…
The was a young groom named Tucker
Who married a girl just to fuck her.
When he caught sight of her slips
Said “Those aren’t the lips
I meant when I told you to pucker.”
I think her crabs were acting up again.
Oh yeah. $300 to walk up the aisle looking like half your dress is rammed up your cooch. The flower girl will crack up laughing and the minister will throw a choir robe at you. Great story to tell the grandkids.
No, no, I wanted you to buy some Tucks …
Not shown: the hidden champagne holder.
Well that sounded more redundant than it was supposed to.
It often does, frequently.
Hand-gathering in the front; At least until a robot is made gentle enough to do it for you.
Correction, seller – it *was* a vintage Gunne Sax dress, until you fucked it up. Now it’s just a sack of crap that resembles a vintage dress.
Cunny Sax =/
For the bride who has everything…. in her crotch.
Ready for that slide down the matrimonial banister! (possibly a euphemism)
Instead of kissing the bride, the groom yanks the dress out of the bride’s crotch. It’s a new hipster wedding tradition—you probably haven’t heard about it.
Ruching starts at the neck or the knees and goes South, but not halfway between, silly, unless this is a lesson in upholstery technique.
More disturbing than the crotch – look at her feet! I think she’s floating, hovering, or being suspended by dark magic.
Once again, I’m the victim of the scroll bar. “Well, it doesn’t look that bOH FOR FUCK’S SAKE.”
It’s really captured the “get this damn dress out of the way” moves that women make when they’re wearing a dress and need to get into the driver’s seat of a car, or pick something up off the ground, or wade through water, or pull up pantyhose, or have pre-wedding sex with the a groomsman.
a OR the…your choice.
Wanda never forgot that time at her wedding when she drove the car into the small, silty bay as the beast that resided therein was going down on her while claiming to be searching for the bouquet she dropped in the process adjusting her undergarments. So, don’t invite the Creature of the Black Lagoon to be part of your special day?
I don’t know…he sounds kind of okay in your description.
My mother wore this as her wedding dress back in the 70s. Only she wore the original not-shoved-up-your-mommybasket version. It’s much prettier that way.
Thank you for adding a new word to my vocabulary. I am going to try to use it in a conversation before the day is over!
I don’t know if the vajustle bothers me as much a the fact that she looks like she’s hanging from an invisible noose.
Vajustle! We have a winner.
“Prarie” and “Upcycled” …if you can define either of these “words” I’ll add them to my lexicon…
If it weren’t $300, I would buy it and just take the stupid gathering out. I like the original dress.
Why are “prairie” and “upcycled” in the listing’s tags but not “crotchety”?
Those Kegel exercises are really working.
Daaaamn, girl! You go with those Kegels!
Your shoes, though, they need some work.
It is interesting to click through to her actual listing, then click through her photos of the dress. It actually gives you a visual narrative.
Photo 1: Model says, “Yeah, I meant to do this to the dress. What of it?”
Photo 2: Model says, “Hey, lay off. It doesn’t look all that bad.Geez.”
Photo 3: Model says, “Who you callin’ Vacuum cooter??”
Photo 4: “The back isn’t so bad, right?”
Photo 5: “Oh, yeah, I kinda screwed up the underskirt too. But I’m sure you can’t tell…”
Surrender your mysteries to Zoidberg!
I assume she ran out of hangers so decided to keep this dress in a box.
Wow, how long do you think it will take before somebody snatches it?
I just figured the upcycler was branching out from her previous job of making Roman shades. Caution: pull cord is a strangling danger for small children. And penises. Penii?
“I don’t want to get married. This is all happening way too fast!”
“Oh, you’ll be alright, we’ll get through this. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch.”
“They’re NOT in a bunch! I’m wearing my Hanukkah panty liner but it’s just not helping with my static discharge.”
your hanukkah panty liner must have some wicked static klingons.
I just hope whoever buys this enjoys their wadded bliss.
I think they’ll have bunches of fun.
She’s Vaccupussy from the new James Bond movie.
I don’t think “white” is the best color for this design.
this reminds me of hiking up my dress to pee.
It’s kind of like formal “skorts” or wedding skants.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
The bulge does a good job of hiding the bride’s tuck job. Some gloves for the large hands and a scarf for the Adam’s apple, and you have a full package to offer an underserved market.
Gosh, this was, indeed, a beautiful vintage dress with nice detail work. Why mess with it? Someone would have purchased it as is, I am sure. Now no one will want it for sure.
Doubles as a menstrual pad for those light to heavy days.
I guess a giant arrow hanging around the bride’s neck pointing at her crotch with “COOCH BE HERE!” handpainted on it with red paint would have been tacky…
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