That’s funny. I thought it was the donkey.
O come, O come, Emanuel
And free my G-spot from this lonely hell
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until a nine-inch apple dong appear
Sniff…sniff. The reason for the season always gets me right here…..I mean right there.
Um. I’ll pass.
The Gift of the Magi that keeps on giving!
That’s gift of the VAGi.
The kind of gift that will both pleases and wounds. It leaves you with lasting reminders that are impossible to remove without surgery, just like the holidays.
Gives you all sorts of warm fuzzies doesn’t it?
Oh, Holey Night!
Away In The Minger?
I believe that is “Oh,Oh OOOOhhhh Holey Night?”
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It also resembles a lonely night in a North Korean prison.
But in the morning – kimchi!
Nothing like really sticking in to the Holiday spirit, am I rite?
Now, if it was a whole nativity *set*, I’d be weirded out. This puts a new spin on phrases like ‘religious ecstasy’, that’s for sure…
It may be 9 inches, but it looks like only 3 inches would be, you know, useful.
Seller is right, though. “It has not a small resemblance to a nativity Mary holding baby Jesus.” It has NO resemblance.
The knot resembling the flat top of Jesus’ head really makes it.
That knot looks like some kind of disease. Apple nativity dildo transmitted STDs? Wonder what the hospital would think of THAT explanation.
That knot like like an enormous nipple on Mary’s enormous boob.
It does knot like like either! Well, maybe.
I see Don Knotts – the Mr Furley edition but that might be the alcohol talking
well said. it resembles neither mary holding baby jesus, nor a dildo.
This would be perfect for a for a prank that me and my brother like to do with our mother’s nativity scene. We usually replace the characters with things like action figures and such. This year we were planning on replacing baby Jesus and putting a little mini Cthulhu in the cradle. We would do all sorts of silly things.
If you squint, you can just barely make out the sacrilege.
…dammit. Even a wooden Christdildo isn’t sufficient to get that last fucking post off my mind.
and the 3 wise men followed the wandering star for this?
Turns out it was just a wandering lens flare.
The male historians claim that it was wiseMEN. Who knows, maybe it was really wisewomen and the historians bowdlerized the real it at some point?
For some reason I am now struck with wondering why it’s not called “womenstruation”.
Yeah. Benadryl is winning at the moment. ^x.x^ <– comawoof
Bajingo bell, bajingo bells, bajingo ALL the way
OOOHHHHHHH what fun it is to ride a wood dong night & day.
And Joseph said unto the angel: “Mine prostate desires the warm touch of the apple’s grove.”
I’d buy it and display it on my mantelpiece, and if anybody ever commented on how lovely my modern art nativity set is I would inform them it’s a dildo.
A-a-a-a-waaaAAAAAyyy in a man-man-MANGER! oh God yes! no reeeEEEEEEeeeeest for his ah-ah-head!
Needs more sheep.
and velcro gloves
Do any of the other women here wonder if the crafter has a working knowledge of, well, women?
Are you saying this is yet another “dildon’t”?
I think a lot of women would consider this a dil-don’t.
Beat me to it.
I like that we provided all the options for everyone on how to write that. 1:19 was a teaching moment.
Vibrator does what dildon’t
Had to make that reference…
“The Hobbit” spoiler: Bilbo’s real name is Bilbrator. (thank you, Comedy Central Twitter feed)
I see what you did there Mr Snrub.
You youngsters and your polished applewood Christian dildos! In my day we just used a cross like in “The Exorcist” and by gum, we LIKED it!
The crucifix is in!
This year, give generously to Toys for Twats.
Salad bowl oil or not, I don’t think I’d be sticking wood into a highly acidic fluid soaked area.
Argh. Took me waaaay too long to log in. Kept logging me out and sending me back to the main page every time I hit “log in”.
If my calculations are correct, the rounded end of this thing is over two inches in diametre. The part I’m assuming is “baby Jesus” would be close to four inches wide. It’d be easier to masturbate with a floppy disc.
I only use barnwood dildos.
Which is why my ass looks like a Japanese flag.
Ask for “against the grain”…perhaps there are less splinters than barnwood, butt you’d still get the same ruralness.
better or worse than the sculpy [http://www.regretsy.com/category/self-gratification/page/11/|"long stroker"]? Discuss.
or just “equally as bad, but in a different way”?
well, that didn’t go as planned (damn you, html!)
I was referring to the old regretsy post on this page: http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/13/people-of-balmart-nsfw/
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