If you hit this in just the right spot, Zagnuts fall out.
This reminds me of when we went to that like Health Spa and Alex killed that crazy cat lady and ended up in the Stripey Hole, not long after we tried to institute our controversial New Way(tm).
Who wants milk?
Ah yes my droogies just needs a good tolchok on the old Gulliver.
Come and get one in the yarbles, if you’ve GOT any Yarbles!
No time for the old in-out Love, just came to read the meter!
Real horroshow my malenky bratties.
Casa di pollo loco!
Stupid phone! That was supposed to be down further. Technology + alcohol + me is not a good combo
“A Clockwork Naranja” by Antonio Burgesses, film by Estanley Cubriquio.
I think it looks more like a goose head.
A sad, sighing goose head.
I love this. I want to have it for my husband’s vasectomy party.
If you use the real thing and hit it *just right*, you probabwon’t have to pay for the vasectomy!
I always say I wasn’t broke, but she got me fixed anyway.
Buy why buy something off-the-shelf. Say, “I care!” by making one yourself.
Hmmmm, just wondering aloud…would men be sexist/chauvnistic if the did the same thing with a bajingo piñata? Why does life have to be so complex?
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You can buy a Dora the Explorer piñata. Hang the Latina girl from the ceiling and swat her with a stick. Or be really politically correct and do it outside from a tree branch.
It’s so….lumpy. eew.
It takes all kinds.
Is it Chlamydia that makes the head look like that? I’m not really up on my STD symptoms, so I don’t really know. Either way, I’m pretty sure that hitting a dick isn’t good for it.
I think there are places where people spend big money to have their dicks hit, no?
Ohhh…..Dios mio…no me gusta bat de beisbol en las naranjas…
Señor Johnson, Isn’t that ‘huevos?’ If yours are naranjas, you might want to get them checked out. You might have liver damage.
Always made me uncomfortable ordering huevos rancheros at IHOP.
I just like doing budget Spanish. I think it sounds funny to get a “baseball bat in the oranges”.
I love making nonsensical Spanish sentences like “Te gusta chuletos de cerda en la biblioteca?”, which of course means “Do you like pork chops in the library?”
¡Cuidado – hay llamas!
I would be willing to pay a little more for an uninfected pinata. I mean seriously who wants goo on their candy
Sure it is, penicillin flies out of this version! Free meds for all
ARRIBA!!! AY-YI-YI-YI!!! *blam*blam*blam* (gunshots straight up in the air)
we’ve cum to a sad pass when a penis looks more like a finger
How about a uterus pinata that is unbreakable unless you give a good whack in a certain vertical slit with the penis stick so it splits open and candy falls out? Think of how instructive that would be at a Quinceanera! Unless this is seen as advocating violence against ueteruses?
Why would anyone want to beat the Elephant Man’s penis with a big stick? Hasn’t he suffered enough?
In a series of unfortunate events, Marcus who recently contracted elephantiasis while helping orphaned children in Myanmar, accidentally walked into the Olsen Bachelorette party at the exact wrong time…..
I wish I could give this to my ex. The gift card would read:
“THIS is what your pubes should look like. If your mess “down there” didn’t completely hide Mr. Winky, MAYBE…blah blah blah.”
The “blah blah blah” really sells it for me. That’s born of true passion.
I ran out of excuses at work. I blamed the “carpet burn on my face” to roseacea.
You could’ve told them it was a new facial “scrotal-scrub” that’s really popular in Argentina. They would’ve thought you were exotic. Or stupid. Either way, it would’ve put the conversation to rest.
He is a billion years older than me. I don’t need to defend myself against his hairy balls!
I want a 20-year-old, like the pinata.
MAMA WANTS PINATA BALLS!! Oops…pinata “ball” (singular).
So you want Pool Boy Pinata Penis? I can’t help you there- I’m 39. Too old for Pool Boy status.
You should put out a craigslist ad saying “MAMA WANTS PINATA BALLS!!”. I bet you’d get a lot of interesting responses.
You’re only 39? You probably DO have a scrote that gives butterfly-kisses like the pinata!
I’m old-school. Guys of my decade had pubes akin to poison ivy. I remember a day my ex scrounged around for the ONE pube he was particularly proud of. It was like 5″ long.
Holy shit that’s gross. Yeah, I guess in comparison, mine “gives butterfly kisses”.
So I’m still young enough for “pool-boy” status? I thought I would have to be like 24.
It would be worse if I told you I am 94 and interested in your butterfly kissing scrotum…scrote!
p.s.- I never, never ever want to “scrounge around” for a pube.
So sorry I went there.
I’m from a day where girls had to pull pubes out from everywhere.
Seeing such manicured pubes is a breath of fresh air!
I’ll give them points for very well styled scrotum hair, although it looks like there’s only one ball.
If someone was going to be swinging a stick at my junk I think I would be of the “fewer is better” mindset.
Those pubes are impeccable.
Like a hundred little spit-curls.
That peenata is horrifyingly misshapen. The pubes are hilarious, though.
If you’re going to go that wacky with a dick-pinata, wouldn’t you add a smiling cartoon face with a cigar in its mouth and a sombrero on its head? It seems like a no-brainer to me.
Looks like the pubs match the carpet.
“Looks like the PUBES match the carpet”.
I had to fix it for you because when spelled correctly, it’s a good joke. I hate to see good jokes go down over spelling errors.
“Carport” This activity should really be done outside.
There are so many things on Regretsy that look like penises accidently, but one of our few intentional penises fails completely? That’s ironic.
I don’t want to know if this has a creamy center. NOT AT ALL
Seems more suitable for a divorce party than a bachelorette party.
Cum on, quit dicking around here!
Just the thing for those who want to have a beating-on/off relationship with dicks.
I want the uncircumcised version, you can fit just a liiiiiitttle bit more candy in it.
“Wang bang, thank you, gang.”
“Bang bong, kill that dong.”
“Whack sack, get the ice pack.”
Repent, the end is nigh je dis.
Apologies, link with correct subtitles here:
“Hollow and ready to be filled with goodies.” – STORY OF MY LIFE!
I laugh-cried! You have a rich, creamy center and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise!
Awww, that’s so sweet. You’re too good to me, Zippy.
So, the best way to spend the night before your wedding to the man of your dreams (and his penis) is to beat another penis to death?
Look bookmole, if you’ve got a better way, I’m all ears, but for now it’s all we’ve got.
It’s a dong beat dong world.
The first thing I noticed, after the horrible penis misshape is that there’s no indication of scale. Size, that is. Is that a pincushion it’s on, or a jumbo floor cushion? Would it need a baseball bat or could one wallop it with a soup ladle?
It may be the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Because women who hate their boyfriends name his penis things like “Hubert” and “Humphrey.”
(College roommate’s girlfriend named his “Gilbert.” She’s had three other husbands since then.)
A little Duct Tape will fix it.
It looks like an enema bulb and a lipstick had a baby. And drew curlicues on it. Of course, I’m floating in a prescription cough medicine cloud, so I may be mistaken.
I’m guessing the bulging part contains assorted cheeses.
I’d hit that.
Poor Dick is tired, resting his head on a pillow.
Does anyone else see a duck’s head in this, with its bill pointing to the left and taxidermy gone horribly wrong at bottom right? (a) I thought the technical term was “choking the chicken” and not “taxidermying the duck”, and (b) this is one hell of an improvement over the black severed “wet specimen” duck’s head the other day.
Awww… adorable! Looks like Rudolph and a cute little platypus had a baby!
I’m torn between my love of penises and my love of penises. Since I love penises, a penis pinata could be awesome… but since I love penises, I don’t want to hit them with a stick
Oh, come now. All of us penis-lovers have that one special penis we really would have liked to hit with a stick. If only we had taken that chance. Sigh.
Yep. and here is the family holiday photo
Oh dear. Some things should just never be created…this is one of them
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