What the hell are you feeding, a sea lion?
Octomom feeding an octopus
Vegan-wise, she might actually be lacto-octomom.
So you’re incephaloble. Me too. Or so I’m told.
As long as neither of you mollusk them, that’s OK.
Stop squidding around!
Everybody just needs to clam down!
May I muscle my way into this thread as well?
Come on in. We’re not shellfish.
A bit crabby at times…
You should buy one just for the halibut.
Do not – under any circumstances – confuse your Milktent with your red tent!
Things just got two in tents.
Touch my minky. Touch it!
Liebe meine Apschminki!
For when a burqa just isn’t enough
It is really just a tasteful nursing cover-up for dancing ballerinas like this one:
This must be the “blow job” tent?
Off topic, but what is going on with that guy’s right foot?
oh dear. you are correct ill. He is in the middle of the drunk walk?
Worried about modesty when not wearing pants. Mmkay.
I think they call it “Upper-Modesty”.
I thought the term was “shirt cocker”, but perhaps it’s gender specific?
I think she ran out of Minky while constructing the Big Top for Baby Dumbo. None left for the bottom.
I’ll admit that I know next to nothing about the fine fabric choices offered at the Dollar Store, but what the hell is “Minky”?
Weasels are pretty minky. Or are minks weaselly?
I’m actually serious. Does anyone know what “Minky” is? It can’t refer to fur (either real or fake), can it? I see no fur-looking material there at all.
It’s a soft, usually fuzzy fabric that feels like mink. I used to use it for the back of quilts because it really does feel wonderful.
Is this why sometimes a hard, cylindrical thing is called “woody”?
I thought he worked in a bar.
MInky is the rolls-royce of plushie fabric. It’s dimensionally stable, has non-crush pile, doesn’t fray and is very strokable! (I love minky. but not in a Freaky way)
Are you sure? “Very strokable” sounded pretty freaky. I guess it all depends on where your “freak-threshold” is.
I think Plushie Rolls-Royce Fondling is yet another thing covered under Rule 34.
Depends what or whom you’re stroking it with. (…So… soft…)
What exactly are YOU stroking it with, lizzy1? Inquiring minds want to know. Well, mostly me.
I also want to know about the Kinky Minky Pinky (winky winky)
In the UK, Minky is a company that makes cleaning stuff. The first thing that comes to mind is scouring pads. I don’t want clothes made out of scouring pads.
Shit, once you’ve had a baby modesty should be non-existent, especially if you deliver at a teaching hospital. _Everybody_ trots through to watch the show.
Maybe some thoughtful, generous person should start a “Practice Birthing Center” where women of child-bearing years who aren’t pregnant yet can have everybody come look at their bidness, just so they can get used to it. *runs over to Kickstarter.com*
Zip, are you trying to tell us that you’re going into the Snizz Biz? It’s a pretty saturated market- I wish you well, good sir.
Are you kidding? It’s taking off!
And do they call it the Sniz Biz because nobody can take the time anymore to say Squack Racket? What have we become?
Kids today are so bush-league, you know?
You could start one in Beaver Falls.
I always thought we could prevent teenage pregnancy by making a calendar of our stretched out, stretch marked, saggy, scarred bellies.
My youngest was a preemie and in the NICU for several weeks. They would give pregnant teenaged girls tours through the NICU since so many teens give birth prematurely.
I thought the time to give that tour was before they caught pregnant, but what do I know?
In all seriousness, that calendar idea is frakin’ BRILLIANT! Seriously!
Genetic predisposition to stretch marks + two pregnancy (one with twins) + emergency c-section = bloody mess
I’m there with you. The worst burn: when my daughter, who was born at 9 1/2 pounds caught sight of my tummy over my jeans at the age if three and put a blanket over it. I disown you!
Age “of” three. Where is my coffee?
BTDT – my ob had 3 students shadowing him. Through labor, delivery, and then through the kidney infection I had 3 days later. Delightful.
You gotta keep the team together in case a 4-man bobsled race breaks out unexpectedly.
It really was like watching a mama duck and her ducklings…..walking along in a string….lol.
Heh. I was carrying twins and went in for my monthly ultrasound. It happened to be “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” and the OB asked if I minded his daughter and her friend watching — no problem!
The girls were horrified both by the size of my belly and the fact that my bellybutton wasn’t an innie or an outie — it was pretty much gone.
“See, Stacey, when a Mommy and a suitable partner love each other very much, Mommy endures nine months of hormonal swings, puking at the smell of the wrong foods, back aches, and having to pee every fifteen microseconds due to her bladder having about as much room in her tummy as a grain of rice … all so when the baby starts to crown, she can beg for an episiotomy or death, whichever is faster. Now go dream about your date with Justin Bieber.”
That’s awesome. Did either of them mention cocoa butter to you? I almost punched a bitch for saying those two words to me when she saw my belly.
No — they were too emotionally scarred.
But I do both evilly chuckle and cringe when women swear they can avoid stretch marks by copious use of cocoa butter or any other magic elixer. Like morning sickness (which I didn’t get), it’s genetics — if your mother and/or sisters get stretch marks, so will you.
Or your father’s mom. That’s where my buggers came from. Hell, I had them at 13 weeks….well, to be fair, I had some before I was even 19 or pregnant or fat…..stupid boobs…
My oversized chest zeppelins started coming in at the tender age of 10. I didn’t have my first period until 16, and the boobs didn’t stop growing until I was in my mid 20s. Then I gained a cup breastfeeding. Final score: F.
I’ve been trying to donate them to needy A-cups, but no takers so far.
Thank heaven I gave up modesty lying naked in front of god and everybody, covered in most of the major bodily fluids for a good 15 minutes before someone remembered there was a recently pregnant woman in the room.
By the time I delivered my daughter, everybody but the janitor had been up in my yin-yang. And even he may have snuck in there at some point when I was distracted by attempting to stand up in the stirrups.
Her upper half is introverted while her bottom half is extroverted.
If my kink was the whole adult baby thing I’d be pitching a milk tent right now!
It is, it’s a Baby Burqua.
“Modest Moms Model Minky Milktents, While Modess Manages Menstrual Mishaps in their Modest Short-Shorts.”
That was mmm, mmm good!
Mmmmmmmmmm – “M”
Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm mm. –Crash Test Dummies
When I first heard that song, I thought the DJ’s record player was on the wrong speed. Then I realized it was a cd, and got bummed immediately.
Verily was it said: “Cast not thy Canadian novelty single before the US radio audience, for they will turn again and ignore thy subsequent output.”
Didn’t they have a second hit? It sounds improbable, I know, but I think they did.
One of them is a huge hit on “Mythbusters”.
I think it’s because everyone loves Kari’s super-deep voice.
I’ll grant you that, but I’maharafied at your tendency to vote Tory.
I’m actually Adamant about it.
I figured you for a goody two-shoes.
I admire Kari’s deep “voice” too but I’m a heiny man as well.
I’m convinced they gave the song that title just so they could hear Casey Kasem pronounce it.
Alliteration: Always Awesome.
It’s probably OK to take the baby out of the carseat before breastfeeding. Unless you are doing EXTREME BREASTFEEDING!!!! “Flow With The Go!”
I, for one, just pull my boob out. Why, when I could spend $60 to look like I’m sewn into drapes from my grandma’s house? I do not know.
She looks like she poked her head out of a giant Bean Bag.
They TRIED to make her wear a bean bag.
She said no, no, no.
Yes I lactated
Until the babe was sated
It was flow, flow, flow.
I’m sure there’s nothing worse than sticking out in a crowd while you’re breastfeeding, and this thing really helps you blend well in any social situation*.
*Situations include: Halloween, apple-picking contests, Amish butter-churning festivals and shoplifting excursions.
Now I really want to see her pull a pineapple out of this thing.
Like the lady in the tent dress in the Nutcracker… the children just come pouring out of it!!
Or like a clown car…
I picture her getting stopped at the Mexican border, and the border patrol discovering like 15 stowaways under that thing.
Look out! It’s “La Leche League!”
“Okay. I’ll level with you, Officer. I have fifteen boobs.”
“If you look the other way on this one, I’ll let you see eight of them.”
You’d HAVE to look the other way to see eight of them.
now i hear creepy clown music dancing in my brain.
“Ma’am, we’re going to have to ask you to leave the restaurant. Our dress code, while fairly relaxed, does not permit the wearing of ‘kiddie-pools’ while dining.”
This has mutli-purpose written all over it. Not only can you breast feed your pet baby pygmy hippo in privacy, it also comes in useful if you want to go out in public if you have a parasitic twin attached to your side.
that’s great- but my vestigial twin is breast feeding at the moment. Suggestions?
This is perverted
MY MILK-TENT brings all the boys to the yard. Cuz my tent is bigger than yours!!!!!!
Damn right, it’s bigger than mine.
I could nurse you, but you’ll have to shave.
This gives the term “Donald Ducking” a whole new meaning.
Donald Ducking is when one is promenading (hopefully) around the house in a shirt and no pants. This phenomenon is usually practiced when the pair of pants you want to wear that day are still in the dryer.
Also, this comes in useful, when your are running from the Russia mob, and you have to hide in a sweat-shop bean-bag factory…. There are just so many uses for this.
You could nurse Cee-Lo Greene under that thing and no one would know.
Cee-Lo would know know.
It looks like one of those “party-pictures” of someone who got totally wasted and collided with a baby-carriage while attempting some idiotic feat. The next picture in the series would feature her face scrawled with various words like “douche” or “cock”, written on her after she passed out.
The dumbest things people do are usually preceded by the words, “Hey guys! Watch this!”
That’s only for guys. For the gals I believe the words are “He seem all right.”
Well, the seller did name it a Milktent ™. And sure ‘nuf, it’s a tent.
I think I saw a mohel perform under a big tent like that at “Circumcision Du Soleil”
I’m starting to question your choice in event-attendance, Zip…
Oh, yeah, that guy. The rabbi who only performs your bris in Vegas, while simultaneously dealing at the blackjack tables, accompanied by a couple of cantors and showgirls. The casino got tired of his act and wanted to fire him, but they found that it’s not all that easy to shuffle off this chordal mohel.
Oi! You should be called “Mitzvah Bell”, you should. What with the jokes and all.
I laughed so hard I plotzed, with all the punning and the joking over here.
You guys set a high bar, so it’s a mitzvah I can sometimes keep up. What with my cut-rate dick jokes and all ….
They didn’t have to pay him, he only took tips
thanks everyone I’ll be here all week!
If you don’t inject some showmanship into cutting the end of baby’s dick off, pretty soon nobody’s going to want to do it anymore.
Doesn’t he strap the baby to a spinning wheel and throw knives at it blindfolded until the foreskin is cut off? He puts on an amazing show, for sure.
The ol’ “Weal of Fortune” act!
He also does a pretty convincing “Foreskin Teller” act where he predicts how much money the boy will receive at his bar mitzvah.
Then he waves a wand, yells “Chutzpah!” and pulls a hat out of a rabbi!
“Chutzpah!” at a bris? More like “Putz! Hah!”
Hey, a free ticket is a free ticket!
It looks like an action-shot of a brutal ferret fight going on in her shirt.
Ferrets are also minky!
Oh, and off this tent subject, my mom was in Chagrin Falls… her car broke down there and had to get a new head gasket… wish your dad was a car mechanic! He isn’t is he? I should have asked before!!!
You know, if you consider the cost of hiring a parachute expert to help you fold that damn thing, a breast pump is starting to look pretty cheap.
But then you’d look so stupid, using it….oh wait…
Clearly, you guys are not familiar with reverse re-attachment parenting.
If that had been an animated gif I think I would have expressed something.
“But Violet, Mr. Wonka told you NOT to eat the blueberry!”
I could see this being for Chesty Morgan, should she have ever breast-fed…
This is clearly not a milktent, it is a lactation yurt!
(picture included for those unfamiliar with Mongolian tribal dwellings)
Yurts produce some of the best milk products. I personally love “Yurt Yogurt”.
Good for movies, too. “The Yurt Locker” deserved that Oscar!
Wasn’t “Yurt Reynolds” in that one?
He was in “For Yurt Eyes Only” That’s the one where Bond’s love interest was “Yak Hunt”.
Great flick. I love the theme music, composed by “Yurt Bacharach”.
He also wrote “Yurt Too Good To Be True”.
I prefer “Yurt Having My Baby”
Don’t forget “you always yurt the one you love.”
“Yurt So Vain”
Yurty Deeds done Yurt cheap!
That was just what i was thinking too!!! HA!! Love it!
These are truly “The Best Yurts of Our Lives.”
“Yurts So Good”
I liked her Khan-do attitude.
You Gobi, girl!
Hey, what’s for desert?
I horde it’s going to be genghisbread cookies.
Mmm, I’m so hungry I could slaughter a kubla dozen of those.
I like your Xanadu attitude.
Great Walls of Fire!!!
Is she nekkid cept for the tent?
Or you can shoplift Watermelons.
Does this Minky Milktent make me look fat? Or ludicrous?
What happened to just putting a blanket over your shoulder?
If you’re doing it right they is nothing to see.
When will people realize that the BABY is not wearing the tent, wrap or the baby bag… There is NO need for “baby” material. Make it black, brown, grey… God, I hate this stupid world.
Um, yeah, that doesn’t work for everyone.
My breasts are big enough that I cannot do a basic, modest, pull-one-breast-out-a-little hold. I have to do a football hold, with the baby lying alongside me propped up on a pillow face up. So basically, with the breast above the baby and 100% completely exposed.
Blanket? Not good enough. Especially if you have a baby with hands. They tend to yank on things that are draped over their faces. Anyone who has a baby that doesn’t do this is lucky.
So really my only option was doing it in private. Because I was not going to buy a big nursing tent. But at least I can understand the reason for their existence. And there are definitely more attractive options out there than this one in any case . . .
I’m in the same boat, Rushgirl, the Mega Milk factories and the baby that wouldn’t stand to have anything over his face. (He’s five now, I breastfed for a year). I think I tried it twice before I gave the heck up. If they want to get a look at boob skin, let them have at it. The nipple is occupied anyway, if it bothers the little nancies soo much.
“SIZE: One size fits many. Material totals 3 yds. circumference and 32″ Length from neckline to waistline.
Larger sizes can be requested (allow 3-5 days for production from purchase date).”
OH, thank GAWD – you can get them in bigger sizes! I was so worried….
Oh good! The entire family is going camping so if we get the larger size we won’t need to buy two.
Oh yeah. NOBODY’S going to stare at you wearing this thing.
I feel the strangest urge to share this story. When I was breastfeeding my youngest, I went to a tattoo parlor, because, you know, I’m classy like that. And while we were there naturally he got hungry and fussy. I was a little embarrassed about whipping a boob out since I didn’t have a blanket, up until this little old lady comes around the divider. She’s got tattoos up both arms, and an eye patch. An honest to God eye patch. She looks at the baby, back at me, then says “Shit girl they’s just titties! Give the little man what he wants!”
That being said, as an avid Regretsy fan do you think HK will give me points if I buy one of these monstrosities and make it into a blouse? To wear with my skants of course.
Double points for a coordinating eye patch!
I’m late to this one. Did I miss the “don’t you tell me when to stop weaning my ten year-old” shitstorm?
I was just thinking I could use granny panties for my boobs, too!
When I breastfed, I just tossed a shawl over my shoulder. We were soooo backward in the ’80s!
Weirder yet, I know many women who just WENT TO THE BATHROOM. Talk about crazy!
I think wearing some kind of ultra slutty peekaboo style bra would be more dignified than wearing this.
I can think of nothing more attractive to wear when I’m having post-partum depression and feel like an ungainly human milk machine. Why doesn’t the model wear a cowbell for added charm?
Watch out for that TRADEMARK, you guys. All of you now owe this seller a quarter for every time you used the word “milktent”. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Expect a cease and desist order any minute now.
The cropped face isn’t fooling anyone, Lysa Arryn. No-one else breastfeeds a child that big.
Sorry, it isn’t black & white holstein print. Not interested.
Finally! A discreet way to give my Yorkie a handjob at the mall.
I like that she is trying to be modest about breastfeeding whilst apparently wearing no pants.
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