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Angry Turd

You think the bird is angry, you should see the buyer.

67 comments on Angry Turd

  1. Dorkus Malorkus
    November 19, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    Just what baby clothes need: embellishments that are already the color of baby poop.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Bitch Pudding
      November 19, 2012 at 4:24 pm

      And nipples.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Unfortunate Incident
      November 20, 2012 at 7:05 am

      Baby clothes should be comforting to the small child. Which is, of course, why you’d want to use characters from a PBS shows instead.

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

  2. telegramsamo
    November 19, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    The perfect way to make people stop staring at your tits.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • telegramsamo
      November 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm

      I’m assuming adult sizes can be commissioned.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • lovinglymadewithspite
        November 20, 2012 at 7:23 am

        for a fee. But “she’ll need the size needed.”
        It’s like that car commercial where the lady says she likes that the car’s tires really make the car feel “grounded to the ground.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

  3. snerk
    November 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    That’s what you get for opening the lost ark, bird.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  4. rare_birds
    November 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    This is perfect for people who like to get their babies shit-faced.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  5. LeeLooDallas
    November 19, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    That’s my favorite (cr)app!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • BaronessDSauce
      November 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

      i think it was crappliquéd by the baby.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

  6. LeeLooDallas
    November 19, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    “100 available”
    That crafter was crocheting turds for weeks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

    • angelbuttons77
      November 20, 2012 at 4:47 am

      Maybe the crafter should have taken the picture of the FIRST one, not the 100th one where hands were tired or cramping.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • argusrun
      November 20, 2012 at 6:38 am

      That’s it. I am confiscating her hooks on behalf of all crocheters everywhere. Not for the baby turds, but the eyes.

      Circles are incredibly easy to do in crochet. There is no excuse for the squished marshmallow looking things.

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • terriwells
        November 20, 2012 at 12:34 pm

        Up-thumbed for truth; I’ve been crocheting for nearly four decades. If I ever make something crocheted for sale, I swear it won’t look this sloppy.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

  7. Dances With Lasagna
    November 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I’ve squinted as hard as could, cocked my head to all sorts of obscene angles… and I still don’t see it.

    Yes, I know that the titular character is a red, hook-beaked, something-or-other. But I can’t in all honesty look at that travesty and think “bird”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • Dances With Lasagna
      November 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

      Bird POOP, maybe. But not bird.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Zippy
        November 19, 2012 at 7:48 pm

        I think we got the bird.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • docleather
          November 20, 2012 at 5:54 am

          I think this sweater has the bird flu, see how it runs?

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • lovinglymadewithspite
            November 20, 2012 at 7:24 am

            I think I just got the bird flu… or swine flu. Don’t the angry birds fling pigs or something?

            Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • LNETSY
      November 19, 2012 at 5:53 pm

      I squinted and sorta see a reindeer. Sorta.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  8. Cockamamie Jamie
    November 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Ha, HA!! Looks like a demon on a broom chasing a rabbit! This IS the Rorschach examination I was scheduled for, right??

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

    • MitziBell
      November 19, 2012 at 4:46 pm

      The right eyebrow is definitely Moby Dick attacking the Pequod. Except black. The left eyebrow is Dory from Finding Nemo. The beak is some of Rapunzel’s hair that got ripped out. But the eyes … I dunno. Beak bits from a deformed squid?

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • tralfaz
      November 20, 2012 at 1:35 am

      That’s all I ever see in those pictures. You’d think they use different ones.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  9. LeeLooDallas
    November 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    Flock of Fecals.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

    • Dances With Lasagna
      November 19, 2012 at 4:24 pm

      “Fly like a Feces” – Steve Manure Band

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  10. Glasgow
    November 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    That is a lot of money for something so badly made.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • LeeLooDallas
      November 19, 2012 at 4:28 pm

      Since there are 100 of these things, maybe they’re like the story of Bartholomew Cubbins, and the 100th one actually looks like a bird.

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 20, 2012 at 7:31 am

      But it’s made of “super-soft” yarn. Using descriptive words that start with the same letters makes people buy stuff. It’s basically a mind-fuck.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Cockamamie Jamie
        November 20, 2012 at 8:02 am

        How many times do I have to tell you people! They’re made in Bali. It’s a collective dammitt!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  11. aliceblue
    November 19, 2012 at 4:26 pm

    I have never played “Angry Birds,” but doesn’t it have something to do with pigs getting attacked by birds and not birds being flatted by 18-wheelers? That thing looks like it got peeled off the grill of a Mack truck.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 20, 2012 at 7:25 am

      Sorry, didn’t see your post. I was wondering the same thing about the pigs.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Cockamamie Jamie
      November 20, 2012 at 8:03 am

      If I were those birds, I would be angry too.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  12. FullofWhit
    November 19, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    Stop encouraging me to fire babies at walls with my giant sling shot!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

  13. Glasgow
    November 19, 2012 at 4:31 pm

    And why will sellers never learn not to post blurry pictures of what they are trying to sell? If it gives me a migraine I am probably not buying.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Plembot
      November 20, 2012 at 7:54 am

      Some of them are blurry AND upside down.
      I’m also disturbed that she mostly uses bushes or grass for her displays. I guess the bugs, twigs and hayfever hives are included in the price?

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  14. Bitch Pudding
    November 19, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Gaiz gaiz it was based on this pattern

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

    • Dances With Lasagna
      November 19, 2012 at 4:43 pm

      If so, the seller must’ve had his/her eyes pecked out by that same bird.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Frankenoid
        November 19, 2012 at 5:35 pm

        I think the seller must have trouble with her eyesight — check out some of her other photographs.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • easilyannoyed
          November 19, 2012 at 6:54 pm

          After scrolling through the rest of her offerings, the angry bird sweater is the least of her problems. The two-piece, one-piece dress, for example, is…..”interesting”.

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

          • Badger
            November 19, 2012 at 9:30 pm

            I agree with Frankenoid. It actually looks better when I take my glasses OFF.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • aliceblue
      November 20, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      I’d wear that pizza before I’d touch the sweater.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  15. borborygmus
    November 19, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    I love that the seller is NinasCrochetMagic, but that is too long to fit on the screen. So, when you look at her listings, they say NinasCroch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 20, 2012 at 7:26 am

      and that must be one angry croch

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  16. MitziBell
    November 19, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    It took me quite a while to figure out what was meant by “a 0-6 month sweater set”. I was thinking “Is this how long it takes the seller to make one? Because yeah, some of it looks hasty enough to have taken 0 months. But what took 6 months? And why would anyone wait that long to take delivery?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  17. yummycake
    November 19, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    Is it supposed to look like someone fired the angry bird INTO the sweater?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  18. ThisLegOfMine
    November 19, 2012 at 5:20 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -25

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 20, 2012 at 7:32 am

      Shameless self promotion is icky. Think of the children.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

  19. Chicken Slammer
    November 19, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    I believe that look is called ‘This is what my pillow looks like after a night out with lots of booze’

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  20. lemon_bombs
    November 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    It looks like the seller photographed with the wrong side up.

    I am being generous in assuming there even is a right side.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 20, 2012 at 7:26 am

      maybe inside out as well…?

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  21. Postmenopaws ™
    November 19, 2012 at 8:04 pm

    This would have been great for my daughter 30 years ago when I was a fan of “Attack of The Killer Tomatoes.” Oh, and when she was a baby.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  22. shabbyshit
    November 19, 2012 at 8:31 pm

    i think the person who made this was the angry one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  23. CuttingPixels
    November 19, 2012 at 9:16 pm

    Her listings all look like they were taken with a flip phone. I wish more people realized how important good pictures are.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  24. 3littlerascals
    November 20, 2012 at 12:48 am

    At least you can see it! I’m not even sure what this listing of hers is!
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/113840609/red-heart-christmas-keepsakesbook-1408?ref=cat_gallery_13

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  25. rushgirl2112
    November 20, 2012 at 5:17 am

    Is it just me, or does the top part of the beak look like it’s attached to the inside back of that thing?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  26. Holytape
    November 20, 2012 at 7:21 am

    I bought this and I am disappointing. I put my baby in it. Built a giant sling shot. My aim was perfect, but those damn pigs failed to exploded.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 20, 2012 at 7:29 am

      I know it is sad when you miss, but you are NOT a disappointment! Never mind what your parents might have told you! I’m sure you turned out to be a well adjusted Fat-Ugly-Loser… just like the rest of us! ;)

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • lovinglymadewithspite
        November 20, 2012 at 7:34 am

        Oh! i forgot, we are jealous too. sorry.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  27. Plembot
    November 20, 2012 at 8:05 am

    This store is like Regretsy Disneyland. She has horribly blurry pictures, derps galore, ridiculous items, confusing descriptions, and unflattering displays for most of her items. I think Helen or Crochet could use her for the next month of posts if they didn’t feel like spreading the love around Etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  28. MSTeacher3K
    November 20, 2012 at 9:20 am

    On her Miss Piggy outfit, this the description:
    “It is made of super soft yarn It includes a sweater, booties and hat. It will not include booties it is is made in size 2 and above.”

    So, does it include the booties or not? My purchase of this outfit is is* contingent on the inclusion of booties.

    *using her exact words

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  29. jeninmaine
    November 20, 2012 at 10:26 am

    The acrylic pot holder is one of the best. Grab a piece of glassware out of the oven and let me know how that goes for you!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  30. BadHeadache
    November 20, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Surprised this ad doesn’t say “I could make this with my eyes closed. Heck! That’s just exactly what I did!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  31. Petja-Herra
    November 20, 2012 at 1:32 pm

    Peter Vesterbacka, Rovio’s marketing director is an old friend.
    I’ll post a link to her.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

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