Check out the rest of her shop. The woman who made these makes beautiful stuff, and she donates really generously to charity. I held a benefit concert with silent auction last week (michaelpalooza dot org) for a friend who was paralyzed from the neck down in an accident, and she donated ten items to the auction. It would be awesome if being featured on Regretsy made a bunch of sales for her.
Aw man. I was going to come in here and be all snarky. But yeah, you’re right a lot of her stuff is really beautiful, actually. And she sounds like a super nice lady.
I am surprised myself on this. I thought crotch in the thumbnail, but when I took a look, I thought it was a pretty cool idea done well, and actually within the price range of a sane person.
It’s sure a hell of a lot nicer to look at than the cold dead skin of roadkill made into a purse.
To be honest, the orange pendant is the only thing I find pretty. The rest of it looks like my dehydrator made jewelry, and I only find that attractive if I’m eating it.
I actually agree with this. Is the post below this really about two tuff balls that happen to rest on the girl’s crotch? That’s the kind of humor you could find in the back of any 6th grade classroom, it’s not witty or insightful. The stuff that used to be selected for regresty was truly, absolutely flabbergasting. For a while now though it’s just been “that’s kind of weird/funny now that you point it out, I guess.” The skinned raccoon is probably the most notable one that’s been posted in a while and even that took actual effort on behalf of the poster.
I’m of two minds. Nothing but sixth grade humor would tire me out personally, but I’m not sure that sixth grade humor, itself, is not capable of being witty or insightful. I always like the old line about adults as children who survived and grew, not children who stopped being interested in ANYTHING that they loved as kids.
Some of the sixth grade humor on Regretsy makes me laugh on bad days.
I don’t care what they post. You can make something funny out of anything, in my opinion.
I personally love it when a thread goes completely off the deep-end and gets super weird. Like how I live in a crawlspace on wheels and have a pinecone n’ brambles girlfriend and play a raccoon-bagpipe. You can’t just come up with that out of nowhere, it takes a bunch of posts that increase in absurdity until all-of-a-sudden you find yourself in this really weird place. I really live for that.
Man, I KNEW guys never really liked girls who didn’t pretend to be stupid.
*sighs, crumples up boudoir portrait of Zippy, but still goes back to reading new Oliver Sacks book from the library while conjugating French verbs in the subjunctive mood*
For 28 bucks, I’d prefer to buy an pair already aged to know what I’m really getting. Better, for 28 bucks, I could probably just buy strawberries often and slice me a pair as needed.
The bees and fruit-flies buzzing around my ears would eventually get to be too much for me if the earrings were fresh strawberries. And if I wore earrings. And if I had ears. Damn you mechanical rice picker! Spock got pointy ears when he got his head stuck in there. He was the lucky one.
How about preserved slices of Twinkies now that Hostess has gone under? Come to think of it, you probably wouldn’t even need to preserve them (as they could withstand the apocalypse) so that’s a step saved for the lazy etsian.
She sold a strawberry beret
The kind you gift to a high-class whore
Strawberry beret
It’s fruit-based porn at her Etsy store
Strawberry beret
I think I love her.
Hey everyone!! I’m Zoe and I am the owner of this shop. I’m surprised to see my item here on Regretsy, but alas it’s here. I’ll just say a little bit about my products to clear up any misconceptions.
Thank you to all of those who have said positive things about my shop and my products. For those of you that have been wondering if the jewelry rots or changes in some way: The jewelry does not rot or change shape, or curl up and die! LOL! And it doesn’t start to stink either. The fruit is preserved and then coated with resin, which seals it in very well. Some color changes do occur in some of the fruits, due to UV rays. This happens in particular with the kiwis, which go from bright green to yellow-green, and the strawberries, which go from bright pink to dark, antique pink…they end up looking like a dried rose petal as I stated in my description.
This is my current best seller! Check it out! No dye added, blood oranges are naturally red, and they retain their color quite well over time. The fruit is dried first, which prevents decomposition, then the resin coat adds an airtight, durable layer of protection that lasts! The resin makes the dried fruit juicy as can be : )
Hate to admit it but I own one of her kiwi pendants. It looks way better in person, much more like a stone/geode; no one ever thinks it’s fruit (why the hell would anyone wear dried fruit?). Regardless, these strawberry slices make me want to go all vajayjay on them, but I’m fresh out of fruity vagina jokes.
I added the shop to my favourites. Am I going to be shunned by the Regretsy community now? My hipster side is begging to uy one of these and wear them to work just to see my co-workers’ reactions.
The Big Secret About Regretsy – a lot of people here LOVE the stuff that’s featured.
Someone bought the two-inch-long blue curdoroy elephant with one ear missing that was featured in the very beginning, and many of us consider this the Holy Grail of Regretsy.
I have to admit, the *only* thing that bothers me about these is the way the leaves on top look kind of shriveled and icky-colored. I’m totally cool with resin-coated fruit, in moderation, of course.
November 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm
A red, rounded, oblong shape with a hole in the middle, and you didn’t go there? Are we turning over a new leaf?
November 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm
agreed this just SCREAMS for a bajingo joke
November 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Are these availible in watermelon slices?
I dont think these scream FRUITCAKE quite loud enough for me.
November 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm
They do come in dragonfruit!
I’m particularly partial to the orange slice ring, actually. If I had 30 bucks to spare my wardrobe would be a lot odder.
November 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm
They look less like hearts and more like t-bone steaks to me
November 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm
I see a goatse.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/113873884/sale-real-flower-rosebud-and-lavender
November 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Check out the rest of her shop. The woman who made these makes beautiful stuff, and she donates really generously to charity. I held a benefit concert with silent auction last week (michaelpalooza dot org) for a friend who was paralyzed from the neck down in an accident, and she donated ten items to the auction. It would be awesome if being featured on Regretsy made a bunch of sales for her.
November 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm
BTW, most of the items she donated were at the top end of her price range, like this orange pendant. I think she made my friend’s fund something like $300. http://www.etsy.com/listing/111342542/real-orange-pendant-real-fruit-jewelry
November 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm
Aw man. I was going to come in here and be all snarky. But yeah, you’re right a lot of her stuff is really beautiful, actually. And she sounds like a super nice lady.
November 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm
I am surprised myself on this. I thought crotch in the thumbnail, but when I took a look, I thought it was a pretty cool idea done well, and actually within the price range of a sane person.
It’s sure a hell of a lot nicer to look at than the cold dead skin of roadkill made into a purse.
November 19, 2012 at 9:13 am
Hmmmmmm…what if one of those skinned roadkill artist took this same idea…slice the roadkill in half,then…
*shudders*
Nevermind.
November 18, 2012 at 6:37 pm
The walnut jewelry is amazeballs!
November 19, 2012 at 7:15 am
I hope the exposure = good things too! Awesome people always score high marks with the Regretsy crowd!
November 19, 2012 at 7:58 pm
See I was sure your last sentence read “It would be awesome if being featured on Regretsy made a bunch of SALADS for her”
Is it lunchtime yet?
(btw, I am loving some of those necklaces! Spesh the orange ones)
November 20, 2012 at 11:40 am
To be honest, the orange pendant is the only thing I find pretty. The rest of it looks like my dehydrator made jewelry, and I only find that attractive if I’m eating it.
Okay, correction, the walnuts are kinda cool too.
November 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Is the seller Luna Lovegood?
November 19, 2012 at 4:51 pm
No, I’m the seller…..see my comment way below : )
November 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Hmm, should I make these myself or pay $28.00? I’m going to take the lazy, cheap route and say neither.
November 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I actually like these
November 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm
You’re just restless. Wait till the morning, and reevaluate your feelings.
November 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Maybe you’re not funny anymore.
November 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Maybe the world’s not funny anymore.
Newt Gingrich is still funny, but he doesn’t count.
November 18, 2012 at 6:26 pm
I feel funny.
November 18, 2012 at 6:35 pm
I’m funny looking.
November 18, 2012 at 6:49 pm
My dinner tastes funny.
November 18, 2012 at 7:13 pm
That’s funny. I feel pretty. oh so pretty
November 18, 2012 at 7:37 pm
I also feel funny, the room is spinning and getting dark–was I NOT supposed to eat these? I thought resin for a fancy french word for frosting.
November 18, 2012 at 8:04 pm
My feet smell funny.
November 18, 2012 at 9:25 pm
My Mom dresses me funny.
November 18, 2012 at 10:12 pm
Funny you should mention that…
November 19, 2012 at 9:15 am
Clowns…don’t forget how THEY taste.
November 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm
FLOUNCE! FLOUNCE! FLOUNCE!
(This flounce brought to you by Sock Puppet Theatre coming Nov 30th!)
November 18, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Only if you double-secret superlike it on Facebook.
November 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Tomorrow morning go to Starbucks and buy yourself at least 7 words worth of coffee and check back.
November 18, 2012 at 8:10 pm
I actually agree with this. Is the post below this really about two tuff balls that happen to rest on the girl’s crotch? That’s the kind of humor you could find in the back of any 6th grade classroom, it’s not witty or insightful. The stuff that used to be selected for regresty was truly, absolutely flabbergasting. For a while now though it’s just been “that’s kind of weird/funny now that you point it out, I guess.” The skinned raccoon is probably the most notable one that’s been posted in a while and even that took actual effort on behalf of the poster.
November 18, 2012 at 9:42 pm
I felt bad for you Viviane, so I found you a present
http://www.etsy.com/listing/91787087/rainbow-glitter-sugar-cookies-unicorn
November 19, 2012 at 8:05 am
I’m of two minds. Nothing but sixth grade humor would tire me out personally, but I’m not sure that sixth grade humor, itself, is not capable of being witty or insightful. I always like the old line about adults as children who survived and grew, not children who stopped being interested in ANYTHING that they loved as kids.
Some of the sixth grade humor on Regretsy makes me laugh on bad days.
November 19, 2012 at 9:26 am
I don’t care what they post. You can make something funny out of anything, in my opinion.
I personally love it when a thread goes completely off the deep-end and gets super weird. Like how I live in a crawlspace on wheels and have a pinecone n’ brambles girlfriend and play a raccoon-bagpipe. You can’t just come up with that out of nowhere, it takes a bunch of posts that increase in absurdity until all-of-a-sudden you find yourself in this really weird place. I really live for that.
November 19, 2012 at 10:14 am
What’s weird about living in a crawlspace on wheels?
Know what you mean though Matt – I like those threads too
Hey, say hi to Bramblita for me!
November 19, 2012 at 10:54 am
Sometimes the original post is just the spark in the gunpowder warehouse.
November 20, 2012 at 9:02 am
I’m pretty much here to be part of things going off the rails. Yes. I dunno, I’ll even make fun of stuff I like. Myself included.
November 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm
When they say that the strawberries might change to more of an “antique color”, they mean “brown”, right?
November 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Or green. Or black. My main concern is if the shape may also evolve in time.
November 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Unfortunately, the one thing you’d want is the strawberry smell, and that’s sealed in resin for eternity.
November 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm
I think they might kind of curl up eventually.
November 18, 2012 at 6:27 pm
I would enjoy seeing them up until they make the transition from “strawberry” to “scab”.
November 18, 2012 at 6:53 pm
You can’t challenge oxidation and expect to win.
November 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm
You guys! She blinded me with Science! Not cool, Mel!
November 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Man, I KNEW guys never really liked girls who didn’t pretend to be stupid.
*sighs, crumples up boudoir portrait of Zippy, but still goes back to reading new Oliver Sacks book from the library while conjugating French verbs in the subjunctive mood*
November 18, 2012 at 10:21 pm
You’ve reduced me to blinding tears with your oxidation, not with your superior intellect. Draw a new triangle with unibrow and let’s make up.
November 18, 2012 at 10:37 pm
Well…ok. But this time I’m not drawing you in your hot civil-war reenactment getup again. I’m not ready yet.
November 18, 2012 at 10:52 pm
*sadly sheathes saber*
November 19, 2012 at 12:34 am
These reduction-oxidation jokes have great potential.
November 19, 2012 at 9:21 am
We use reduction/oxidation in kiln firing…that probably doesn’t translate into humor, though, accept in pottery-nerd circles.
November 19, 2012 at 5:22 pm
It’s “redox” in chemistry, because we don’t have time to say it out. Busy chemist is busy.
November 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm
“the colour will change”…yeah, they will rot. Resin notwithstanding…they will effing ROT!!!
November 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I think they’re kind of beautiful, assuming they don’t, yeah, rot.
November 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm
For 28 bucks, I’d prefer to buy an pair already aged to know what I’m really getting. Better, for 28 bucks, I could probably just buy strawberries often and slice me a pair as needed.
November 18, 2012 at 6:33 pm
The bees and fruit-flies buzzing around my ears would eventually get to be too much for me if the earrings were fresh strawberries. And if I wore earrings. And if I had ears. Damn you mechanical rice picker! Spock got pointy ears when he got his head stuck in there. He was the lucky one.
November 18, 2012 at 6:51 pm
But you got to keep the unibrow. Don’t discount that.
November 18, 2012 at 7:10 pm
The sensation of my eyebrow hair movements in slight air currents caused by sound is almost like hearing.
November 18, 2012 at 7:27 pm
Don’t be cilia. The unibrow does more than that.
November 18, 2012 at 7:53 pm
See: http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/2012/09/sep-26-2012.html
November 18, 2012 at 10:24 pm
It also keeps me from taking advantage of people with my sparkling personality. So you’re all safe!
November 18, 2012 at 6:39 pm
I find stuff like this when I clean under the seats in my car.
November 18, 2012 at 7:17 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 18, 2012 at 7:44 pm
In general, I wish people would back away from the resin.
November 18, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Is it OK if they back away INTO the resin? Solves the problem, either way.
November 18, 2012 at 8:14 pm
I will be checking on that embarrassing itch first thing tomorrow!
November 18, 2012 at 8:42 pm
I think I’m in love with the seller’s orange pendants. Look how pretty! –> http://www.etsy.com/listing/111342542/real-orange-pendant-real-fruit-jewelry
November 18, 2012 at 10:41 pm
I’m holding out for preserved bacon slices. To help me ride out the bacopalyse. Let us pray.
November 19, 2012 at 12:03 am
How about preserved slices of Twinkies now that Hostess has gone under? Come to think of it, you probably wouldn’t even need to preserve them (as they could withstand the apocalypse) so that’s a step saved for the lazy etsian.
November 19, 2012 at 10:52 pm
Hm. Has there been any Twinkie tragicrafting yet?
November 19, 2012 at 12:36 am
What? NOOOOO!!
November 19, 2012 at 8:02 pm
Actually, I take back my thumb-up. What a waste of perfectly good bacon!
November 19, 2012 at 12:06 am
Miss Frizzle would soooo wear these.
Magic School bus anybody?
November 19, 2012 at 8:08 am
I love you guys just barely enough to not post a particular image here…
…but not enough to avoid suggesting you search “strawberry shitcake” and hit “I’m feeling lucky”.
November 19, 2012 at 9:36 am
Oh, My… (in the voice of George Takei) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNkGbTuGHd0
November 19, 2012 at 11:17 am
Fuck you, I always have to do that shit…..sigh….
November 19, 2012 at 8:23 am
She sold a strawberry beret
The kind you gift to a high-class whore
Strawberry beret
It’s fruit-based porn at her Etsy store
Strawberry beret
I think I love her.
November 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm
74 comments & no one congratulates you on the awesome caption?!? “Spoiler Alert” is genius!
November 19, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Hey everyone!! I’m Zoe and I am the owner of this shop. I’m surprised to see my item here on Regretsy, but alas it’s here. I’ll just say a little bit about my products to clear up any misconceptions.
Thank you to all of those who have said positive things about my shop and my products. For those of you that have been wondering if the jewelry rots or changes in some way: The jewelry does not rot or change shape, or curl up and die! LOL! And it doesn’t start to stink either. The fruit is preserved and then coated with resin, which seals it in very well. Some color changes do occur in some of the fruits, due to UV rays. This happens in particular with the kiwis, which go from bright green to yellow-green, and the strawberries, which go from bright pink to dark, antique pink…they end up looking like a dried rose petal as I stated in my description.
My best to you all! <3
Zoe
November 19, 2012 at 5:15 pm
This is my current best seller! Check it out! No dye added, blood oranges are naturally red, and they retain their color quite well over time. The fruit is dried first, which prevents decomposition, then the resin coat adds an airtight, durable layer of protection that lasts! The resin makes the dried fruit juicy as can be : )
https://www.etsy.com/listing/95705279/blood-orange-necklace-fruit-jewelry
November 19, 2012 at 5:16 pm
rather, –makes the dried fruit *look* as juicy as can be!
~Z
November 20, 2012 at 10:04 am
Welcome! You make some really neat stuff!
November 20, 2012 at 5:53 am
Hate to admit it but I own one of her kiwi pendants. It looks way better in person, much more like a stone/geode; no one ever thinks it’s fruit (why the hell would anyone wear dried fruit?). Regardless, these strawberry slices make me want to go all vajayjay on them, but I’m fresh out of fruity vagina jokes.
November 20, 2012 at 6:11 am
I have to admit, the t-bone steak comment was funny!
November 20, 2012 at 10:22 am
I added the shop to my favourites. Am I going to be shunned by the Regretsy community now? My hipster side is begging to uy one of these and wear them to work just to see my co-workers’ reactions.
November 20, 2012 at 10:23 am
*buy
November 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm
The Big Secret About Regretsy – a lot of people here LOVE the stuff that’s featured.
Someone bought the two-inch-long blue curdoroy elephant with one ear missing that was featured in the very beginning, and many of us consider this the Holy Grail of Regretsy.
November 21, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Cool. So it’s level a whole new level of hoarding
November 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm
Was that always the title? Because I read this post the other day and must have missed it. Almost just lost my vodka iced tea onto the keyboard!
November 24, 2012 at 7:14 pm
I have to admit, the *only* thing that bothers me about these is the way the leaves on top look kind of shriveled and icky-colored. I’m totally cool with resin-coated fruit, in moderation, of course.