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Grow a Pair

EVERYONE LIKES WARM NUTS

81 comments on Grow a Pair

  1. HedonisteEgoiste
    November 18, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Read that as “Dirty old sweater becomes a skirt.”

    Giggity-giggity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  2. Irishyankee
    November 18, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Wearing this in public requires balls!

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

    • Purple
      November 18, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      Good thing they come attached!

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • mbj
      November 18, 2012 at 6:43 pm

      That was low hanging fruit.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  3. Petja-Herra
    November 18, 2012 at 10:06 am

    I thought that they must now shave?

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

    • Glasgow
      November 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

      Only when they extend below the hem of the skirt.

      Thumb up Thumb down +24

  4. Zippy
    November 18, 2012 at 10:07 am

    “Do these reindeer make my balls look fat?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

      This is where BRO is so effective. Balls, Regularly Out.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  5. Matt Johnson
    November 18, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I always like to think that my balls are “the icing on the cake”, too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +105

    • Zippy
      November 18, 2012 at 10:25 am

      I’ve heard of balls “making” icing, but “being”?

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • reddogbon
      November 18, 2012 at 11:53 am

      I’m sure your balls are the icing on any cake, Matt.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Matt Johnson
        November 18, 2012 at 11:56 am

        My balls are blushing right now, reddogbon.

        Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • Cockamamie Jamie
        November 18, 2012 at 12:55 pm

        Or the sauce to anyone’s flesh wallet

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Zippy
        November 18, 2012 at 2:29 pm

        The bouncers at the club. “Sorry, the party’s full up. You’ll have to wait.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Stretch65
        November 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

        This skirt would look great with a pearl necklace

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  6. PeacefulDave
    November 18, 2012 at 10:14 am

    “Tinkered Woolen Tassels” That’s my new band name!

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  7. shimmyya
    November 18, 2012 at 10:15 am

    I like the reindeer’s expressions as they look at the crotch-al regaion. They’re all, “hubba hubba!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

    • lizzy1
      November 18, 2012 at 10:20 am

      Yes – I wonder if it has the same design at the back, with the little mountains like haemorrhoids and the reindeers all ‘Yay, you go girl.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • Elysapeth
        November 18, 2012 at 10:26 am

        Who doesn’t like happy reindeer smiling at your bajango?

        Thumb up Thumb down +45

        • aliceblue
          November 19, 2012 at 1:37 am

          Better than disgruntled reindeer sneering at it. ;)

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • Mapleleaves
      November 18, 2012 at 11:11 am

      They’re not looking at her crotch, they’re checking out her mountains.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

      • lovinglymadewithspite
        November 18, 2012 at 3:29 pm

        Or are the mountains pointing to the “money shot” ? “Right here fella, bring it on in!”

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • Shirley Knott
        November 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm

        That’d be Mons Veneris, no?

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  8. forty-nine dollar suit
    November 18, 2012 at 10:18 am

    The tassels are ill-advised. The rest, pretty neat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

    • aliceblue
      November 19, 2012 at 1:26 am

      True. While the sweater pattern is not to my personal taste, it looks very well done. It is really something that a person would actually want to wear. (after it has been neutered of course).

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  9. tiny giraffe
    November 18, 2012 at 10:21 am

    And all this time, I thought “Yule Balls” were dances.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

      “Um… Mame, yule balls are hanging sorta low…, Oh I mean, Sir….”

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  10. docleather
    November 18, 2012 at 10:26 am

    damnit, it’s moments like these I wish I wasn’t getting ready for my chorus’ holiday concert..
    Old Mr. Kringle, is soon gonna jingle, the bells that’ll tingle all your troubles away.. everybody’s waiting for the man with the bag.
    what a HO,HO,HO

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  11. docleather
    November 18, 2012 at 10:29 am

    is it me or are those Deer staring a bit too eagerly at her bajingo?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • aliceblue
      November 19, 2012 at 1:35 am

      It’s been a long cold winter with just Santa and those elves.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  12. Elysapeth
    November 18, 2012 at 10:31 am

    Who doesn’t like their woolen tassels tinkered? My man agrees that IS the icing on the cake!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  13. CuttingPixels
    November 18, 2012 at 10:35 am

    I thought they get shorter in cold weather….

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  14. melagrana
    November 18, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Those reindeer look to me like shorthair Pointers wearing antlers.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • lettucego
      November 18, 2012 at 11:43 am

      I see moose, and a two-headed dog.

      Rorschach test skirt?

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • Matt Johnson
        November 18, 2012 at 11:57 am

        I SEE MY HORRIBLE CHILDHOOD!!! NOOOOO!!!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

        • Zippy
          November 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm

          Now, now. “Uncle” Knut has gone far away and won’t be here teasing you about not liking chaw this year. I can’t blame ya, his homemade version was profoundly wrong. His taste in sweaters was also a little iffy.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

  15. SiliconeSunflower
    November 18, 2012 at 10:45 am

    I totally need a short skirt with a winter theme, made of warm wool. For those days when the weather can’t make up its mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • 888mph
      November 18, 2012 at 11:10 am

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -28

      • lovinglymadewithspite
        November 18, 2012 at 3:24 pm

        Wow 888, “what’s your damage?” – The Heathers.

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

  16. Zippy
    November 18, 2012 at 10:48 am

    “Deck the Vag with tinkered tassels,
    HA-ha-ha-ha-ha ha-HA-ha-ha.
    It only seems like it’d be a hassle,
    HA-ha-ha-ha-ha ha-HA-ha-ha.
    Don we now our woolen testes,
    HA-ha-ha-ha-ha ha-HA-ha-ha.
    It’ll be fun to show your guest these,
    HA-ha-ha-ha-ha ha-HA-ha-ha.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +67

    • reddogbon
      November 18, 2012 at 11:41 am

      HA-ha-ha-ha-ha ha-HA-hoo-haw

      There, I fixed it for you.

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

  17. Mapleleaves
    November 18, 2012 at 10:59 am

    If it wasn’t for the added manliness, this would be sort of cute.

    Except you’d have to call it a skwatter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 18, 2012 at 3:25 pm

      Oh dear, now i have the mental image of a man squatting, balls out, doing something… I can’t even get past the squatting.

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • aliceblue
        November 19, 2012 at 1:29 am

        Does swunter give you any better picture? Ooh, wait, even better, a SWAJINGO!

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

  18. lllisa
    November 18, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Well, tinker my tassels!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  19. Matt Johnson
    November 18, 2012 at 11:03 am

    “There’s no beating my Schweater Balls.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  20. LNETSY
    November 18, 2012 at 11:14 am

    I guess it’s the thought that counts. It was a cute idea. Maybe if the skirt was twisted off-center or something?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • angrierthanyou
      November 18, 2012 at 8:38 pm

      Yeah, I like this. I’ve seen it done before with old band shirts on punkrockdomestics.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • aliceblue
      November 19, 2012 at 1:30 am

      Or if all of us weren’t twisted off-center. :)

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  21. Zippy
    November 18, 2012 at 11:32 am

    I just hope there’s enough of the rest of the sweater to make a pair of holiday “Swants”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Plembot
      November 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

      Or a snood.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Zippy
        November 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm

        Or an ovipositor warmer for – Them!

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • melagrana
          November 18, 2012 at 6:46 pm

          I thumbed you up just for saying ovipositor, Z.

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Zippy
            November 18, 2012 at 10:43 pm

            I was afraid that would lay an egg.

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

  22. JadeRose
    November 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -8

    • angelbuttons77
      November 19, 2012 at 7:21 am

      Because HK NEVER made balls jokes….

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  23. Cockamamie Jamie
    November 18, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    So, due to the stretching of the “sweat skirt”, are there reindeer on the back? And if they’re are, they must be much lager on the back? Inquiring minds want to know!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • reddogbon
      November 18, 2012 at 2:20 pm

      I suspect much lager was involved in making this.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • Zippy
        November 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm

        It’s good for what ales ya.

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

  24. ohskittles
    November 18, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    Baby it’s cold outside! Why don’t you sit right down with a nice warm teabag.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  25. MitziBell
    November 18, 2012 at 2:27 pm

    A perfect item for the Chinese grandpa who has become a fashion model for his granddaughter’s store.

    http://offbeatchina.com/modeling-for-teen-girl-clothes-on-tmall-72-year-old-grandpa-from-becomes-internet-sensation

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • Zippy
      November 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

      Man, Chinese Grandpa can rock anything! And he’s killing the indifferent gaze.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • bunbun
        November 20, 2012 at 6:13 am

        he does have that perfect boyish figure that most models would kill for.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm

      He is great!! Love the pink coat, hush.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Betty Boo Boo
      November 19, 2012 at 4:22 pm

      OMG, the neon green stick legs!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  26. mbj
    November 18, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    59 comments and not a single “jingle bells” reference. tsk tsk tsk, Fat Jealous Losers, Imma disappoint.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Shirley Knott
      November 18, 2012 at 7:59 pm

      Reindeer round yon virgin good enough?

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  27. Mystik Spiral
    November 18, 2012 at 7:08 pm

    Yay, they posted my submission. Wheeeeee!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • angrierthanyou
      November 18, 2012 at 8:37 pm

      Uh oh, did you read the website? “Publications of photos or text are not allowed. Every illegal publication will be charged.”

      Now we’re going to get in trouble with Koppian and Paystin again, and it’ll be all your fault! We’re all going to have to pay a nickel to comment on her copyrighted work!

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Zippy
        November 18, 2012 at 10:46 pm

        I’ll crease and detest but I WILL SUBMIT!

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • aliceblue
          November 19, 2012 at 1:34 am

          Good to know that about you Zippy. Just let me find my high-heeled leather boots and I’ll be getting back to you.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • aliceblue
        November 19, 2012 at 1:33 am

        Send her some eagle tears.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

  28. Marla Singers Laundry
    November 19, 2012 at 7:10 am

    The mons is upside-down. Has this woman never SEEN a vagina?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • Shirley Knott
      November 19, 2012 at 3:10 pm

      That’s what it looks like from her POV.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  29. osric
    November 20, 2012 at 5:59 am

    I’d tuck those inside so they peek out from underneath. Much more festive!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

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