S – H – A – R – P – I – E
It’s a cool idea, but poor execution. Sharpie rubs off so easily and quickly on non-porous things.
Annnnd, that teaches the kidlets how to WRITE their numbers and letters!
words and like heimlich and choking…plus numbers like 911
I wonder if one bolt would hold enough letters to spell out “my parents suck”?
This idea seems a bit….nutty.
(I’m not ashamed)
by using “fro boys” is the seller trying to include african-americans in his sales demographics?
No shame necessary; I took one look at the picture and bolted.
Only if you buy me dinner first.
Are you sure it’s okay for girls to use it? I am not supposed to know about words and stuff except when I am cooking.
Of course. Little girls need to learn how to read recipes and grocery lists. It’s also useful to be able to read the newspaper to one’s husband when he’s had a hard day and his eyes are tired.
Your menfolk let you read the newspaper?
All true, but still I wish she’d at least make a pink version. I worry that letting my daughter handle raw, unfeminine sharpie-coating construction consumables will turn her gay, but you know, not the kind of gay that guys like with the lipstick and everything.
I’m sure they would sell you a custom 4-foot long bolt that could contain one full recipe. You should still have your man turn the nuts on it, though.
Those Bic lady pens taught us so much.
I thought men got married so that they would have someone to turn their nuts for them?
Oh, and ladies, make sure it really is 4 feet. Guys have that tendency to exagerate about the length of things involving tools and nuts.
You can’t ask your man to do that – why’d he even get a woman if it means spending all day in the kitchen, fondling nuts in exchange for food? Wasn’t that the exact task he outsourced by getting married? No, ladies, you’ll have to use all your illiterate womanly wiles to solve this problem. What you’ll need is a lower-status man, like a gardner or a pool boy, to arrange the letters and add up the sounds into words for you. Obviously this is beyond their job description so probably you’ll need to negotiate some kind of off-the-books nut-based exchange.
The underground economy is really getting shit done, tax-free! Does Obama know about this? I’m not saying I want a nut manipulation tax but if it will end this recession we should give the idea a testy.
I found the word SHART..that about sums it up
Will fro girls be allowed to use it? Seems a bit racist AND sexist to limit only to ‘fro boys.
And what if my kids have Jewfros? Can I get this in the Hebrew alphabet?
Imagine how jealous all the other kids will be with just their lame dreidels.
Please excuse the “user error” above an enjoy this instead.
I now want the bolt to spell out “SOBA”
damn you, Alice, now I have the dredel dredel dredel song stuck in my head and I’m not even Jewish. ;P
Ha, ha,isn’t that a horrible song? I’m not Jewish either, but once you hear that song it NEVER leaves your mind.
haha yeah this isn’t a choking hazard or anything.
I see a message in this picture, and I’m pretty sure it’s ‘shart’. Sums it up pretty well, really.
I cheated a little but I don’t care.
From the seller’s copy:
It is small and compact, simple for little fingers to manipulate and a great fun learning tool to keep them occupied anywhere.
I’m guessing it will keep them occupied in the ER, when they’ve swallowed such tiny little things. (There’s not indication that the seller has permanently attached the end. To assume otherwise is just…wait for it…nuts. No, I’m not ashamed, either.)
Hmm..kids like to eat nuts. May be a choking hazard?
Oh, hell, I forgot to close my bold. I hope this fixes it.
YES–FIXED! *does happy dance*
OH, Mugsy Doodle, how I’ve missed your frenetic stream-of-consciousness posts!
*waves at Matt*
Hi, Matt! Oh, thanks, it’s so nice to be missed, as often as possible. Good to see that the Matt & Zippy Show is still going strong!
It’s better than TV! Then again, I am watching “The Voice”.
You should stop watching that. Tumors could develop.
We’ve been waiting around for your return!
Seriously- where have you been? Afghanistan, fighting for ‘Merica? Easter Island, moving heavy stones dudes around? Inventing some fantastic new kind of cheese? Teaching the natives how to be sarcastic on Bikini Atoll? Professional hotdog eating circuit? Spill it, Mugsy.
Mugsy lives in New York. There was a hurricane and no power and shit like that.
So she boldly stayed there. Either way – BOLDLY!
Wherever it was, she boldly went there.
Now I know what I’m getting everyone for Christmas: Hours and hours of educational entertainment.
I know when I have to get a nut on or off a bolt, my only thought is “Wheeee!” What child wouldn’t love the thrill of painstakingly nudging bolts into the proper position to form an arbitrarily limited number of words? It combines the excitement of assembling furniture with the safety of a workbench, and the safety of a workbench with the vacuum-destroying, foot-puncturing scatterability of a box of Legos.
Wait till the threads take enough of a beating that they start to bind up. Baby’s First WD-40. Baby’s First Abraded Fingers. Baby’s First Vise Grips. Baby’s First Unfortunate Thumb-Bashing Accident. The possibilities are limitless.
Baby’s first blood blister.
Baby’s first black fingernail.
So many firsts.
Baby’s first curse.
Seriously, I let out a little scream when I saw this. Even if the nut is super-glued on, the little darlings will find a way. And kids don’t magically stop putting things in their mouths at three, either. [Shudder]
I’m glad they come in a bag…that makes maximum damage possible when Little Billy swings them at a window…the new 90 inch HD TV, baby sister’s head.
or his parents because it is a crappy idea for a toy
Also available from Irwin Mainway’s product line:
Johnny Switchblade: Adventure Punk, and Teddy Chainsaw Bear. Don’t forget parents, that Mainway products also have the Bag O’ product line for kids. There is the Bag O’ Glass, Bag O’ Nails, Bag O’ Bugs, Bag O’ Vipers, Bag O’ Sulfuric Acid.
All decent toys.
Shop early for the holidays.
I just bought Bag O’Hammers, but I’m afraid the kid I bought it for is too stupid to know what to do with them.
That’s a case when you should have bought the box-o-rocks!
Those are almost as useless as the time I bought Sack O’ Wet Leather
Does anybody want to buy this case of Ebola?
I’m thinking of marketing my long-time idea for “Hypodermic Needle Jenga”. I think it would really hone the kids’ focusing skills.
You don’t even have to sell anything but the bag. Just label it “TOY” and tell ‘em it’s their new Johnny Space Commander helmet. Simulate the anoxia of outer space without leaving the comfort of the back seat of the minivan. Try all the colors your face can change!
I’m reminded of the hilarious scene in Mad Men when the little girl comes out of the bedroom with a dry-cleaning bag over her whole body as a space monster costume and you can see the plastic steaming up and sucking into her mouth as she breathes. The mom is pissed because she’s sure her dresses weren’t hung back up. It just needed lead-based makeup to capture my childhood experience.
//channeling Jane Curtin//
MISTER Mainway, how can you say your toys are safe?
Please explain to me the fun value of Bag O’ Bolts (now with added Nuts)?
Well…right….it’s you know…..it’s bolts and nuts. Its a bag o bolts with nuts, you know? It sells very well, as a matter of fact, you know? It’s just nuts and bolts……. you know? There’s no harm in that.
The Whizzo Chocolate company branched out into toys, I see.
“But if we took the bolts out… it wouldn’t be crunchy, now, would it?”
Ah, the memories of my very own “Bag O’ Glass.” Makes my scars sting just thinking of it.
Sit for a spell….
Her shop’s masthead reads “Simple stuff for kids and dogs”
Well…I’m done here.
Plus her ‘about me’ says she’s a NANNY. I am very sad for those kids right now…
Perhaps she’s a goat?
Someone spelled NINNY wrong.
“…you take the nuts and spin them around…” I’ve read that book.
“Fifty shades of OUCH!!”
I’ve heard you WROTE that book.
Shhhhh! I used a nom nom nom de plume for a reason!
I used one of those to write my nutritional guide “Grease, Salt, Sugar and Starch; Everything Else Is Just Pretense.”
First your kids will think you’re Nuts. Then they’ll Bolt.
Obvious safety issues aside, when advertising something like this, it might be helpful to, y’know, actually spell a word. Well done, Sar!
This Boggles the mind. My brain is scrabbled.
“D O G …. C A T …. B U N N … Mommy, did you make any with the letter Y?”
“Keep it down back there, Stacey, Mommy’s trying to get us to WalMart in one piece.”
“F R G H … S L U T …. Y N P F … Mommy, I can’t find any vowels!”
Now now, not another cross word out of you!
On what remote island is this “toy” fun?
Apparently the Island Of NASCAR Nannies:
“I am in my early twenties I work as a nanny for 2 amazing kids, I have a german shepard puppy and a lot of my free time is spent at race tracks around southern california.”
And now we also know where she gets all the cheap nuts and bolts: from the wreckage …
Maybe she takes them before the accidents…
I’m still trying to figure out… Well, a lot of things. But if you have five nuts on a threaded bolt, how can you change the side facing you if it has to slide up and down while it’s rotating?
hell, this isn’t even fun on the Island of Misfit Toys.
Has anyone inquired as to whether these nuts get delivered to you in a “sack” of some sort? Seems to me like that would keep them safe.
Yes, that would make it easier to lug those nuts around.
Maybe the sack could be in a cup in case the package got dropped or whacked against something or kicked or squeezed or has a ball thrown at it on a TV show.
Just got back from building things, and do you guys know how much bolts and nuts cost? Like, lots.
I’m tempted to buy this just for the hardware.
Thing is, it’s totally unclear as to how many nut-and-bolt combos you get with an order. If it’s one bolt with like 6 nuts on it, then you’re not getting a sweet deal.
It’s great that someone downthumbed that.
Some people don’t like excess nuts, what can ya do?
Sometimes ya feel like a nut, sometimes ya don’t. Candy knows our thoughts?
People with nut allergies are getting sooooo pissy these days.
Don’t pecan them, they can’t help it.
If they cashew, you’re ground(ed).
They can sure be so filbert of themselves, can’t they?
True, when irate they can use some rather salty language.
From the seller’s description, this seems to be the price for one bolt of letters with a bonus bolt of numbers. Your favorite hardware store just might be able to beat that price.
Whew! Misleading photo misleads!
OK, that’s 10 nuts , 2 locknuts and 2 (6″?) bolts.
What size? 1/2″? 3/8″? WHY WON’T SHE TELL US!!!!
OK, let’s go with 1/2, since that’s what I bought this morning: $3.64
I SAVED 36 CENTS!!!!
Seriously, that’s a shitty profit margin, hon.
Ok. So these are standard. Can I get them in metric? I want to maybe get the, for a friend in the UK.
“Especially [for] boys but girls will have fun too.”
I don’t know if I’d go THAT far. Do you really think the vagina-impaired gender’s tiny, oh-so-delicate little fingers can handle touching a metal bolt without breaking into hives? Screws and nuts are engineering devices, after all, and not the kind you use in the kitchen. Maybe if you colored them pink first they’d be safer.
I’m thinking of the potential for projectile damage from these things.
Also they have to hurt more than a lego when stepped on barefoot, don’t they?
Finally, I have enough spare hardware rusting lurking in my basement to make a shitton of these.
While I think this thread has been pretty tight would it be too wrenching to go one more time around?
Can it go in the washer?
You might be getting carriaged away. But what the heck, socket to me!
What the hex the deal here?
You’ll have to ask Allen.
I tried but his jaws are locked tite.
he’s such a flat screw.
I’m tapped out.
You won’t mind if I toggle back and forth between this and another page?
In a previous life, I got a MA in Reading Education. I hadn’t dealt with teachers in a LOOOOONGG time & had forgotten how nutty they could be.
One of the teachers brought in a project for kindergarten students where she had a big ol’ bowl of alphabet soup noodles (tiny little things) and told us that she could keep her little charges busy for an hour or more looking for their names in the letters in the bowl…
I had to leave the class when I couldn’t stop laughing thinking of little cross-eyed six year olds with names like Christopher or Angelique or Lollapolooza hunting for their names and failing kindergarten because they couldn’t finish the damn project.
…and it still made more sense than these damn things!
And poor kids like Ann are bored are 5 min.
after^^ 5 min.
*goes back to bed*
If you really want your kid to have one of these couldn’t you make it yourself? Most people can write on bolts with a Sharpie. Actully if a kid is old enough to play with this he or she can ptobably make it themselves.
I don’t want my kid spinning anybody’s nuts.
no, that’s for when they’re older. say.. 18
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