Expandable dining room table
6 dining room chairs
Oh god, this is the town I grew up in.
I grew up just south of here. I was so excited to see a name I recognized… then I looked in the mirror and thought “Uxbridge? You mean this wasn’t taken in Oshawa?”
Oops… I thought this was the Ontario Uxbridge, not one in the States.
I see he’s put those frying pans to good use.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Hm, don’t remarks like these qualify as “body shaming”? Or does that only count if the subject is female?
Are we entirely certain the photographer is male?
True. It could easily be any of the hambeasts who downmodded my post.
Seriously, I can see the gravy dripping from your downturned thumbs.
So, just to be clear, “body shaming” is only okay when it’s done to men.
This tells us two things about certain women on Regretsy: They’re sexist pieces of human garbage, and they may provide a useful supply of lamp oil when the last of the whales is harpooned.
Good Lord what’s wrong with you? Are you the guy in the photo? Anyone who is publically selling something and includes a naked picture of themselves is opening themselves up to ridicule. It’s not body-shaming here, it’s more like asshole-shaming.
Actually, I agree that men shouldn’t be body-shamed either. But welcomerain makes a lot of nasty comments about women. Trolling
I totally agree with you, lettucego! NOBODY should be body shamed. And I would have never even commented, but this reflection reminded me of a man in my childhood neighborhood who would just stand at his front door stark naked — he wasn’t a naturist, or proclaiming his self acceptance, or did it by accident, he was just an exhibitionist and a creep.
As opposed to the many lipidinous female models for Regretsy items whose figures it is verboten to traduce.
Keep that rationalization hamster spinning!
Ahh, I remember welcomerain, the troll. My memory is shit for most other things, but I have an uncanny recall of trolls. I am a troll savant.
Don’t feed it, and it will move on.
Care to put your money where your mouth is on that one?
What’s wrong with me is apparently that I’m not a man-hating piece of shit. Hope that works out for you.
The man obviously needs more space in his Dining Room.
Let us all be grateful for that strategically placed picture frame. Also, on the plus side, the chairs are covered in plastic, so that’s one less thing to be horrified about.
Yeah I thought the last item on the list was cock for a second.
Yeah I think Crochet dropped the ball on that one. But that’s assuming this gentleman has at least one left.
oh god, I hope this isn’t Uxbridge MA!
sigh…just looked at the actual CL post. It IS Uxbridge MA…why am I not surprised.
Yeah, that place is kind of creepy. I spent a year there one weekend.
According to what chemistry says, alcohol is a solution.
Jesus jumping Christ on a cactus!!! STOP IT!
Sadly, I think Jesus broke up with Christ, so they are no longer jumping each other, near or far from cacti …
BRO = Bra Required Obviously?
Bitchtits Revealed Openly?
Boob Ribbing Opportunity? (not shown: ribs)
I just thought it meant “Beware: Rip Off”.
OR Beware: Ridiculed Often
Or Busted: Rotting Out.
Or Ba-zooms Readily Occupy
Bring Re-enforcements, Obviously.
Bring Ready Orifice?
Balls Regularly Out?
Beautifully Repainted Often?
I’m going to change my Facebook status to “Balls Regularly Out” until I get a job.
That should land you something, if not a job maybe a jockstrap wielding, sex partner?
If he thinks a BRO is worth $1100 he needs to get out more.
Or is it the “Manzier?” I love that episode!
His name is Robert Paulson.
I figured someone had already talked about it…
Also +1 on your username.
Here’s the apostrophe not allowed by the format: ‘
if only i could ask him to change his ways
alternately: “if you want to make the world, a better place, take a look at yourself, and put a shirt on”
I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change, yey
Na na na, na na na, na na na na oh ho
thumbs up to you, sir or madam TallandGassy
*Drops mic, then nose.*
Finally, the appropriate (close enough) situation to link to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXl-2hQPpbI
I want to see that.
The description says marble, but it’s clearly black lacquer with plenty of flesh tone accents.
Regretsy meets LuridDigs.
I have pals who would be into meeting this guy, based on the picture.
Thank God he’s not selling his sideboard.
And thank god he is selling stuff made of marble and not hard wood.
I don’t want a slab of anything, thanks.
A slab of beef isn’t doin’ it for ya? What if it’s shellacked in a black lacquer coating?
What a confusing picture. Where’s the clock? Is it behind the gross dude? The picture’s got more things NOT for sale in it than it does things FOR sale.
My issue with it has nothing to do with him being fat, actually. We’ve had a few of these types of craigslist ads on here, and I’m always curious as to what goes on in these households: Did he just wake up? Is he about to go to bed? If either of these are the case, why do you choose THAT time to take your craigslist picture? Do lots of people do this? Am I the weird one?
Odds are he didn’t ponder it that hard, and therefore didn’t think “oh wait, maybe I’ll be showing more than I mean to.”
Unless it IS one of those “yay! lookit me!” things …
I know people who get undressed as soon as they get home. I think most of them are smart enough to put on clothes before a picture of something reflective. Most of them.
I dunno – maybe I’m just not smart, but I once made a video of myself playing ‘Happy Birthday’ on the guitar, and uploaded it to YouTube before I realized I forgot to get dressed first… Luckily, the guitar was large enough that I didn’t need to re-record it.
Oh, yeah! I know what you mean! …what was the link to that video again?
Oh, I see how it is! A single thumbs up for my heartfelt admission of non-smartness, but twelve for the link request! Hmmmmph.
I only have thumbs for you.
Mr Bot became self-employed last summer and was quite proud of the fact that he went a full month without wearing pants or shoes.
In his defense he did wear a shirt, shorts, and flip flops when in public.
So you guys are a “robot family” of some sort?
Eek! I’ve been discovered. We are supposed to be living quietly among you until we find all of your weaknesses. Why else would I be here?
Thank God we had enough weaknesses to keep you busy for a while!
I’ll make it easy for you: my two weaknesses are Cabbage Patch dolls and black tar heroin.
You guys! Don’t tell the bots that TV’s need power to run or we’re doomed! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
So he was really committed to the craft of Donald-Ducking? I hear ya on that one! Pants are really annoying.
I seem to remember there being a picture of a coffee pot with a naked guy in it on eBay? And at that time there was talk of it being a fetish. So, yeah, there’s a whole group of people out there who TRY to get shots like this for stuff they sell. The mind boggles.
The guy did it on purpose…it was a thing on ebay for a while. They called it “reflection porn.” It’s exhibitionism. I think there’s probably a million things you could find on google about it…but I just ate, so I’m not gonna go there now.
It’s like “Where’s Waldo?”, only you DON’T want to find Waldo.
In this case, one would therefore want to avoid the Waldo Fatsoria Hotel …
that was inspired!
Apparently reflecto-exhibitionism is a thing. Once I was scrolling through ebay and ‘HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THAT REFLECTED IN THE KETTLE!” So count yourselves lucky he’s not selling something convex.
Yeah I read some article that said that this is almost like a game, to try and sneak in reflections like this
Then he failed. This wasn’t sneaky AT ALL.
I’ll give this a try as soon as I can find something to sell that’s suitably concave. VERY concave.
what does he want with my bro? i’m scared.
I was going to say he can so have my bro. Good luck with that shit.
I can see why he needs a new hutch. He’s got two of everything crammed in there.
Maybe he was confused and thought it was an ark?
What an awkward place to hang pots and pans.
You open that hutch, glass shatters and then you’ve got shards in your boobies.
Maybe that’s what deflated his?
Where else but the dining room do YOU hang pots and pans? You would need some sort of “cooking room”, and good luck finding one of those!
“Cooking room”? That’s crazy talk!
That’s like having a special room to pee in!
The Newport Mansions are about 10 minutes from my house, and I’ve seen “cooking rooms” and “peeing rooms” in those. Talk about living the good life, you know? Those Vanderbilts really had it made.
I always ask for a brief run-down on room functions when visiting such high-falutin’ types because there’s only one thing they hate more than you cooking in the peeing room.
The pee is allowed in the cooking room. It goes in the jelly jars and is labeled “Mountain Dew”. We covered this the other day. Do try to keep up.
I found out the hard way that a “pantry” ISN’T where you change your pants.
Indeed. Also “water closet”: not where gay water cowers in fear.
But the “powder room” is for coke snorting, right?
Usually. I mean, I’ve heard something to that effect…
At least the “living room” isn’t as scary and creepy as it sounds. You’d expect it to be at least a little more moist, though.
How about the “Rumpus Room”? All sex, all the time? That one IS moist.
Or crusty ….
I suppose it would also be called the “family room.” That’s where the families are made.
Does it always have to be “rump” and is every member of “us” involved? I’d hate to commit a “faux pas” or a “felony” or whatever the rich people call it.
At least they keep the “pus” in the hospital.
They show off the “master bath” but you never see the “slave bath”.
True. The slaves are never getting their Just Desserts.
The “foyer” is a tuffy to understand… is it foyer umbrellas or is it foyer coats?
Ha! Next you’ll be telling us rich people use cloth or paper or something to wipe their asses. Ridiculous! Leaves are good enough for me.
Hey, I grew up in Newport…now I live in Los Angeles. While in the Navy I made it as far away as Hawaii, but the other coast will have to do for now
There was a fancy-pants house on the market here with a wrapping room. I concluded that The Maid would really love that? If you are rich enough to have a wrapping room, you don’t wrap your own gifts.
I know that Jay-Z has a “rapping room”, but that’s probably different.
I want to know what kind of lifestyle requires all these different kinds of mushrooms I keep hearing about. Who has that much mush?
Old people with dentures… they have that much mush.
And the old lady in “goodnight, moon.” She is always telling the mush to hush…
Let’s say you grow up in an orphanage eating gruel. When you get older and wealthy, you still want gruel without the stigma attached to it, so you call it “mush”. Then, since you are wealthy, you can have a huge variety of mushes, and require “mushrooms” in which to keep them.
And then you call it “porridge” because wealthy people don’t like to use the words of the commoners… but they keep it in their mushrooms, because that’s what the civilized folks do.
You guys are full of shitake and I question your morels.
Zippy, that was amusing. You’re a fungi.
The doctor I work for has an in-law “sweet”in her fancy pants house. It would be amazing to have a whole room where your in-laws stay and suddenly become nice instead of the over opinionated passive aggressive jerks that they normally are.
I just stick them in the “room of judgement”, and let ‘em talk shit about everybody in there all night.
I like to put them in the “cone of shame”. The MIL only occasionally runs into the doorways, but the FIL can’t get up the stairs with it on… it is great fun. At last, the dogs get a chance to mock the humans.
Maybe the in-laws are better off in the mushroom.
It’s like the boobs follow you all around the floor.
Call me a picky shopper, but where the hell is the dining table?
It didn’t want its picture taken with that dude.
In the other pictures you can enjoy one small corner of it peeking out from under the tablecloth that definitely isn’t hiding anything. They’ve just always had it on there. Don’t worry!
I just want to be able to fully appreciate the marble color! I’m sure it’s completely pristine under the tablecloth. Oh yeah.
“Marble” or “Mar-able”?
It’s still in hiding after the whole “sex on the table” incident. There are somethings that just can’t be unseen… and man boobs and butt cheeks slamming all over the place is one of them.
I was picturing stacks of Penthouse magazines, next to the morning’s egg-stained breakfast plate, cigarette burns, empty beer cans and a box of Fiddle Faddle.
Oh, and used Kleenex.
It’s like you’ve been to my house. Except for the choice of porn.
What, you don’t like Fiddle Faddle?
then my dog would be sitting there, pulling the used Kleenex off the table and delicately dissecting them for her own horrifying experience, leaving them in shredded piles all around the house, reminding you of the shame you committed in the “sex room”. AKA Dinning Room.
You call it a “dinning room” because of the din you create while having sex in there?
yes. That and the “Wedding Present” room.
The one house where the cry “Morris! Din din!” inspires fear in the cat, rather than hunger.
whoops, dining room.
Yum, Fiddle Faddle. I’m turned on.
How much is that nudie in the window
The one with the waggly tail
How nuch is that booby in the window
I do hope that hutch is for sale.
I think I honestly ruptured my spleen when I got to “bitchtits”
If it’s an honest rupture, the body has ways of stitching that up.
Too legit, too legit to acquit!
“Marble colored”. Don’t people realize that marble isn’t a color?
On a side note, I have a plaid-colored chair for sale. Contact me for details (but don’t ask about the color, because I already told you it’s plaid-colored).
I have some stain colored furniture which is nowhere near as gross as it sounds.
This is so great – I see my redecorating project coming together right here! My dinning room will look great with an artful blend of marble, plaid and stain colors.
So you’re just going with the three primary colors? Good choice. You don’t want it to look too busy.
You could add something zebra-colored, but it would be skirting the fine line between “classy” and “I fuck on camera for a living”.
I believe it’s spelled “klassay” in this context.
And his name would be changed to Kandi.
That’s what we have leopard for.
The ceiling painted Butt-Cheek Beige® should pull it all together.
Marble is my second favorite color, My first choice is a tie between glitter and glow in the dark.
In high school, my favorite color was Blacklight Poster. It really complimented all the weed and bongs in my room well.
Glitter is too subtle for me. I like the richness of sequin color.
Wait a second…
THAT’S NOT NARNIA!
It is, however “The Lyin’, the Bitchtits and the Wardrobe Malfunction.”
Maybe just a touch of zebra color on the bedsheet tablecloth?
Oops amateur mistake – meant to reply to Matt Johnson above!
You rang, m’lady/m’man?
I’m guessing you’re probably female, but I suppose either gender could have a muffin top, technically.
My husband has determined that I’m probably female.
Investigations are continuing.
Did he determine that before, or after you got married?
Before, but you never know when an evil cross-dressing imposter might try to take my place, so hubby rechecks regularly!
Tell him to keep it up and that we’re all pulling for you guys!
It’s probably cheaper to buy it brand new. Given the size of those jugs, the shipping rates for that hutch must be astronomical.
What about “If it fits, it ships”? Couldn’t you cram him in with a stick of some kind?
What am I thinking- I don’t have the extra money to buy a Cramming Stick!
How about about a stick of butter and/or instructional CD recorded by an overzealous lamaze coach?
Or a “Five-Minute Yoga” CD to quickly get him limber enough to get in the box?
Throw a Twinkie in the box and tell him it’s the last one.
Oh, That’s funny, cuz it’s true.
How far has Meatloaf fallen?
“Paradise by the Sideboard Light”.
Not so far that he can’t get up, apparently.
I love how it looks like the head in the picture belongs to ol’ bitch tits!
I’m trying to figure out of that’s Kristin Stewart, Adele, or Kate Pierson of the B-52s.
I’m leaning toward the third option – part B-52, part 44-D.
AH, I remember where I saw this guy.. He sold a teapot on Ebay years ago with a reflection of him naked in it.. I see he hasn’t changed much.
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