176

Man in the Mirror

Includes:
Expandable dining room table
6 dining room chairs
Hutch
Clock
Bitch tits

176 comments on Man in the Mirror

  1. CardMe
    November 16, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Oh god, this is the town I grew up in.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

    • Unfortunate Incident
      November 16, 2012 at 10:07 am

      Thumb up Thumb down +65

    • Kathleen in Canada
      November 16, 2012 at 6:40 pm

      I grew up just south of here. I was so excited to see a name I recognized… then I looked in the mirror and thought “Uxbridge? You mean this wasn’t taken in Oshawa?”

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  2. Madam Morgana
    November 16, 2012 at 10:04 am

    I see he’s put those frying pans to good use.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • welcomerain
      November 16, 2012 at 8:18 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -24

      • Mapleleaves
        November 16, 2012 at 8:36 pm

        Are we entirely certain the photographer is male?

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • welcomerain
          November 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -54

          • welcomerain
            November 16, 2012 at 10:26 pm

            Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

            Thumb up Thumb down -71

            • Dear Tuffy
              November 17, 2012 at 8:14 am

              Good Lord what’s wrong with you? Are you the guy in the photo? Anyone who is publically selling something and includes a naked picture of themselves is opening themselves up to ridicule. It’s not body-shaming here, it’s more like asshole-shaming.

              Thumb up Thumb down +33

              • lettucego
                November 17, 2012 at 9:09 am

                Actually, I agree that men shouldn’t be body-shamed either. But welcomerain makes a lot of nasty comments about women. Trolling

                Thumb up Thumb down +27

                • Dear Tuffy
                  November 17, 2012 at 12:02 pm

                  I totally agree with you, lettucego! NOBODY should be body shamed. And I would have never even commented, but this reflection reminded me of a man in my childhood neighborhood who would just stand at his front door stark naked — he wasn’t a naturist, or proclaiming his self acceptance, or did it by accident, he was just an exhibitionist and a creep.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +13

                  • welcomerain
                    November 17, 2012 at 9:21 pm

                    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

                    Thumb up Thumb down -29

              • Postmenopaws ™
                November 17, 2012 at 6:01 pm

                Ahh, I remember welcomerain, the troll. My memory is shit for most other things, but I have an uncanny recall of trolls. I am a troll savant.

                Don’t feed it, and it will move on.

                Thumb up Thumb down +15

                • welcomerain
                  November 17, 2012 at 9:19 pm

                  Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

                  Thumb up Thumb down -27

              • welcomerain
                November 17, 2012 at 9:18 pm

                Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

                Thumb up Thumb down -29

  3. thecreightonberyl
    November 16, 2012 at 10:05 am

    The man obviously needs more space in his Dining Room.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  4. MissPlace
    November 16, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Let us all be grateful for that strategically placed picture frame. Also, on the plus side, the chairs are covered in plastic, so that’s one less thing to be horrified about.

    Thumb up Thumb down +94

  5. lochnessa
    November 16, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Yeah I thought the last item on the list was cock for a second.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • Village Twittiott
      November 16, 2012 at 11:59 am

      Yeah I think Crochet dropped the ball on that one. But that’s assuming this gentleman has at least one left.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  6. Terezi
    November 16, 2012 at 10:09 am

    oh god, I hope this isn’t Uxbridge MA!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Terezi
      November 16, 2012 at 10:11 am

      sigh…just looked at the actual CL post. It IS Uxbridge MA…why am I not surprised.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • Matt Johnson
        November 16, 2012 at 10:21 am

        Yeah, that place is kind of creepy. I spent a year there one weekend.

        Thumb up Thumb down +82

      • Unfortunate Incident
        November 16, 2012 at 10:30 am

        According to what chemistry says, alcohol is a solution.

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

  7. kat-grrl
    November 16, 2012 at 10:09 am

    Jesus jumping Christ on a cactus!!! STOP IT!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • MitziBell
      November 16, 2012 at 10:29 am

      Sadly, I think Jesus broke up with Christ, so they are no longer jumping each other, near or far from cacti …

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

  8. Angel Laveaux
    November 16, 2012 at 10:12 am

    BRO = Bra Required Obviously?

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

    • Plembot
      November 16, 2012 at 10:18 am

      Bitchtits Revealed Openly?

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

      • Zippy
        November 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

        Boob Ribbing Opportunity? (not shown: ribs)

        Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 16, 2012 at 11:56 am

      Bring Ready Orifice?
      Balls Regularly Out?
      Beautifully Repainted Often?

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Zippy
        November 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

        I’m going to change my Facebook status to “Balls Regularly Out” until I get a job.

        Thumb up Thumb down +38

        • lovinglymadewithspite
          November 16, 2012 at 12:17 pm

          That should land you something, if not a job maybe a jockstrap wielding, sex partner?

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • crispyduck13
      November 16, 2012 at 12:18 pm

      If he thinks a BRO is worth $1100 he needs to get out more.

      Thumb up Thumb down +19

      • lovinglymadewithspite
        November 16, 2012 at 12:23 pm

        Or is it the “Manzier?” I love that episode!

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  9. Marla Singers Laundry
    November 16, 2012 at 10:12 am

    His name is Robert Paulson.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

    • aroseisarose
      November 16, 2012 at 10:49 am

      I figured someone had already talked about it…

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • aroseisarose
      November 16, 2012 at 10:50 am

      Also +1 on your username.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Marla Singers Laundry
        November 16, 2012 at 10:59 am

        Thanks!
        Here’s the apostrophe not allowed by the format: ‘

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

  10. saply
    November 16, 2012 at 10:14 am

    if only i could ask him to change his ways

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • saply
      November 16, 2012 at 10:16 am

      alternately: “if you want to make the world, a better place, take a look at yourself, and put a shirt on”

      Thumb up Thumb down +39

  11. TallandGassy
    November 16, 2012 at 10:18 am

    I’m starting with the man in the mirror
    I’m asking him to change his ways
    And no message could have been any clearer
    If you wanna make the world a better place
    Take a look at yourself and then make a change, yey
    Na na na, na na na, na na na na oh ho

    -Michael Jackson

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • saply
      November 16, 2012 at 10:22 am

      thumbs up to you, sir or madam TallandGassy

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Zippy
      November 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

      *Drops mic, then nose.*

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  12. telegramsamo
    November 16, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Finally, the appropriate (close enough) situation to link to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXl-2hQPpbI

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • angelbuttons77
      November 17, 2012 at 5:52 am

      I want to see that.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  13. curious3d
    November 16, 2012 at 10:22 am

    The description says marble, but it’s clearly black lacquer with plenty of flesh tone accents.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  14. MitziBell
    November 16, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Regretsy meets LuridDigs.

    I have pals who would be into meeting this guy, based on the picture. ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • LeeLooDallas
      November 16, 2012 at 11:12 am

      Thank God he’s not selling his sideboard.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • lovinglymadewithspite
        November 16, 2012 at 11:50 am

        And thank god he is selling stuff made of marble and not hard wood.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Zippy
          November 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm

          I don’t want a slab of anything, thanks.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • lovinglymadewithspite
            November 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

            A slab of beef isn’t doin’ it for ya? What if it’s shellacked in a black lacquer coating?

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

  15. Matt Johnson
    November 16, 2012 at 10:24 am

    What a confusing picture. Where’s the clock? Is it behind the gross dude? The picture’s got more things NOT for sale in it than it does things FOR sale.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • Matt Johnson
      November 16, 2012 at 10:41 am

      My issue with it has nothing to do with him being fat, actually. We’ve had a few of these types of craigslist ads on here, and I’m always curious as to what goes on in these households: Did he just wake up? Is he about to go to bed? If either of these are the case, why do you choose THAT time to take your craigslist picture? Do lots of people do this? Am I the weird one?

      Thumb up Thumb down +52

      • MitziBell
        November 16, 2012 at 10:44 am

        Odds are he didn’t ponder it that hard, and therefore didn’t think “oh wait, maybe I’ll be showing more than I mean to.”

        Unless it IS one of those “yay! lookit me!” things …

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • silvercat
        November 16, 2012 at 10:45 am

        I know people who get undressed as soon as they get home. I think most of them are smart enough to put on clothes before a picture of something reflective. Most of them.

        Thumb up Thumb down +19

        • Khyri
          November 16, 2012 at 11:05 am

          I dunno – maybe I’m just not smart, but I once made a video of myself playing ‘Happy Birthday’ on the guitar, and uploaded it to YouTube before I realized I forgot to get dressed first… Luckily, the guitar was large enough that I didn’t need to re-record it. ;)

          Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • Plembot
        November 16, 2012 at 10:58 am

        Mr Bot became self-employed last summer and was quite proud of the fact that he went a full month without wearing pants or shoes.
        In his defense he did wear a shirt, shorts, and flip flops when in public.

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

        • Matt Johnson
          November 16, 2012 at 11:17 am

          So you guys are a “robot family” of some sort?

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Plembot
            November 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

            Eek! I’ve been discovered. We are supposed to be living quietly among you until we find all of your weaknesses. Why else would I be here?

            Thumb up Thumb down +13

            • lettucego
              November 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm

              Thank God we had enough weaknesses to keep you busy for a while!

              Thumb up Thumb down +6

            • Matt Johnson
              November 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm

              I’ll make it easy for you: my two weaknesses are Cabbage Patch dolls and black tar heroin.

              Thumb up Thumb down +25

            • Zippy
              November 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm

              You guys! Don’t tell the bots that TV’s need power to run or we’re doomed! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

              Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • lovinglymadewithspite
          November 16, 2012 at 11:25 am

          So he was really committed to the craft of Donald-Ducking? I hear ya on that one! Pants are really annoying.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • legotech
        November 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

        I seem to remember there being a picture of a coffee pot with a naked guy in it on eBay? And at that time there was talk of it being a fetish. So, yeah, there’s a whole group of people out there who TRY to get shots like this for stuff they sell. The mind boggles.

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

      • ahughes798
        November 17, 2012 at 11:59 am

        The guy did it on purpose…it was a thing on ebay for a while. They called it “reflection porn.” It’s exhibitionism. I think there’s probably a million things you could find on google about it…but I just ate, so I’m not gonna go there now.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  16. Matt Johnson
    November 16, 2012 at 10:26 am

    It’s like “Where’s Waldo?”, only you DON’T want to find Waldo.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  17. lizzy1
    November 16, 2012 at 10:39 am

    Apparently reflecto-exhibitionism is a thing. Once I was scrolling through ebay and ‘HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THAT REFLECTED IN THE KETTLE!” So count yourselves lucky he’s not selling something convex.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

    • Corvidae
      November 16, 2012 at 10:40 am

      Yeah I read some article that said that this is almost like a game, to try and sneak in reflections like this

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • barky
      November 17, 2012 at 12:04 am

      I’ll give this a try as soon as I can find something to sell that’s suitably concave. VERY concave.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  18. nerdery
    November 16, 2012 at 10:43 am

    what does he want with my bro? i’m scared.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 16, 2012 at 11:26 am

      I was going to say he can so have my bro. Good luck with that shit.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  19. Matt Johnson
    November 16, 2012 at 10:52 am

    I can see why he needs a new hutch. He’s got two of everything crammed in there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

      Maybe he was confused and thought it was an ark?

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  20. LeeLooDallas
    November 16, 2012 at 10:57 am

    What an awkward place to hang pots and pans.
    You open that hutch, glass shatters and then you’ve got shards in your boobies.
    Maybe that’s what deflated his?

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • Matt Johnson
      November 16, 2012 at 11:02 am

      Where else but the dining room do YOU hang pots and pans? You would need some sort of “cooking room”, and good luck finding one of those!

      Thumb up Thumb down +40

      • MitziBell
        November 16, 2012 at 11:11 am

        “Cooking room”? That’s crazy talk!

        Thumb up Thumb down +18

        • LeeLooDallas
          November 16, 2012 at 11:13 am

          That’s like having a special room to pee in!
          Rich people…

          Thumb up Thumb down +28

          • Matt Johnson
            November 16, 2012 at 11:16 am

            The Newport Mansions are about 10 minutes from my house, and I’ve seen “cooking rooms” and “peeing rooms” in those. Talk about living the good life, you know? Those Vanderbilts really had it made.

            Thumb up Thumb down +19

            • Zippy
              November 16, 2012 at 11:29 am

              I always ask for a brief run-down on room functions when visiting such high-falutin’ types because there’s only one thing they hate more than you cooking in the peeing room.

              Thumb up Thumb down +29

              • MitziBell
                November 16, 2012 at 11:32 am

                The pee is allowed in the cooking room. It goes in the jelly jars and is labeled “Mountain Dew”. We covered this the other day. Do try to keep up.

                Thumb up Thumb down +37

              • Matt Johnson
                November 16, 2012 at 11:32 am

                I found out the hard way that a “pantry” ISN’T where you change your pants.

                Thumb up Thumb down +35

                • MitziBell
                  November 16, 2012 at 11:40 am

                  Indeed. Also “water closet”: not where gay water cowers in fear.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +25

                  • lovinglymadewithspite
                    November 16, 2012 at 11:45 am

                    But the “powder room” is for coke snorting, right?

                    Thumb up Thumb down +29

                    • Matt Johnson
                      November 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

                      Usually. I mean, I’ve heard something to that effect…

                      Thumb up Thumb down +14

                  • Zippy
                    November 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

                    At least the “living room” isn’t as scary and creepy as it sounds. You’d expect it to be at least a little more moist, though.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +16

                  • lovinglymadewithspite
                    November 16, 2012 at 12:02 pm

                    How about the “Rumpus Room”? All sex, all the time? That one IS moist.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +14

                    • MitziBell
                      November 16, 2012 at 12:04 pm

                      Or crusty ….

                      Thumb up Thumb down +8

                    • lovinglymadewithspite
                      November 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

                      I suppose it would also be called the “family room.” That’s where the families are made.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +11

                    • Zippy
                      November 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm

                      Does it always have to be “rump” and is every member of “us” involved? I’d hate to commit a “faux pas” or a “felony” or whatever the rich people call it.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +9

                    • lovinglymadewithspite
                      November 16, 2012 at 12:41 pm

                      At least they keep the “pus” in the hospital.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +2

              • muffin top
                November 16, 2012 at 12:26 pm

                They show off the “master bath” but you never see the “slave bath”.

                Thumb up Thumb down +26

                • lovinglymadewithspite
                  November 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

                  True. The slaves are never getting their Just Desserts.

                  The “foyer” is a tuffy to understand… is it foyer umbrellas or is it foyer coats?

                  Thumb up Thumb down +19

            • lettucego
              November 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

              Ha! Next you’ll be telling us rich people use cloth or paper or something to wipe their asses. Ridiculous! Leaves are good enough for me.

              Thumb up Thumb down +5

            • legotech
              November 16, 2012 at 2:39 pm

              Hey, I grew up in Newport…now I live in Los Angeles. While in the Navy I made it as far away as Hawaii, but the other coast will have to do for now :)

              Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • lovinglymadewithspite
            November 16, 2012 at 11:42 am

            There was a fancy-pants house on the market here with a wrapping room. I concluded that The Maid would really love that? If you are rich enough to have a wrapping room, you don’t wrap your own gifts.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

            • Matt Johnson
              November 16, 2012 at 11:46 am

              I know that Jay-Z has a “rapping room”, but that’s probably different.

              Thumb up Thumb down +12

              • Zippy
                November 16, 2012 at 12:01 pm

                I want to know what kind of lifestyle requires all these different kinds of mushrooms I keep hearing about. Who has that much mush?

                Thumb up Thumb down +8

                • lovinglymadewithspite
                  November 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm

                  Old people with dentures… they have that much mush.
                  And the old lady in “goodnight, moon.” She is always telling the mush to hush…

                  Thumb up Thumb down +9

                • Matt Johnson
                  November 16, 2012 at 12:11 pm

                  Let’s say you grow up in an orphanage eating gruel. When you get older and wealthy, you still want gruel without the stigma attached to it, so you call it “mush”. Then, since you are wealthy, you can have a huge variety of mushes, and require “mushrooms” in which to keep them.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +8

                  • lovinglymadewithspite
                    November 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

                    And then you call it “porridge” because wealthy people don’t like to use the words of the commoners… but they keep it in their mushrooms, because that’s what the civilized folks do.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +4

                    • Zippy
                      November 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm

                      You guys are full of shitake and I question your morels.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +30

                    • yummycake
                      November 17, 2012 at 7:04 am

                      Zippy, that was amusing. You’re a fungi.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +5

              • Elysapeth
                November 16, 2012 at 1:30 pm

                The doctor I work for has an in-law “sweet”in her fancy pants house. It would be amazing to have a whole room where your in-laws stay and suddenly become nice instead of the over opinionated passive aggressive jerks that they normally are.

                Thumb up Thumb down +17

                • Matt Johnson
                  November 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

                  I just stick them in the “room of judgement”, and let ‘em talk shit about everybody in there all night.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +5

                  • lovinglymadewithspite
                    November 16, 2012 at 3:01 pm

                    I like to put them in the “cone of shame”. The MIL only occasionally runs into the doorways, but the FIL can’t get up the stairs with it on… it is great fun. At last, the dogs get a chance to mock the humans.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +9

                • Zippy
                  November 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

                  Maybe the in-laws are better off in the mushroom.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +2

  21. Matt Johnson
    November 16, 2012 at 11:07 am

    It’s like the boobs follow you all around the floor.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  22. muffin top
    November 16, 2012 at 11:16 am

    Call me a picky shopper, but where the hell is the dining table?

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Matt Johnson
      November 16, 2012 at 11:30 am

      It didn’t want its picture taken with that dude.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Zippy
      November 16, 2012 at 11:31 am

      In the other pictures you can enjoy one small corner of it peeking out from under the tablecloth that definitely isn’t hiding anything. They’ve just always had it on there. Don’t worry!

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • muffin top
        November 16, 2012 at 12:13 pm

        I just want to be able to fully appreciate the marble color! I’m sure it’s completely pristine under the tablecloth. Oh yeah.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • Zippy
          November 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

          “Marble” or “Mar-able”?

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      November 16, 2012 at 11:44 am

      It’s still in hiding after the whole “sex on the table” incident. There are somethings that just can’t be unseen… and man boobs and butt cheeks slamming all over the place is one of them.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • muffin top
        November 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

        I was picturing stacks of Penthouse magazines, next to the morning’s egg-stained breakfast plate, cigarette burns, empty beer cans and a box of Fiddle Faddle.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • muffin top
          November 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

          Oh, and used Kleenex.

          Thumb up Thumb down +3

          • MitziBell
            November 16, 2012 at 12:01 pm

            It’s like you’ve been to my house. Except for the choice of porn. ;-)

            Thumb up Thumb down +8

            • Mapleleaves
              November 16, 2012 at 8:43 pm

              What, you don’t like Fiddle Faddle?

              Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • lovinglymadewithspite
            November 16, 2012 at 12:06 pm

            then my dog would be sitting there, pulling the used Kleenex off the table and delicately dissecting them for her own horrifying experience, leaving them in shredded piles all around the house, reminding you of the shame you committed in the “sex room”. AKA Dinning Room.

            Thumb up Thumb down +8

            • Matt Johnson
              November 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm

              You call it a “dinning room” because of the din you create while having sex in there?

              Thumb up Thumb down +8

              • lovinglymadewithspite
                November 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm

                yes. That and the “Wedding Present” room.

                Thumb up Thumb down +2

              • MitziBell
                November 16, 2012 at 12:11 pm

                The one house where the cry “Morris! Din din!” inspires fear in the cat, rather than hunger.

                Thumb up Thumb down +5

            • lovinglymadewithspite
              November 16, 2012 at 12:19 pm

              whoops, dining room.

              Thumb up Thumb down +1

          • lovinglymadewithspite
            November 16, 2012 at 12:11 pm

            Yum, Fiddle Faddle. I’m turned on.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

  23. Glasgow
    November 16, 2012 at 11:17 am

    How much is that nudie in the window
    The one with the waggly tail
    How nuch is that booby in the window
    I do hope that hutch is for sale.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  24. G Val is Quiet Serious
    November 16, 2012 at 11:23 am

    I think I honestly ruptured my spleen when I got to “bitchtits”

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • MitziBell
      November 16, 2012 at 11:30 am

      If it’s an honest rupture, the body has ways of stitching that up.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • Zippy
        November 16, 2012 at 12:05 pm

        Too legit, too legit to acquit!

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • lovinglymadewithspite
          November 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm

          Hey, HEY!!

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

  25. Matt Johnson
    November 16, 2012 at 11:44 am

    “Marble colored”. Don’t people realize that marble isn’t a color?

    On a side note, I have a plaid-colored chair for sale. Contact me for details (but don’t ask about the color, because I already told you it’s plaid-colored).

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Zippy
      November 16, 2012 at 12:26 pm

      I have some stain colored furniture which is nowhere near as gross as it sounds.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • muffin top
        November 16, 2012 at 12:46 pm

        This is so great – I see my redecorating project coming together right here! My dinning room will look great with an artful blend of marble, plaid and stain colors.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Matt Johnson
          November 16, 2012 at 12:52 pm

          So you’re just going with the three primary colors? Good choice. You don’t want it to look too busy.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • Matt Johnson
            November 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm

            You could add something zebra-colored, but it would be skirting the fine line between “classy” and “I fuck on camera for a living”.

            Thumb up Thumb down +17

            • lettucego
              November 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm

              I believe it’s spelled “klassay” in this context.

              Thumb up Thumb down +6

              • lovinglymadewithspite
                November 16, 2012 at 3:02 pm

                And his name would be changed to Kandi.

                Thumb up Thumb down +1

            • barky
              November 17, 2012 at 12:11 am

              That’s what we have leopard for.

              Thumb up Thumb down +3

        • Postmenopaws ™
          November 17, 2012 at 6:23 pm

          The ceiling painted Butt-Cheek Beige® should pull it all together.

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • Elysapeth
      November 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

      Marble is my second favorite color, My first choice is a tie between glitter and glow in the dark.

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Matt Johnson
        November 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

        In high school, my favorite color was Blacklight Poster. It really complimented all the weed and bongs in my room well.

        Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • muffin top
        November 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

        Glitter is too subtle for me. I like the richness of sequin color.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  26. lemon_bombs
    November 16, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Wait a second…
    THAT’S NOT NARNIA!

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • Zippy
      November 16, 2012 at 12:40 pm

      It is, however “The Lyin’, the Bitchtits and the Wardrobe Malfunction.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +44

  27. muffin top
    November 16, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Maybe just a touch of zebra color on the bedsheet tablecloth?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • muffin top
      November 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm

      Oops amateur mistake – meant to reply to Matt Johnson above!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • Matt Johnson
        November 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

        You rang, m’lady/m’man?

        I’m guessing you’re probably female, but I suppose either gender could have a muffin top, technically.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • muffin top
          November 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm

          My husband has determined that I’m probably female.

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

          • muffin top
            November 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

            Investigations are continuing.

            Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • Matt Johnson
            November 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

            Did he determine that before, or after you got married?

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

            • muffin top
              November 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

              Before, but you never know when an evil cross-dressing imposter might try to take my place, so hubby rechecks regularly!

              Thumb up Thumb down +6

              • Zippy
                November 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

                Tell him to keep it up and that we’re all pulling for you guys!

                Thumb up Thumb down +12

  28. bschooled
    November 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    It’s probably cheaper to buy it brand new. Given the size of those jugs, the shipping rates for that hutch must be astronomical.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • Matt Johnson
      November 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm

      What about “If it fits, it ships”? Couldn’t you cram him in with a stick of some kind?

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • Matt Johnson
        November 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

        What am I thinking- I don’t have the extra money to buy a Cramming Stick!

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • bschooled
          November 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm

          How about about a stick of butter and/or instructional CD recorded by an overzealous lamaze coach?

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

          • Matt Johnson
            November 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

            Or a “Five-Minute Yoga” CD to quickly get him limber enough to get in the box?

            Thumb up Thumb down +3

            • Zippy
              November 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

              Throw a Twinkie in the box and tell him it’s the last one.

              Thumb up Thumb down +11

              • lovinglymadewithspite
                November 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

                Oh, That’s funny, cuz it’s true. :(

                Thumb up Thumb down +9

  29. Holytape
    November 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    How far has Meatloaf fallen?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Matt Johnson
      November 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      “Paradise by the Sideboard Light”.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Postmenopaws ™
      November 17, 2012 at 6:25 pm

      Not so far that he can’t get up, apparently.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  30. mingamonga
    November 16, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    I love how it looks like the head in the picture belongs to ol’ bitch tits!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Mapleleaves
      November 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -3

  31. docleather
    November 17, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    AH, I remember where I saw this guy.. He sold a teapot on Ebay years ago with a reflection of him naked in it.. I see he hasn’t changed much.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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