At first I thought this was urine! Then I saw it was Mountain Dew, and I was really grossed out.
Pair this with deep fried twinkies and we have a winner here.
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I think you got downmodded by the people who were worried that you grabbed the picture on the left from their photo album.
TEAM FORTRESS REFERENCE FTW
It’s the perfect pick-me-up for the methhead on the go!
It will rot your teeth twice as fast to get you that traditional meth-mouth look!
Three times as fast if you order it with the Honey Boo Boo upgrade.
Does that come with glittering flecks of pixie stick encased in it?
Hi, Etsy seller? Can I get this in ‘Purple Drank’ flavor?
Do the Dew FINE! don’t make it into jelly unless you want people to know you eat doo
Actually if it was Mountain Dew Pitch Black flavor I might have to buy some…that stuff is delicious and addicting and the Slurpee version was even better. And I don’t even like Mountain Dew.
They should rename it Shrek jelly.
If you’re going to sample some of this YOU’RE IN for a big surprise.
I see what you did there.
Oh piss off.
Why can’t wee be friends?
Wee-lax and share some pee-pee jelly.
Urine to Mountain Dew way too much. It’s a piss-poor excuse for jelly.
You guys are so great with the puns! You’re #1 in my book.
I have had Mountain Dew jelly. It is as terrible of an idea as it sounds. It lingered in my fridge for months before I just threw it out. My friend did not have a satisfactory explanation for why she made it.
I love how the seller is uncertain whether it’s jam or jelly in the first place.
By definition, a jam retains the fruit pulp. A jelly has had the fruit pulp strained out. So I guess it’s really neither…Unless you count corn as a fruit?
Hey, if Congress can deem pizza a vegetable, we should be able to call corn a fruit… seems fair.
The drought this summer really obliterated my pizza crop. They all stopped growing at “thin-crust”. My sales in New York were high, however, but in Chicago my sales were zero.
This is going to drive up prices for lower-quality pizza across the country in some kind of Domino’s effect.
Zippy, would you have my babies?
Well, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start trying to grow that pie higher!
Put food on your family!
I thought the definition had something to do with one or the other not shaking “like that”.
Could any explanation really be satisfactory for that?
I thought “I was high” was pretty well explained by the whole concept.
Oh, I was seriously thinking of ordering this. Thanks for the review Otherwise… who knows what could have happen? I REALLY love Mountain Dew.
Just needs a little bit of tabasco for that kidney-stone/undiagnosed internal bleeding look …
Someone raided David Bowie’s fridge.
I guess some of you don’t know about Bowie’s drug addled urine collecting obsession in the 70′s.
Well that knocks him down a couple steps in my rankings. But it still leaves him considerably higher rated than Gary Glitter.
Throw in the dead fish from yesterday, and I’m in!
Also in their shop: http://www.etsy.com/listing/97754451/ice-blue-raspberry-lemonade-kool-aid
The seller should embrace the obvious and call these “Crimes Against Nature Preserves.”
Really? A peanut butter and koolaid sandwich? Although it would have gone over well in Jonestown.
That blue jelly looks like it was made from anti -freeze.
Off topic, but Diet Mt. Dew and any flavor of blue Kool-Aid packet will also be a dead ringer for anti freeze, though much, much tastier. And vodka as desired.
I think the cocktail I invented would go very well with this. It’s called a Doctor Zhivago and it’s made with Dr Pepper and Vodka.
…and Mr. Pibb and tranya is called a Mister Spock.
PS – I can’t let a rare Dr. Pepper reference go without mentioning the following off-topic joke:
-Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
-Because his wife died.
awwwwwww…thumbs down or thumbs up for being thumbs down?
Thumbs up, I say.
Off-topic and off-color! You just can’t beat that combination!
What’s gray and comes in quarts? Ah hell, I’ll let someone else answer this one.
We drank that a lot in high school. I think we called it The Reset for some reason.
Nevermind, that was Dr. Pepper and 151. It tasted kind of like nothing.
And you didn’t call it “Dr. Zhivodka”?
I bet they did after the first couple. Or at least “Doctuh Zzzzhvuhduhkuhguh… *bluuuuuurge*!”
I couldn’t even get through one. It was completely vile. Like that jam/jelly
1987 – My college roommate and I discovered a twist on the fuzzy navel – orange soda & peach vodka – YUM!
peach schnapps – not vodka. *doh!*
And yet you still got an MBA? Way to overcome temptation!
Well, um, er, ehm. This *was* at my first starter school. The one I kinda, well, flunked out of. I didn’t even KNOW it was possible to have a 0.4 GPA!
Kinda cleaned up after that. BUT I’m astounded that, with that MBA, I never realized the potential market for soda flavored jelly.
How many starter schools did you go to?!
My roommates and I invented that in college in 1976. We were moving and that is all we had in the house. We also called it Dr. Zhivago.
The idea of buying preserves from unlicenced/unregulated kitchens fills me with something. Probably horror.
only one organism, c.difficile. Explosive consequences there.
Is it a hospital kitchen?
I might have more confidence if the seller actually specified the canning method used. That should be required information, because there actually are people out there who still think that the inversion method is sufficient.
From Honey boo boo’s wish list for Santa.
So you’re saying I can have my munchies AND my Mountain Dew in one!?
I’m gonna use that recipe, add vodka, and make jello shots so I can achieve the perfect sugar-caffeine-alcohol-horse hoof delivery system and can finally stop cooking up meth.
I think I actually had something like that in college…I think. That night is blurry. I woke up on someone’s kitchen floor.
It’s a slippery slope. It’s only a matter of time before someone figures out a way to sell Jello shots on Etsy.
And there will be hair in them.
And why not? I’m sure it can be marketed as “natural” and “upcycled” and maybe even “homeopathic” if done right.
Add a gear to the side of the bottle and it can be “steampunk” too.
When they have powdered vodka or grain alcohol, imagine the mixes that could be sold…
Off to the laboratory!
Hmm…methinks it’s time to get to the kitchen to figure this out. I can always use the hair my roommate’s girlfriend leaves in the shower drain, right?
That was you???? I ultimately found all your clothes stuffed up a gutter pipe, with last years unfound Easter eggs.
So that’s where those robin’s eggs went! I was going to give them names, raise them, kill them, and sell them in jars on etsy. I was considering using the blood for painting as well.
Ah, the old where does jello come from issue. Almost as fabulous as the old “where does collagen come from?” scare that flared in Ann Landers years ago …
What if I have my own “Jello” recipe that takes advantage of my proximity to the White Castle production facilities?
Old fashioned jars of home made goodness! Just like the Mountain Dew jam our forefathers made in pioneer times!
They even reproduced the complex chemical compounds the early settler-chemists used!
I still have fond memories of “Little Lab on the Prairie”. But why couldn’t Mary have worn safety goggles on that sad day?
I always loved reading about the bitter feud between Hatfield Laboratory and The McCoy Laboratory.
“Ma – fire up the centrifuger!” We got us a feller from GlaxoSmithKline a’commin’ an’ we cain’t lose another contract ta them durn Hatfields!”
- “Dr” McCoy, just afore he run off to space with them Fed’ration types.
Mary had a little lab, little lab, little lab…
I only want Mt Dew Jam from the Trappist monks that live in the Ozarks.
Warning: Reading this website is the equivalent of doing 50 sit-ups, you will laugh so hard. Did I say “Warning”? I meant “Bonus!”
Oh my Goddess, that article was a thing of beauty…sort of a foodie’s Regretsy.
There’s a song my grandmother (whose own grandmother was a highly successful bootlegger) taught me. “My brother Bill had a still on the hill / that ran off a gallon or two / The birds in the sky got so drunk they couldn’t fly / from smelling that good ol’ Mountain Dew!”
You can also get homemade copyright infringement just like grandma used to make.
Every year I make homemade marshmallows as holiday treats. I actually make some pretty good Mountain Dew marshmallows by boiling the water out of the soda to get to the syrup. It definitely looks like pee by the time you get two liters down to a cup of syrup. (But it does make a pretty good marshmallow once it’s diluted with a cup and a half of sugar)
But Red Bull – OMG. Boil it down and in twenty minutes it looks and smells exactly like horse piss. (I did not make marshmallows with that.)
WHY DO WE PLAY GOD? SOME THINGS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE!
Mountain Dew marshmallows are totally meant to be.
I thumbed you up for sticking with your convictions but you are destroying the fabric of our civilization.
OH WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE
Man, I’m still laughing about that, days later. Something about someone named “skittles” talkin’ tough really had me dying.
I bet cherry 7up would make great marshmallows
*fabric unravels further*
I make jam with fruit. Where do I belong? I don’t know any more.
Seriously! I have blueberry, blackberry, black raspberry, red raspberry and sour cherry jam. (My family likes jam) But I never knew one could solidify and water bath can SODA!
Seriously, where did this trend of cooking with soda come from? I’ve seen like 3 Mountain Dew recipes in the past couple of weeks.
Oh my god I think I’d get diabetes in five minutes if somebody made those. Also, rushgirl2112, I love your username
Oooh, I bet you’re right. I might try that too this year.
Finally, the second-best-kept secret of Cousinhump, West Virginia is available to the buying public!
Can the first-best-kept secret stay that way?
It’ll stay a secret. They incest. I mean insist.
I resemble that remark! You better apologize or my uncle-husband gonna come beat you up.
Road trip tip: Next time you’re in West Virginia, make sure to catch the “Uncle-Father and the Cousin-Brothers” bluegrass band. Amazing how fast they play with so many extra fingers!
Excellent! I’m plastering my Prius with Obama/Biden bumper stickers in preparation as we speak.
Smart move! Obama and Biden are EXTRA popular down there, so you’ll blend in well.
Yay, jellied Slurm!
It’s highly addictive! (ride the walrus!!)
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought ‘Slurm’ when they saw this.
I, for one, am delighted that Mountain Dew now has that “stick to your ribs” quality I so love in a caffeine source.
Someone needs to combine this with bacon in some unholy union.
And stuff all of that inside a chocolate frosted doughnut.
And then deep-fry it.
And then call an ambulance right before you eat it.
BMDX! “B” and “MD” are obvious, the “X” stands for Ax Body Spray.
You could use the jelly on some potato rolls and get your bacon fix this way:
Is that the legendary Bacturducken I heard about at the ER? Anyone not burned to death making it dies shortly after eating it, or a few weeks later from trichinosis for a 100% casualty rate!
The photographer must have been a vegetarian.
I’ve never seen “bacon plaid” before.
Isn’t that the international flag pattern for heart disease?
It’s the tartan of the short-lived MacCoronary clan of Scotland.
They held the haggis eating title for a few generations, didn’t they? I believe their secret for success had to do with wrapping their haggis in bacon, and also stuffing the inside with bacon.
Talk about your Braveheart! More like “Foolhardyheart-har-har”!
You should look up “sausage fatties”.
Why do I feel like this really means “you shouldn’t”?
Sausage meat wrapped in bacon.
Is that a fetish site? By court order, I have to stay eight mouse-clicks away from those at all times.
Wouldn’t that preclude your being on Regretsy, then? We’re two clicks away, max.
That’s wishful thinking. Sometimes we’re 0 clicks away… Remembering some bondage finger puppets posted here a while back.
Ooh, a bacon basket! Quite handy for carrying around one’s heart medications, or perhaps a small defibrillator.
Finally Mountain Dew is “spreadable” and its use as paint remover is no longer limited to what can be dunked in it! It’s time to “Get Vertical” on some cabinets I’ve been meaning to refinish!!! Extreme!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s too high class for me. Do they make Mountain Holler or Mountain Mist jam?
Sundrop Jam or go home.
What an enterprising soul. To look at a Mountain Dew and think, you know what this needs? More concentrated sugar.
Someone’s teeth are rotting out of their jaws.
Strangely enough, my biggest problem with this listing (aside from not bothering to specify the canning method used) is this:
“Seller is not responsible for any damage done to the item once the item leaves the possession of the Seller.”
I’m glad that eBay finally prohibited sellers from making statements like that – and Etsy needs to – because it’s not true. Sellers ARE responsible for getting the item safely to the buyer. So sellers who say that either couldn’t be bothered to familiarize themselves with PayPal’s rules when they signed up, or they’re hoping that buyers didn’t. Either way, it’s not someone I would want to do business with.
You say potato, I say potAHto, you say urine, I say Mountain Dew, let’s call the whole thing off…
Howard Hughes has an Etsy store?
Great! I can spread this on my Ding Dong.
I must remind you that this is a family forum. Please refrain from liscentious comments. Thank you.
Yes, that was in terribly poor taste. Please call it a cock.
I much prefer “one-eyed wonder weasel”.
But y’know, potato potahto.
Oh you touched my tra la la, my ding ding dong…
You better get to it STAT. Hostess is closing its doors.
At first I thought this must be referring to Moonshine, which was/is often called “Mountain Dew”, long before it was the name of a soda. That made more sense here as well, than using the soft drink. I gave up Mountain Dew along time ago due to the fact that it contains Brominated Vegetable oil. They can find it in your fat cells 10 years later. I don’t like anything that I know sticks with me that long.
Most of my human relationships don’t last that long. Why should my food stick around that long?
Just what I want…Mountain Dew I can smear on my various foods.
I’m a long time lurker, who registered just to say this: I unfortunately live in the region where Mtn Dew was invented. (We also are a major meth manufacturing region… coincidence?) I honestly thought Mtn Dew jelly was a joke someone told me until I saw it for sale locally, and I’m sad to see it’s escaped this region. I’m waiting for the inevitable Mountain Dew Johnson City Gold jelly….
They should put a little crucifix in each one.
That reminds me, I still have neon yellow-green jello syringe shots in the fridge (and blue and red)…
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