Actually if it was Mountain Dew Pitch Black flavor I might have to buy some…that stuff is delicious and addicting and the Slurpee version was even better. And I don’t even like Mountain Dew.
I have had Mountain Dew jelly. It is as terrible of an idea as it sounds. It lingered in my fridge for months before I just threw it out. My friend did not have a satisfactory explanation for why she made it.
By definition, a jam retains the fruit pulp. A jelly has had the fruit pulp strained out. So I guess it’s really neither…Unless you count corn as a fruit?
The drought this summer really obliterated my pizza crop. They all stopped growing at “thin-crust”. My sales in New York were high, however, but in Chicago my sales were zero.
Off topic, but Diet Mt. Dew and any flavor of blue Kool-Aid packet will also be a dead ringer for anti freeze, though much, much tastier. And vodka as desired.
…and Mr. Pibb and tranya is called a Mister Spock.
PS – I can’t let a rare Dr. Pepper reference go without mentioning the following off-topic joke:
-Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
-Because his wife died.
I might have more confidence if the seller actually specified the canning method used. That should be required information, because there actually are people out there who still think that the inversion method is sufficient.
I’m gonna use that recipe, add vodka, and make jello shots so I can achieve the perfect sugar-caffeine-alcohol-horse hoof delivery system and can finally stop cooking up meth.
So that’s where those robin’s eggs went! I was going to give them names, raise them, kill them, and sell them in jars on etsy. I was considering using the blood for painting as well.
Ah, the old where does jello come from issue. Almost as fabulous as the old “where does collagen come from?” scare that flared in Ann Landers years ago …
There’s a song my grandmother (whose own grandmother was a highly successful bootlegger) taught me. “My brother Bill had a still on the hill / that ran off a gallon or two / The birds in the sky got so drunk they couldn’t fly / from smelling that good ol’ Mountain Dew!”
Every year I make homemade marshmallows as holiday treats. I actually make some pretty good Mountain Dew marshmallows by boiling the water out of the soda to get to the syrup. It definitely looks like pee by the time you get two liters down to a cup of syrup. (But it does make a pretty good marshmallow once it’s diluted with a cup and a half of sugar)
But Red Bull – OMG. Boil it down and in twenty minutes it looks and smells exactly like horse piss. (I did not make marshmallows with that.)
Seriously! I have blueberry, blackberry, black raspberry, red raspberry and sour cherry jam. (My family likes jam) But I never knew one could solidify and water bath can SODA!
Road trip tip: Next time you’re in West Virginia, make sure to catch the “Uncle-Father and the Cousin-Brothers” bluegrass band. Amazing how fast they play with so many extra fingers!
Is that the legendary Bacturducken I heard about at the ER? Anyone not burned to death making it dies shortly after eating it, or a few weeks later from trichinosis for a 100% casualty rate!
They held the haggis eating title for a few generations, didn’t they? I believe their secret for success had to do with wrapping their haggis in bacon, and also stuffing the inside with bacon.
Finally Mountain Dew is “spreadable” and its use as paint remover is no longer limited to what can be dunked in it! It’s time to “Get Vertical” on some cabinets I’ve been meaning to refinish!!! Extreme!!!!!!!!!!!
Strangely enough, my biggest problem with this listing (aside from not bothering to specify the canning method used) is this:
“Seller is not responsible for any damage done to the item once the item leaves the possession of the Seller.”
I’m glad that eBay finally prohibited sellers from making statements like that – and Etsy needs to – because it’s not true. Sellers ARE responsible for getting the item safely to the buyer. So sellers who say that either couldn’t be bothered to familiarize themselves with PayPal’s rules when they signed up, or they’re hoping that buyers didn’t. Either way, it’s not someone I would want to do business with.
At first I thought this must be referring to Moonshine, which was/is often called “Mountain Dew”, long before it was the name of a soda. That made more sense here as well, than using the soft drink. I gave up Mountain Dew along time ago due to the fact that it contains Brominated Vegetable oil. They can find it in your fat cells 10 years later. I don’t like anything that I know sticks with me that long.
I’m a long time lurker, who registered just to say this: I unfortunately live in the region where Mtn Dew was invented. (We also are a major meth manufacturing region… coincidence?) I honestly thought Mtn Dew jelly was a joke someone told me until I saw it for sale locally, and I’m sad to see it’s escaped this region. I’m waiting for the inevitable Mountain Dew Johnson City Gold jelly….
November 15, 2012 at 9:05 am
Pair this with deep fried twinkies and we have a winner here.
November 15, 2012 at 10:30 am
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November 15, 2012 at 11:22 am
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November 15, 2012 at 3:02 pm
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November 15, 2012 at 7:59 pm
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November 15, 2012 at 9:05 am
JARATE!!!!
November 20, 2012 at 10:39 am
TEAM FORTRESS REFERENCE FTW
November 15, 2012 at 9:06 am
It’s the perfect pick-me-up for the methhead on the go!
November 15, 2012 at 9:10 am
It will rot your teeth twice as fast to get you that traditional meth-mouth look!
November 15, 2012 at 9:20 am
Three times as fast if you order it with the Honey Boo Boo upgrade.
November 15, 2012 at 3:24 pm
Does that come with glittering flecks of pixie stick encased in it?
November 15, 2012 at 10:53 am
Hi, Etsy seller? Can I get this in ‘Purple Drank’ flavor?
November 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm
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November 16, 2012 at 10:13 pm
Actually if it was Mountain Dew Pitch Black flavor I might have to buy some…that stuff is delicious and addicting and the Slurpee version was even better. And I don’t even like Mountain Dew.
November 15, 2012 at 9:08 am
They should rename it Shrek jelly.
November 15, 2012 at 9:11 am
If you’re going to sample some of this YOU’RE IN for a big surprise.
November 15, 2012 at 10:06 am
I see what you did there.
November 15, 2012 at 10:13 am
Very peeceptive!
November 15, 2012 at 10:53 am
Oh piss off.
November 15, 2012 at 11:27 am
Why can’t wee be friends?
November 15, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Wee-lax and share some pee-pee jelly.
November 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Urine to Mountain Dew way too much. It’s a piss-poor excuse for jelly.
November 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm
You guys are so great with the puns! You’re #1 in my book.
November 15, 2012 at 9:12 am
I have had Mountain Dew jelly. It is as terrible of an idea as it sounds. It lingered in my fridge for months before I just threw it out. My friend did not have a satisfactory explanation for why she made it.
November 15, 2012 at 9:14 am
I love how the seller is uncertain whether it’s jam or jelly in the first place.
November 15, 2012 at 10:48 am
By definition, a jam retains the fruit pulp. A jelly has had the fruit pulp strained out. So I guess it’s really neither…Unless you count corn as a fruit?
November 15, 2012 at 11:19 am
Hey, if Congress can deem pizza a vegetable, we should be able to call corn a fruit… seems fair.
November 15, 2012 at 11:44 am
The drought this summer really obliterated my pizza crop. They all stopped growing at “thin-crust”. My sales in New York were high, however, but in Chicago my sales were zero.
November 15, 2012 at 12:33 pm
This is going to drive up prices for lower-quality pizza across the country in some kind of Domino’s effect.
November 15, 2012 at 10:10 pm
Zippy, would you have my babies?
November 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Well, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start trying to grow that pie higher!
November 16, 2012 at 10:39 am
Put food on your family!
November 15, 2012 at 11:29 am
I thought the definition had something to do with one or the other not shaking “like that”.
November 15, 2012 at 9:21 am
Could any explanation really be satisfactory for that?
November 15, 2012 at 9:29 am
I thought “I was high” was pretty well explained by the whole concept.
November 20, 2012 at 10:42 am
Oh, I was seriously thinking of ordering this. Thanks for the review
Otherwise… who knows what could have happen? I REALLY love Mountain Dew.
November 15, 2012 at 9:13 am
Just needs a little bit of tabasco for that kidney-stone/undiagnosed internal bleeding look …
November 15, 2012 at 9:16 am
Someone raided David Bowie’s fridge.
November 15, 2012 at 3:58 pm
I guess some of you don’t know about Bowie’s drug addled urine collecting obsession in the 70′s.
November 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Well that knocks him down a couple steps in my rankings. But it still leaves him considerably higher rated than Gary Glitter.
November 15, 2012 at 9:21 am
Mountain Don’t
November 15, 2012 at 9:23 am
Throw in the dead fish from yesterday, and I’m in!
November 15, 2012 at 9:24 am
Also in their shop: http://www.etsy.com/listing/97754451/ice-blue-raspberry-lemonade-kool-aid
November 15, 2012 at 9:44 am
The seller should embrace the obvious and call these “Crimes Against Nature Preserves.”
November 15, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Really? A peanut butter and koolaid sandwich? Although it would have gone over well in Jonestown.
Too Soon?
November 15, 2012 at 8:54 pm
That blue jelly looks like it was made from anti -freeze.
November 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm
Off topic, but Diet Mt. Dew and any flavor of blue Kool-Aid packet will also be a dead ringer for anti freeze, though much, much tastier. And vodka as desired.
November 15, 2012 at 9:26 am
I think the cocktail I invented would go very well with this. It’s called a Doctor Zhivago and it’s made with Dr Pepper and Vodka.
November 15, 2012 at 9:34 am
…and Mr. Pibb and tranya is called a Mister Spock.
PS – I can’t let a rare Dr. Pepper reference go without mentioning the following off-topic joke:
-Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
-Because his wife died.
November 15, 2012 at 1:35 pm
awwwwwww…thumbs down or thumbs up for being thumbs down?
Thumbs up, I say.
November 15, 2012 at 6:06 pm
Off-topic and off-color! You just can’t beat that combination!
What’s gray and comes in quarts? Ah hell, I’ll let someone else answer this one.
November 15, 2012 at 9:34 am
We drank that a lot in high school. I think we called it The Reset for some reason.
November 15, 2012 at 9:36 am
Nevermind, that was Dr. Pepper and 151. It tasted kind of like nothing.
November 15, 2012 at 9:51 am
And you didn’t call it “Dr. Zhivodka”?
November 15, 2012 at 10:15 am
I bet they did after the first couple. Or at least “Doctuh Zzzzhvuhduhkuhguh… *bluuuuuurge*!”
November 15, 2012 at 10:22 am
I couldn’t even get through one. It was completely vile. Like that jam/jelly
November 15, 2012 at 11:15 am
1987 – My college roommate and I discovered a twist on the fuzzy navel – orange soda & peach vodka – YUM!
November 15, 2012 at 11:15 am
peach schnapps – not vodka. *doh!*
November 15, 2012 at 11:30 am
And yet you still got an MBA? Way to overcome temptation!
November 15, 2012 at 5:28 pm
Well, um, er, ehm. This *was* at my first starter school. The one I kinda, well, flunked out of. I didn’t even KNOW it was possible to have a 0.4 GPA!
Kinda cleaned up after that. BUT I’m astounded that, with that MBA, I never realized the potential market for soda flavored jelly.
November 16, 2012 at 5:38 am
How many starter schools did you go to?!
November 15, 2012 at 12:13 pm
My roommates and I invented that in college in 1976. We were moving and that is all we had in the house. We also called it Dr. Zhivago.
November 15, 2012 at 9:27 am
The idea of buying preserves from unlicenced/unregulated kitchens fills me with something. Probably horror.
November 15, 2012 at 9:54 am
Salmonella.
November 15, 2012 at 10:57 am
Homemade Botox!
November 15, 2012 at 4:18 pm
only one organism, c.difficile. Explosive consequences there.
November 16, 2012 at 10:17 pm
Is it a hospital kitchen?
November 15, 2012 at 11:26 am
I might have more confidence if the seller actually specified the canning method used. That should be required information, because there actually are people out there who still think that the inversion method is sufficient.
November 15, 2012 at 9:31 am
From Honey boo boo’s wish list for Santa.
November 15, 2012 at 9:35 am
So you’re saying I can have my munchies AND my Mountain Dew in one!?
Yeah, no.
November 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
I’m gonna use that recipe, add vodka, and make jello shots so I can achieve the perfect sugar-caffeine-alcohol-horse hoof delivery system and can finally stop cooking up meth.
November 15, 2012 at 9:42 am
I think I actually had something like that in college…I think. That night is blurry. I woke up on someone’s kitchen floor.
November 15, 2012 at 9:47 am
It’s a slippery slope. It’s only a matter of time before someone figures out a way to sell Jello shots on Etsy.
And there will be hair in them.
November 15, 2012 at 9:49 am
And why not? I’m sure it can be marketed as “natural” and “upcycled” and maybe even “homeopathic” if done right.
November 15, 2012 at 7:49 pm
Add a gear to the side of the bottle and it can be “steampunk” too.
November 15, 2012 at 9:52 am
When they have powdered vodka or grain alcohol, imagine the mixes that could be sold…
Off to the laboratory!
November 15, 2012 at 10:04 am
Hmm…methinks it’s time to get to the kitchen to figure this out. I can always use the hair my roommate’s girlfriend leaves in the shower drain, right?
November 15, 2012 at 10:16 pm
That was you???? I ultimately found all your clothes stuffed up a gutter pipe, with last years unfound Easter eggs.
November 17, 2012 at 6:42 am
So that’s where those robin’s eggs went! I was going to give them names, raise them, kill them, and sell them in jars on etsy. I was considering using the blood for painting as well.
November 15, 2012 at 9:46 am
Ah, the old where does jello come from issue. Almost as fabulous as the old “where does collagen come from?” scare that flared in Ann Landers years ago …
November 15, 2012 at 10:09 am
What if I have my own “Jello” recipe that takes advantage of my proximity to the White Castle production facilities?
November 15, 2012 at 9:37 am
Old fashioned jars of home made goodness! Just like the Mountain Dew jam our forefathers made in pioneer times!
November 15, 2012 at 10:02 am
They even reproduced the complex chemical compounds the early settler-chemists used!
November 15, 2012 at 10:12 am
I still have fond memories of “Little Lab on the Prairie”. But why couldn’t Mary have worn safety goggles on that sad day?
November 15, 2012 at 10:15 am
I always loved reading about the bitter feud between Hatfield Laboratory and The McCoy Laboratory.
November 15, 2012 at 10:46 am
“Ma – fire up the centrifuger!” We got us a feller from GlaxoSmithKline a’commin’ an’ we cain’t lose another contract ta them durn Hatfields!”
- “Dr” McCoy, just afore he run off to space with them Fed’ration types.
November 15, 2012 at 11:28 am
Mary had a little lab, little lab, little lab…
November 15, 2012 at 10:24 am
I only want Mt Dew Jam from the Trappist monks that live in the Ozarks.
http://deadspin.com/5959212/the-haters-guide-to-the-williams+sonoma-catalog
November 15, 2012 at 11:41 am
Warning: Reading this website is the equivalent of doing 50 sit-ups, you will laugh so hard. Did I say “Warning”? I meant “Bonus!”
November 16, 2012 at 10:15 am
Oh my Goddess, that article was a thing of beauty…sort of a foodie’s Regretsy.
November 15, 2012 at 10:19 pm
There’s a song my grandmother (whose own grandmother was a highly successful bootlegger) taught me. “My brother Bill had a still on the hill / that ran off a gallon or two / The birds in the sky got so drunk they couldn’t fly / from smelling that good ol’ Mountain Dew!”
November 15, 2012 at 9:40 am
http://www.etsy.com/listing/86880863/white-mickey-mouse-set-of-4-ceramic-tile
You can also get homemade copyright infringement just like grandma used to make.
November 15, 2012 at 9:43 am
Every year I make homemade marshmallows as holiday treats. I actually make some pretty good Mountain Dew marshmallows by boiling the water out of the soda to get to the syrup. It definitely looks like pee by the time you get two liters down to a cup of syrup. (But it does make a pretty good marshmallow once it’s diluted with a cup and a half of sugar)
But Red Bull – OMG. Boil it down and in twenty minutes it looks and smells exactly like horse piss. (I did not make marshmallows with that.)
November 15, 2012 at 9:46 am
WHY DO WE PLAY GOD? SOME THINGS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE!
November 15, 2012 at 10:05 am
Mountain Dew marshmallows are totally meant to be.
November 15, 2012 at 10:21 am
I thumbed you up for sticking with your convictions but you are destroying the fabric of our civilization.
November 15, 2012 at 10:56 am
OH WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE
November 15, 2012 at 12:57 pm
SKITTLES OUT
Man, I’m still laughing about that, days later. Something about someone named “skittles” talkin’ tough really had me dying.
November 15, 2012 at 10:44 am
I bet cherry 7up would make great marshmallows
November 15, 2012 at 11:27 am
Cream soda!
November 15, 2012 at 12:34 pm
*fabric unravels further*
November 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I make jam with fruit. Where do I belong? I don’t know any more.
November 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Seriously! I have blueberry, blackberry, black raspberry, red raspberry and sour cherry jam. (My family likes jam) But I never knew one could solidify and water bath can SODA!
November 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Seriously, where did this trend of cooking with soda come from? I’ve seen like 3 Mountain Dew recipes in the past couple of weeks.
November 15, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Oh my god I think I’d get diabetes in five minutes if somebody made those. Also, rushgirl2112, I love your username
November 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Oooh, I bet you’re right. I might try that too this year.
November 15, 2012 at 10:21 pm
Cheerwine!
November 15, 2012 at 10:00 am
Finally, the second-best-kept secret of Cousinhump, West Virginia is available to the buying public!
November 15, 2012 at 10:10 am
Can the first-best-kept secret stay that way?
November 15, 2012 at 10:14 am
It’ll stay a secret. They incest. I mean insist.
November 15, 2012 at 11:35 am
I resemble that remark! You better apologize or my uncle-husband gonna come beat you up.
November 15, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Road trip tip: Next time you’re in West Virginia, make sure to catch the “Uncle-Father and the Cousin-Brothers” bluegrass band. Amazing how fast they play with so many extra fingers!
November 15, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Excellent! I’m plastering my Prius with Obama/Biden bumper stickers in preparation as we speak.
November 15, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Smart move! Obama and Biden are EXTRA popular down there, so you’ll blend in well.
November 15, 2012 at 10:12 am
Yay, jellied Slurm!
November 15, 2012 at 10:27 am
It’s highly addictive! (ride the walrus!!)
November 16, 2012 at 10:11 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought ‘Slurm’ when they saw this.
November 15, 2012 at 10:17 am
I, for one, am delighted that Mountain Dew now has that “stick to your ribs” quality I so love in a caffeine source.
November 15, 2012 at 10:27 am
Someone needs to combine this with bacon in some unholy union.
November 15, 2012 at 10:29 am
And stuff all of that inside a chocolate frosted doughnut.
November 15, 2012 at 11:30 am
And then deep-fry it.
November 15, 2012 at 11:49 am
And then call an ambulance right before you eat it.
November 15, 2012 at 10:31 am
BMDX! “B” and “MD” are obvious, the “X” stands for Ax Body Spray.
November 15, 2012 at 11:25 am
You could use the jelly on some potato rolls and get your bacon fix this way:
November 15, 2012 at 11:48 am
Is that the legendary Bacturducken I heard about at the ER? Anyone not burned to death making it dies shortly after eating it, or a few weeks later from trichinosis for a 100% casualty rate!
November 15, 2012 at 11:48 am
The photographer must have been a vegetarian.
November 15, 2012 at 11:51 am
I’ve never seen “bacon plaid” before.
Isn’t that the international flag pattern for heart disease?
November 15, 2012 at 12:08 pm
It’s the tartan of the short-lived MacCoronary clan of Scotland.
November 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm
They held the haggis eating title for a few generations, didn’t they? I believe their secret for success had to do with wrapping their haggis in bacon, and also stuffing the inside with bacon.
November 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Talk about your Braveheart! More like “Foolhardyheart-har-har”!
November 15, 2012 at 12:40 pm
You should look up “sausage fatties”.
November 15, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Why do I feel like this really means “you shouldn’t”?
November 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Sausage meat wrapped in bacon.
November 15, 2012 at 1:02 pm
Is that a fetish site? By court order, I have to stay eight mouse-clicks away from those at all times.
November 15, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Wouldn’t that preclude your being on Regretsy, then? We’re two clicks away, max.
November 16, 2012 at 5:42 am
That’s wishful thinking. Sometimes we’re 0 clicks away… Remembering some bondage finger puppets posted here a while back.
November 17, 2012 at 6:30 am
Ooh, a bacon basket! Quite handy for carrying around one’s heart medications, or perhaps a small defibrillator.
November 15, 2012 at 10:29 am
Finally Mountain Dew is “spreadable” and its use as paint remover is no longer limited to what can be dunked in it! It’s time to “Get Vertical” on some cabinets I’ve been meaning to refinish!!! Extreme!!!!!!!!!!!
November 15, 2012 at 10:38 am
It’s too high class for me. Do they make Mountain Holler or Mountain Mist jam?
November 15, 2012 at 11:16 am
Sundrop Jam or go home.
What an enterprising soul. To look at a Mountain Dew and think, you know what this needs? More concentrated sugar.
November 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm
Someone’s teeth are rotting out of their jaws.
November 15, 2012 at 11:35 am
Strangely enough, my biggest problem with this listing (aside from not bothering to specify the canning method used) is this:
“Seller is not responsible for any damage done to the item once the item leaves the possession of the Seller.”
I’m glad that eBay finally prohibited sellers from making statements like that – and Etsy needs to – because it’s not true. Sellers ARE responsible for getting the item safely to the buyer. So sellers who say that either couldn’t be bothered to familiarize themselves with PayPal’s rules when they signed up, or they’re hoping that buyers didn’t. Either way, it’s not someone I would want to do business with.
November 15, 2012 at 11:46 am
You say potato, I say potAHto, you say urine, I say Mountain Dew, let’s call the whole thing off…
November 15, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Howard Hughes has an Etsy store?
November 15, 2012 at 3:00 pm
Great! I can spread this on my Ding Dong.
November 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm
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November 15, 2012 at 4:01 pm
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November 15, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Yes, that was in terribly poor taste. Please call it a cock.
November 15, 2012 at 6:06 pm
I much prefer “one-eyed wonder weasel”.
But y’know, potato potahto.
November 15, 2012 at 10:25 pm
Little Elvis?
November 15, 2012 at 6:36 pm
Oh you touched my tra la la, my ding ding dong…
http://youtu.be/DbYtqAWDF2U
November 16, 2012 at 5:43 am
You better get to it STAT. Hostess is closing its doors.
November 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm
At first I thought this must be referring to Moonshine, which was/is often called “Mountain Dew”, long before it was the name of a soda. That made more sense here as well, than using the soft drink. I gave up Mountain Dew along time ago due to the fact that it contains Brominated Vegetable oil. They can find it in your fat cells 10 years later. I don’t like anything that I know sticks with me that long.
November 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Most of my human relationships don’t last that long. Why should my food stick around that long?
November 15, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Just what I want…Mountain Dew I can smear on my various foods.
November 15, 2012 at 10:06 pm
I’m a long time lurker, who registered just to say this: I unfortunately live in the region where Mtn Dew was invented. (We also are a major meth manufacturing region… coincidence?) I honestly thought Mtn Dew jelly was a joke someone told me until I saw it for sale locally, and I’m sad to see it’s escaped this region. I’m waiting for the inevitable Mountain Dew Johnson City Gold jelly….
November 16, 2012 at 9:03 am
They should put a little crucifix in each one.
November 16, 2012 at 10:21 pm
That reminds me, I still have neon yellow-green jello syringe shots in the fridge (and blue and red)…