“Mommy, what happened to Goldy? We came back from a trip and he was gone!”
“Well Billy, he’s right here. Also, it’s time we talked to you about what happens after you die. When you die, your body gets dumped in a glass full of alcohol with a few of your friends.”
I know I’m very late to the party, but I saw this and I just had to share that watching our aquarium saltwater fish die due to an error the movers made with the tank traumatized me for life. In fact, I’m going to need to go preserve myself in alcohol just to forget this post. EUuuuuuUUUUUgghh.
I want a whole tank full of these guys. Nothing else could remind me of the futility of existence better than the faded, lifeless carcasses of tropical fish.
I’m just pointing that even if the seller does manage to sell their pickled ex-pets, it won’t match how much they spent buying them in the first place.
They’re stiff! Bereft of life, they rest in peace! If you hadn’t dumped them in alcohol, they’d be pushing up the daisies!
Their metabolic processes are now history! They’re off the twig!
They’ve kicked the bucket, they’ve shuffled off their mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!!
THESE ARE EX-FISHES!!!
“Will be shipped without alcohol in jar, buyer provides alcohol to refill jar.”
So I’m paying JUST for the dead fish? Not even getting some low-quality hooch out of the deal? Gee, I can’t imagine anything going wrong with shipping dead fish in a glass jar through the mails.
Hey, just found The Mister’s Christmas present — $35 for 9 pre-killed fish? That’s a fucking lot cheaper than $60 each for live discus fish, the cost of keeping the damned aquariums warm and changing the water, and the food to feed them, along with the bother of gradually killing them himself.
This person should not be allowed to have pets. I imagine some twisted fuck just picking up stray/pet cats and getting free animals from craigslist just to kill them in the name of “crafting.”
tomato clown, wrasse?, ???, yellow tang, butterfly fish, assorted damsels, and is that… a plecostomus? I really hope that wasn’t in the saltwater tank.
wait I just went through and identified dead fish.. god damnit.
3 weeks on and still no let-up in the Sandy “Hurricraft” flood which has inundated us with busted-up and/or dead stuff that has been hastily repurposed. I can’t blame those poor soggy shivering bastards but facts is facts.
where did the plecostomus come from, they don’t live with all the salty fish. I wonder what the laws are about not warning people they are purchasing poisonous animals…fox face have poisonous spines…..added bonus??
reminds me of the day I poured ammonia in my brother’s tadpoles. He stole the money I had hidden between my mattresses so I could see Star Trek II Wrath of Khan…so the little froggies got croaked. I’m not proud…but I stand by the lesson.
Damn, I could’ve made a fortune off the 5 pound* sucker fish I had to toss in the trash instead of flush back when I was in high school! Too bad I’m fairly sure Etsy didn’t exist back then…
*No exaggeration. He ate the other fish till we put him in his own tank. He finally died from eating a freaking ROCK because he couldn’t suck the thing down.
November 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Fishy!! Why are you sleeping?!!
November 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Whole new meaning to “sleeping with the fishes”…
November 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm
“Mommy, what happened to Goldy? We came back from a trip and he was gone!”
“Well Billy, he’s right here. Also, it’s time we talked to you about what happens after you die. When you die, your body gets dumped in a glass full of alcohol with a few of your friends.”
November 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm
That happens to me sometimes and I haven’t even died yet.
November 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm
I like the way your avatar supports your statement.
November 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm
I know I’m very late to the party, but I saw this and I just had to share that watching our aquarium saltwater fish die due to an error the movers made with the tank traumatized me for life. In fact, I’m going to need to go preserve myself in alcohol just to forget this post. EUuuuuuUUUUUgghh.
November 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Gold-fish-schlager
November 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm
On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a 0.
November 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Giving this a zero doesn’t consider the vendors whole store. Serious creep factor here.
November 20, 2012 at 10:49 am
OH GOD WHY.
November 14, 2012 at 4:06 pm
He’s dead drunk, you mean.
November 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Go home fish, you’re drunk.
November 14, 2012 at 4:24 pm
November 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I laughed at this wayyyyyy harder than I should have,
November 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Agreed, feeling some serious guilt over how hysterical I find your death, little fish.
November 14, 2012 at 11:04 pm
Friends don’t let friend swim drunk.
November 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Just fill your aquarium with alcohol and cut out the middleman.
November 14, 2012 at 11:28 pm
Sure, fill your aquarium with alcohol, and then when you wake up the next morning, you find you have a frat infestation.
November 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm
Rest In Pisces.
November 15, 2012 at 5:17 am
He’s resting in the arms of the angelfish. May the piece of Cod be with you always.
November 15, 2012 at 8:43 am
Wrasses to wrasses…
November 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I want a whole tank full of these guys. Nothing else could remind me of the futility of existence better than the faded, lifeless carcasses of tropical fish.
November 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm
You must not have a TV.
November 15, 2012 at 4:56 am
Very cheerful. Nice addition to kid’s room.
November 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Thanks but when it comes to animals in my drink, I’d rather have the tequila worm.
November 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm
35 dollars?
That’s generally the cheapest a single tropical marine fish goes for, and that’s if you’re buying a species that didn’t appear in Finding Nemo.
November 14, 2012 at 7:18 pm
Yes, but these are DEAD.
That reduces the value, unless the animal in question is a mink or something.
November 14, 2012 at 7:25 pm
I’m just pointing that even if the seller does manage to sell their pickled ex-pets, it won’t match how much they spent buying them in the first place.
November 15, 2012 at 9:25 am
I have convinced myself that the seller has an agreement with his or her local pet store to buy the fish that die of Natural Causes very cheaply.
If I thought that all the dead things in this store were killed on purpose just for these shoddy crafts, I would not sleep at night.
November 15, 2012 at 7:16 am
It ain’t dead, it’s just resting.
November 20, 2012 at 10:55 am
They’re stiff! Bereft of life, they rest in peace! If you hadn’t dumped them in alcohol, they’d be pushing up the daisies!
Their metabolic processes are now history! They’re off the twig!
They’ve kicked the bucket, they’ve shuffled off their mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!!
THESE ARE EX-FISHES!!!
November 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Yep, those are dead fish. Cichloids if I’m not mistaken.
That’s worse than tragi-crafting methinks.
November 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm
Hey one’s a Yellow Tang – I love to drink Tang!
November 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm
It’s an Angelfish.
November 14, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I was going by their description.
(I don’t love drinking Angelfish. Too salty.)
November 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm
My mistake, the one in the post is an Angel but in the pics of the listing, there’s a tang.
November 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Which, of course, makes the jar full of both tropical AND saltwater fish. A BARGAIN AT ANY PRICE!
November 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Get an aquarium, you two!
November 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Well, maybe someone who could not control their salt water tank?
November 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Whatever happened to GRAPE Tang anyway? That was totally my favorite.
November 15, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Went the way of space food sticks.
Life just ain’t been the same since.
November 14, 2012 at 4:18 pm
This happened at a house party once. They were alive for a little while. Fish really can’t hold their liquor.
November 14, 2012 at 4:19 pm
I could’ve made a fortune working at Petco.
November 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm
He’s just restin’
November 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm
He’s pining for the fjords!!!!!
November 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm
He’s not pining, he’s passed on!
November 14, 2012 at 9:40 pm
He’s an EX-TANG!!!!!
November 15, 2012 at 4:55 am
This fish wouldn’t *FOOM* if you put ten thousand volts through it
November 15, 2012 at 5:00 am
He’s an ‘alf fish. Eric the ‘alf fish.
November 14, 2012 at 4:26 pm
to semi quote Hitchhikers guide
“Whats so bad about being drunk?”
“Ask a glass of fish.”
November 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm
They’re not dead they’re just pining for the fiords.
November 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm
They are definitely ex-fish.
November 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm
No, no, they’re just stunned! Yeah! You stunned them, just as they were wakin’ up!
November 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Listen, you, their metabolic processes are a matter of interest only to historians!
November 14, 2012 at 9:01 pm
No, no, they’re not dead, they’re, they’re resting! Remarkable fish, beautiful plumage… err, scales!
November 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm
They’re pushing up, um, wait… plankton?
November 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm
“Exotic and beautiful in my opinion”.
Um, yeah, that’s why *anyone* buys exotic fish. But pickled? I think that’s where your opinion diverges from the mainstream a bit, Sparky.
November 15, 2012 at 4:37 am
Also, if they’re so beautiful and exotic and wonderful, why isn’t the seller keeping them??
November 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Too much Drambuoy.
November 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm
Finlandia?
November 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Bass-O-Matic.
November 14, 2012 at 10:40 pm
Jim Bream.
November 14, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Silly, it’s white wine for fish.
November 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm
“Will be shipped without alcohol in jar, buyer provides alcohol to refill jar.”
So I’m paying JUST for the dead fish? Not even getting some low-quality hooch out of the deal? Gee, I can’t imagine anything going wrong with shipping dead fish in a glass jar through the mails.
I’m going to put MY dead rotted fish in … Kahlua.
November 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Hey, just found The Mister’s Christmas present — $35 for 9 pre-killed fish? That’s a fucking lot cheaper than $60 each for live discus fish, the cost of keeping the damned aquariums warm and changing the water, and the food to feed them, along with the bother of gradually killing them himself.
This will save so much time and money!
November 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Memories for the tanks.
November 14, 2012 at 5:09 pm
November 14, 2012 at 5:21 pm
The glass is a great storage/display idea. That way, you can save the aquarium for the pickled raccoon.
November 14, 2012 at 8:44 pm
Or knock out the glass of the aquarium and put a dead whale in there. If it’s size-appropriate.
November 14, 2012 at 11:19 pm
No just a glass but “a specimen jar.” The perfect choice to fill with yellow water.
November 14, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Well, now I guess we all know why Rxe08 lost his job at the Petsmart.
November 14, 2012 at 6:12 pm
For an extra $35.00, they’ll throw in Luca Brasi.
November 14, 2012 at 8:45 pm
But they’re keeping the cannoli.
November 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm
I thought for a moment they were trying to sell a very expensive exotic cocktail drink. I may have to start drinking for real now.
November 14, 2012 at 11:09 pm
I’ve heard of Cherry Heering but never Lemon Tang.
November 14, 2012 at 6:36 pm
But I wanted mine fried. *pouts*
November 14, 2012 at 6:45 pm
I’m guessing someone lost power during Sandy and is trying to recoup losses from their salt tank.
November 14, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm
I see they didn’t decide to save them until AFTER they were in the toilet, and properly peed on.
November 14, 2012 at 8:16 pm
tomato clown, wrasse?, ???, yellow tang, butterfly fish, assorted damsels, and is that… a plecostomus? I really hope that wasn’t in the saltwater tank.
wait I just went through and identified dead fish.. god damnit.
November 14, 2012 at 8:51 pm
That was a fish doubly out of water.
November 14, 2012 at 8:51 pm
3 weeks on and still no let-up in the Sandy “Hurricraft” flood which has inundated us with busted-up and/or dead stuff that has been hastily repurposed. I can’t blame those poor soggy shivering bastards but facts is facts.
November 14, 2012 at 9:08 pm
Am I the only one who read the description as “all of the fish stink”?
November 14, 2012 at 9:57 pm
Interesting seller. Their favorite materials:
Preserved specimens, taxidermy, bones, skulls, dead animals, dead humans, dead babies, especially 2 headed dead babies
November 14, 2012 at 10:18 pm
What if I want floaters instead of sinkers?
November 14, 2012 at 10:36 pm
That will cost you extra.
November 15, 2012 at 5:37 am
Yeah, it’s hard stuffing those little bastards with styrofoam pellets.
November 14, 2012 at 11:12 pm
“beautiful in my opinion” in craft vocabulary = “has a great personality” in dating vocabulary or “cozy and charming” in realtor-speak.
November 15, 2012 at 8:00 am
im still creeped out the store has 120 sales
November 15, 2012 at 9:52 am
from the seller’s description: “I acquired this and other unusual items from the estate of an eccentric natural history collector.”
(more like he acquired it from the addam’s family fish tank.)
November 15, 2012 at 3:54 pm
where did the plecostomus come from, they don’t live with all the salty fish. I wonder what the laws are about not warning people they are purchasing poisonous animals…fox face have poisonous spines…..added bonus??
November 15, 2012 at 3:55 pm
wait…….not a fox face just a butterfly….should have looked better at the rotten fish for identification:-) no added bonus
November 15, 2012 at 4:21 pm
reminds me of the day I poured ammonia in my brother’s tadpoles. He stole the money I had hidden between my mattresses so I could see Star Trek II Wrath of Khan…so the little froggies got croaked. I’m not proud…but I stand by the lesson.
November 15, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Reminds me of the time my daughter poured nail-polish remover in the fish tank to “clean the fish” That was the last of them.
November 15, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Damn, I could’ve made a fortune off the 5 pound* sucker fish I had to toss in the trash instead of flush back when I was in high school! Too bad I’m fairly sure Etsy didn’t exist back then…
*No exaggeration. He ate the other fish till we put him in his own tank. He finally died from eating a freaking ROCK because he couldn’t suck the thing down.
November 16, 2012 at 9:22 am
:O Is I bad I want them? I have a box of dead things.. preserved fish, frogs, beetles, and a seahorse.
Though I obtained mine at no cost, don’t think I’d pay for dead poorly preserved fish.
November 16, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Do you know what is a perfect gift for a dead kitty?
A dead fish.
November 19, 2012 at 12:16 pm
I can’t own a fish whitout him dying quickly. Never thought of keeping them dead in alcohol. disgusting but way cheaper!