I stuff it in my little disposal hole in the baseboard! The eggshells, too. Works great! I hear some weird scuffling noises from behind there sometimes, but I figure that’s nothing to do with me.
That takes me back to the old Orphanage…..sweet, sweet memories. The beatings weren’t that sweet, and the gruel was awful and the loneliness was unbearable, but otherwise the memories were sweet.
What with belts for seating, belts for beating and production line conveyor belts for “activity time”, I’m not surprised you buckled down and made something of yourself.
Every time that one gets used, Joan Crawford has to take a time out in the closet. If the picture gets posted she also has to eat a moth ball. Think of Joan! Just kidding, screw her.
Is it me or is it crooked as well? I can’t tell if it is the angle of the belt messing with me or if the picture is tilted or if the chair is really leaning to the side…
Because if it is, this is even more perfect for a baby/young child.
Cause all us good parents know, there is nothing more relaxed and calm then a small child belted into cracked leaning chair from hell’s circus to make a child nice and quiet during dinner time.
Might as well just string the kid up by his feet and throw cheerios at it – save the 195 – my guess is the experience would be about the same. Then you will have extra for therapy later.
Wait. It’s painted like that on purpose? I was thinking if I sanded it down, sealed the crack in the seat, painted it, and torched that awful belt, I could give it to my grandma to set one of her creepy dolls in. If I had a grandma who collected creepy dolls.
Everyone’s grandma collects those. If you haven’t seen them yet they are reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally creepy. Sorry about your lose of innocence just now.
True story: The first time my mom stayed over my grandmother (her mother-in-law)’s house, she got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, took a wrong turn, and ended up in THE DOLL ROOM.
Hell, that ain’t nothin’. When I was staying with my husband’s grandparents, they insisted we should sleep in the master bedroom. Which is where Granmaw keeps her creepy doll collection. On shelves that wrap around the entire room.
We couldn’t say no. Southern hospitality is not to be denied. But I felt bad that elderly people were sleeping on a pull-out couch for us. I also felt bad that I had to sleep in a room where I was outnumbered by several hundred creepy dolls.
We’d close the light, and I’d whisper to my husband, “They’re still staring.”
Neither of my grandmothers collected dolls. One had one doll she had treasured since childhood, although it had an amazing wardrobe. The other grandma put pictures of her family all over the house. Pictures of her grandkids featured prominently in her bedroom. It was really weird seeing at all my cousins, siblings, and me facing left but looking up and slightly to the right. Sears really needed to switch up their poses more often.
My grandma collected creepy dolls. Her favorite was one she’d had since childhood. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie. No hair, and the face all cracked and burnt looking.
That doll would look right at home in this chair. Alas, we buried it with her last year. Ah, memories.
It starts with a nibble when the tribble wants her kibble, then the blood begins to dribble but we don’t have to quibble; that’s what you get for being edible.
Oh, and our local nerd theater group is presenting a live version of The Trouble With Tribbles at a park next summer. Fresh from their triumph on The Journey to Babel last summer and Mirror Mirror before that. I missed when they did Amok Time and may never forgive myself. LIVE ACTION STAR TREK, BITCHES!!!
Yes! I can’t believe it’s the last season for Trek in the Park, but at least they’re leaving us with tribbles. I didn’t know you were in my neck of the NW, Zippy.
I hate to get all pissy and serious (I still think it’s funny) but this is fairly patronizing to actual gypsy folk.
Gypsies either refer to ‘travelers’ in the West, generally moving from place to place with caravans (this type of gypsy stuff on Etsy kind of smacks of glamorizing poverty, AKA hobo wedding), OR the term refers to Roma/Romany people in some parts of Europe. My ‘gypsy’ great-uncles were of the latter and both were gassed in a concentration camp.
But, this is Regretsy, so let’s bring in some levity. This chair looks like an unsafe piece of hoarder trash and no, painting it circus colors won’t change that. I’m drunk again. SKITTLES OUT
Have you seen the My Big Gypsy Wedding show? If I am to believe and further perpetuate the gypsy sterotype this thing should be bedazzled, tulled out the wazoo, and have LED lights flashing. Furthermore, there are no butterflies, screaming fathers, or gold statuettes.
lovinglymadewithspite
November 10, 2012 at 3:17 am
I don’t have cable. My 18+ year old cat Peeve, speaks of “his tribe” so fondly. He made me watch it once at a friend’s house, I must have mixed up all the terminology. He is known for his roaming as well.
I suspect the seller breathed in a lot of lead-paint dust while “refurbishing” this chair, which is the only explanation I can think of for their asking $195 + $50 for what amounts to a stack of toxic kindling.
lovinglymadewithspite
November 10, 2012 at 3:20 am
I thought it said, meditation! Then i was picturing a child strapped in and forced to meditate! “CLOSE YOUR EYES DAMMIT! DEEP BREATH IN, (just not too deep, the lead paint dust will do quite a number on your lungs, though it might make the visualization a little easier)”
CollectorOfWaywardRacistWhiteCousins
November 10, 2012 at 5:26 am
This is definitely an SCP object.
(http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-series-2)
Contact the Foundation and have them administrate class-B amnesiacs to everyone on Regretsy. I bet it eats the person sitting in it, or the parent, or transports them into a parallel universe where an enormous green monster is found down an endless dark flight of stairs.
Yeah, I’m thinking if one of my kids’ grandparents bought this chair, they wouldn’t be doing much babysitting.
BTW, I love wooden high chairs, and I actually got one for my kids. The difference? It didn’t have old chipping paint on it, I didn’t paint it to LOOK like it had old chipping paint on it, it wasn’t cracked, it had a secure strap to hold the child in, and I paid only $80 for it. Because I’m not an idiot.
November 9, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Smells Like Ecologica Malibu.
November 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm
She does smell an awful lot like lead paint.
I thought her name was Egotistical Malibu? I must’ve remembered it wrong.
November 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm
One of you is thinking about E. Malibu Barbie and the other is insane.
November 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Narf.
November 11, 2012 at 6:53 pm
“What are we going to do tonight Brain?”
“Paint some baby’s highchair with multi-color lead paint then take over the world!!”
November 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm
I’m gonna guess that I’m the insane one.
November 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Potato, potahto, Matt.
November 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm
November 9, 2012 at 4:03 pm
What is that under the chair… leftovers? Looks like a ratty birdsnest.
November 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Yeah, it is a birds’ nest. What’s that about?
November 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Birds nests = the new barn wood?
November 9, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Where do YOU put the nest after you eat the eggs, lettuce? In some kind of fancy-pants trashcan?
November 9, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I stuff it in my little disposal hole in the baseboard! The eggshells, too. Works great! I hear some weird scuffling noises from behind there sometimes, but I figure that’s nothing to do with me.
November 9, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Ahem. It’s a fancy skantstrashcan
November 9, 2012 at 7:49 pm
son of a motherless spacebar! X-(
November 11, 2012 at 6:54 pm
you dip it in breading and serve it with Chinese food!
November 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm
If your egg-sucking brat wants to save the salad course for later, why not let them? Delayed gratification is a character-builder.
November 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm
You should write a book on child-rearing, Zip.
November 9, 2012 at 5:22 pm
I’ll have to check to see if that’s against one of my restraining orders or not.
November 9, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Ghost write it. For yourself. You could use a name like “Honest Abe” or “Totally Legal Dan”.
November 9, 2012 at 9:03 pm
OpenStalker is good for managing restraining order data. I mean, a friend told me that.
November 9, 2012 at 9:38 pm
I’m gonna write it as “Not that one guy in Rockford.”
November 10, 2012 at 9:44 am
Zippy, you live in Rockford, IL ?
November 10, 2012 at 11:35 am
No, my car broke down there once and I saw a creepy guy.
November 9, 2012 at 6:06 pm
PUT A BIRD ON IT!
November 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm
I figured it was the kid’s head after he slipped out of the belt and fell on the floor.
November 9, 2012 at 4:04 pm
That takes me back to the old Orphanage…..sweet, sweet memories. The beatings weren’t that sweet, and the gruel was awful and the loneliness was unbearable, but otherwise the memories were sweet.
November 9, 2012 at 4:23 pm
What with belts for seating, belts for beating and production line conveyor belts for “activity time”, I’m not surprised you buckled down and made something of yourself.
November 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm
That’s how I became such a strapping lad.
November 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Who else has suspendered disbelief right now?
November 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm
My imagination is exercising restraint right now.
November 9, 2012 at 8:59 pm
I would tie one on with bothofyouse!
November 10, 2012 at 9:47 am
Shouldn’t we halter this train of puns?
November 9, 2012 at 4:27 pm
You had gruel? You lucky sods!
November 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm
It was actually imitation gruel. I just say “gruel” to make it sound classy.
November 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I would have given anything for some sod!
November 9, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Yeah, but have you seen sod prices? We’re not made of sod, you know!
November 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm
*sadly goes back to eating money*
November 9, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Don’t be sad, Zip. We have so much Confederate money lying around, and it’s such a good source of essential fiber and inks and defeat.
November 9, 2012 at 9:41 pm
The tears of Strom Thurmond are like sweet nectar. I just hope the South doesn’t rise again. At least not while I’m sleeping.
November 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Wire in the Blood: The Early Years
November 9, 2012 at 4:05 pm
i think baby threw up a hairball.
November 11, 2012 at 7:06 pm
No one puts Baby in a highchair
November 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm
Maybe the hairball was sitting in the chair when the photo shoot started. You turn your back for one second…
November 9, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Does it come with wire hangers?
November 9, 2012 at 4:19 pm
NO MORE WIRE HANGERS…EVER!!!!!
November 9, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Every time that one gets used, Joan Crawford has to take a time out in the closet. If the picture gets posted she also has to eat a moth ball. Think of Joan! Just kidding, screw her.
November 9, 2012 at 6:08 pm
does she have to sit on the stool of shameless celebrities?
November 9, 2012 at 4:09 pm
that crack running up the middle denotes “great shape”?
that’s gonna hurt like a mofo when it pinches
November 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm
That is why it comes with a belt…to prevent you from squirming thus not getting pinched.
November 10, 2012 at 7:57 am
Jeebus, think of the ass splinters…
November 11, 2012 at 11:13 am
Don’t worry, the belt-thrashings will make sure the ass splinters are the least of your worries.
November 9, 2012 at 4:13 pm
If I’m paying $195, you’d better throw in a lifetime supply of antibacterial ointment or something. That’s pretty expensive for a broken-down chair.
November 9, 2012 at 4:16 pm
It’s really the character and personality you’re paying for.
November 9, 2012 at 4:18 pm
By “character”, do you mean all the dreams that were crushed at an early age in that thing?
November 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Yes, I think they soak into the wood. Liberally seasoned with fear and despair.
November 9, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Oh, that shit has a dark energy that no amount of chipped, toxic, albeit whimsically colored, paint could ever override.
November 10, 2012 at 3:58 am
If I would have wanted to pay for personality I would have joined a sorority in college.
November 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Material things are temporary, lead poisoning is forever!
November 9, 2012 at 4:26 pm
You’re more paying for the time it took her to contrive that load of bullshit about the chair.
….or you are paying for the right to be THAT much of a pretentious douche that would actually buy that for a child to sit in.
Tough call.
November 9, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Nothing says Mother of the Year like a toddler with splinters in their ass and a concussion:-/
November 9, 2012 at 4:17 pm
Award Bonus- Mom can beat the child with the leather restraining belt. It’s multi-purpose.
November 9, 2012 at 4:16 pm
Isn’t a high chair supposed to have a tray? This is just a tall chair with a belt on it.
November 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Now you’re making assumption about “feeding” I think this is a chair for free-range babies.
November 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Is it me or is it crooked as well? I can’t tell if it is the angle of the belt messing with me or if the picture is tilted or if the chair is really leaning to the side…
Because if it is, this is even more perfect for a baby/young child.
Cause all us good parents know, there is nothing more relaxed and calm then a small child belted into cracked leaning chair from hell’s circus to make a child nice and quiet during dinner time.
Might as well just string the kid up by his feet and throw cheerios at it – save the 195 – my guess is the experience would be about the same. Then you will have extra for therapy later.
November 9, 2012 at 6:12 pm
This must be where the free-range strippers come from.
November 9, 2012 at 6:45 pm
Free-range babies! You hurt me with the funnies, Zip!
November 9, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I don’t think it’s a high char. Doesn’t look too tall. Just looks like a normal ratty chair. With a belt.
November 9, 2012 at 4:18 pm
Wait. It’s painted like that on purpose? I was thinking if I sanded it down, sealed the crack in the seat, painted it, and torched that awful belt, I could give it to my grandma to set one of her creepy dolls in. If I had a grandma who collected creepy dolls.
November 9, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Everyone’s grandma collects those. If you haven’t seen them yet they are reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally creepy. Sorry about your lose of innocence just now.
November 9, 2012 at 5:07 pm
True story: The first time my mom stayed over my grandmother (her mother-in-law)’s house, she got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, took a wrong turn, and ended up in THE DOLL ROOM.
November 9, 2012 at 5:13 pm
How long ago did this happen and have you seen her since and did she display life-like characteristics?
November 9, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Hell, that ain’t nothin’. When I was staying with my husband’s grandparents, they insisted we should sleep in the master bedroom. Which is where Granmaw keeps her creepy doll collection. On shelves that wrap around the entire room.
We couldn’t say no. Southern hospitality is not to be denied. But I felt bad that elderly people were sleeping on a pull-out couch for us. I also felt bad that I had to sleep in a room where I was outnumbered by several hundred creepy dolls.
We’d close the light, and I’d whisper to my husband, “They’re still staring.”
November 9, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Neither of my grandmothers collected dolls. One had one doll she had treasured since childhood, although it had an amazing wardrobe. The other grandma put pictures of her family all over the house. Pictures of her grandkids featured prominently in her bedroom. It was really weird seeing at all my cousins, siblings, and me facing left but looking up and slightly to the right. Sears really needed to switch up their poses more often.
November 9, 2012 at 6:59 pm
Neither of my grandmothers collected dolls, either.
My maternal grandma was a no-nonsense farmwife who collected small, decorative pitchers, but only because other people gave them to her.
If my paternal grandmother had collected dolls, every one of them would have looked just like her.
November 9, 2012 at 9:03 pm
I had a doll that collected creepy Grandmothers–I still cash some of the SS checks.
November 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Painted, shmainted. They didn’t do any more ‘work’ on that chair aside from hauling it out of someone’s garbage pile.
It would look pretty awesome with a creepy doll in it, though.
November 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm
My grandma collected creepy dolls. Her favorite was one she’d had since childhood. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie. No hair, and the face all cracked and burnt looking.
That doll would look right at home in this chair. Alas, we buried it with her last year. Ah, memories.
November 10, 2012 at 10:39 am
Had she died or were you just punishing her for her bad taste in collectibles?
November 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I’m having a hard time imagining Eugene Hütz sitting in this.
November 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm
That’s EXACTLY who I pictured sitting in it!!!
November 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Oi! Lef-tenant Uhura! A tribble aight yar bahbay!
-Star Trek 7 The Search for Nemo
November 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm
That’s the trouble with tribbles…
November 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm
It starts with a nibble when the tribble wants her kibble, then the blood begins to dribble but we don’t have to quibble; that’s what you get for being edible.
November 9, 2012 at 5:20 pm
Oh, and our local nerd theater group is presenting a live version of The Trouble With Tribbles at a park next summer. Fresh from their triumph on The Journey to Babel last summer and Mirror Mirror before that. I missed when they did Amok Time and may never forgive myself. LIVE ACTION STAR TREK, BITCHES!!!
November 9, 2012 at 5:37 pm
Yes! I can’t believe it’s the last season for Trek in the Park, but at least they’re leaving us with tribbles. I didn’t know you were in my neck of the NW, Zippy.
November 9, 2012 at 6:23 pm
Nerd theater group? I live in the wrong city!!
November 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm
I might be in the neighbor with all the missing cat posters, Gypsy, but I swear I had nothing to do with those delicious, delicious cats.
My nearest microbrewery is Lompoc 5Q. You?
Shut up, haters, that’s how we determine location in Portland.
November 9, 2012 at 5:02 pm
Gypsy high chair? Where in the wagon would they have space for that piece of junk?
November 9, 2012 at 5:22 pm
That, and I resent on their behalf the suggestion that the Romany strap their children into ass-pinching chairs with belts.
November 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm
The Romneys are the ones who did that.
November 9, 2012 at 5:42 pm
This is an insult to gypsies.
November 9, 2012 at 5:50 pm
I hate to get all pissy and serious (I still think it’s funny) but this is fairly patronizing to actual gypsy folk.
Gypsies either refer to ‘travelers’ in the West, generally moving from place to place with caravans (this type of gypsy stuff on Etsy kind of smacks of glamorizing poverty, AKA hobo wedding), OR the term refers to Roma/Romany people in some parts of Europe. My ‘gypsy’ great-uncles were of the latter and both were gassed in a concentration camp.
But, this is Regretsy, so let’s bring in some levity. This chair looks like an unsafe piece of hoarder trash and no, painting it circus colors won’t change that. I’m drunk again. SKITTLES OUT
November 9, 2012 at 9:51 pm
*mic drop*
November 10, 2012 at 5:27 am
In the UK this listing would be reportable as a race-hate insult. Honestly.
November 10, 2012 at 11:40 am
Does Cher know about this?
November 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm
Pinched in the bum
And you’re to blame
Darlin’, you give gypsies
A bad name
November 9, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Reminds me of the chair I had when I was a kid.
November 9, 2012 at 5:36 pm
So wait, that’s the NEW paint job?
November 10, 2012 at 11:45 am
I’m not falling for that crap either. “New” implies “not lead-based” so I see why they’re doing it. But that doesn’t make it right.
November 9, 2012 at 6:19 pm
Have you seen the My Big Gypsy Wedding show? If I am to believe and further perpetuate the gypsy sterotype this thing should be bedazzled, tulled out the wazoo, and have LED lights flashing. Furthermore, there are no butterflies, screaming fathers, or gold statuettes.
November 9, 2012 at 6:20 pm
stereotype* whoops.
November 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm
stereotypo
November 9, 2012 at 8:28 pm
Those were Pavee, not Romani “gypsies” >.>
November 10, 2012 at 3:17 am
I don’t have cable. My 18+ year old cat Peeve, speaks of “his tribe” so fondly. He made me watch it once at a friend’s house, I must have mixed up all the terminology. He is known for his roaming as well.
November 9, 2012 at 7:10 pm
I suspect the seller breathed in a lot of lead-paint dust while “refurbishing” this chair, which is the only explanation I can think of for their asking $195 + $50 for what amounts to a stack of toxic kindling.
November 9, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Hey! With this chair, you can make your own Kreepy Krapper, or whatever that thing was called!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/107668378/chic-country-cottage-chair
November 10, 2012 at 3:14 am
OH dear. That shop has all sorts of strange shit. I’m confused by the rat’s nest napkin rings. and the buffalo plaid pet/doll bed…
November 9, 2012 at 8:24 pm
Uhh, nevermind that “gypsy” is an offensive racial slur, this chair looks like crap.
November 10, 2012 at 3:12 am
But Scamp, she added the word chic when slurring… that makes it all better?
November 9, 2012 at 8:47 pm
“For that ‘special’ child”? I think medication would be cheaper.
November 9, 2012 at 9:29 pm
And less humiliating and/or scarring. For everyone involved.
November 10, 2012 at 3:20 am
I thought it said, meditation! Then i was picturing a child strapped in and forced to meditate! “CLOSE YOUR EYES DAMMIT! DEEP BREATH IN, (just not too deep, the lead paint dust will do quite a number on your lungs, though it might make the visualization a little easier)”
November 9, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Abu Ghraib went downmarket.
November 10, 2012 at 5:26 am
This is definitely an SCP object.
(http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-series-2)
Contact the Foundation and have them administrate class-B amnesiacs to everyone on Regretsy. I bet it eats the person sitting in it, or the parent, or transports them into a parallel universe where an enormous green monster is found down an endless dark flight of stairs.
November 10, 2012 at 6:31 am
This thing has children’s safety stamped all over it! A broken seat, chipping paint, and an old belt! Anyone know the romani term for racist garbage?
November 10, 2012 at 6:46 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
November 10, 2012 at 12:32 pm
Yeah, I’m thinking if one of my kids’ grandparents bought this chair, they wouldn’t be doing much babysitting.
BTW, I love wooden high chairs, and I actually got one for my kids. The difference? It didn’t have old chipping paint on it, I didn’t paint it to LOOK like it had old chipping paint on it, it wasn’t cracked, it had a secure strap to hold the child in, and I paid only $80 for it. Because I’m not an idiot.
November 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm
I had a highchair like this when I was a baby, but my mother certainly didn’t pay nearly $200 for it…
November 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm
It’s just a shame it’s so small. It would really brighten up the local nursing home.