Just the Tip
I got one of these last week. I really like it, but only one finger stays warm, which isn’t that convenient. I guess I’ll have to buy 4 more.
You know what would be great – and this is totally just blue sky here – but what if you could connect them all? Maybe even cover the back of the hand and palm too? I don’t know. It’s probably not even possible! I guess that’s why I don’t have an Etsy store.
November 1, 2012 at 10:03 am
GLINGERS ARE FINALLY REAL
November 1, 2012 at 10:04 am
Oh the debauchery that one finger must get into
November 1, 2012 at 10:44 am
or douchery…
November 1, 2012 at 12:45 pm
That’s why I use plastic instead of knitted yarn; it seals in the smell.
November 1, 2012 at 10:05 am
I feel like it’s a kind disguise for what is really a tiny, tiny, penis cozy.
November 1, 2012 at 10:05 am
A perfect finger-condom for the organic-conscious hippy proctologist.
November 1, 2012 at 11:42 am
Takes a lot of lube, though.
November 1, 2012 at 11:54 am
But then you can squeeze it out after and reuse it.
Holy shit that was gross. My own mind works against me sometimes.
November 1, 2012 at 10:06 am
After years of working around heavy machinery in a non-OSHA compliant shop, I am glad that there is finally a product that is custom made for me. Do you know how frustrating it is to have to pay for gloves with all five digits, when four of them are going to be unused?
November 1, 2012 at 11:12 am
Hey, wait a minute…
How do we know that they didn’t buy a glove for 10 Euros, cut the fingers off and are now selling each finger for 10 Euros? Maybe the thumb is even more.
And what if they employ starving pacific rim natives to cut the fingers of and are merely resellers from a creative collective.
November 1, 2012 at 11:31 am
Reselling?! On Etsy?! Perish the thought. They have the finest crack team of hipsters investigators making sure such a thing never could happen.
November 1, 2012 at 10:07 am
I’m buying one for my man. I don’t like cold fingers in my vagina.
November 1, 2012 at 10:12 am
Here’s hoping neither of you develop a sudden wool allergy.
November 1, 2012 at 10:27 am
You don’t want to end up with “Lanolin Vagina”. I’ve heard it’s a terrible affliction.
November 1, 2012 at 10:34 am
There’s a similar problem among male Highlanders. Dreadful.
November 1, 2012 at 10:40 am
Ah yes. “Mutton Penis”. Horrible, horrible condition.
November 1, 2012 at 10:15 am
How do they know it’s for men?
November 1, 2012 at 11:44 am
The one for women is pink. Just ask Bic.
November 1, 2012 at 7:14 pm
So that’s why people keep mistaking me for a guy! I wear black gloves!
November 1, 2012 at 10:08 am
Why I’ll give this thing the finger!
November 5, 2012 at 12:18 pm
Oh shit, my 12 year old daughter saw this thing and squealed, “I WANT THAT!!!”
Where have I gone wrong?!
November 1, 2012 at 10:08 am
It could really work well for me in the coming winter months, when I flip other drivers off out my car window so often that a middle-finger warmer might make sense.
November 1, 2012 at 10:32 am
I bet you could use one with a built-in electric warmer.
November 1, 2012 at 10:36 am
Good idea. I could also fray the wires so that I get an electric shock that irritates me more so that I really “sell” the flip-off.
November 1, 2012 at 10:40 am
I think that was a feature on one of the later Aston Martins in the Bond movies.
November 1, 2012 at 10:57 am
I remember when you had to use the car’s cigarette lighter socket for electro-stimulus. Depending on how deserted a road you were on, it often took a long time for someone to drive by and jump your dead battery. Kids have it so easy today.
November 1, 2012 at 11:00 am
I used to flip people off two at a time, uphill both ways and in the snow, too! Bah! Friggin’ kids today, grumblemumble grr mumble…..
November 1, 2012 at 10:09 am
Icelandic wool + lots of character = too much excitement for me. Do you have anything with less character than gray?
November 1, 2012 at 10:11 am
I think they may have an “off-gray” that totally inhibits enthusiasm in most people.
November 1, 2012 at 10:14 am
Dull gray might be available in case the vibrancy of this shade is too much.
November 1, 2012 at 10:22 am
Yes, but it comes from the basement stock of the local thrift shop.
November 1, 2012 at 10:51 am
In this case, ‘lots of character’ = scratchy as all fucking hell. You don’t want this anywhere near your bajingo or meat puppet, that’s for sure.
November 3, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Ecru. Or taupe.
November 3, 2012 at 4:22 pm
and the world needs to understand that there is no such thing as a lovely taupe!
November 1, 2012 at 10:11 am
BRB; snipping all the fingers off latex gloves and calling them ‘fetish closed rings’. Here comes affordable early retirement!
November 1, 2012 at 10:11 am
There are a few places I can think of that this would be good for scratching. I won’t elaborate.
November 1, 2012 at 10:12 am
What would it take for it to not be ready to ship? The Flu?
November 1, 2012 at 10:24 am
Accidentally making the whole glove, like a sane person.
November 1, 2012 at 10:37 am
That would suck! I mean, you’d have to start all over!
November 1, 2012 at 10:42 am
Iceland just called and said; “Send more sheep!”
November 1, 2012 at 7:18 pm
Or you could go to K-Mart and buy a pair for under $3. Though I doubt they’d be made of scratchy Icelandic wool woven from yaks (or whatever the hell they get wool from in Iceland), so it just wouldn’t be creamy at all.
November 1, 2012 at 10:15 am
This is my Halloween costume for next year.
November 1, 2012 at 10:23 am
You must be a really tiny giraffe!
November 1, 2012 at 10:16 am
Obviously, this knitter likes doing fingers, but the whole hand parts connecting them are just too…
OHHHHHHH!
SHINEY!!!
November 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm
oH, but here she is sooooo close, but just hasn’t got the hang of it yet.
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November 1, 2012 at 10:16 am
I’ve been looking for ways to make the touch-screen on my phone be less responsive and accurate. Thank you, Etsy
- another satisfied moron
November 1, 2012 at 10:20 am
November 1, 2012 at 10:21 am
outstanding!!!!
November 1, 2012 at 10:28 am
No, no! For that you have to buy a MIDDLE finger cozy! Such a fashion faux pas!
November 1, 2012 at 10:33 am
It’s multipurpose.
November 1, 2012 at 10:20 am
if only it had googly eyes and a little red smile…dare i dream that to be the ‘deluxe finger warmer’?
guess i’ll stick with baggies for now…
November 1, 2012 at 10:22 am
I’m going to give this to Frodo for Christmas for when his stump aches in the cold weather.
November 1, 2012 at 10:22 am
Who would be able to keep track of a single, knitted finger? I lose whole gloves.
November 1, 2012 at 10:33 am
You simply attach a long chain from your nose ring to the finger-warmer. Then you simply run another chain to one of your earrings. Then it’s one more easy step to run yet another chain to your wallet. Then you’ll never lose any of your hipster gear. Or you’ll lose all of it. Either way, you should buy a whole bunch of chain.
November 1, 2012 at 10:41 am
When I was 13 I wanted one of those ear piercings that connect to a nose piercing and lip piercing, and have a little charm on them.
Now I can combine it with my love of utterly useless junk! TO THE PIERCERS.
November 1, 2012 at 10:45 am
Congratulations on your new chain shop, by the way Matt.
November 1, 2012 at 10:49 am
Thanks, Zip. For those interested, it’s called “The Missing Link”, and there’s a hipster-quiz you have to take to be able to shop there.
November 1, 2012 at 10:56 am
Please share it. I need to know right now if I would pass. It’s a life or death type situation.
November 1, 2012 at 11:02 am
I hear there’s a market for chains that break with less force than it takes to pull a piercing through a nipple or other tender body-bit. That would save some tears.
November 1, 2012 at 11:06 am
Yeah, but that’s not very sexy.
November 1, 2012 at 11:04 am
Hipster Quiz:
1. How many ironic t-shirts do you own?
2. Do you own an ironic mustache, or do you rent?
3. How many speeds does your bike have?
4. You’re wearing an ironic trucker hat when you suddenly find out on your iPhone that they went out of style 10 minutes ago. You’re at Starbucks. What do you do?
November 1, 2012 at 11:12 am
1. Does my “FUCK YOU I’M FROM TEXAS” t-shirt count? I wore it in NYC once…
2. Neither! I grow my own, although not ironically.
3. I honestly don’t even know if I have a bike.
4. What?
November 1, 2012 at 11:22 am
So sorry, Angel. The correct answers should have been:
1. All of them
2. Rent- because you never know when they’ll go out of style, and you might have to ditch it quick.
3. One. Never more.
4. You throw the hat at the Starbucks barista and say “it’s your problem now, asshole!” and ride off slowly on your one speed bike.
November 1, 2012 at 11:27 am
I GET TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!
Yay!
November 1, 2012 at 11:28 am
Also, I don’t get the 1-speed bike thing. Are you serious about that? WTF?
November 1, 2012 at 11:37 am
oh yes, it’s a one speed alright. You win more points if it can be referred to as a beach comber. Add 20 points if it has a crocheted slip-cover (for the bike, not just the seat) and 400 points if you have ironic streamers blowing in the wind.
November 1, 2012 at 12:54 pm
“Hey so Matt, could you take a look at these print outs of the…… *WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
down the hole. that sneaky carpet.
November 1, 2012 at 12:55 pm
AWWW man, I went too far up the feed!! That was supposed to go at the bottom!
November 1, 2012 at 2:40 pm
But do you ever do any drillin’? My shop had several different ways to do that!
November 1, 2012 at 11:39 am
Hmmm, I dunno. Shouldn’t Angel get extra ironical points for not knowing/caring about the bike?
Also, WHERE IS THE IRONIC TRUCKER HAT STORE?? I must have one!!
November 1, 2012 at 11:42 am
The trucker hat store is located in an old fire station building. The staff all come down to help you by way of sliding pole.
November 1, 2012 at 11:55 am
Anything that involves firefighters + truckers + sliding down poles is A-OK by me.
November 1, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I work in an 1800s fire house. It still has the hole for the pole, but not the pole.
November 1, 2012 at 12:26 pm
You work at an Urban Outfitters?
Ahhh. the irony. the hole, but no pole…
-That’s what she said.
November 1, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Matt,can you confirm or deny that your desk is behind the hole upstairs and you have a carpet over the hole?
November 1, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Carpet over the hole… well, i guess if the drapes match the carpet… and the carpet is above the hole, therefor…
I got lost.
November 1, 2012 at 12:42 pm
And it’s called The Strip Joint? How do you not chuckle and leer like a weirdo in the park every single day on the way to work?
November 1, 2012 at 12:44 pm
How do you know for sure he doesn’t?
November 1, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Good point, that was a big assumption…
November 1, 2012 at 12:56 pm
see way above. i told you i was lost!
November 1, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Holy shit I missed a lot of speculation here. I don’t have a desk, Zip. But I have a spray gun and lots of wood.
November 1, 2012 at 1:59 pm
heh heh… you said wood.
November 1, 2012 at 2:05 pm
There’s actually lots of hardwood here. Lots of it. And the spray gun sprays very well. You could really spray all over the place if you wanted to.
November 1, 2012 at 2:17 pm
how about a nail gun? i love the Ba-BAM! of a nail gun!
November 1, 2012 at 2:36 pm
Yup. I’ve got 3 nailguns personally. Ba-Bam.
November 1, 2012 at 2:42 pm
(Repeat due to getting above) Do you do any drillin’? We had lots of different ways to do that in my shop.
November 1, 2012 at 2:46 pm
I love the smell of nail gun sweat.
Like paint, it’s the smell of progress.
November 1, 2012 at 2:47 pm
How about screws? I bet you have jars full of screws in all sizes and big power screwdrivers, right?
November 1, 2012 at 2:50 pm
OH! you are in RI. Do you know the guy from RRRROUGH CUT?
He’s such a tool.
Rhode Island is that small a place right?
November 2, 2012 at 5:08 am
Wow, you guys n’ gals were busy last night.
Zip- Yes, we have drill presses and drills of all sizes.
Lettuce- Yup, all kinds of screws and cordless power screwdrivers
Lovinglymadewithspite- I do not know the guy from Rrrrrough Cut. Who is he?
November 1, 2012 at 10:25 am
When designing a product, research into consumer need is crucial to its success. Luckily, she -much like the designer of the Segway- nailed it.
November 1, 2012 at 10:34 am
Made from Icelandic wool? All I see is a Viking Tampon..
November 1, 2012 at 10:47 am
You’re not opening your mind to the possibilities, darkmoonlady. You’ve got to think outside the Valhalla.
November 1, 2012 at 10:49 am
She ain’t no Valhalla-back girl, Matt!
November 1, 2012 at 11:39 am
But does her milkshake bring all the vikings to the yard?
November 1, 2012 at 11:56 am
It brings them all to the fjord.
November 1, 2012 at 12:28 pm
It’s better than Bjork’s.
November 1, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Cuz her swan is better than yours?
November 1, 2012 at 10:43 am
Buy warm gloves. Cut off fingers. Sell fingers. Sell fingerless gloves. I’m rich. I’m rich, I tell you! (I did wear fingerless gloves for years when I did transcription for a living. My hand froze even in the summer, but needed agility in the fingers. Will I lose my Regretsy card if I say I bought the fingerless gloves on Etsy?)
I guess these could be used to keep a peen under wraps. Masturbation prevention? Don’t want little Johnny discovering his baby maker too young.
November 1, 2012 at 10:48 am
Instead of “bringing manufacturing back” to restore our economy, we just have to cut our shit up into smaller, less useful shit and resell it! Your move, China!
November 1, 2012 at 10:52 am
One pair of pants = Two full-length leg warmers
One pair of underwear = Two upper-thigh/lower-hip warmers
One long sleeve shirt = Two arm warmers AND one torso warmer
One eyepatch = One upper eyelid warmer AND one lower eyelid warmer
November 1, 2012 at 11:05 am
This reminds me of a girl in Philly affectionately called scary mary. She would wear a bra over another bra and say “2 bras equal a shirt.” Which of course spurred many other sayings such as two hats equal a wig etc…
November 1, 2012 at 11:11 am
One jockstrap = Two ball cozies
One condom = One Welsh Witch Wand grip AND one “Peengler”. (or “Glinis”?)
November 1, 2012 at 10:52 am
“Lots of character?” All I see is a dirty wool finger cover, any ‘character’ would be coming from said finger. So the real question here is: What the fuck are they doing with their fingers in Iceland?
November 1, 2012 at 11:00 am
Oh look they even carry ones for thalidomide fingers
http://www.etsy.com/listing/112658488/tapir-two-fingers-puppet-violet-mustard
There really is a demand for thalidomide glingers
November 1, 2012 at 11:05 am
Oh that is just wrong! Why do I want one so badly now? Argh. Must cleanse eyes.
November 1, 2012 at 11:54 am
From the description: “can be used for play, as home décor and as a pocket friend.
A couple of tapirs makes a fun gift for a handmade-wedding.”
First of all, double glingers as a “pocket friend” is a super obvious joke, but as a WEDDING GIFT? Only if it’s for people you truly wish to never see again.
November 1, 2012 at 11:39 am
um, so that would be a singular glinger?
November 1, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Would that then be called a glingi?
November 1, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Glingon.
November 1, 2012 at 11:44 am
I would not give this to a friend.
November 1, 2012 at 11:55 am
Would you give it to anemone?
November 1, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Would you say it’s just a trend?
Would you wear it in the cold?
Would you ever be that bold?
November 1, 2012 at 12:21 pm
“I’m gonna need that in an XXXXXL.”
- Sissy Hankshaw
November 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm
When she finger-banged you, you know you got banged!
November 1, 2012 at 12:42 pm
I suppose you could say the same for Edward Scissorhands. Or Freddy Krueger. Talk about “closed ring”. Yikes!
November 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm
Is the classic hit “She Bangs” performed by the illustrious Ricky Martin in reference to this “Sissy Hankshaw” of which you speak?
November 2, 2012 at 2:08 pm
“of which you speak” usually emits an air of sarcasm.
November 1, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Oh cool, I’ve been looking for cockroach sleeping bags everywhere.
November 1, 2012 at 3:14 pm
You’ve made this Entomologist very happy
November 1, 2012 at 1:31 pm
The best part is that I saw this on the front page awhile ago. You know, that place where all of the really quality Etsy stuff goes.
November 1, 2012 at 1:42 pm
Ok… I admit it. I own one of these. But I have no idea why they called it a “finger warmer.” My experience with these little gadgets, is that they are for use (mostly by seamstresses and tailors) while ironing clothes that get a bit fiddly. It allows you to press on fabric close to the iron without burning yourself. Kind of like an oven mitt for your pointer finger. But a finger warmer? That’s silly!
November 1, 2012 at 1:48 pm
I look at that, and want to yell “Mazel Tov!”
November 1, 2012 at 6:10 pm
Nothing says “I’m too fucking lazy to finish a project” like selling a single finger of a glove.
November 2, 2012 at 3:17 pm
Am I the only one who thinks that hand is really hot? I love that bit of hair on his wrist. Wow, he should be a professional hand model.
November 3, 2012 at 1:23 pm
So this is your hand, isn’t it?