Woah, calm down. That’s not just any stick: that stick has been sharpened and wrapped with wire. Do you KNOW how long it takes to wrap an inch of a stick with wire?
About 5 minutes – and that includes finding a pair of pliers, and putting them away again at the end. So that’s, what, $260 an hour? What are they in their second life – a lawyer? #hobbyistBeader
Finn: “Looks like the perp took ribbed for her pleasure to heart.”
Munch: “It’s the condom companies fault, they should title them ribbed for her pleasure but only when she says yes. What is this world coming to?”
It’s not even a well-carved stick. My husband loves woodworking, and made wands for my sons and nephew for their Harry Potter play, and his look a thousand times nicer than this. With intricate carved details. And wrapped wire, sure. But are we selling them?? Oh, hey……maybe I should put his ass to work???
Actually beech burns very well – probably is the best use for it – or you could use it to make cheap, nasty beer. “Chips of beech wood are used in the brewing of Budweiser beer as a fining agent.”
When I think of all the stout-hearted goddess wands I’ve thrown away while doing yard work… or given to the dog… Not to mention all the inspiring backdrops I’ve passed by at the thrift store. If I had $22 for every missed opportunity…
I think “embrace the virtues” is going to become a new euphemism for foreplay in my household. I’m gonna go embrace the virtues of Mr. Mistletoe. Awwww yeah.
Thumb thick? But that’s borderline illegal to beat my spouse with. I’m not paying $22 just to end up in a legal grey area. I’ll need mine cash for brybing yon magistrate.
Also, who’s thumb? Because I am not delicate hand model but comparing it to my own thumbs, it looks a little stocky. I even compared my thumb to the fat ass of my own jeans to make sure I was comparing fairly.
I’d say it looks a bit like a poo, but if your skirt is that gigantic it loses too much accuracy…
Nah, but it’s not really that bad (by Regretsy standards, by which I mean none). $22 is a bit pricey for a stick, of course, but look at the crapton that people spend on herbal remedies and lottery tickets. At least here you get to keep the stick and wave it at fundies to scare them.
Dang, I’ve got a lot of sticks in my yard. I think I’m missing a golden marketing opportunity! Does anyone want a Maple stick? It has magical properties. Or so the gnomes who live in the tree tell me.
A pagan friend informs me there are certain woods they sometimes burn together on Mayday. You could probably find out what they are and sell a bundle of all of them if they grow where you live. Ideally without a stupid description, but then it might be hard to sell it on Etsy.
The “Wand of Change” gets its name from the hobos that would shake it at people while begging for spare change on street corners in the Bowery section of New York City.
The wand could magically produce pennies, nickels and dimes from people using a special metal “guilt transducer” wrapped around the stick.
Hurricane Sandy is inbound where I am. With any luck, I’ll soon have some magikal sticks of my own to sell! Let’s see…”Torn from the loving embrace of mother tree by the furious fury of the Storm of the Century ™, this stick I found in the gutter Magick Wand of Great Power ™ calls to all those with a sense of adventure, those who embrace the storm, and those few who are dense enough to buy a twenty-dollar stick from a faceless stranger on the internet.”
If wrapping a coil of copper around something doesn’t make it magical, then you explain how generators and alcohol stills give me the ability to produce profligate energy, light up a room, entertain myself AND have electricty!
“Pointed sticks? Ho, ho, ho. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh?”
I think the description would maybe elicit a purchase if it read “You’re darn right this is a magic wand. My kids’ bad attitudes changed hella fast when I waved my wand.”
October 28, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Don’t you know? Denim is the new majikaal barnwood!
October 28, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Twenty-two dollars. For a STICK. Idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg
October 28, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Woah, calm down. That’s not just any stick: that stick has been sharpened and wrapped with wire. Do you KNOW how long it takes to wrap an inch of a stick with wire?
October 28, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Huh. Damn, I didn’t see the wire. Okay then. /sarcasm
October 28, 2012 at 4:12 pm
About 5 minutes – and that includes finding a pair of pliers, and putting them away again at the end. So that’s, what, $260 an hour? What are they in their second life – a lawyer? #hobbyistBeader
October 28, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I know it all looks very different after a day of watching L&O SVU.
October 28, 2012 at 7:45 pm
Finn: “Looks like the perp took ribbed for her pleasure to heart.”
Munch: “It’s the condom companies fault, they should title them ribbed for her pleasure but only when she says yes. What is this world coming to?”
October 29, 2012 at 7:00 am
It’s not even a well-carved stick. My husband loves woodworking, and made wands for my sons and nephew for their Harry Potter play, and his look a thousand times nicer than this. With intricate carved details. And wrapped wire, sure. But are we selling them?? Oh, hey……maybe I should put his ass to work???
October 29, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Totally. Do you know what those HP wand replicas go for? Original ones that look as good should go over quite well.
October 28, 2012 at 4:05 pm
To cast a spell on all your enemies to forever be wearing Mom Jeans.
October 28, 2012 at 5:32 pm
Ooooh, you are EVIL!!
October 28, 2012 at 4:06 pm
It’s like they are encouraging the buyer to stick it up their arse.
October 28, 2012 at 4:08 pm
well it is a threshold wand, maybe that’s the threshold they want the buyer to cross. With lube and heavy breathing anything is possible.
October 29, 2012 at 11:45 am
I thought “threshold” implied a good jamb.
October 29, 2012 at 12:02 pm
And it’s sharpened on BOTH ends. A double ended dong! Share with your partner…or not.
October 28, 2012 at 4:42 pm
I’m also disturbed by the juxtaposition of sharpened stick and seat of pants.
October 29, 2012 at 6:45 am
That’s what I was thinking. “are you brave enough” to shove this pointed stick up your ass? The ass of jeans background is a subliminal message.
October 28, 2012 at 4:07 pm
“one who embraces life’s quest with stout heart and strong Goddess trust”
Is it a dildo or a wand?
October 28, 2012 at 4:25 pm
So that’s what the wire wrap is for!
October 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm
“trust,” not “thrust”
October 28, 2012 at 4:09 pm
“one day its owner will arrive… one day”
… and throw it into the fireplace after realizing it ain’t good for anything else.
October 28, 2012 at 5:38 pm
Actually beech burns very well – probably is the best use for it – or you could use it to make cheap, nasty beer. “Chips of beech wood are used in the brewing of Budweiser beer as a fining agent.”
October 28, 2012 at 4:12 pm
At least you are getting a stick when you buy the stick. She’s also selling oil that you have to add yourself. But it comes with a spell.
October 28, 2012 at 4:23 pm
ah, that must be where the lube comes into play..
October 28, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I PERCEIVE WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISHED IN THAT LOCATION
October 28, 2012 at 4:17 pm
I gotta wonder: Did the seller escape from the nut hatch and get an Etsy account, or is some brilliant person decide to get rich off of the nuts?
October 28, 2012 at 5:39 pm
beechnuts?
October 28, 2012 at 4:19 pm
When I think of all the stout-hearted goddess wands I’ve thrown away while doing yard work… or given to the dog… Not to mention all the inspiring backdrops I’ve passed by at the thrift store. If I had $22 for every missed opportunity…
October 28, 2012 at 4:21 pm
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October 28, 2012 at 10:00 pm
We’re gonna need a bigger stick.
October 29, 2012 at 2:03 pm
Is size 8 your idea of a large size? Cuz it’s not. Empirically.
I’d kill to be a size 8.
October 28, 2012 at 4:34 pm
“Only a certain kind of person can embrace the virtues of Beech”
Unlike the people who embrace the virtues of Pine. Fuck those guys!
October 28, 2012 at 7:59 pm
I think “embrace the virtues” is going to become a new euphemism for foreplay in my household. I’m gonna go embrace the virtues of Mr. Mistletoe. Awwww yeah.
October 29, 2012 at 9:47 am
“I am now bored, and no longer desire to embrace your virtues, beech”
- My French ex-boyfriend
October 28, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Oh No! look what it magiked the denim skirt into:
![]()
October 28, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Thumb thick? But that’s borderline illegal to beat my spouse with. I’m not paying $22 just to end up in a legal grey area. I’ll need mine cash for brybing yon magistrate.
Also, who’s thumb? Because I am not delicate hand model but comparing it to my own thumbs, it looks a little stocky. I even compared my thumb to the fat ass of my own jeans to make sure I was comparing fairly.
October 29, 2012 at 9:50 am
Pretty sure they landed on it being as thick as a thumb because they used a mystical thumb ring to decorate…I mean, to focus the energy of the wand.
October 28, 2012 at 4:38 pm
ok lets try again
October 28, 2012 at 4:39 pm
She magiked it into a 6th grade home-ec project!
October 29, 2012 at 2:13 am
Home echhh.
October 28, 2012 at 5:21 pm
You have to say “Welsh Witch Wand” five times real fast before I let you drive home.
October 28, 2012 at 5:31 pm
gale?
October 28, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Someday my heroic stick will come…
October 28, 2012 at 5:46 pm
She’s had this thing since 2010. You’ve go t to admire her stick-to-itiveness.
October 28, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Has she branched out into other crafts in the meantime?
October 28, 2012 at 9:16 pm
It probably hasn’t twigged yet that she’s barking mad. Leave her alone beeches.
October 28, 2012 at 9:30 pm
I think you may have gotten to the root of her problem.
October 28, 2012 at 9:33 pm
Yew could be right.
October 29, 2012 at 1:08 am
I wood have to agree, but we should leaf this to the professionals.
October 29, 2012 at 11:40 am
The pros are stumped but a splinter group still beleaves.
October 28, 2012 at 7:30 pm
And to think I gave my neighbor a while pile of Threshold Wands of Change the other day so she could burn them in her wood stove.
What? They were cluttering up the front yard!
October 28, 2012 at 9:31 pm
You say wands of change, I say kindling, let’s call the whole thing off.
October 28, 2012 at 7:51 pm
I’d say it looks a bit like a poo, but if your skirt is that gigantic it loses too much accuracy…
Nah, but it’s not really that bad (by Regretsy standards, by which I mean none). $22 is a bit pricey for a stick, of course, but look at the crapton that people spend on herbal remedies and lottery tickets. At least here you get to keep the stick and wave it at fundies to scare them.
October 28, 2012 at 7:52 pm
But what if your town has more fundies than you can shake a stick at?
October 29, 2012 at 6:03 am
Maybe she’ll combine shipping on two sticks.
October 29, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Worth a try.
October 28, 2012 at 7:51 pm
OK, Ollivander, only a certain person can embrace its virtues. Whatevs. IT’S A FUCKING STICK.
October 28, 2012 at 9:58 pm
A stick sharpened at both ends? Puts me in mind of Lord of the Flies. Replace the denim skirt with a conch shell and I am creeped.
October 28, 2012 at 11:56 pm
“When do we get to defend against point-ed sticks, Sergeant-Major?”
October 29, 2012 at 4:51 am
Dang, I’ve got a lot of sticks in my yard. I think I’m missing a golden marketing opportunity! Does anyone want a Maple stick? It has magical properties. Or so the gnomes who live in the tree tell me.
October 29, 2012 at 8:34 pm
A pagan friend informs me there are certain woods they sometimes burn together on Mayday. You could probably find out what they are and sell a bundle of all of them if they grow where you live. Ideally without a stupid description, but then it might be hard to sell it on Etsy.
October 29, 2012 at 6:12 am
The “Wand of Change” gets its name from the hobos that would shake it at people while begging for spare change on street corners in the Bowery section of New York City.
The wand could magically produce pennies, nickels and dimes from people using a special metal “guilt transducer” wrapped around the stick.
October 29, 2012 at 9:31 am
Oh. I hoped it would somehow facilitate changing my skirt. Like a shoehorn, you know.
October 29, 2012 at 6:43 am
Hurricane Sandy is inbound where I am. With any luck, I’ll soon have some magikal sticks of my own to sell! Let’s see…”Torn from the loving embrace of mother tree by the furious fury of the Storm of the Century ™, this
stick I found in the gutterMagick Wand of Great Power ™ calls to all those with a sense of adventure, those who embrace the storm, and those few who are dense enough to buy a twenty-dollar stick from a faceless stranger on the internet.”October 29, 2012 at 8:14 am
She’s got 23 gd Welsh Wands!!!
October 29, 2012 at 11:01 am
If wrapping a coil of copper around something doesn’t make it magical, then you explain how generators and alcohol stills give me the ability to produce profligate energy, light up a room, entertain myself AND have electricty!
October 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm
“Pointed sticks? Ho, ho, ho. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh?”
November 8, 2012 at 7:35 pm
I think the description would maybe elicit a purchase if it read “You’re darn right this is a magic wand. My kids’ bad attitudes changed hella fast when I waved my wand.”