That’s how I read it the first time and wondered why IT people would look particularly good in it. It didn’t seem a natural with khakis and golf shirts.
“The picture doesn’t do it justice”
1. Well this picture is all I have to make my purchase decision so there’s that
2. Maybe the picture is doing it justice and you can’t accept the train wreck u created
3. True justice for this piece would be an acetylene torch
Hence my theory that she is actually an East European gymnast. I blame the pointy ears on Chernobyl. That is at least a 15.0 finish on the Floor Routine.
I like the special tough at the Elf’s crotch. There’s a glob of glue that’s very jizz-like. And, I was surprised. I assumed Elf jizz would be glittery.
If my boyfriend wore this, I would piss myself laughing, which is something neither of us are into, so I think I’ll pass. It also kind of looks like it was “sculpted” by a fifth-grader, which raises all kinds of disturbing questions.
“This mask would look great on anyone dressing up as a dominant, submissive, or into fetish.”
Ooookay. Setting aside the fact that the female-ness of the main figure isn’t recognizable at all:
-The concept of the mask kinda works on someone who wants to tie a woman up – it advertises “I like to tie up women.” For everyone else, it’s just totally nonsensical. So it’s not really for “anyone dressing up as dominant or submissive.” It’s for straight men and lesbians dressing up as dominant.
-I wonder what “fetish” the artist thinks this is appropriate for? Do they think foot fetishists wear masks? Maybe balloon fetishists? Lactation fetishists? Maybe they meant “anyone into fetishwear,” but that generally means leather, spandex, latex or PVC – not polymer clay.
It just really bugs me when people try to market something to the kink community when their knowledge of said community comes entirely from CSI reruns and vampire movies.
October 27, 2012 at 10:09 am
Hey, if I wanted my nose up someone’s ass as a Halloween costume, I’d go as Paul Ryan.
October 27, 2012 at 11:22 am
You sir win 1000 internets for that
October 27, 2012 at 10:09 am
50 Shades of sculpting resin.
October 27, 2012 at 11:36 am
with fingerprints on them. Undoubtedly sticky fingerprints.
October 27, 2012 at 10:10 am
I never want to run into a “sever” master. Ever. Severe masters are bad enough.
October 27, 2012 at 10:11 am
Yeah, I just logged in to say I hoped that was a typo. -_-;;
October 27, 2012 at 10:30 am
I’m not entirely knowledgeable of the BDSM lifestyle, but I, too, was hoping it was supposed to be severe…
October 27, 2012 at 10:40 am
It better not be “server master”. Those tech support guys are really getting above themselves as it is.
October 27, 2012 at 11:58 am
I thought that was the other name for the sysadmin?
October 27, 2012 at 11:47 pm
That’s how I read it the first time and wondered why IT people would look particularly good in it. It didn’t seem a natural with khakis and golf shirts.
October 27, 2012 at 11:32 pm
A sever master could be handy in the kitchen – I’d love to have someone to chop all the veggies.
October 27, 2012 at 10:14 am
Beware of Elfin Farts. They are notoriously smelly.
October 27, 2012 at 10:22 am
“Tinkersmell! Why???”
October 27, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Actually a fairy but we won’t split hairs over mythical creatures
October 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm
Stinkerbell
October 27, 2012 at 10:26 am
Indeed. We’re talking about making a candle scented of said.
October 27, 2012 at 11:34 pm
But glittery (or is that Butt glittery?)
October 27, 2012 at 10:16 am
o_0
Could anyone ever respect a dom that wore something like this?
‘Check me out, I’m so hardcore I have a tiny woman strapped to the front of my face. Ooooh yeah!’
October 27, 2012 at 11:03 am
Only the hardcorest of hardcore hardcores can pull something like this off and maintain their reputation, that’s for sure.
October 27, 2012 at 3:40 pm
And even they may just bust out laughing hysterically if they catch sight of themselves in the mirror.
October 27, 2012 at 11:36 pm
but, but, it SAYS that it looks great on anyone!
October 27, 2012 at 10:21 am
“You know, it really ruins the mood when you call her ‘fun-size’!” *walks away dejectedly, whip trailing behind*
October 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm
ismynewbandname.tumblr.com/dejected_whip
October 27, 2012 at 10:23 am
Pixie Play
October 27, 2012 at 10:23 am
Why an elf? Is there some sort of elfin fetish merging with bdsm these days?
October 27, 2012 at 10:38 am
Yes, there’s a whole subculture of elvin bondage….
October 27, 2012 at 11:11 am
Well, that’s put me off cookies…
October 27, 2012 at 11:38 pm
You didn’t think that all those elves WANTED to stay in the tree making cookies 7 days a week did you?
October 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm
“The picture doesn’t do it justice”
1. Well this picture is all I have to make my purchase decision so there’s that
2. Maybe the picture is doing it justice and you can’t accept the train wreck u created
3. True justice for this piece would be an acetylene torch
October 27, 2012 at 11:37 pm
I think that I just heard A Million Moms scream!
October 27, 2012 at 11:12 am
“…Three rings for the Elven Kings under this guy…”
October 27, 2012 at 10:29 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 27, 2012 at 10:29 am
Just a little tip from those of us who know such things:
Post-pubescent elves have breasts. Or at the very least, nipples.
And knees, actually, while we’re on the subject.
And eyes.
October 27, 2012 at 10:37 am
Hence my theory that she is actually an East European gymnast. I blame the pointy ears on Chernobyl. That is at least a 15.0 finish on the Floor Routine.
October 27, 2012 at 1:06 pm
You know a great deal about elven anatomy, Mistletoe.
October 28, 2012 at 7:49 pm
Learned it while getting my doctorate in mythobiology.
October 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I just thought the elf was face-down, like those Halloween decorations where it looks like a witch few into a tree while going really fast.
October 28, 2012 at 9:37 am
I’m thinking a belly button also might have been a good idea.
October 27, 2012 at 10:32 am
the eye holes look sharp, added plus.
October 27, 2012 at 11:17 am
They say it’s lined with felt “for comfort” so perhaps that’s the raggedy edge of the trimmed felt.
Unless of course it’s sharp felt. That’s hardcore!
October 27, 2012 at 10:36 am
I really hope the drippy glue around that bottom is only that & not meant to be . . . Something else . . .
October 27, 2012 at 10:40 am
I thought it was a maxi pad, unadvisable to wear with a harness.
October 27, 2012 at 11:19 am
Hey! It’s lovingly handcrafted!
October 28, 2012 at 8:52 am
Lovingly handcuffed.
And anklecuffed.
And going to need a double hip replacement when she wakes up.
October 27, 2012 at 10:44 am
I admit, I was skeptical when the listing said it looks great on ANYONE. So I did an experiment to see if it was true.
What do you know! Color me convinced!
October 27, 2012 at 10:59 am
Now it’s like she’s a cheerleader.
October 27, 2012 at 11:13 am
“Gimme a ‘C’! Gimme an ‘F’! Gimme a ’4′ and an ‘L’!
Regretsy! Regretsy! Go give ‘em hell!”
October 27, 2012 at 11:21 am
Looks frighteningly natural on Betty White.
Somebody hold me…
October 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm
Betty White makes it look natural and classy. Further proof of her awesomeness!
October 27, 2012 at 4:11 pm
*Holds*….*Gropes*
October 27, 2012 at 5:55 pm
oi! Was that you or the elf?
October 27, 2012 at 12:23 pm
You a fucking genius!
I fell off the couch when I saw these!!!!!!!!
Brilliant.
October 27, 2012 at 1:42 pm
October 27, 2012 at 3:31 pm
I see what you did there! Mask within a mask within a mask…
October 27, 2012 at 11:09 am
IMMATURE CONTENT!!!!!
Fixed that for him.
October 27, 2012 at 11:46 am
A fetish for what? Bad sculpture?
October 27, 2012 at 11:47 am
I like the special tough at the Elf’s crotch. There’s a glob of glue that’s very jizz-like. And, I was surprised. I assumed Elf jizz would be glittery.
October 27, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Ugh! I thought possibly she has a yeast infection! Plus, anyone else think that’s her back and her head has twisted right round?
October 27, 2012 at 2:12 pm
And chocolate for the fudge stripe cookies
October 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm
That elf lass has really let herself go. Along with her hair.
October 27, 2012 at 1:31 pm
Who knew Stretch Armstrong was an elf?
October 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm
When I saw the title about the Deluxe Graham, I initially thought the entire mask was made out of/dipped in dark chocolate, and now I can’t unsee it.
…Plus now I’m like 3% aroused, AND I want cookies. DAMN YOU KINKY ELF MASK
October 27, 2012 at 2:21 pm
I too thought Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies. I will never look at those yummy morsels the same again.
October 27, 2012 at 9:29 pm
The Regretsy diet making you sick of your favorite treatS SINCE 2009
October 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm
Doesn’t ANYTHING have a face on it anymore!!!?!?? *sob*
October 27, 2012 at 3:50 pm
I’m getting faced.
October 27, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Eye nose what you’re saying.
October 27, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Maybe it’s a BDSM mindfuck. You’re punished every time you giggle at him.
October 27, 2012 at 3:42 pm
I’d take a lot of punishment for the joy of laughing at someone wearing that.
October 28, 2012 at 7:43 am
If my boyfriend came out wearing this, I’d just preemptively use my safeword. Otherwise I don’t think I’d be able to sit down for like a week.
October 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Now we know how Santa keeps his elves in line.
October 27, 2012 at 4:12 pm
I think Zelda’s getting herself captured by Ganon on purpose now…
October 28, 2012 at 7:40 am
If my boyfriend wore this, I would piss myself laughing, which is something neither of us are into, so I think I’ll pass. It also kind of looks like it was “sculpted” by a fifth-grader, which raises all kinds of disturbing questions.
October 28, 2012 at 10:04 am
“This mask would look great on anyone dressing up as a dominant, submissive, or into fetish.”
Ooookay. Setting aside the fact that the female-ness of the main figure isn’t recognizable at all:
-The concept of the mask kinda works on someone who wants to tie a woman up – it advertises “I like to tie up women.” For everyone else, it’s just totally nonsensical. So it’s not really for “anyone dressing up as dominant or submissive.” It’s for straight men and lesbians dressing up as dominant.
-I wonder what “fetish” the artist thinks this is appropriate for? Do they think foot fetishists wear masks? Maybe balloon fetishists? Lactation fetishists? Maybe they meant “anyone into fetishwear,” but that generally means leather, spandex, latex or PVC – not polymer clay.
It just really bugs me when people try to market something to the kink community when their knowledge of said community comes entirely from CSI reruns and vampire movies.
October 28, 2012 at 12:12 pm
…or Wallace & Gromit
October 28, 2012 at 12:02 pm
“Beautifully hand sculpted”?
Because the package says SCULPEY on it, does not, ipso facto, meant that the results of using your hands on it, will be BEAUTIFUL HAND SCULPTURE.
October 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm
*MEAN* >____<
October 28, 2012 at 7:23 pm
yes, fimo fetish. says: squish me into a weird position and heat me up for 20 minutes.