75

Regretsy Math

75 comments on Regretsy Math

  1. Danny Potter
    October 26, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Lets go back to the mermaid.

    *cough*

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • Unfortunate Incident
      October 26, 2012 at 4:51 pm

      Thumb up Thumb down +86

      • RiRi McNabb
        October 26, 2012 at 11:20 pm

        Is that Zuckerberg?

        Thumb up Thumb down +28

  2. aginoz
    October 26, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    My wife has one just like it – she wears when I get a cold. The healing properties of the dress and the contents are astounding.

    Thumb up Thumb down +80

    • yecats
      October 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm

      Does it balance the bajingo’s natural humors?

      Thumb up Thumb down +39

      • vicogin
        October 26, 2012 at 4:18 pm

        That would be handy – there’s nothing funny about an unbalanced bajingo.

        Thumb up Thumb down +37

  3. rubysecret
    October 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    You had me at “cough drop merkin.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +159

    • nerdery
      October 26, 2012 at 8:38 pm

      i wish i could thumbs-up this one like forty times.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  4. modestshaylin
    October 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    All I can think about is her hair getting stuck to the cough drops.

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

    • angelbuttons77
      October 27, 2012 at 4:30 am

      Douche chills, seriously…..I’m concerned now.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Whirlwitch
      October 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

      I came by to say “all I can think about is her hair getting stuck to those lollipops” or to check on who else said that. I salute you. I’d say “great minds think alike” if that’s what I had.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  5. Lady Elizabeth Birdbite
    October 26, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    I’m suppressed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +67

  6. yecats
    October 26, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    I don’t care how sparkly and crunchy looking it is, red patches must never be a feature in the crotch area.

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

    • Soplame
      October 27, 2012 at 8:01 am

      GLITTER SHITTER, MOFO!

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  7. Hurricane
    October 26, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    Snookie?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • tralfaz
      October 27, 2012 at 3:37 am

      Well, maybe a design for her wedding dress.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • angelbuttons77
        October 27, 2012 at 4:31 am

        That’s what she wore post-delivery, to celebrate her wombynhood.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

  8. butts lol
    October 26, 2012 at 4:16 pm

    There’s some kind of vapor action going on there, all right, but where’s the paper bag?

    Also, love the workmanship on the bottom hem.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  9. Zippy
    October 26, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    But will it help with the swelling and congestion? I need relief!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • vicogin
      October 26, 2012 at 4:20 pm

      This has definitely decreased my swelling, but it did nothing for my congestion.

      Thumb up Thumb down +37

  10. vicogin
    October 26, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    Smith Bros?
    Try Smith Hos

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  11. studiorose
    October 26, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Sooo…a dress that you can’t wear panties with…that is also transparent in the back and made of highly porous material.

    I’d be all, “Don’t sit on my nice furniture, please.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +72

    • angelbuttons77
      October 27, 2012 at 4:47 am

      What’s a little snail trail amongst friends?

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  12. TallandGassy
    October 26, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    That merkin has me smirkin.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  13. lemon_bombs
    October 26, 2012 at 4:53 pm

    Vajazzling is supposed to go on under the dress, isn’t it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

    • Partially Creative
      October 27, 2012 at 4:34 am

      When you’re this good* at it, you want EVERYBODY to see!

      —-

      *For some unspecified but low value of “good”.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  14. thecreightonberyl
    October 26, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    “Pardon me, miss. I have a tickle in my throat. May I suck on one of your lozenges?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  15. Ejia
    October 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    For some reason the “dress” model looks to me like like Elvira without makeup.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Vagrarian
      October 27, 2012 at 6:47 am

      I’ve seen Elvira without makeup. Actually looks better than that, a hot strawberry blonde soccer mom.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  16. EvilStepQueen
    October 26, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Lick ‘em and stick ‘em!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  17. YourMomESQPhD
    October 26, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    You forgot to add “Spanx” to the equation

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  18. Afura
    October 26, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    Since I can’t think of anything witty, I’ll just say that it looks like her Aliens was reproduced out of her lower intestines. It’s not even shaped in an attractive way, it’s a flipping square! The whole damn things a mess. And I have a sore throat and this craptrap has put me off of wanting a cough drop.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • maclare
      October 27, 2012 at 10:23 am

      I gave you a thumbs up for using “claptrap” in a sentence.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  19. JuicyLucy
    October 26, 2012 at 7:55 pm

    Is it just me or are those red whatevers too high? The ones on the chest just make me think her implants are too high, and the ones at the bottom make me wonder about her no-no zone. Has that been implanted and lifted too?
    The other thing this makes me think is – thrush. All that nylon.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • tralfaz
      October 27, 2012 at 3:42 am

      That and a constant shock hazard from static electricity.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  20. Kitchen Bish
    October 26, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Willy Wonka “brings sexy back” with his new line of women’s clothing…

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  21. Emmanuelle
    October 26, 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Perfect outfit for a Red Tent Event

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  22. ohskittles
    October 26, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    It might be because I’m a little bit drunk, but my honest-to-God first impression was, “How did Snooki lose the baby weight so fast?” and my follow-up thought was, “…And why is she wearing Ricolas?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • Whirlwitch
      October 27, 2012 at 6:36 pm

      Seaweed wrap is passe. The hot new baby-weight-losing trend on the Shore is the lozenge wrap. The vapour action just melts the fat off.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  23. Stretch65
    October 26, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    This is one time Etsy clothing would look better on a womanikin
    The nude color is better match for manikin color and manikins don’t have a vajj so it won’t give the illusion of vaginal cold sores
    The models hair and skin color are very Jersey Shore while the “nude” fabric is more Downton Abby pale

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  24. aliceblue
    October 26, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    That dress needs a Brazilian.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  25. farm_yard_beast
    October 26, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    Damn- Normally Regretsy is number 3 on my wake up site checks before it gets saucy! *cough*
    Wait… I dont need to cough all bases are covered.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  26. finklefairy
    October 26, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    This. This is what I’ve been missing.
    A dress that I can also use to cover my face in case I need to rob someone. The cheap plastic hearts are just a bonus.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  27. SciFiMagpie
    October 26, 2012 at 10:27 pm

    Why do I have a feeling that this is what a stripper would wear to a Red Tent party?

    When else could you wear this thing? Maybe I’ve been on regretsy for too long, but the crappy sewing and glued-on plastic hearts bother me more than the concept. One rowdy night and those things are falling off faster than the model’s fake eyelashes.

    Also, it sort of matches that hideous iPhone 5 case with all the gems and pizza and shit on it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  28. HiddenLowRating
    October 26, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    Hi. Straight Guy here.

    Fabric? Why?

    I would have used Swedish Fish.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  29. onestopannijaksun
    October 27, 2012 at 12:37 am

    Eh, I like it. But then again, the last two things on Regretsy I liked were a blackface painting of Mitt Romney and a sheep fetus. So.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  30. Trickster
    October 27, 2012 at 1:48 am

    I love how she lifts her leg so YOU CAN’T SEE THE FUCKING DRESS.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • lizzy1
      October 27, 2012 at 10:10 am

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -20

      • ring0
        October 27, 2012 at 11:16 am

        Transgender people are not “traps”. Trying to live as the gender we are is not just some sneaky conspiracy to trap cissexual people into sleeping with us, so kindly take the word trap and shove it up your biscuit hole sideways.

        Thumb up Thumb down +28

        • Hurricane
          October 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm

          Thank you.

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • lizzy1
          October 27, 2012 at 12:13 pm

          Genuine apols, I DIDNT mean to cause offence. I guess thoughtlessness is no excuse but I didn’t mean to diss you.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Whirlwitch
          October 27, 2012 at 6:39 pm

          Thumbs up for the use of “biscuit hole”. Also for being brave and awesome, but mostly for “biscuit hole”.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Trickster
          October 28, 2012 at 8:51 am

          Even though I sometimes find it mildly cute to be called a trap, the idea of a TG person surprising a potential mate and then raping them (which is what “trap” implies) is pretty ridiculous.

          Although for some people, I suspect the “trap” is simply that they don’t understand why they’re so turned on. :D

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

  31. Menopausalmaniac
    October 27, 2012 at 3:53 am

    I see alot of wardrobe malfunctions happening on this dress, don’t lift your arm to hail a taxi!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • Vagrarian
      October 27, 2012 at 6:49 am

      Oh yeah, honey, you hail the taxi. You reach up to the highest shelf to get the vodka. You pick that napkin off the floor.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  32. angelbuttons77
    October 27, 2012 at 4:51 am

    There should be an anatomy requirement to become an etsy seller.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. Vagrarian
    October 27, 2012 at 6:52 am

    OK…so…with this dress….

    You HAVE to have certain measurements or else it’s just not gonna work at all.

    You CAN’T raise your arms, or do anything physically active, or anything at all that could possibly disarrange the dress…

    And you have to be triple careful of not snagging it on a nail, or your fingernails, or the chair, or anything else…

    So really, all you can do in this dress is stand still and bathe in the cherry menthol vapors. Yeah, that’s appealing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  34. lllisa
    October 27, 2012 at 10:33 am

    So, is THIS “business casual”? I can never figure that out…

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Plembot
      October 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

      I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t wear it after Labor Day.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Vagrarian
      October 27, 2012 at 11:46 am

      Only if you work in a combination brothel and flu clinic.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  35. YourMomESQPhD
    October 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    There, I fixed it

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

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