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Faux on the Flow

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE

89 comments on Faux on the Flow

  1. Bajingoism
    October 25, 2012 at 4:01 pm

    Too tough for a DIY, so lucky for me that someone has ready-made these for my consumption! Huzzah! ‘Sides, it’s not like I have any paint at home right now. I’m ovulating.

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  2. organmore
    October 25, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    It looks like a Beggin’ Strip on a string.

    Thumb up Thumb down +215

    • lemon_bombs
      October 25, 2012 at 4:05 pm

      Most dogs think so, too, sadly.

      Thumb up Thumb down +236

      • CuttingPixels
        October 25, 2012 at 6:09 pm

        Definitely have to invest in those bear proof containers for dog owners.

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

      • lhsolo
        October 25, 2012 at 9:40 pm

        Oh god. This happened. I was 14. It was a family gathering. THE HORROR!! I think I shall go curl up in a ball and rock back and forth now.

        Thumb up Thumb down +48

        • CuttingPixels
          October 25, 2012 at 11:04 pm

          Same here. Bathroom trash cans and litter boxes… gourmet eating for dogs.

          Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Stretch65
      October 25, 2012 at 9:38 pm

      “BACON! I’d get it myself but I don’t have opposable thumbs”

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  3. FistyAnn
    October 25, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Tea?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • vicogin
      October 25, 2012 at 4:23 pm

      Ewelong or Hurl Grey?

      Thumb up Thumb down +107

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 5:39 pm

      “ONE tea bag, ah-ah-ahh. TWO tea bags, ah-ah-ahh. THREE tea bags ah-ah-ahhhhh…

      Thumb up Thumb down +29

      • Stretch65
        October 25, 2012 at 9:41 pm

        “@#%$!#” ah ah ah!

        Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Pilkunnussija
      October 25, 2012 at 8:45 pm

      Only if your name is Edward and you sparkle in the sunlight.

      Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Stretch65
      October 25, 2012 at 9:44 pm

      Tea for two and two for tea
      Blood for you and EWWWW from me…!

      Thumb up Thumb down +21

  4. invisa
    October 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    I wish I knew you could sell bloody tampons I’d be richer than bill gates right now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +82

    • vicogin
      October 25, 2012 at 4:35 pm

      How do you think he met Melinda?

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

  5. lemon_bombs
    October 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    Passive-aggression level: off the charts

    Thumb up Thumb down +176

  6. Leorale
    October 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    I once had a roommate who deserved this. I wouldn’t have paid $10 for it, though… as the artiste suggests, I’d have done it myself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  7. CuttingPixels
    October 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    That’s hysterical! Needs clots though, for ultimate gag reflex.

    Thumb up Thumb down +114

    • invisa
      October 25, 2012 at 4:30 pm

      I see what you did there with the whole hysteria=uterus thing! Zing!

      Thumb up Thumb down +60

  8. Elysapeth
    October 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

    So I have been throwing out “upcycled” props to scare my friends, every 28 days? What a waist!

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  9. amyruthanne
    October 25, 2012 at 4:07 pm

    Who needs this as a prank? People do this in real life. More than once the toilet seat in the ladies’ room at work has been covered in urine. I was tempted to put up a sign that says, “How do you manage to pee on the seat unless you are standing up? And if you’re standing up to pee, you’re in the wrong bathroom.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +83

    • Postmenopaws ™
      October 26, 2012 at 12:59 am

      I do. I need this as a prank. I just don’t want it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  10. hellephantitis
    October 25, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    Someone needs to switch to super absorbency.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

    • vicogin
      October 25, 2012 at 4:58 pm

      Do you mean Megalosorbency?

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Stretch65
      October 25, 2012 at 9:42 pm

      below the waist…but I see what you did their

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  11. slovaksiren
    October 25, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    I’d buy them to throw them at people like Sniper from TF2 does with Jarate.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  12. yummycake
    October 25, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -111

  13. kapusta
    October 25, 2012 at 4:18 pm

    This is just the old Fake Dog Shit gag updated for the 21st century.
    “HI”larious.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 5:42 pm

      I snatched your joke (below)and feel like a bloody jerk. Sorry.

      Thumb up Thumb down +19

  14. vicogin
    October 25, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    But wouldn’t it be even more disturbing outside of the bathroom? Like next to the TV remote, on top of the coffee maker, in the mailbox, on that little peg thing people hang their keys on, wine rack, etc.?

    Thumb up Thumb down +187

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

      Leave it in a little jar labeled “sugar-free sweetener” and say you never thought anyone would look in there.

      Thumb up Thumb down +75

  15. mutzali
    October 25, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    Yeah, they got the <> part right!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  16. Wholeduck
    October 25, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    Hello, this year’s tree decorations!

    Thumb up Thumb down +113

    • invisa
      October 25, 2012 at 4:33 pm

      Now you have to. Plus you have to take pics, make memes sell tshirts and more.

      Thumb up Thumb down +34

    • vicogin
      October 25, 2012 at 4:40 pm

      Hark! The herald angels sing
      What the hell is that bloody thing?
      That’s my monthly gift from God
      Please don’t think the display is odd!

      Thumb up Thumb down +180

  17. berge
    October 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    Oh how your victims will laugh when they realize it was just a prank! It wasn’t a REAL tampon, that would be crazy! It was just a tampon dipped in paint that you were stupid enough to buy 10 of! Not crazy at all!

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

    • Chronic Glitter Lung
      October 25, 2012 at 9:26 pm

      I think I would be much less disturbed by someone leaving a bloody tampon on the sink than by someone buying a fake bloody tampon to leave on the sink. One is merely forgetful, the other is…psychotic?

      Thumb up Thumb down +35

  18. Zippy
    October 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Bloody Tampon is the new Fake Vomit! Get in at the bottom -INVEST NOW!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  19. loremi
    October 25, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    True story: Yoko Ono sent Cynthia Lennon a bloody tampon in a box to intimidate her. John thought it was a hilarious piece of art. As we all know, his three pals weren’t amused, either.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 6:47 pm

      Ono she di’n't!

      Thumb up Thumb down +50

      • alex51324
        October 25, 2012 at 7:07 pm

        You’re right, she didn’t. One of her conceptual art pieces was a Tampax box with something red in it–I forget what the “something” was, but it wasn’t an actual bloody tampon. John did think it was hilarious, though.

        Thumb up Thumb down +20

        • Zippy
          October 25, 2012 at 8:38 pm

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -6

        • Glasgow
          October 25, 2012 at 10:21 pm

          She also did a performance art piece where she blindfolded her audience with sanitarty pads and sneaked out the door leaving everyone sitting there. She must have had a fetish for sanitary products.

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
            October 26, 2012 at 6:36 am

            I was at a Gwar concert way back before they got signed and Esmirelda opened for them. She had a giant vagina cut out on stage, and her backup singers (who entered the stage by exiting the giant vagoo) all had these white tampon hats on.

            At one point during the show, each singer stuck his head into the vagina, and when they pulled it back out, the tampon hats were all red.

            This reminds me of that.

            Thumb up Thumb down +27

        • nicnac13c
          November 12, 2012 at 10:27 am

          It was a broken tea cup painted red and packaged in a tampon box. I see the humor in it. It was sent as a gag art gift to John before he broke up with Cynthia, though.

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

  20. Dani
    October 25, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    Awesome garnish for Bloody Marys, no?

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

    • kat-grrl
      October 25, 2012 at 4:49 pm

      NO! Just NO!!!

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Wilma Fingerdoo
      October 25, 2012 at 5:18 pm

      You get 10!
      I see wine charms…I know NO ONE will steal my glass.

      Thumb up Thumb down +71

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm

      This comment evokes my triumphant Bloody Mary concoction that included a garnish of prosciutto and blue cheese-stuffed olives. It was SO FUCKING GOOD but I could see smoked meat possibly being an improvement on it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • angelbuttons77
        October 26, 2012 at 8:52 am

        With a few pickled green beans, too. OMFG….I know what I’m having for dinner tonight!!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  21. Leorale
    October 25, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    Wait I just realized that you get TEN of them. How many times is this gag funny? Don’t your (ex)-friends eventually catch on?

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

    • trousers rolled
      October 25, 2012 at 7:13 pm

      Home, work, the gym (on the stationary bike seat – hilarious!), parent-teacher night. Damn! Only six left!

      Thumb up Thumb down +40

  22. Leorale
    October 25, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Besides, she’s marketing them incorrectly. The should be Red Tent party favors.

    Thumb up Thumb down +68

  23. Purples
    October 25, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    At least there isn’t an annoying description on how it’s feminist art and an expression of womynhood.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  24. Vagrarian
    October 25, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    NOT REAL BLOOD? Fuck that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  25. thecreightonberyl
    October 25, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    The Dog does a fine job of pulling real ones out of the trash and leaving them out for guests to see already.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  26. Glasgow
    October 25, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    What’s next? Bloody nose Kleenex to amuse your friends and relatives? Or how about used toilet paper? That is also very amusing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 7:04 pm

      If gag dead pets are ever made that will be my signal to trigger the DOOOOOOOOOMSDAAAAAAAAY Device!!!!!

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Vagrarian
      October 25, 2012 at 7:26 pm

      Used condoms. Just put a squirt of moisturizer in ‘em!

      Thumb up Thumb down +33

      • Genderally
        October 25, 2012 at 9:39 pm

        NOT REAL EJACULATE? Fuck that.

        Thumb up Thumb down +21

  27. mingamonga
    October 25, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    You know, because nothing’s funnier than bleeding half to death every month.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • angelbuttons77
      October 26, 2012 at 8:50 am

      You should go see a doctor if you’re bleeding that much.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • rushgirl2112
        October 26, 2012 at 12:50 pm

        Really? I don’t see a problem. That’s about what tampons look like on heavy days.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

        • rushgirl2112
          October 26, 2012 at 12:51 pm

          Although it does look like someone who waited just a little too long to change it.

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • angelbuttons77
          October 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm

          I meant mingamonga specifically, if she’s bleeding “half to death.” That’s um…..a heavy flow. More than what that tampon depicts…

          Thumb up Thumb down +2

  28. ForbiddenTuna
    October 25, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    Is it at least shellacked or something or is it literally just a painted tampon? Cause I mean, I’ve got tampons, I’ve got red paint, but I’ve got no shellac, am I on to something here?

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  29. BeanSprouts
    October 25, 2012 at 8:15 pm

    You should really check out the rest of the store (or don’t…) 24 listings of “why Edward really stayed with Bella” aka bloody tampon tea. My mind is boggled on so many levels.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • BeanSprouts
      October 25, 2012 at 8:17 pm

      And by pure chance, my avatar is making the same face I am right now!

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

  30. HiddenLowRating
    October 25, 2012 at 8:34 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -15

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 8:47 pm

      You fool! Don’t show fear. They can sense fear…

      Thumb up Thumb down +34

  31. Pencil-Chewer
    October 25, 2012 at 8:35 pm

    My friends used to squirt ketchup on pads and tampons and put them in random places of the house to scare everyone else. Worse place, the freezer. :P

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Pencil-Chewer
      October 25, 2012 at 8:39 pm

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

      Thumb up Thumb down -13

      • Zippy
        October 25, 2012 at 8:49 pm

        *Youse* and *wurst*?

        Thumb up Thumb down +18

    • Byrd
      October 26, 2012 at 10:21 am

      I had to roomies in college one male and one female we also did that gag on him, as he would literally gag when he found them. One Monday I came home from being gone all weekend and one was on the kitchen floor thinking it was a gag one i left it alone went to class. After class got a text from my female roomie asking if I left the item in the kitchen told her no thought it was her, she says no she was away all weekend too! Come to find out our other roomie brought a girl home since he had the house to himself all wknd and had “fun time” in the kitchen with said girl who was on her period a the time and left that little “gem” to get back at us! He wasnt our roomie much longer

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  32. Tante
    October 25, 2012 at 9:19 pm

    “Honest to God tampons”
    Sorry, I only use Honest to Zorgar the Mighty tampons.

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

    • Vagrarian
      October 26, 2012 at 7:03 am

      Why not Cthulhu tampons? Instead of a string, there’s tentacles…

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

      • slovaksiren
        October 26, 2012 at 9:59 am

        Disclaimer: We are not responsible for cthulhu tampons causing severe symptoms of PMDD…

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

  33. crampedsultana
    October 25, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    Yeah…you know that ‘talk’ they give to girls in school? They handed out maxi-pad samples in mine. I was 10. Somehow my free samples ended up covered in ketchup and stuck to shelves in various stores around my house. Seller, I’ll see you in court…

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  34. RancidSorbet
    October 26, 2012 at 12:03 am

    Thanks, I’ve already seen enough of these in the wild that I don’t ever need to again.

    You know… in college towns, if you find a bloody tampon on your lawn, you’ll find the condom a few feet away. Don’t ask me how I know. Ugh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  35. Postmenopaws ™
    October 26, 2012 at 1:08 am

    I would like a ceramic version affixed to the bottom of a large coffee cup. And a matching soup bowl.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  36. Pnut
    October 26, 2012 at 8:01 am

    I like how they have this “vintage antique” giant syringe for 40 bucks:
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/112059921/vintage-antique-giant-silver-syringe

    Get it on Amazon for $8.50
    http://www.amazon.com/Ear-Syringe-Metal-4-oz/dp/B0008G1ZRS

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  37. mamazog
    October 26, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Party favors for your daughter’s Red Tent celebration. Whoever gets the super absorbent size gets the Twilight-inspired reusable maxi pad cover door prize.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  38. haineux
    October 26, 2012 at 10:37 am

    Regretsy monetization plan: Sell “get this disgusting thing out of my sight” buttons. 3 removals for 99 cents. And when you hit the beautiful, candy-like button, the article disappears in an animated explosion with sound effects.

    You’ll make MEEEEELYUNS.

    I’ll put a fistful of dollars that have probably never been in a stripper’s ass into the beer fund to get this going.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  39. 6eisha
    October 26, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Yesterday I’ve complained about too many uninteresting posts lately.

    Oh how I miss those days.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

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