154

Blank Stare

Sometimes I like to gather the family and reminisce about the good old days, before we had faces.

154 comments on Blank Stare

  1. G Val is Quiet Serious
    October 25, 2012 at 10:02 am

    REALLY cool…but in a kind of horror movie house-by-the-lake kinda way…

    Thumb up Thumb down +87

    • Burn The Internet
      October 25, 2012 at 10:06 am

      There is a Doctor Who episode just like this. With alien possessed TVs stealing people’s faces.

      Thumb up Thumb down +80

      • G Val is Quiet Serious
        October 25, 2012 at 10:10 am

        I think there was a Twighlight Zone or Outer Limits episode like that too!

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

        • Stretch65
          October 25, 2012 at 12:26 pm

          Its a Billy Idol song: “heads without a face”

          Thumb up Thumb down +11

          • Zippy
            October 25, 2012 at 12:57 pm

            Charlie on Star Trek disappeared a crew woman’s face. As a small child I almost freaked out.

            Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Unfortunate Incident
        October 25, 2012 at 11:28 am

        Ooooooo, this takes me back to grade school and erasing the eyes out of advertisements in magazines.

        Thumb up Thumb down +97

        • Stretch65
          October 25, 2012 at 12:56 pm

          NOt magazines here but Pee-Chee folders. Here is Wiki description: “was a common American stationery item in the second half of the 20th century, commonly used by students for storing school papers.” that sure puts things in perspective that we are OLD!

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

          • Elysapeth
            October 25, 2012 at 3:42 pm

            My friends and I used to erase eyes, mouths, and such from kids faces in our school year books. We were kind of a bunch of assholes……

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • onestopannijaksun
            October 25, 2012 at 5:35 pm

            Well, yeah, but the “second half of the 20th century” also refers to the 90s. It doesn’t make us old so much as it makes the author a person who phrases things strangely.

            Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • Pom-Poms Make It Better
            October 25, 2012 at 10:38 pm

            I’m not *that* old, and I defaced a few Pee-Chee folders, too.

            Thumb up Thumb down +2

          • kyso42
            October 26, 2012 at 5:13 am

            Referring to the 90s as “the second half of the twentieth century” sounds like someone who knows what a reference book is supposed to sound like, but is trying to hide the fact that s/he doesn’t quite get it, like an illiterate person copying every last serif on a letter, hoping that no one notices he can’t tell which squiggles are the important ones.

            Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • SiliconeSunflower
      October 25, 2012 at 10:09 am

      It’s in preparation for Zombie Apocalypse – don’t they eat the faces first? (and convert bright blonde hair into a the color of rotting, ahem, leaves?)

      Thumb up Thumb down +30

    • Vagrarian
      October 25, 2012 at 10:12 am

      In Japanese lore there’s a creature called a “mujina” or “noppera-bo” who appears as a human without a face. They don’t actually do anything except scare the shit out of you, but that’s bad enough.

      Thumb up Thumb down +80

      • Vagrarian
        October 25, 2012 at 10:32 am

        I read a story about them in a kids’ ghost story book from Scholastic, I think, that gave me serious willies as a littlun. Something like this hanging in the living room would have given me nightmares. Think of the children traumatized by these. Just think of them, will you? And stop giggling.

        Thumb up Thumb down +53

      • Zippy
        October 25, 2012 at 1:01 pm

        There’s a Japanese monster called a kappa that will suck your soul out of your anus. So, the Japanese pretty much have all manner of mythical abominations covered.

        Thumb up Thumb down +48

        • Vagrarian
          October 25, 2012 at 1:03 pm

          There’s some Japanese monster with an eye in its anus. That Japanese shit makes the D&D Monster Manual look tame.

          Thumb up Thumb down +29

          • Vagrarian
            October 25, 2012 at 1:11 pm

            Had to look it up. It’s a “shirime” and you can find images on Google. Imagine a goatse with an eyeball. Now stop screaming.

            Thumb up Thumb down +54

            • RevW
              October 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm

              We are glad you’re back in top form, Vagrarian.

              Thumb up Thumb down +14

              • Vilecat
                October 25, 2012 at 4:05 pm

                And in top hat.

                Thumb up Thumb down +23

          • Pom-Poms Make It Better
            October 25, 2012 at 10:41 pm

            I think i love how some Japanese monsters can just be stuff like your umbrella, a lantern… basically anything around you can scare you and potentially fuck up your day.

            Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Matt Johnson
      October 25, 2012 at 10:29 am

      Remember in “Back to the Future” when history starts being erased and Michael J. Fox keeps looking at the picture of his family and their faces start disappearing? It’s got that kind of vibe.

      Thumb up Thumb down +30

  2. Corvidae
    October 25, 2012 at 10:03 am

    I wonder if you could do like an applique transfer of the faces onto the wood, cause besides the creepiness these are really quite good!

    Thumb up Thumb down +120

  3. G Val is Quiet Serious
    October 25, 2012 at 10:04 am

    just lost all my respect with this one other simple post.
    I forget the artist’s name at the moment, but I’m pretty sure it’s not him…
    http://www.etsy.com/listing/97354566/wooden-sign-grumpy-bear-sign-if-you-must?ref=v1_other_2

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • G Val is Quiet Serious
      October 25, 2012 at 10:09 am

      Man, he’s got some great carving skills (unless that’s done with a computerized router set up?) and some pretty nice (what seem to be) original creations, but then he’s got all that mass-market crap in there that either he’s not making himself (reseller!) or he’s buying kits or something…

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

      • SiliconeSunflower
        October 25, 2012 at 10:17 am

        Computerized would explain it. It looks practically like 3D tracing.

        Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • MissPlace
        October 25, 2012 at 10:30 am

        I’m not seeing mass market stuff. She just looks to be really good with a jig saw and tole painting. There appear to be a few vinyl transfers on a few signs, but most of it can be done with just some acrylic paint and the proper technique. My mom, quite seriously, does the same kinds of projects. She has mad jigsaw and fan brush skills.
        Also, the positions of the people in the carvings aren’t exactly like the photo, so even if she uses a computer assisted router, she’d still have to be doing more than scanning a photo and hitting a start button.

        Thumb up Thumb down +23

        • SiliconeSunflower
          October 25, 2012 at 11:45 am

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -14

        • angelbuttons77
          October 25, 2012 at 11:57 am

          The bride and groom sculpture is kick ass. If she’s doing by hand, she’s really good.

          The Boynton stuff, and all that – wth, people ask for that kinda stuff. Not my bag, but maybe she does craft fairs, etc – that’s the kind of stuff old ladies love to buy.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • .Rana.
            October 25, 2012 at 6:10 pm

            Yeah, but you need a license to sell the Boynton stuff.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

            • angelbuttons77
              October 26, 2012 at 4:22 am

              True, true….

              Thumb up Thumb down -1

    • BagLadyFromHell
      October 25, 2012 at 10:18 am

      That looks suspiciously like Sandra Boynton’s work.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • tralfaz
      October 25, 2012 at 2:02 pm

      The artist you’re thinking of is (Sandra) Boynton, she of the greeting card/kid’s book fame. Per the lettering style, the whole thing looks like something a Chinese reseller would do.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • tralfaz
        October 25, 2012 at 2:04 pm

        Urk! Too slow on the draw.

        Thumb up Thumb down -1

    • Barnwoodnymph
      October 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

      That bear is a copy of a Sandra Boynton illustration. I agree. Not cool.

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  4. Matt Johnson
    October 25, 2012 at 10:04 am

    He’ll never do faces- that would be like “stealing your soul”- but this guy IS awesome at carving clothing wrinkles. For a small upcharge, I’m sure he could add even more wrinkles.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • Matt Johnson
      October 25, 2012 at 10:11 am

      *she* I just looked. I just assumed, because you so rarely see a female wood carver. I have no idea why that is.

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Corvidae
        October 25, 2012 at 10:31 am

        Men have more experience with hard wood.

        Thumb up Thumb down +61

        • crispyduck13
          October 25, 2012 at 12:18 pm

          2012 and women are still getting the shaft when they go against the grain.

          (I couldn’t decide on a penis or wood pun)

          Thumb up Thumb down +36

        • Stretch65
          October 25, 2012 at 12:59 pm

          we all practice “whittling” when we hit puberty

          Thumb up Thumb down +8

          • Matt Johnson
            October 25, 2012 at 1:15 pm

            I’ve heard that you can go blind from whittling.

            Thumb up Thumb down +11

            • BaronessDSauce
              October 25, 2012 at 4:32 pm

              why, matt, you jumped in on a sexual pun! just couldn’t help it, hmmm? ;D

              i thought it was hairy palms?

              Thumb up Thumb down 0

  5. SheleetaHam
    October 25, 2012 at 10:05 am

    the last thing i want is to wake up in the middle night with my 8-year-old faceless self eating my pinky toe off while the rest of the fam from decades gone work on my other toes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  6. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    October 25, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I Have No Face And I Must Scream

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  7. Matt Johnson
    October 25, 2012 at 10:08 am

    On the lower photo/carving, he nailed the mom’s hair color. The attention to detail is amazing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

    • Leucadia
      October 25, 2012 at 10:12 am

      That’s probably her natural hair color. I wonder if she was pissed not to see her super-white blonde recreated in wood.

      Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 1:21 pm

      The lack of faces on the 2 boys seems to change them from happy to dejected. The father goes from creepy to dignified, the baby goes from fake to even more fake, but the mother is UNCHANGED in her woodenness.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • Matt Johnson
        October 25, 2012 at 1:26 pm

        Her secret ingredient is Botox.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • Zippy
          October 25, 2012 at 2:49 pm

          I can tell by how they used botox elder wood for that part.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • Stretch65
        October 25, 2012 at 9:07 pm

        Reminds me of Ann Romney

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

  8. Angel Laveaux
    October 25, 2012 at 10:11 am

    Perdect!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  9. Rebecca Nightrod
    October 25, 2012 at 10:21 am

    Oh god, it’s a Slenderman family portrait. I am accordingly frightened.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  10. I wish I was Ken
    October 25, 2012 at 10:26 am

    Meet the Barnwoods!

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  11. Matt Johnson
    October 25, 2012 at 10:27 am

    “Perdect gift to bring back those special memories of the good old days.”

    Isn’t that what the photo is for?

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

    • Rebecca Nightrod
      October 25, 2012 at 10:49 am

      That would cross the line into practical, financially prudent reasoning there, Matt. No need for that here.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • Matt Johnson
        October 25, 2012 at 10:52 am

        You’re right. I’ll use the servant’s exit.

        Thumb up Thumb down +18

        • Zippy
          October 25, 2012 at 1:12 pm

          Say hi to *throat-clearing noise* for me as you step on him.

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • lovinglymadewithspite
            October 25, 2012 at 4:00 pm

            he’s out picking up your chopper.

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

  12. clarabellen
    October 25, 2012 at 10:29 am

    Oh no! I think they must have watched The Ring video…

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  13. Shiny Pants
    October 25, 2012 at 10:30 am

    Before we had faces… or hands, apparently.

    The one little boy in the lower carving looks like he’s broken his leg in a most unfortunate way.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Daver
      October 25, 2012 at 11:50 am

      Is there a fortunate way to do that?

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • Matt Johnson
        October 25, 2012 at 1:28 pm

        What if you were in a prison labor camp? If you broke your leg, it would be most fortunate.

        Thumb up Thumb down +4

        • tralfaz
          October 25, 2012 at 2:14 pm

          They’d tie you to a pole and use you as a scarecrow. Then take your picture and sell it on Etsy.

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

  14. maryb1009
    October 25, 2012 at 10:34 am

    “Alright, fine. You got me. I don’t know how to carve faces. I figured the bodies were enough.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

    • Oakhurst
      October 25, 2012 at 10:56 am

      THIS. I was at a gallery last week which had these colorful paintings (selling for $1000) where the people had NO FACES.

      I’d estimate that 95% of the time, when you see otherwise realistic (or semi) artwork with no faces, the explanation is they can’t draw faces, because that requires a higher drawing skill, which they don’t have. They can try to rationalize it away with some other bullshit reason, but that’s usually what it boils down to.

      Thumb up Thumb down +25

      • tralfaz
        October 25, 2012 at 2:45 pm

        Maybe the maker used to be portraitist who got stigmatized by hearing “That’s NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE!” over and over. Then again, not making the bleached blonde lady a blonde is a bad idea for a portrait: “I made your lardass body skinny because it would have taken too much wood”.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

      • amurana
        December 13, 2012 at 9:15 pm

        When in a sculpting class I’d never give my people faces because I couldn’t make up my mind what emotion they were having. I liked to think by keeping them blank they could just reflect whatever emotion I wanted them to have at the time. I tend to like faceless figures a lot.
        true story.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • Plembot
      October 25, 2012 at 11:42 am

      From the artist’s bio: “I feel that faces detract from the dynamic nature of the soul’s aura as portrayed through the medium of wood. I prefer to leave the expression and persona to the beholder’s imagination so they can absorb the energy of the potential in the blank spaces.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +19

      • silvercat
        October 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm

        That is a seriously high bullshit level there.

        Thumb up Thumb down +50

        • Plembot
          October 25, 2012 at 1:56 pm

          That’s because I totally made that up in my artistic ability.

          Thumb up Thumb down +21

        • rhapsody98
          October 25, 2012 at 7:44 pm

          That’s a M.A.. in BS, right there.

          Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • Vagrarian
        October 25, 2012 at 12:25 pm

        “I can’t draw faces, and I prefer giving people nightmares. I’m lazy that way.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +25

      • SiliconeSunflower
        October 25, 2012 at 12:52 pm

        My face totally detracts from the dynamic nature of my soul. Which is why I always walk around with a paper bag on my head.

        Thumb up Thumb down +26

      • lovinglymadewithspite
        October 25, 2012 at 4:02 pm

        Why are we not discussing the crocheted beard extravaganza she has going on in the shop too?!

        I’ll see your Peanut Butter and Jelly strap on conjoined twins face thing and raise you a hat/beard/ braids conglomeration.

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • Oakhurst
        October 25, 2012 at 10:37 pm

        Hey, that’s pretty good! The artist should steal that! LOL.

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

  15. Damaia
    October 25, 2012 at 10:41 am

    Personally, I really like this one. I don’t think it’s creepy without faces. I’m used to the angels and other art pieces where they don’t have faces anyway. It’s got a simplistic charm about it. If I had the money…and a picture worth having done…I’d get one myself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

    • angelbuttons77
      October 25, 2012 at 12:00 pm

      I have the Willow Tree Angels – but there’s something about those faces (3 dimensional, maybe??) that is less creepy than these??

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • amurana
      December 13, 2012 at 9:17 pm

      Me, too! I’d like one of my husband and I at our wedding that I could set next to the teevee. I’d like it *better* than the picture because I could pretend we’re looking in the same direction.

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  16. Matt Johnson
    October 25, 2012 at 10:45 am

    “Hey Matt- what’s that carving on your desk of?”

    “Oh, that’s a carving of the time I went to the Grand Canyon with, uh, these three friends. I can’t really remember which friends I went with, and there are no faces on the carvings to remind me, but I do remember we had a lot of fun- me and those other three dudes.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 2:15 pm

      It just happened that the delicate and sublime facial features were just the right size and spacing to scratch that reoccurring itch on your butt and you didn’t know when to stop!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  17. 6eisha
    October 25, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Gaaah… Please don’t misunderstand me, everyone has a different taste of humor and I don’t have to hang out around here the whole day etc., I know, but what’s either wrong or funny, let alone wtf, with the wedding banner and now with this one?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Matt Johnson
      October 25, 2012 at 10:58 am

      This one: How would a series of wooden lumps with no discerning characteristics remind you of the good old days? To me and some others here, that’s funny.

      Wedding banner: It was a single piece of yarn and construction paper numbers cut out. Kids do that in 1st grade. If you are so lazy and lack the 4 minutes it would take you to make that, then you deserve to pay $8 plus shipping for 5 cents of materials. Some of us found that funny as well.

      Humor’s tricky, and people have different takes on it. Those are just the reasons why I found it funny. Others may have had a different take.

      Thumb up Thumb down +27

      • Angel Laveaux
        October 25, 2012 at 11:19 am

        Don’t forget the derp factor. That’s my favorite part.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • angelbuttons77
        October 25, 2012 at 12:02 pm

        Nah, she just doesn’t have a sense of humor.

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

      • Glasgow
        October 25, 2012 at 12:48 pm

        I think it is funny because the people are not identifiable. It could br my family it could br the Manson family. What is the point in getting someone to cough up 100.00 when you would have to display it next to the picture so people could figure out who they are?

        Thumb up Thumb down +25

        • rhapsody98
          October 25, 2012 at 7:46 pm

          Find a cute picture online, and fake up a family! Without faces, who would know?

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 2:40 pm

      This (and the wedding banner and quite a few other things) arethings I looked at and just said “Well I’ll be damned.” They don’t fall into the “Ha-ha, what a fucking idiot!” or “Are you trying to fuck me?” or “Holy fucking shit, what am I fucking looking at?” categories. They are the sound of one hand clapping.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  18. thecreightonberyl
    October 25, 2012 at 10:49 am

    Slender Man has a Family.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  19. smudge
    October 25, 2012 at 10:52 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  20. zeppelyn
    October 25, 2012 at 10:54 am

    Reminds me of the Willow Tree figurines (http://kayshallmarkshop.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/willow-tree-angels-7.jpg) which some might think are creepy too, but I think those are faceless because they’re simple and represent emotions instead of specific people usually, but the Etsy ones are creepy cause the rest of the carving is really detailed and they’re supposed to be real people…

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • angelbuttons77
      October 25, 2012 at 12:02 pm

      Willow Tree angles have fewer details overall, too. They’re more roughly carved all over, and thus, the faceless nature is less of a juxtaposition with the details??

      Am I overthinking this???

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

      • Vagrarian
        October 25, 2012 at 12:37 pm

        For me, part of the wrongness is the juxtaposition of the original photos with the carvings. It looks macabre, part of their beings erased. Those angels are meant as abstractions, not representations of actual people, and are thus a bit more palatable. Make sense?

        Thumb up Thumb down +26

        • Oakhurst
          October 25, 2012 at 1:55 pm

          Makes total sense.

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • angelbuttons77
          October 26, 2012 at 4:23 am

          Yes, this! lol I agree. ;)

          Thumb up Thumb down 0

  21. Skadi The Slamazon
    October 25, 2012 at 11:42 am

    I have just one question, Why are family photos now vintage?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

    • angelbuttons77
      October 25, 2012 at 12:04 pm

      Ones that are printed out might be??

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Matt Johnson
      October 25, 2012 at 12:49 pm

      Mitt Romney says: With the epidemic of divorce and gay marriage, the family unit (in God’s intended form) is so rare that it’s now seen as a thing of the past and has now been classified as “vintage”.

      Thumb up Thumb down +26

      • Skadi The Slamazon
        October 25, 2012 at 4:13 pm

        Oh yes, because we all want to bring back the red tents. Nothing makes life better than throwing a bunch of women in a tent when they are on their periods.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • rhapsody98
          October 25, 2012 at 7:49 pm

          Hey! I don’t think I’d mind a five day vacation every month of the year. “sorry I can’t go to your company picnic honey, but that’s tent week! Your mothers birthday? Tent week!”

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

          • amurana
            December 13, 2012 at 9:20 pm

            I’m there. You bring the alcohol and I’ll bring the ice cream.

            Thumb up Thumb down 0

    • Zippy
      October 25, 2012 at 1:51 pm

      I thought it was because the artist wants “vintage” photos and so doesn’t have to reproduce the details you can get with modern high-resolution cameras. Like faces.

      Thumb up Thumb down +8

  22. Anne Packrat
    October 25, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    I don’t see a problem with this. Just add a few pairs of googly eyes and some sharpie mouths and you’re all set!

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

    • SiliconeSunflower
      October 25, 2012 at 12:53 pm

      Naaaah. Invite the Spanish fresco-Jesus granny over!

      Thumb up Thumb down +41

      • Matt Johnson
        October 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

        She’d paint the shit out of that!

        Thumb up Thumb down +14

        • Maman Brigitte
          October 25, 2012 at 1:39 pm

          That would be awesome.

          Thumb up Thumb down +127

          • Matt Johnson
            October 25, 2012 at 1:43 pm

            I would pay $100 for that all day long.

            Thumb up Thumb down +17

          • Zippy
            October 25, 2012 at 1:54 pm

            Bravissima! BTW, you avatar looks like a giant salad-tosser. Please don’t take that wrong.

            Thumb up Thumb down +6

            • Matt Johnson
              October 25, 2012 at 2:00 pm

              Too late.

              Thumb up Thumb down +4

            • Maman Brigitte
              October 25, 2012 at 2:50 pm

              Thanks, but I’m confused – It’s a pic Sophia Loren, not Tom Cruise.

              Thumb up Thumb down +19

              • Zippy
                October 25, 2012 at 3:27 pm

                Giant salad-tossing utensils. Sophia’s pretty!

                Thumb up Thumb down +5

                • Maman Brigitte
                  October 25, 2012 at 4:26 pm

                  I remember as a kid we had a set of them hanging on the wall of our kitchen. They were hand-carved in the Philippines, because, as everyone knows, gigantic salads are a Filipino tradition.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +21

                  • Partially Creative
                    October 26, 2012 at 4:16 am

                    We had a set too! Didn’t everybody?

                    Thumb up Thumb down +3

                    • tralfaz
                      October 27, 2012 at 3:57 am

                      The family homestead is long gone but I’m sure those salad bowls and utensils are still on the property.

                      Ours didn’t have Sophia for some reason.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +1

          • Vagrarian
            October 25, 2012 at 2:22 pm

            I was WAITING for that! You win the internet for today!

            Thumb up Thumb down +9

            • Unfortunate Incident
              October 25, 2012 at 2:24 pm

              It is exquisite, isn’t it!

              Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • Zippy
            October 25, 2012 at 2:43 pm

            So well deserved! Do we have enough of these for the Regretsy Advent Calendar yet?

            Thumb up Thumb down +4

          • All Aboard the Failboat!
            October 26, 2012 at 3:27 am

            That is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

            Thumb up Thumb down 0

  23. Ejia
    October 25, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    Those are pretty good, actually.

    And the blank faces make it easier to draw penises on them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  24. s0nicfreak
    October 25, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    The blonde woman looks better like this, she looks kind of annoyed to be with her family when you can see her face…

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  25. Mystik Spiral
    October 25, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    I actually like these a lot – they’re cute, well-made, and would make a really special family memento.

    I think they would be creepy if they DID have faces. It could all too easily look nothing like your family member. But I do love the suggestion of adding goggly eyes!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Mystik Spiral
      October 25, 2012 at 12:56 pm

      That being said, I think these carvings would work better if made from a candid or action shot, instead of an everybody-look-at-the-camera-shot.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • Matt Johnson
      October 25, 2012 at 1:13 pm

      You know, if you came up here to New England, you could go to any “Arts Festival” held in any small-town park and buy one just like this from like 15 different vendors. It’s kinda the “hot glue gun and glitter” of woodworking, unfortunately. But people buy them all the time, so what do I know.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • SiliconeSunflower
        October 25, 2012 at 3:42 pm

        Do they do it all manually, or is it semi-automated? Do they do it right there at the festival while the customers can watch? And are the products all sans faces?

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  26. Art und Kraft
    October 25, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    “We had faces then!” — Norma Desmond

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  27. King of Grief
    October 25, 2012 at 2:26 pm

    First thing that popped into my head? This cover image, later rendered in 3D à la today’s featured mass marke artisan.

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  28. RevW
    October 25, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    Ten minutes and counting down until the 9 year old grandchild finds the crayons.

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  29. slovaksiren
    October 25, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Awwww…. Slenderman’s kids are so adorable. Who even knew he had a hot wife too!

    Well… for Slenderman that is…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  30. amyruthanne
    October 25, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    I like how the “blonde” lady ended up as a brunette in the carving. It’s like the artist was saying, “Bitch please, that’s bleach!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  31. crainny
    October 26, 2012 at 7:26 am

    There was a French sci-fi animated movie in the 80s called “Time Masters” or “Maitres du Temps”… It had an episode where good guys are being abducted by a society of faceless creatures… They are being forcefully converted into faceless beings, who lose their essence and become like one spineless non-individualistic biomass… Very scary stuff. These carvings remind me of that conversion… Shudder…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  32. seigezunt
    October 26, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    Nothin freaky at all, nope.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Zippy
      October 26, 2012 at 3:24 pm

      Even worse was the “mmmf mmmf” noise she made.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. Trickster
    October 27, 2012 at 1:51 am

    (X)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  34. scrapstitching
    October 30, 2012 at 9:45 pm

    Reminds me of the story “I Have No Mouth Yet I Must Scream” by Ellison.

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  35. cameragrrl
    November 5, 2012 at 6:24 am

    I wrote to Sandra Boynton and told her about the image theft (the bear signs, etc.). She contacted Etsy and they told her to contact the seller, who said she didn’t know the design was copyrighted and took them down. I hate seeing artists getting ripped off. >:(

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  36. Akumetsu
    November 13, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    This would have been perfect for that family that, you know… switched moms and dads a lot, and as a result of that, kids too… I mean, shit, having to get photos taken and retaken after the divorce and such? Much easier to just replace ‘em with crappy computer printer generated sticky faces.

    Wouldn’t even have to remove them when the mom or dad du jour loses their “charm and sparkle”… Just treat it like some kind of fucked up family chronometer, where you peel them off in reverse order; “This was the mommy before mommy… and the one before that, and the one before that…”

    See, it’s all in the marketing… someone get on that shit!

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