Wow, yarn and construction paper. That’s pretty lux. I think Justin and Jessica had one of these over the sheet cake.
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Genius and very thoughtful.
Wow…that’s my niece’s real wedding date… I might just have to splurge….
You might get a discount since they already made it!
NO DISCOUNTS!!! Don’t you know that construction paper and yarn prices are through the roof right now?
It’s all those billions little kids in China and India who’ve started making dream-catchers and construction paper turkeys for Thanksgiving! Globalization screws us again!
Will China never stop in its quest to rule the world with its Communist Craft Machine?
So many times I’ve seen mass-produced inferior godseyes and naugahyde wallets infiltrating our children’s summer camps!
My first clue was when I saw how many popsicle-stick crafts are now being made with disposable chopsticks instead.
Our nation’s children have staggeringly high MSG levels because of them. Won’t somebody think of the children?
They’re putting General Tso up on Crimes Against Humanity at the Hague, I hear.
That guy could sometimes be very sweet, but he had a sour side, too.
This is a great way to spruce up your house and perfect for PETA members who are anti-fir
I read that as ‘Gobblelization’
I’d make mine the LOST numbers.
My Mother and Stepfather’s wedding photo has the two of them holding up the “Sorry” board-game between them. I always liked that.
I think I LOST the lottery playing those numbers.
Some guy on the subway was muttering those numbers and suddenly yelled “hike!”. I didn’t have a ball, so I kicked him in the nuts and ran the other way. I’m not really familiar with the rules of football.
I blame the inexperienced replacement refs they’re using on public transit these days.
TOUCHDOWN RED SOX!
Touchmedownthere on the #7! 10 stops and loss-of-seat penalty!
You did it right – foot to the balls.
Thank god the banner comes assembled! I would’ve ended up with “21-71-2″ or something- I’m no artist, you know?
“Hike!” *covers groin*
At least the yarn will tell me my wedding colors are pretty and a wonderful choice. …Wait, did they mean complement?
Recently, I received an invitation to a tony affair. “Complementary wine” was mentioned as an inducement to attendance. My R.S.V.P. queried confirmation of my inference that the hosts prefer I wear chardonnay- or merlot- colored attire.
Shockingly, I received no response!
Is there really enough material there to actually be considered a “banner”?
It seems to me that it’s more of a “banner-in-progress” or a “future banner”.
“Future Banner” — aka The Hulk.
“Banner in Progress” – also The Hulk (while he’s changing back to David)
This is banner than other banns I’ve seen posted but far from the bannist-er.
It’s rather banal, really.
Am I awful for not seeing anything awful with this? After all it’s advertised as a photo prop.
(And after all I despise mainstream weddings so I might not know enough about the customs surrounding them! :p )
And at least it’s not completely horribly overpriced.
Until you consider that she’s also charging $6.00 shipping in the US and $15 to Canada. I’m pretty sure for $14
I can get what I need in target.
why go to target when you can dumpster dive ?
Dammit, you got there first.
That’s true. The target part as well.
It just makes me sad that someone would see this and say “cute idea” and fork over twenty dollars to have it mailed to them instead of just doing it themselves. Are we that lazy?
Some people just aren’t good with scissors.
some people do not play well with others…
Did you see the shipping, though? $6 to the U.S. and $15 to Canada? So you’re going to spend either $14 or $23 total.
Priority shipping for something flat and virtually weightless is INSANE. It isn’t even guaranteed to get there faster. Why on earth wouldn’t you give people First Class as a choice, at least for domestic shipments?
Um, also – Priority isn’t $6…..she could use a flat-rate envelope (since the numbers aren’t huge) and it would be under $5….
Are you guys all having a business pow-wow about a more cost-effective way to sell construction-paper and yarn banners?
Not just construction paper and yarn banners…construction paper and yarn banners that will be a prop in a photo for a save-the-date announcement.
I blame Pinterest.
Well obviously SOMEONE should have.
LEAN SIX SIGMA FOR LIFE, YO!
Yeah, what really sucks about this is how mainstream it is. That’s the problem.
That’ll look great hanging over our sheet cake at the reception in the basement of the local VFW.
Just remember to request the yarn color that will best match the Hawaiian Punch you will be serving.
That way your guests will know you had a theme wedding.
I used to work in a stationary/party store, the panic that would set in on people’s faces when they realized that the words “first birthday” or “wedding shower” were not printed on the paper plates, was priceless.
I would remind them that the people attending the party would have been told why they were invited and there for did not need to read it on the plate when they arrived at said party.
Thank you, that was magnificent. I LOVE logical mistakes hiding under noses.
I’m just sick of these raunchy Etsy product photos.
Showing off your bush just to sell a banner… that’s tacky.
I didn’t think you could show full-on peonies on etsy, either. Disgraceful.
That wood penetrating said bush, is lewd in the extreme.
There oughta be a lawn!
I needed something just like this for our 500-guest wedding at my vacation mansion (the one on the private Mediterranean island, not the other one)to hang between the portico’s pillars where the guests getting off the helicopters would see it, but that piece of yarn looks too short so the deal’s off!
I had the same problem only mine was a hobo wedding. The highway-overpass pillars were too far apart.
Helicopters shouldn’t be landing under overpasses anyways.
And it was too complicated to use toilet paper instead of yarn…. the t.p. kept ripping when i tried to tie it around the pillar.
I just sent Matt to pee the numbers on the gravel… Not very high contrast, but I think our guests felt welcomed and special…And that’s really what it’s about.
And the steam kept us warm, briefly.
If I had known you people endure this kind of existence I would have had my helicopter pilot’s manservant drop some confetti* out the window as he flew over on your special day.
*OK, shredded financial records
Small world! My cousin Kevin is your helicopter pilot’s manservant’s personal spitoon/whipping boy! It’s like we’re related!
Well, why didn’t Kev give us a deal on his services as bartender/marriage legitimizer/ring boy/carriage? It’s the least he could have done seeing that he gave the guests the creeps, with his rough, calloused hands.
(attn. dropping a call back to previous regresty item): I guess the fact that he made our wedding rings, was enough.
-see what i did there….
I wasn’t aware people that far down the hierarchy even had names! I think you’re talking about the one we call *throat-clearing noise*.
Us labor(or)(er)s are most of the time referred to by our minion names. Minion 1, Minion 2, Senor Minion or Hey You.
Oooh! That reminds me, filet mignon for dinner!
I want to say anyone with half a brain could make this for WAY less than price + shipping, but then I remember that we’re talking about cupcakes here…
It’s so the way of the world… the idiots with no taste get all the money, the people with all taste and no money, craft shit at an alarming rate to sell to the idiots, but at least they sleep well at night.
But no dream wedding would be complete without the other items available only through this exclusive collection:
I just registered at Walgreens. Everything for our wedding was there except for the StereoDonkey. For that, we had to go to “Rockin’ Ron’s Amplified Animals Emporium and Petting Zoo”. Luckily, there’s one in my town.
Dude, Matt… you just made my fucking day.
It’s nice to know someone noticed. Thank you, Mystik.
That StereoDonkey made my day.
This is such a special day we should commemorate it with a display of the date suspended from a fibrous medium held by 2 dorks.
Zippy – will you and Matt be my two dorks?
It would be 50% my honor!
I’ve never been called a dork until now, but sure- I’ll be your dork! Do I get a paper “trainee” hat or something?
You may have had trouble because that’s a Stereo MULE. They’re a lot easier to find, I had several at my last birthday party.
A really bitchin’ party also requires a drug mule but they don’t like to be photographed, especially not from behind.
I fucking LOVE those Entenmann’s cakes.
And their mini chocolate chip cookies. Holy shit those are amazing.
That puts out some badass ass bass.
Ass Bass? I think I had that at a motel buffet once.
I’ve heard asses play bass.
Years ago, when MTV had that terrible game show “Remote Control”, Dr. Joyce Brothers was on and she asked the contestant a question that she was obviously reading from a card. The question was something like “The rapper _____ is known for pumping the fat bass” only she, being not terribly hip, read it phonetically (bass- like the fish). It was awesome.
I still say “pumping the fat bass” on a regular basis.
You just “say” that on a regular basis, right? Right?
FISH LOVE IS STILL LOVE, ZIPPY! Leave me alone! *huddles in shower, sobbing*
THE SCALES HAVE FALLEN FROM MY EYES!
Zippy and Matt, you guys are gilling me.
You guys do this pun stuff just for the halibut, don’t you?
Oi do it so people think Oi’m briny!
My most favorite comment ever, God bless you
I think I saw one of these banners at a local frat party.
This will make the front page. I just know it.
At least it’s not made out of placenta.
You’re such a “cup is half-full” girl, Angel.
If they saved up a bunch of umbilical cords they wouldn’t need yarn!
I’m gonna order one for 11/30/13 and plan events accordingly to save money. Who wants to marry me on Jan 13 next year? I have a few other dates in Jan, March, Oct and Nov open!
You have to admit that’s really bigamy.
Me! I will! You had me at “badass ass bass”.
This friend of mine, Polly Amorous, might be interested. I’ll ask her.
HEY it’s a Sunday I’m not working on and you know I’m a fan of yours!
“Banner” for “paper numbers on a string that you could easily do yourself for less than you would pay on this plus shipping.”
Really, if you’re selling me a banner, I want something more grandiose than paper numbers hanging from yarn.
I wonder if they have one that says “666″?
Oh, so close!
Only have one that says “999″.
They don’t have “666″-the number of the beast, but they have a bunch of “667″-the neighbor of the beast for reduced cost.
Maybe the “two dorks” are included? You could use them to hold up other things – awnings, the roof of your shed where it sags, etc.
I’m no psychologist but the soon to be husband’s clenched fist makes me think this one won’t last…
Well if a piece of string was complimenting me I thinking my fists would be a bit clenched too.
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