It’s all those billions little kids in China and India who’ve started making dream-catchers and construction paper turkeys for Thanksgiving! Globalization screws us again!
Some guy on the subway was muttering those numbers and suddenly yelled “hike!”. I didn’t have a ball, so I kicked him in the nuts and ran the other way. I’m not really familiar with the rules of football.
Recently, I received an invitation to a tony affair. “Complementary wine” was mentioned as an inducement to attendance. My R.S.V.P. queried confirmation of my inference that the hosts prefer I wear chardonnay- or merlot- colored attire.
Am I awful for not seeing anything awful with this? After all it’s advertised as a photo prop.
(And after all I despise mainstream weddings so I might not know enough about the customs surrounding them! :p )
It just makes me sad that someone would see this and say “cute idea” and fork over twenty dollars to have it mailed to them instead of just doing it themselves. Are we that lazy?
Did you see the shipping, though? $6 to the U.S. and $15 to Canada? So you’re going to spend either $14 or $23 total.
Priority shipping for something flat and virtually weightless is INSANE. It isn’t even guaranteed to get there faster. Why on earth wouldn’t you give people First Class as a choice, at least for domestic shipments?
lovinglymadewithspite
October 24, 2012 at 12:51 pm
I used to work in a stationary/party store, the panic that would set in on people’s faces when they realized that the words “first birthday” or “wedding shower” were not printed on the paper plates, was priceless.
I would remind them that the people attending the party would have been told why they were invited and there for did not need to read it on the plate when they arrived at said party.
I needed something just like this for our 500-guest wedding at my vacation mansion (the one on the private Mediterranean island, not the other one)to hang between the portico’s pillars where the guests getting off the helicopters would see it, but that piece of yarn looks too short so the deal’s off!
lovinglymadewithspite
October 24, 2012 at 12:54 pm
And it was too complicated to use toilet paper instead of yarn…. the t.p. kept ripping when i tried to tie it around the pillar.
I just sent Matt to pee the numbers on the gravel… Not very high contrast, but I think our guests felt welcomed and special…And that’s really what it’s about.
If I had known you people endure this kind of existence I would have had my helicopter pilot’s manservant drop some confetti* out the window as he flew over on your special day.
Well, why didn’t Kev give us a deal on his services as bartender/marriage legitimizer/ring boy/carriage? It’s the least he could have done seeing that he gave the guests the creeps, with his rough, calloused hands.
(attn. dropping a call back to previous regresty item): I guess the fact that he made our wedding rings, was enough.
-see what i did there….
It’s so the way of the world… the idiots with no taste get all the money, the people with all taste and no money, craft shit at an alarming rate to sell to the idiots, but at least they sleep well at night.
I just registered at Walgreens. Everything for our wedding was there except for the StereoDonkey. For that, we had to go to “Rockin’ Ron’s Amplified Animals Emporium and Petting Zoo”. Luckily, there’s one in my town.
Years ago, when MTV had that terrible game show “Remote Control”, Dr. Joyce Brothers was on and she asked the contestant a question that she was obviously reading from a card. The question was something like “The rapper _____ is known for pumping the fat bass” only she, being not terribly hip, read it phonetically (bass- like the fish). It was awesome.
I still say “pumping the fat bass” on a regular basis.
I’m gonna order one for 11/30/13 and plan events accordingly to save money. Who wants to marry me on Jan 13 next year? I have a few other dates in Jan, March, Oct and Nov open!
October 24, 2012 at 10:02 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 24, 2012 at 10:03 am
Wow…that’s my niece’s real wedding date… I might just have to splurge….
October 24, 2012 at 10:08 am
You might get a discount since they already made it!
October 24, 2012 at 10:09 am
NO DISCOUNTS!!! Don’t you know that construction paper and yarn prices are through the roof right now?
October 24, 2012 at 11:18 am
It’s all those billions little kids in China and India who’ve started making dream-catchers and construction paper turkeys for Thanksgiving! Globalization screws us again!
October 24, 2012 at 11:49 am
Will China never stop in its quest to rule the world with its Communist Craft Machine?
So many times I’ve seen mass-produced inferior godseyes and naugahyde wallets infiltrating our children’s summer camps!
October 24, 2012 at 11:58 am
My first clue was when I saw how many popsicle-stick crafts are now being made with disposable chopsticks instead.
October 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm
Our nation’s children have staggeringly high MSG levels because of them. Won’t somebody think of the children?
October 24, 2012 at 1:42 pm
They’re putting General Tso up on Crimes Against Humanity at the Hague, I hear.
October 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm
That guy could sometimes be very sweet, but he had a sour side, too.
October 24, 2012 at 4:25 pm
This is a great way to spruce up your house and perfect for PETA members who are anti-fir
October 24, 2012 at 3:18 pm
I read that as ‘Gobblelization’
October 24, 2012 at 10:06 am
I’d make mine the LOST numbers.
4-8-15-16-23-42
October 24, 2012 at 10:12 am
My Mother and Stepfather’s wedding photo has the two of them holding up the “Sorry” board-game between them. I always liked that.
October 24, 2012 at 10:19 am
I think I LOST the lottery playing those numbers.
October 24, 2012 at 10:22 am
Some guy on the subway was muttering those numbers and suddenly yelled “hike!”. I didn’t have a ball, so I kicked him in the nuts and ran the other way. I’m not really familiar with the rules of football.
October 24, 2012 at 11:07 am
I blame the inexperienced replacement refs they’re using on public transit these days.
October 24, 2012 at 4:55 pm
TOUCHDOWN RED SOX!
October 24, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Touchmedownthere on the #7! 10 stops and loss-of-seat penalty!
October 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm
You did it right – foot to the balls.
October 24, 2012 at 10:08 am
Thank god the banner comes assembled! I would’ve ended up with “21-71-2″ or something- I’m no artist, you know?
October 24, 2012 at 11:08 am
“Hike!” *covers groin*
October 24, 2012 at 10:15 am
At least the yarn will tell me my wedding colors are pretty and a wonderful choice. …Wait, did they mean complement?
October 24, 2012 at 10:44 am
Recently, I received an invitation to a tony affair. “Complementary wine” was mentioned as an inducement to attendance. My R.S.V.P. queried confirmation of my inference that the hosts prefer I wear chardonnay- or merlot- colored attire.
Shockingly, I received no response!
October 24, 2012 at 10:19 am
Is there really enough material there to actually be considered a “banner”?
It seems to me that it’s more of a “banner-in-progress” or a “future banner”.
October 24, 2012 at 10:33 am
“Future Banner” — aka The Hulk.
October 24, 2012 at 10:36 am
“Banner in Progress” – also The Hulk (while he’s changing back to David)
October 24, 2012 at 10:51 am
This is banner than other banns I’ve seen posted but far from the bannist-er.
October 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm
It’s rather banal, really.
October 24, 2012 at 10:29 am
Am I awful for not seeing anything awful with this? After all it’s advertised as a photo prop.
(And after all I despise mainstream weddings so I might not know enough about the customs surrounding them! :p )
October 24, 2012 at 10:32 am
And at least it’s not completely horribly overpriced.
October 24, 2012 at 10:47 am
Until you consider that she’s also charging $6.00 shipping in the US and $15 to Canada. I’m pretty sure for $14
October 24, 2012 at 10:47 am
I can get what I need in target.
October 25, 2012 at 6:27 pm
why go to target when you can dumpster dive ?
October 24, 2012 at 10:49 am
Dammit, you got there first.
October 24, 2012 at 11:32 am
That’s true. The target part as well.
October 24, 2012 at 11:54 am
It just makes me sad that someone would see this and say “cute idea” and fork over twenty dollars to have it mailed to them instead of just doing it themselves. Are we that lazy?
October 25, 2012 at 7:08 am
Some people just aren’t good with scissors.
October 25, 2012 at 4:21 pm
some people do not play well with others…
October 24, 2012 at 10:49 am
Did you see the shipping, though? $6 to the U.S. and $15 to Canada? So you’re going to spend either $14 or $23 total.
Priority shipping for something flat and virtually weightless is INSANE. It isn’t even guaranteed to get there faster. Why on earth wouldn’t you give people First Class as a choice, at least for domestic shipments?
October 24, 2012 at 11:15 am
Um, also – Priority isn’t $6…..she could use a flat-rate envelope (since the numbers aren’t huge) and it would be under $5….
October 24, 2012 at 11:42 am
Are you guys all having a business pow-wow about a more cost-effective way to sell construction-paper and yarn banners?
October 24, 2012 at 11:50 am
Not just construction paper and yarn banners…construction paper and yarn banners that will be a prop in a photo for a save-the-date announcement.
I blame Pinterest.
October 24, 2012 at 11:56 am
Well obviously SOMEONE should have.
Sheesh.
LEAN SIX SIGMA FOR LIFE, YO!
October 24, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Yeah, what really sucks about this is how mainstream it is. That’s the problem.
October 24, 2012 at 10:44 am
That’ll look great hanging over our sheet cake at the reception in the basement of the local VFW.
October 24, 2012 at 11:48 am
Just remember to request the yarn color that will best match the Hawaiian Punch you will be serving.
That way your guests will know you had a theme wedding.
October 24, 2012 at 12:51 pm
I used to work in a stationary/party store, the panic that would set in on people’s faces when they realized that the words “first birthday” or “wedding shower” were not printed on the paper plates, was priceless.
I would remind them that the people attending the party would have been told why they were invited and there for did not need to read it on the plate when they arrived at said party.
October 24, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Thank you, that was magnificent. I LOVE logical mistakes hiding under noses.
October 24, 2012 at 12:29 pm
I’m just sick of these raunchy Etsy product photos.
Showing off your bush just to sell a banner… that’s tacky.
October 24, 2012 at 1:41 pm
I didn’t think you could show full-on peonies on etsy, either. Disgraceful.
October 24, 2012 at 2:04 pm
That wood penetrating said bush, is lewd in the extreme.
October 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm
There oughta be a lawn!
October 24, 2012 at 10:45 am
I needed something just like this for our 500-guest wedding at my vacation mansion (the one on the private Mediterranean island, not the other one)to hang between the portico’s pillars where the guests getting off the helicopters would see it, but that piece of yarn looks too short so the deal’s off!
October 24, 2012 at 10:54 am
I had the same problem only mine was a hobo wedding. The highway-overpass pillars were too far apart.
October 24, 2012 at 11:22 am
Helicopters shouldn’t be landing under overpasses anyways.
October 24, 2012 at 12:54 pm
And it was too complicated to use toilet paper instead of yarn…. the t.p. kept ripping when i tried to tie it around the pillar.
I just sent Matt to pee the numbers on the gravel… Not very high contrast, but I think our guests felt welcomed and special…And that’s really what it’s about.
October 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm
And the steam kept us warm, briefly.
October 24, 2012 at 1:14 pm
If I had known you people endure this kind of existence I would have had my helicopter pilot’s manservant drop some confetti* out the window as he flew over on your special day.
*OK, shredded financial records
October 24, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Small world! My cousin Kevin is your helicopter pilot’s manservant’s personal spitoon/whipping boy! It’s like we’re related!
October 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Well, why didn’t Kev give us a deal on his services as bartender/marriage legitimizer/ring boy/carriage? It’s the least he could have done seeing that he gave the guests the creeps, with his rough, calloused hands.
(attn. dropping a call back to previous regresty item): I guess the fact that he made our wedding rings, was enough.
-see what i did there….
October 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm
I wasn’t aware people that far down the hierarchy even had names! I think you’re talking about the one we call *throat-clearing noise*.
October 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Us labor(or)(er)s are most of the time referred to by our minion names. Minion 1, Minion 2, Senor Minion or Hey You.
October 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm
Oooh! That reminds me, filet mignon for dinner!
October 24, 2012 at 11:16 am
I want to say anyone with half a brain could make this for WAY less than price + shipping, but then I remember that we’re talking about cupcakes here…
October 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm
It’s so the way of the world… the idiots with no taste get all the money, the people with all taste and no money, craft shit at an alarming rate to sell to the idiots, but at least they sleep well at night.
October 24, 2012 at 11:31 am
But no dream wedding would be complete without the other items available only through this exclusive collection:
October 24, 2012 at 11:40 am
I just registered at Walgreens. Everything for our wedding was there except for the StereoDonkey. For that, we had to go to “Rockin’ Ron’s Amplified Animals Emporium and Petting Zoo”. Luckily, there’s one in my town.
October 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm
Dude, Matt… you just made my fucking day.
October 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm
It’s nice to know someone noticed. Thank you, Mystik.
That StereoDonkey made my day.
October 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm
This is such a special day we should commemorate it with a display of the date suspended from a fibrous medium held by 2 dorks.
October 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Zippy – will you and Matt be my two dorks?
October 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm
It would be 50% my honor!
October 24, 2012 at 5:34 pm
OPEN BAR!
October 25, 2012 at 9:39 am
I’ve never been called a dork until now, but sure- I’ll be your dork! Do I get a paper “trainee” hat or something?
October 24, 2012 at 3:13 pm
You may have had trouble because that’s a Stereo MULE. They’re a lot easier to find, I had several at my last birthday party.
October 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm
A really bitchin’ party also requires a drug mule but they don’t like to be photographed, especially not from behind.
October 24, 2012 at 11:58 am
I fucking LOVE those Entenmann’s cakes.
October 24, 2012 at 12:14 pm
And their mini chocolate chip cookies. Holy shit those are amazing.
October 24, 2012 at 12:03 pm
That puts out some badass ass bass.
October 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm
Ass Bass? I think I had that at a motel buffet once.
October 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm
I’ve heard asses play bass.
October 24, 2012 at 12:41 pm
Years ago, when MTV had that terrible game show “Remote Control”, Dr. Joyce Brothers was on and she asked the contestant a question that she was obviously reading from a card. The question was something like “The rapper _____ is known for pumping the fat bass” only she, being not terribly hip, read it phonetically (bass- like the fish). It was awesome.
I still say “pumping the fat bass” on a regular basis.
October 24, 2012 at 1:40 pm
You just “say” that on a regular basis, right? Right?
October 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm
FISH LOVE IS STILL LOVE, ZIPPY! Leave me alone! *huddles in shower, sobbing*
October 24, 2012 at 1:49 pm
THE SCALES HAVE FALLEN FROM MY EYES!
October 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Zippy and Matt, you guys are gilling me.
October 24, 2012 at 5:00 pm
You guys do this pun stuff just for the halibut, don’t you?
October 24, 2012 at 7:07 pm
Oi do it so people think Oi’m briny!
October 24, 2012 at 10:42 pm
My most favorite comment ever, God bless you
October 24, 2012 at 11:53 am
I think I saw one of these banners at a local frat party.
October 24, 2012 at 12:21 pm
This will make the front page. I just know it.
October 24, 2012 at 12:34 pm
At least it’s not made out of placenta.
October 24, 2012 at 12:46 pm
You’re such a “cup is half-full” girl, Angel.
October 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm
If they saved up a bunch of umbilical cords they wouldn’t need yarn!
October 24, 2012 at 12:47 pm
I’m gonna order one for 11/30/13 and plan events accordingly to save money. Who wants to marry me on Jan 13 next year? I have a few other dates in Jan, March, Oct and Nov open!
You have to admit that’s really bigamy.
October 24, 2012 at 12:52 pm
Me! I will! You had me at “badass ass bass”.
October 24, 2012 at 12:57 pm
This friend of mine, Polly Amorous, might be interested. I’ll ask her.
October 24, 2012 at 3:30 pm
HEY it’s a Sunday I’m not working on and you know I’m a fan of yours!
October 24, 2012 at 12:50 pm
“Banner” for “paper numbers on a string that you could easily do yourself for less than you would pay on this plus shipping.”
Really, if you’re selling me a banner, I want something more grandiose than paper numbers hanging from yarn.
I wonder if they have one that says “666″?
October 24, 2012 at 1:05 pm
Oh, so close!
Only have one that says “999″.
October 24, 2012 at 1:14 pm
They don’t have “666″-the number of the beast, but they have a bunch of “667″-the neighbor of the beast for reduced cost.
October 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Maybe the “two dorks” are included? You could use them to hold up other things – awnings, the roof of your shed where it sags, etc.
October 24, 2012 at 3:07 pm
I’m no psychologist but the soon to be husband’s clenched fist makes me think this one won’t last…
October 24, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Well if a piece of string was complimenting me I thinking my fists would be a bit clenched too.