Inspiring Hint O’ Chicken Bath Salts™ available in these great scents:
*Not counting the food coloring
Well, it’d be wasteful to go out and buy new lids, so of course they have to upcycle from jars and other garbage found on the side of the road.
If you are going to charge $10 for some scented epsom salts, buy the proper jars. I save glass food jars for my beauty products, but they are for personal use only.
BUT IT COMES WITH A SCOOOOOOP!!!
hey, you’re not to mention that!
Spork, scoop. Same dif.
Etsy: where “scoop” = washed off disposable spoon. I’m inspired all right.
washed off disposable spoon = upcycled
Washed off= licked clean
licked clean = wiped off on the cat
Or.. at least cover the lid with something pretty. (I modpoge origami paper onto my personal lids.)
Though I still don’t think I’d pay 10 bucks for it.
And behind the lovely crafted item, we see the tools of the trade:
IMITATION STRAWBERRY EXTRACT!
LITTLE GRAINS OF SALT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE!!!
I swear, it’s like a little peek into an old world artisan’s studio!
Probably very similar to what DaVinci’s studio looked like.
Although I guess this is more of a “DuhVinci”.
mmmmm… donut scrubs….
Are these the same bath salts that made the guy eat someones face cause thats more of a Craigs list product than Etsy
Maybe the seller is a big Dungeons and Dragons person and meant contains “no dice”
If she is a true Etsy artisan these are made with kale extract
I now want chocolate bacon bath salts
And those things are in focus! Unlike the actual product they are selling.
That was also DaVinci’s problem – focus! Telescopes, Mona Lisas, Codes… The list goes on.
Jack of all trades, master of none- that was DaVinci! What a knucklehead! Just pick a thing and stick with it already!
And work on that penmanship!
A “flying machine”???? Get your head out of the clouds and get a job, hippy!
And shut up about Heliocentrism already or don’t come crying to me after they burn you at the stake!
And p.s., that chick with the ermine you painted? She’s no lady.
Zippy, with that one phrase you have completely changed my mind about the pun threads. Beautiful!
Welcome to the Dark Side, Lara!
This whole photo shoot is like a Highlights magazine What’s Wrong with this Picture? challenge.
So far, I’ve got:
1. crooked, blurry label peeling off
2. Food coloring/dye in dye free product
3. Dirty countertop
4. Dog food lid on beauty jar
4. Imitation strawberry extract, questionable ingredient
5. WHERE’S THE RUM?
how do you think they came up with the idea of making this and putting this photo up? That’s where the rum went!
All I see is a possible skin reaction/infection in the making.
Strawberry, veggies n’ chicken bath salts- Wasn’t this the stuff the Witch used to prep Hansel and Gretel for cooking?
Kindersalten… it’s right next to the BBQ rubs.
There’s a reason it’s called “Hidden Valley”.
They originally flirted with the name “No One Can Hear You Scream Valley”, but figured the label printing would cost a fortune.
“Down in the valley, valley so low,hang your head over, hear the wind blow” used to be the reason I was uneasy about valleys.
Yeah, somebody spelled “marinade” wrong.
Are the bath salts actually… chicken bouillon crumbs?
Has wood veneer kitchen tables replaced barn wood as the appropriate picture background?
Yes, and Prego jars from the apartment complex’s dumpster have replaced mason jars.
If you want your crap to sell at least put the effort into packaging and photographs. The orange bowl and crumb littered table do nothing for you.
Lol but as an added bonus her shop banner is the same picture of her face repeated over and over. To be fair, her chibis are cute
And to be fair, most of her things ARE on a background. And her clay items ARE cute.
Ah, well, she looks quite young. She’ll learn.
Or if you’re trying to sound green – at least paint the damn lid. And make a nicer label.
Man, she almost didn’t mention that it comes with a scoop! I’m sure glad she did! That’s a whole new ballgame!
Does the scoop have the imprint of the detergent brand who’s box she salvaged it from?
Or kitty litter brand?
That reminds me of this family who was marketing their veggies on the side of the road this past summer. I’m sure their chard was absolutely delicious, but I wasn’t about to remove it from the Tidy Cat container in which they were storing it.
I didn’t buy this product because I had suspicions that the container originally held something gross before they reused it.
Oh and you were all set to buy before you saw the container?
They were going to be an embellishment for my “Gland Tidings” Xmas cards
Plastic coffee scoop.
I realize that I’m probably not going to like the answer but, if there are no dyes, just how did seller get it that yellow shade?
The extracts definitely have dyes considering she’s using imitation. Sad all around.
Urine uncomfortable territory there, aliceblue.
We should just wizz past this subject, probably.
Piss is why we can’t have civil discourse around here.
In a perfect world, civility would be our #1 priority.
We’ve got a golden stream-of-consciousnesses going on here.
You’re right, Zippy; things are really going down the drain around here.
I’m flushed with shame.
Are we gonna just keep circling the bowl here or what?
This reminds me of that Urethra Franklin song – we need to show this seller a little Respect, man.
This thread has gone a wee bit off the rails.
I pee what you did there.
For her candles she uses soy and hemp, but her human brine uses artificial strawberry flavoring and food coloring? Worst. Hippy. Ever.
We’re gonna have to ask for your Foxfire books, hacky-sack and Berkenstocks back, ma’am.
they may take our Birkis, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM
Oh piddle, I knew you fellow degenerates would come up with some funnies.
They just went with the flow.
I’m reading the description as “extracts no dyes”. It doesn’t take the dye out of anything else. Which is good, I guess.
I myself like to skip the middleman and just scrub with rum.
I just skip the scrubbing and chug it straight from the bottle.
Gotta scrub the inside, too. You’re not workin’ hard, you’re workin’ smart.
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle o’ medicine!
That’s why people tell me I’m pretty on the inside.
Hey, don’t worry about that food coloring there in the background. It’s not dye, people, it’s coloring. It says so right on the box.
It just ‘tint the same, y’all!
Hue tone know that!
Her description seems kind of shady to me.
You reign, bro!
I ex-spectrumed you would say that.
You were light!
On the upside, at least it isn’t a douche. Small blessings, people. Small blessings.
Are these the bath salts that inspired that guy in Florida?
So, “inspired” is the word we’re using?
Do we mix the uric acid crystals with the rock salt before we scoop some out? I’d like to know that I’m pickling in the proper brine.
Perhaps you would prefer a “Pink Lemonmade Candle”? http://www.etsy.com/listing/111441634/pink-lemonmade-candles
If life gives you lemons, force them to craft lemony fuckery.
See, now THAT’s on a background.
She needs someone to take her aside and tell her all about proper presentation.
But not me, I’m still in the midst of my rum scrub.
I love the disclaimer. NO DYES… except for all this dye I added.
So it’s “No dice” then for the dye haters.
Keep in mind that these aren’t scents. They’re FLAVORS. (In case you’re an alien who can taste through your skin? Or perhaps just a computer-savvy housefly).
Finally, that operation I had where they grafted skin from my tongue onto my arm will have an upside!
Forget the coloring–that’s part of what made me feel queasy. The salty bathwater, the strawberry flavoring…gak.
It’s like a Glad Plug-In for your skin.
Now, now, remember your post about about mistakes that ended up better than intended and made us all Glade.
Yes, don’t just kick your jokes with typos to the curb like a big ol’ Glade garbage bag.
I don’t care if you say the frothy yellow liquid in the bathtub tastes like strawberries or rum or whatever. I don’t want a taste!
Salty water, strawberry flavoring – it’s GoLytely! Guaranteed to clean you up, inside and out!
Amd why is it yellow? Does that make it less dyed? Or more strawberry?
Never mind. I just saw that that jar is labeled “Sugary Sweet.” That makes the yellow food coloring so much more logical.
Just be glad(e) it doesn’t say “Sugary Sweat”.
It’s, um, the color of recycled GoLytely.
I’d use some next time I take a shower, but I’m on a diet.
Plus, the carrots, celery and onions keep clogging up the drain.
WATER, ALCOHOL (27%), EXTRACTIVES OF STRAWBERRY, APPLE JUICE CONCENTRATE, LACTIC ACID, CARAMEL COLOR, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, PROPYLENE GLYCOL, AND FD&C RED 40
I want to find out where she got her camera, so I can never go anywhere near that place.
Instagram? Maybe somebody just needs to teach young Jara the merits of lighting and white balance. But I would never expect that level of comprehension from someone a) with that shop banner, b) pushing human marinade, and c) who labels themselves as “creative” and, well…. does this:
You don’t like her “Easel and Painting with Elephant Legs”? I think it was featured on PeeWee’s Playhouse.
Or maybe I remember it from that dream I had where all my life’s failures sprouted legs and were chasing me.
You have that one too?!
I know people say this shit ALL the time – but – my son could TOTALLY do better.
It comes in three sizes – Gerber, Smuckers, and Ragu.
She discontinued “Big Gulp” because it didn’t stay sealed for shipping.
I wonder if she’d send me a Family Bucket size?
And couldn’t be shipped to New York.
Bloomberg’s such a size queen.
It’s the price that gets me. I can go get a jar of Wyler’s chicken bouillion for under five dollars, or less at the dollar store.
Chicken flavored salt isn’t really that expensive.
I would’ve thought that getting those chickens to stay down in the salt mines long enough for the salt to soak-in would be cost-prohibitive. Shows what I know.
Or maybe they use sea-going chickens? They’d have the salt built-in, I bet.
There’s an easier explanation: “I really thought Chicken Of The Sea was actually chicken.”
- The Jessica Simpson Book of Knowery
I hear it’s more of a leaflet- which, from what I gather, is made of leaves.
There is no binding. It is after all barely a single page long.
Oops! I misremembered the book title. The correct version is
‘The Jessica Simpson Matchbook of Knowery: Close Before Striking.’
My copy went all black and flaky and fell apart. Is that supposed to happen?
And as is often the case, getting introduced to the shop is the hidden treasure part of the post.
I read that to mean someone whose turd Regretsy finds might also have good stuff, so Regretsy is sometimes a bait-and-switch that turns out well for everyone. Unless you were using the sarcasm font? That is so hard to tell on my computer.
I think that’s what she’s saying. This is a poor example from an otherwise decent shop.
No! No and no. Just click on the item and you’ll see the Triple Goddess Tile explaining my comment.
(Although I often think of the commenter who let us know that at his/her job comic sans is a secret code during presentations for reading the sentence to oneself in a sarcastic voice.)
Is that a blue anus with teeth and handles or something weird?
She must have been tipped off… Because now it’s a tightly cropped blurry photo of strawberry vegetable rum chicken goodness!
Lying about ingredients pisses me off. There are people who are allegic to the dyes and chemicals in food coloring and imitation extracts. Imagine someone buying this thinking it was all natural and breaking out in hives, or worse.
If you have severe allergies, there are two things you should never, EVER buy*:
Bake sale goods
Home made bath products
*or use, touch, smell, or look at sideways
No shortberry rumstraw???
She has some alright work, but I am trying to wrap my head around her cheap plastic halloween “sugar skull”
I recognize that lid from Ragu Alfredo sauce. And it smells awful before you add all sorts of Imitation Strawberry.
I’m afraid if I buy this and use it, my skin will slough off, because that picture looks like something a serial killer would take.
it rubs the sugar into its skin
until it needs an epi-pen…
oh no, i almost posted “it’s skin”
vodka lemonades are a cruel mistress…
I add plenty of Rum when i soak in Chicken Soup. Actually what happens is I drink a lot of Rum and then pass out at the Campbell’s Soup plant.
You’re gonna get canned if you keep that up.
That was you over on production line #67?? Do you remember you tripped over something lying in line #53? That was me.
Sugary Sweet bath salts in three flavours. Does she expect us to drink this stuff after we’ve washed our bits and pieces in it? And where is the sweetness coming from anyway? She’s only listed epsom salts, artificial colour and artificial flavour. Where is the Sugary Sweet part?
Epsom salts work as a laxative. Don’t ask me how I know this. Also a handful of epsom salts in the bath will help ease muscle aches but you don’t need all of this crap added to it. At the most add two drops of lavender oil to the bath water.
are you a drunken pharmacist too???
I’m off flavored stuff ever since I learned that “natural raspberry flavor” comes from beaver anal glands.
OBVIOUSLY the seller was trying to say “This scrub… extracts no dyes.” Meaning it won’t strip the bright green out of your rebellious teenager’s hair, or the color from clothes if you’re one of those quirky few who bathes fully dressed. It’s simple grammar, folks! Sheesh!
Maybe “no dye” is an instruction, like “Do NOT dye these bath salts after you buy them. I mean it!”
It is interesting to note that she has since cropped the picture in question to hide her tools of the trade and the lid. Personally, I would have completely re-taken the photo but each to their own, I suppose…
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