Okay I know this is the second post I’ve suggested writing fanfiction about and then marketing it to publishers… But I think this one could be a real page-turner. The possibilities for button-related innuendos are endless.
… Or perhaps it would be terrifying… As these objects are made of buttons… Unbuttoning either of them would be like some “Silence of the Lambs”-esque horror.
Pandora’s Box has been opened. It’s only a matter of time before it turns up on Etsy with watch parts and buttons clumsily stuck onto it with hot glue.
Seriously I look at crap like this and wonder what is going on in people’s little pea brains. If they honestly made it because they hope to make a buck ok we have all been there. But if someone made this thinking it was good there is just no hope for people.
I KNOW. I don’t understand how people look at a rusty, falling apart bucket and think : I’ll glue some buttons on it and some eccentric person is BOUND to buy it! Especially if it’s 16 dollars!
Breathtaking. I’m now inspired to glue some googly eyes onto rusty coffee cans and sell them as a set of canisters. Screw this nursing gig, my future career awaits.
Am I the only one that sees a cyclops not a smiley face? And DAMN yummycake! I just bought a canister set! Would of actually bought an “ode to idiocy” created by you!!
As the resident regretsy Amish representative, all I have to say is damn ye English this will by bucket you shall travel to with hell. Even ye buckets are an offense to God with their prideful buttons. Hast ye no shame?
October 21, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I wish he had a dick glued on.
October 21, 2012 at 8:54 pm
The phallusy extends.
October 21, 2012 at 9:05 pm
Don’t get cocky.
October 22, 2012 at 10:52 am
Maybe it is IN the bucket?
October 21, 2012 at 4:14 pm
It looks more like a color blind test than a smiley face to me.
October 21, 2012 at 4:18 pm
The “he” obviously refers to the human remains that bucket was used to hold. I mean, LOOK at that face.
October 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Gender isn’t between your legs, it’s in your mind- or in this case, bucket.
This one identifies as a male… bucket.
October 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm
You are what you craft, you vintage sap.
October 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm
“Sap bucket.” Heeheehee!
October 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Maybe this is why hoarders hang on to buckets and plastic bags… so they can glue faces onto them and be surrounded by friends.
I just got a great idea for the lampshades in my storage room. GET TOGETHER AT MY PLACE
October 21, 2012 at 6:40 pm
I’m gluing faces to my owl-costume-dressed-child-care-employees. It’s a Hootenanny!
October 21, 2012 at 7:38 pm
*sklink!* I think I have a crush on you.
October 21, 2012 at 8:38 pm
Shit! Now it’s a swoiree! (In a good way)
October 21, 2012 at 9:44 pm
I’m gluing faces on my face, so it’ll be a masquerade.
October 21, 2012 at 11:07 pm
I’m taking the doors off the hinges so it’ll be a jamboree!
October 22, 2012 at 8:02 am
I’m wearing ill-fitting boots so it’ll be a shindig!
October 22, 2012 at 8:51 am
I’m taking the day off gardening so it’ll be a hoedown.
October 22, 2012 at 9:22 am
I’m bringing Gary Busey so it’ll be…well, just really scary.
October 22, 2012 at 10:16 am
That makes it a Rave!
October 21, 2012 at 11:36 pm
Yo dawg, we heard …
October 21, 2012 at 5:18 pm
October 21, 2012 at 5:20 pm
You can have your sad hot glue button bucket. This is the King and Queen of the Pearlies, people!
//drops mike//
October 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm
When I was a kid I had no idea what Traffic’s ‘Pearly Queen’ meant!
October 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm
I still don’t know. *goes to check *internet*.
October 21, 2012 at 6:48 pm
Still don’t know but it involves ‘My Destiny’. So, ‘Star Wars’?
October 21, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Silly Zippy!
http://www.cockneymuseum.u-net.com/pearlyintro.htm
October 21, 2012 at 9:12 pm
Gorblimey!
October 22, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Mike who? Or mic who? WHOM DID YOU DROP!
October 21, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Looks like he has the rusty bucket market all buttoned up.
October 21, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Do the Buttons make this a Goth Bucket?
October 22, 2012 at 7:39 am
You can carry it as a purse to a wedding or funeral.
October 22, 2012 at 8:55 am
Hipster Urn
October 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm
For the best Hobo Funerals.
October 23, 2012 at 11:30 am
Dying cold and alone is totes adorbs!
October 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Oh goodie, now we have a bin to throw Morphed Millie Minkie in. Or a “a new friend” for “her”, if you want to get whimsical.
October 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm
I know a certain hair comb who might want to know about this…
October 21, 2012 at 6:34 pm
Can I butt-in and say you are right?
October 21, 2012 at 6:49 pm
Okay I know this is the second post I’ve suggested writing fanfiction about and then marketing it to publishers… But I think this one could be a real page-turner. The possibilities for button-related innuendos are endless.
… Or perhaps it would be terrifying… As these objects are made of buttons… Unbuttoning either of them would be like some “Silence of the Lambs”-esque horror.
October 21, 2012 at 7:39 pm
But would our button story ever achieve – closure?
October 21, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Not once we rolled up our sleeves and got to work on it.
October 21, 2012 at 9:40 pm
…and sew on.
October 21, 2012 at 10:03 pm
the barrette pails in comparison.
October 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm
What a missed opportunity. They would’ve gotten more money if they glued clock parts to it & called it steampunk.
October 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm
Or just added “punk” to the end of it. “Buttonpunk!” It’s the latest thing.
October 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm
I am stunned that search turned up nothing on Etsy already. But now, the word is out there. It’s only a matter of time!
October 22, 2012 at 9:01 am
Pandora’s Box has been opened. It’s only a matter of time before it turns up on Etsy with watch parts and buttons clumsily stuck onto it with hot glue.
October 21, 2012 at 11:38 pm
First read that as “cock parts” and thought “ah, that’s where the ‘he’ comes in”.
October 21, 2012 at 6:04 pm
Only a sap would buy this.
October 21, 2012 at 6:11 pm
THIS. THIS is what’s meant by “Dildo is for external use only.” Precisely THIS.
October 21, 2012 at 6:32 pm
It could not be more obvious!!! All my thumbs are belong to you.
October 21, 2012 at 7:52 pm
Ow! Ow! Oh, wait, I don’t think I read that issue of the New Yorker yet…
October 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Seriously I look at crap like this and wonder what is going on in people’s little pea brains. If they honestly made it because they hope to make a buck ok we have all been there. But if someone made this thinking it was good there is just no hope for people.
October 21, 2012 at 7:44 pm
No! Don’t say you’re neither a smiley face lover nor a happy day supporter!
October 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm
I KNOW. I don’t understand how people look at a rusty, falling apart bucket and think : I’ll glue some buttons on it and some eccentric person is BOUND to buy it! Especially if it’s 16 dollars!
October 21, 2012 at 6:27 pm
HE is stunning!
October 21, 2012 at 6:31 pm
This is beyond the pail.
October 21, 2012 at 7:59 pm
That joke kicked… the bucket.
October 21, 2012 at 9:07 pm
I just can’t handle it. Better not to spigot all.
October 21, 2012 at 7:24 pm
Breathtaking. I’m now inspired to glue some googly eyes onto rusty coffee cans and sell them as a set of canisters. Screw this nursing gig, my future career awaits.
October 21, 2012 at 8:22 pm
Am I the only one that sees a cyclops not a smiley face? And DAMN yummycake! I just bought a canister set! Would of actually bought an “ode to idiocy” created by you!!
October 21, 2012 at 8:30 pm
I’m starting to be afraid of buttons thanks to Etsy (and in no small part Regretsy lately). I had no idea they could be so SINISTER.
October 21, 2012 at 9:35 pm
It’s definitely not on my bucket list.
October 21, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Yet it is on my “Fuck it” list.
October 21, 2012 at 11:41 pm
Where can I sign up to become a “happy day supporter”? Want!
October 22, 2012 at 2:48 am
Probably Richie Cunningham’s gym locker.
October 22, 2012 at 4:47 am
October 22, 2012 at 8:39 am
As the resident regretsy Amish representative, all I have to say is damn ye English this will by bucket you shall travel to with hell. Even ye buckets are an offense to God with their prideful buttons. Hast ye no shame?
October 22, 2012 at 9:03 am
Ya know, Velcro IS (tiny) hooks and loops. It must be deafening when everybody in a 12+ person household all take off their clothes to go to bed.
October 22, 2012 at 12:13 pm
We amish never take off our clothes. We are too humble.
October 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm
It feels like there’s a terrible “dick in a popcorn bucket” joke just waiting to pop out.