My first thought on looking at it was it was one of those chairs with the wrought iron backs. I had to look at it from several different angles before I realized it was a shelf.
Also, it’s not white. It’s black. Or maybe I need new glasses even more than I tought I did.
Let’s write this fanfiction. The wicker chair knows that iron baker’s racks are too rigid but their love knows no bounds Then we’ll change the names and send it to a publisher à la “50 Shades of Grey”.
I’m sorry, I’m mildly drunk. I don’t know what I’m talking about.
Zippy- 1) I was about to ask if you work from home, b/c you are always able to participate in every post and frequently.
2)Then I realized I must be 900 years old, b/c there are these new fangled things that give you online access anywhere, anytime.
3)Jus’ wonderin’.
I kinda like shelf as an adjective. “Dude, that’s so shelf!”
Or maybe it’s an uncapitalized name. “Shelf? Is that you? I haven’t seen you since the Ani Defranco concert!”
how about no one wanted to pay $125 for a piece of shit wicker “shelf” relic from 1984 with a giant hole in the middle of it that’s been repainted twice.
“Don’t know history…”
Obviously this is not a shelf at all but “Afghan Louie, Master of disguise”! I almost caught him when he posed as a bajingo covered bicycle seat.
That’s such an apathetic listing, I needed to immediately do hard drugs. If I did them. I’ll just take some Benadryl..
I’ve never seen a listing that made me feel I needed to check in with a friend about how I was feeling.
Good condition except somebody got blasted in the gut with a double-barrel shotgun while sitting in it, so there’s a giant-ass hole going right through the middle of it. Another murder-suicide pact gone horribly awry. Tragic.
October 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Are we sure it’s a even shelf? I’m starting to have my doubts.
October 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm
*Even A*
Motherfucker.
October 19, 2012 at 2:07 pm
I gotta level with ya, it doesn’t look entirely even.
October 19, 2012 at 2:52 pm
Too much shelf abuse can affect your eyesight.
October 19, 2012 at 5:31 pm
I’m reading this in Braille.
October 19, 2012 at 6:01 pm
My first thought on looking at it was it was one of those chairs with the wrought iron backs. I had to look at it from several different angles before I realized it was a shelf.
Also, it’s not white. It’s black. Or maybe I need new glasses even more than I tought I did.
October 19, 2012 at 7:14 pm
I thought it was a wrought iron chair too. My eyes are bad but I can tell it is black not whire.
October 19, 2012 at 8:35 pm
Looks like a wicker chair mated with an iron baker’s rack to me.
October 20, 2012 at 12:19 am
Let’s write this fanfiction. The wicker chair knows that iron baker’s racks are too rigid but their love knows no bounds Then we’ll change the names and send it to a publisher à la “50 Shades of Grey”.
I’m sorry, I’m mildly drunk. I don’t know what I’m talking about.
October 20, 2012 at 11:27 am
From what I heard neither did the SOG author; I say go for it.
October 19, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Damn, you must be good.
October 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Zippy- 1) I was about to ask if you work from home, b/c you are always able to participate in every post and frequently.
2)Then I realized I must be 900 years old, b/c there are these new fangled things that give you online access anywhere, anytime.
3)Jus’ wonderin’.
October 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm
why down thumbs? i realized you probably were using a phone or something, therefore must not have to be “at home”. Sorry.
October 19, 2012 at 2:09 pm
I kinda like shelf as an adjective. “Dude, that’s so shelf!”
Or maybe it’s an uncapitalized name. “Shelf? Is that you? I haven’t seen you since the Ani Defranco concert!”
October 19, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Man, that is just so brick.
October 19, 2012 at 2:22 pm
If things get any more escutcheon around here I’m gonna be all sill.
October 20, 2012 at 9:40 am
*panics as I look up the word escutcheon*
October 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm
*swoons over use of escutcheon*
October 19, 2012 at 2:04 pm
Once you go white, the shelf just ain’t right.
October 19, 2012 at 2:08 pm
But…I thought you never went back either. I’m confused.
October 19, 2012 at 2:18 pm
That gaping hole in the middle says “ruined”.
October 20, 2012 at 9:04 am
“Good condition except needs some repair” and a gaping hole: I think I want that on a t-shirt.
October 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm
You can go back. You just have to use at least six coats of primer.
October 19, 2012 at 7:52 pm
And you know they didn’t use Kilz or anything like that. Just bought a can of white spray paint at the Walmart, so now it’s just a sad sad grey.
October 19, 2012 at 2:08 pm
Now that many of the birds have migrated away, it won’t be getting much whiter until the snow starts falling…
October 19, 2012 at 2:08 pm
It is now also a chair, made of cotton candy, and no longer listed on Etsy.
Guess which one I made up.
October 19, 2012 at 2:44 pm
We need to pinch Phyllis’ tits.
October 19, 2012 at 2:10 pm
how about no one wanted to pay $125 for a piece of shit wicker “shelf” relic from 1984 with a giant hole in the middle of it that’s been repainted twice.
October 19, 2012 at 2:11 pm
although you think if i told them i like safety orange they’d paint it again??
October 19, 2012 at 2:21 pm
Wait!! It’s changing color again . . . Blue, no, pink AHHHHHHHHH.
October 19, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Orange you glad it’s not black anymore?
October 19, 2012 at 8:39 pm
But the shipping cost makes me see red.
October 19, 2012 at 8:41 pm
Hue rascal!
October 19, 2012 at 4:29 pm
My bet is that hole is a portal to another dimension, just waiting to suck in the unwary.
October 21, 2012 at 5:33 am
I finally made it to Narnia!!!!!
October 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm
Who fired the cannonball through it?
October 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm
That’s true outsider art. Someone or something was trying to get outside.
October 19, 2012 at 2:24 pm
It was me.
October 19, 2012 at 2:16 pm
$75 shipping except I’ll deliver.
Now safety orange except Ecru.
Will kill you in your sleep except it makes a great babysitter.
October 19, 2012 at 2:30 pm
White is black!
Truth is lies!
War is peace!
October 20, 2012 at 2:57 am
Ignorance is bliss!
October 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm
But will it wear the owl costume while you sleep?
October 19, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Does it dress as an owl?
October 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm
OOAK except I have an unlimited supply.
October 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm
A regrettable failure of affirmative action.
October 20, 2012 at 10:49 am
The Eddie Murphy of shelves?
October 19, 2012 at 2:19 pm
It looks like a giant insect…like it might just walk off in the middle of the night.
October 19, 2012 at 2:19 pm
“Don’t know history…”
Obviously this is not a shelf at all but “Afghan Louie, Master of disguise”! I almost caught him when he posed as a bajingo covered bicycle seat.
October 19, 2012 at 2:34 pm
I almost nabbed him when he was a house-fowl diaper but he ducked out on me.
October 19, 2012 at 2:57 pm
I spotted him in China, then he was all over the place.
October 19, 2012 at 8:46 pm
I came this close to bagging him when he was a small purse made from a soda bottle but he escaped my clutches.
October 19, 2012 at 2:46 pm
Don’t know much about Regretsy
Don’t know much about being twee
Don’t know much about shelf abuse
Don’t know much about the paint I used
But I do know that I want you
To pay me my shipping that’s due
What a wonderful world Etsy Be.
October 19, 2012 at 2:51 pm
Damn you to hell for a Friday afternoon earworm.
October 19, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Obviously no one seems to like the white either.
October 20, 2012 at 10:54 am
I’m starting to think the problem MIGHT not be the color…
October 19, 2012 at 2:56 pm
That’s such an apathetic listing, I needed to immediately do hard drugs. If I did them. I’ll just take some Benadryl..
I’ve never seen a listing that made me feel I needed to check in with a friend about how I was feeling.
October 19, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Good condition except somebody got blasted in the gut with a double-barrel shotgun while sitting in it, so there’s a giant-ass hole going right through the middle of it. Another murder-suicide pact gone horribly awry. Tragic.
October 19, 2012 at 3:00 pm
I bet nobody likes it in White, either.
October 19, 2012 at 3:05 pm
It looks like a dining chair had a three-way with a bird cage and a milk crate, and this is the unfortunate bastard offspring.
October 19, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Now see, wouldn’t that right there have made the… piece… much more interesting? Not $75 shippingworth, but markedly better.
October 19, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Former use: naked owner knelt in front of it with head through broken spot. Will require several more coats of paint to erase its history.
October 19, 2012 at 7:21 pm
hmm wicker glory hole?
October 20, 2012 at 7:38 am
That’s a sticky wicket.
October 19, 2012 at 7:48 pm
I see some wicker and I want to paint it black
no colors anymore I want them to go black
October 19, 2012 at 9:13 pm
I buy the wicker shelf to put it on my floor
For 75. Dollars they will bring it to my door.
October 19, 2012 at 10:03 pm
Paint it paint it paint it
Paint it White!
Paint it paint it paint it
Paint it White!
October 19, 2012 at 10:15 pm
Mick we are so sorry.
October 19, 2012 at 10:34 pm
no we are not, we are still trying to remember all the words
October 20, 2012 at 7:08 am
No worries, Mick can’t remember all the words anymore…