Are we sure it’s a even shelf? I’m starting to have my doubts.
I gotta level with ya, it doesn’t look entirely even.
Too much shelf abuse can affect your eyesight.
I’m reading this in Braille.
My first thought on looking at it was it was one of those chairs with the wrought iron backs. I had to look at it from several different angles before I realized it was a shelf.
Also, it’s not white. It’s black. Or maybe I need new glasses even more than I tought I did.
I thought it was a wrought iron chair too. My eyes are bad but I can tell it is black not whire.
Looks like a wicker chair mated with an iron baker’s rack to me.
Let’s write this fanfiction. The wicker chair knows that iron baker’s racks are too rigid but their love knows no bounds Then we’ll change the names and send it to a publisher à la “50 Shades of Grey”.
I’m sorry, I’m mildly drunk. I don’t know what I’m talking about.
From what I heard neither did the SOG author; I say go for it.
Damn, you must be good.
Zippy- 1) I was about to ask if you work from home, b/c you are always able to participate in every post and frequently.
2)Then I realized I must be 900 years old, b/c there are these new fangled things that give you online access anywhere, anytime.
why down thumbs? i realized you probably were using a phone or something, therefore must not have to be “at home”. Sorry.
I kinda like shelf as an adjective. “Dude, that’s so shelf!”
Or maybe it’s an uncapitalized name. “Shelf? Is that you? I haven’t seen you since the Ani Defranco concert!”
Man, that is just so brick.
If things get any more escutcheon around here I’m gonna be all sill.
*panics as I look up the word escutcheon*
*swoons over use of escutcheon*
Once you go white, the shelf just ain’t right.
But…I thought you never went back either. I’m confused.
That gaping hole in the middle says “ruined”.
“Good condition except needs some repair” and a gaping hole: I think I want that on a t-shirt.
You can go back. You just have to use at least six coats of primer.
And you know they didn’t use Kilz or anything like that. Just bought a can of white spray paint at the Walmart, so now it’s just a sad sad grey.
Now that many of the birds have migrated away, it won’t be getting much whiter until the snow starts falling…
It is now also a chair, made of cotton candy, and no longer listed on Etsy.
Guess which one I made up.
We need to pinch Phyllis’ tits.
how about no one wanted to pay $125 for a piece of shit wicker “shelf” relic from 1984 with a giant hole in the middle of it that’s been repainted twice.
although you think if i told them i like safety orange they’d paint it again??
Wait!! It’s changing color again . . . Blue, no, pink AHHHHHHHHH.
Orange you glad it’s not black anymore?
But the shipping cost makes me see red.
My bet is that hole is a portal to another dimension, just waiting to suck in the unwary.
I finally made it to Narnia!!!!!
Who fired the cannonball through it?
That’s true outsider art. Someone or something was trying to get outside.
It was me.
$75 shipping except I’ll deliver.
Now safety orange except Ecru.
Will kill you in your sleep except it makes a great babysitter.
White is black!
Truth is lies!
War is peace!
Ignorance is bliss!
But will it wear the owl costume while you sleep?
Does it dress as an owl?
OOAK except I have an unlimited supply.
A regrettable failure of affirmative action.
The Eddie Murphy of shelves?
It looks like a giant insect…like it might just walk off in the middle of the night.
“Don’t know history…”
Obviously this is not a shelf at all but “Afghan Louie, Master of disguise”! I almost caught him when he posed as a bajingo covered bicycle seat.
I almost nabbed him when he was a house-fowl diaper but he ducked out on me.
I spotted him in China, then he was all over the place.
I came this close to bagging him when he was a small purse made from a soda bottle but he escaped my clutches.
Don’t know much about Regretsy
Don’t know much about being twee
Don’t know much about shelf abuse
Don’t know much about the paint I used
But I do know that I want you
To pay me my shipping that’s due
What a wonderful world Etsy Be.
Damn you to hell for a Friday afternoon earworm.
Obviously no one seems to like the white either.
I’m starting to think the problem MIGHT not be the color…
That’s such an apathetic listing, I needed to immediately do hard drugs. If I did them. I’ll just take some Benadryl..
I’ve never seen a listing that made me feel I needed to check in with a friend about how I was feeling.
Good condition except somebody got blasted in the gut with a double-barrel shotgun while sitting in it, so there’s a giant-ass hole going right through the middle of it. Another murder-suicide pact gone horribly awry. Tragic.
I bet nobody likes it in White, either.
It looks like a dining chair had a three-way with a bird cage and a milk crate, and this is the unfortunate bastard offspring.
Now see, wouldn’t that right there have made the… piece… much more interesting? Not $75 shippingworth, but markedly better.
Former use: naked owner knelt in front of it with head through broken spot. Will require several more coats of paint to erase its history.
hmm wicker glory hole?
That’s a sticky wicket.
I see some wicker and I want to paint it black
no colors anymore I want them to go black
I buy the wicker shelf to put it on my floor
For 75. Dollars they will bring it to my door.
Paint it paint it paint it
Paint it White!
Paint it paint it paint it
Paint it White!
Mick we are so sorry.
no we are not, we are still trying to remember all the words
No worries, Mick can’t remember all the words anymore…
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