i don’t find it to look much like real shit. or maybe it’s because the lighting/resolution/etc are so different than the background? at first i actually thought it was some sort of intestine
I got stuck in traffic behind what appeared to be a 1973 Citroën station wagon from the UK (judging by the steering wheel orientation) with macramé cupcakes hanging from the rearview mirror because of this is Austin and I’m honestly surprised the cupcakes weren’t accompanied by knit penises.
Alberta is weird too. There is a car on our street that must be owned by an embittered cupcake. It has doll-faces cut in half–they stare at you– and white-over-orange crocheted…pumpkin…things on the back window ledge. There are also harvest-coloured pot-dealer patterned seat coverings and random stuffed animals in this car. It’s like the creepy corner of a senior’s home, on wheels.
I’m kinda guessing the guy who puts this creepy rag on his bicycle seat isn’t going to be having any genuine vagina anywhere near his crotch anytime soon.
I think I’ll save $45. I ride my bike a lot, and I’ve got one of these covering the seat automatically. Just in a different orientation from the one shown.
Wait. Look at it one way and it’s a vagina… but turn it around and it looks like a penis and an asshole with hemorrhoids! Like those magic pictures where the eyes follow you!
I know why no one has stolen the seat cover. the seller left out the part where her bike was stolen and the thief left the crocheted cooch cozy behind on the ground.
My friend’s car got jacked in Detroit in the early 90′s and all that was left behind was some broken glass and his Country music cassette that was actually ejected from the deck and thrown out the window. So, Detroit car thieves have standards.
I used to have slippers crocheted out of that yarn. They were a Christmas gift from a family friend who was blitzed out of her gourd most of the time. I wore them for about five minutes before the bottoms of my feet felt as if I’d been walking barefoot on pea-gravel.
So, put the same material on a bicycle seat? No. Absolutely not.
Flashback is indeed an appropriate category. I am now huddling in the corner of the room, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth. That I can type at all to tell you this is amazing.
It seems pretty realistic to me, though, right down to the pubes and the man in the boat. Maybe if they had a plush penis, they could use it in sex ed classes?
Urinary Tract Infection. I bet that monstrosity is not made of cotton, so when she puts her girly bits on it the sweat and heat will start the stinging before she gets home. And she ‘rarely removes’ it which means it hasn’t been washed since about 1974. All I can think is double-strength Bactrim and a bottle of cranberry juice.
I think I’d find this slightly less disturbing if it actually looked more like a vagina. As it stands, I keep trying to find eyes on it because it looks like a very pink-faced person with a receding hairline and an afro.
October 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Please get rid of the pile of shit. It makes me want to throw up.
October 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Yeah, me too.
October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm
i don’t find it to look much like real shit. or maybe it’s because the lighting/resolution/etc are so different than the background? at first i actually thought it was some sort of intestine
October 19, 2012 at 7:07 am
Oh, you guys were talking about the one in the banner. I gotcha.
October 19, 2012 at 9:32 am
Evidently, yours doesn’t come out flecked in gold leaf. You must be a fat, jealous loser.
October 19, 2012 at 10:26 am
Mine does but I think that’s cause of all the gold schlager I drink. :p
October 19, 2012 at 9:12 am
With all due respect, it does rather offend my delicate nature.
*cough*
October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Shit is about the only thing NOT present on this little microbe trap.
October 18, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Sure? That brown wool covers a multitude of sins… while committing one big one of its own.
October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm
i like it.
October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Of course it was made in Austin. Why am I even surprised? This town is full of macrame’d fixies.
October 18, 2012 at 9:07 pm
I got stuck in traffic behind what appeared to be a 1973 Citroën station wagon from the UK (judging by the steering wheel orientation) with macramé cupcakes hanging from the rearview mirror because of this is Austin and I’m honestly surprised the cupcakes weren’t accompanied by knit penises.
October 18, 2012 at 11:48 pm
Alberta is weird too. There is a car on our street that must be owned by an embittered cupcake. It has doll-faces cut in half–they stare at you– and white-over-orange crocheted…pumpkin…things on the back window ledge. There are also harvest-coloured pot-dealer patterned seat coverings and random stuffed animals in this car. It’s like the creepy corner of a senior’s home, on wheels.
October 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm
No pervs in Austin??
October 19, 2012 at 8:31 am
Oh, we have plenty. Myself included.
October 19, 2012 at 10:45 am
Oh me too! me too. But I tend to perv on other men so this seat cover serves as a warning for me.
But okay can you imagine this seat cover in the summer heat and humidity? Can you say “rug burn”?
October 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm
It looks upside down to me…I need to study up on crotch-et anatomy.
October 19, 2012 at 9:33 am
It IS upside down. Well, I’m pretty sure. BRB…gotta go get my hand mirror.
October 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm
This made me think about religious questions.
Is it possible to re-birth?
If it is possible to be born again,
how to re-birth?
If I live a good life now, can I be in the next life women’s bike seat?
October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm
Your good works on Earth now should ensure that.
October 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm
I’m kinda guessing the guy who puts this creepy rag on his bicycle seat isn’t going to be having any genuine vagina anywhere near his crotch anytime soon.
October 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm
I think I’ll save $45. I ride my bike a lot, and I’ve got one of these covering the seat automatically. Just in a different orientation from the one shown.
October 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Wait. Look at it one way and it’s a vagina… but turn it around and it looks like a penis and an asshole with hemorrhoids! Like those magic pictures where the eyes follow you!
October 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm
That would be one hairy ass…
October 18, 2012 at 11:18 pm
“Why no, that’s not an asshole with hemorrhoids! That’s just my gaping maw of a vagina. Why do you ask?”
October 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm
Pink Cyclops With Afro wants to smell your crotch with his long nose while you’re waiting at the light. It’s just to check how you’re cycling.
October 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm
Every passing dog is going to want to sniff that pheromone-catcher, and then mark the bike with pee.
October 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm
Zippy, do you think that first sentence is one of the weirdest you’ve ever written?
Just wondering.
October 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm
I’d have to check Regretsy archives. I’ve busted out some doozies.
October 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm
I’ve got the spilled-coffee laugh memories to verify that…
October 18, 2012 at 7:36 pm
My Presidential platform also had some “weird” stuff on it, if you have conventional attitudes about – I’ve said too much.
October 19, 2012 at 10:50 am
It’s almost election day. No time now to be coy!
October 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Why would you want this? Isn’t the crotch of a bike rider a sort of sweaty place already? And to pay 45 dollars for it? I don’t get it.
October 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Thriftiness is the enemy of unnecessary, not-very-witty knitted crap for sale.
October 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm
October 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm
I saw the top of this as I scrolled down, and thought it was going to be a Predator poster. I’m strangely disappointed.
October 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm
That’s an impressive cast. I’d go see it.
October 19, 2012 at 2:36 pm
me too. the cast is shagadelic!
October 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm
My I rub myself on your awesomeness?
October 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm
I know why no one has stolen the seat cover. the seller left out the part where her bike was stolen and the thief left the crocheted cooch cozy behind on the ground.
October 18, 2012 at 8:21 pm
My friend’s car got jacked in Detroit in the early 90′s and all that was left behind was some broken glass and his Country music cassette that was actually ejected from the deck and thrown out the window. So, Detroit car thieves have standards.
October 18, 2012 at 6:11 pm
All I see is Leslie West circa 1970, after passing out in the sun.
October 18, 2012 at 6:48 pm
The first thought that came to my mind (once I figured out what it was) was “Oh Lord, the chafing!”
October 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm
Hi. Straight Guy here.
“I have had no reports of cover theft”
This is an anti-theft device.
October 18, 2012 at 8:27 pm
“Easily removed…by those in the know”
THAT’S why no theft! Our public schools cut acrylic sex-ed!
October 18, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Sad saddle is sad.
October 18, 2012 at 10:31 pm
I used to have slippers crocheted out of that yarn. They were a Christmas gift from a family friend who was blitzed out of her gourd most of the time. I wore them for about five minutes before the bottoms of my feet felt as if I’d been walking barefoot on pea-gravel.
So, put the same material on a bicycle seat? No. Absolutely not.
October 19, 2012 at 5:41 am
October 19, 2012 at 6:08 am
Flashback is indeed an appropriate category. I am now huddling in the corner of the room, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth. That I can type at all to tell you this is amazing.
October 19, 2012 at 6:21 am
she describes herself as an “art-throb”. that really says it all, doesn’t it?
October 19, 2012 at 6:34 am
Hey lady, I think your seat cover has a yeast infection (the white stuff near the vulva).
October 19, 2012 at 6:52 am
Never knew that Bob Ross was a cyclops.
October 19, 2012 at 11:27 am
It seems pretty realistic to me, though, right down to the pubes and the man in the boat. Maybe if they had a plush penis, they could use it in sex ed classes?
October 20, 2012 at 5:54 am
Urinary Tract Infection. I bet that monstrosity is not made of cotton, so when she puts her girly bits on it the sweat and heat will start the stinging before she gets home. And she ‘rarely removes’ it which means it hasn’t been washed since about 1974. All I can think is double-strength Bactrim and a bottle of cranberry juice.
November 24, 2012 at 2:45 am
I think I’d find this slightly less disturbing if it actually looked more like a vagina. As it stands, I keep trying to find eyes on it because it looks like a very pink-faced person with a receding hairline and an afro.