Oh for fuck’s sake, it’s a comb, not the Sylvia Plath story. Put down The Bell Jar and go outside for a change.
Anne of Green Fables.
It’s a frikking comb with buttons glued on it! Goth wedding? Your friends will laugh at you and then drily quote Edgar Allan Poe lines in mockery.
Or whatever it is Goths do these days.
And not even a decent comb or vintage buttons. Looks like stuff fished out of her sofa cushions.
IDK. All the Goth people I know are freakishly perky. I’ve only met one depressed Goth. (I didn’t think they existed until then. My only samples were ~50 perky people who wore lots of black and giggled while listening to angry sounding music.)
The perkiness is not the point.
Perkiness is generally either the point or the problem in my experience.
Looking at the post.. someone actually bought it! WHY oh WHY would one buy such crap?
She’s right. It could NEVER look just right without the white buttons.
on the other hand, it would never look right with any buttons, especially not odd ones found on the floor of a thrift store…..
“So much depends on the Goth hipster hobos, glazed with Merlot buttons, beside the white chickens.”
At least that’s how I think it goes.
I died for buttons, but was scarce
Adjusted in the tomb,
When one who died for goth was lain
In an adjoining room.
He questioned softly why I failed?
“For buttons,” I replied.
“And I for goth – the two are one;
We brethren are,” he said.
And so, as kinsmen met a-night,
We talked between the rooms,
Until the hot glue had reached our lips,
And covered our hipster names.
Without the LIGHT white buttons. I mean, if it were a dark white coloring on the buttons, I think we could all agree it would look like a ridiculously large comb with cheap looking buttons glued to it.
All right, which one of you bought it? I’d like to see pics, preferably of it being used as a back-scratcher.
almost a backscratcher?
Hope is almost gone when you try to reach your back and you can’t.
Hope is completely gone that anything other than absolute bullshit void of any semblance of actually putting effort and thought into creating something of true artistic talent exists on etsy. Watch this “too lazy to craft anything” POS end up on the front page! (I feel better now & there ARE many true Artisans on etsy. Although wading through the dismal, lackadaisical, failures is exhasting).
Hope is the thing with feathers. Not buttons.
[Hey, if chinesereseller can quote Emily Dickinson, so can I ... ]
Pair it with this daring rake cape!
“Almost gives off… mysterious vibe…almost merlot…hope almost gone…”
DAMMIT! For $5.00 I want absolutes!
At least the price is fair for what is pretty much a bunch of crap you can get at the dollar store.
It is so craptastic I won’t even make my own at home.
That’s a 2009 price though. God knows what she’d want for it now.
‘Hope never leaves. Just like the white in this comb.’
So in other words, it’s just like Pandora’s box?
Hope never leaves. She’s still sleeping on my couch.
Hope floats. Shit sinks. Healthy shit, anyway.
I think that white stuff left in the comb is dandruff.
I thought Hope was supposed to be the thing with feathers that perches in the soul. She wasted a perfectly good Dickinson reference! And she calls herself a goth.
Apparently she ran out of buttons to make it completely to the end of the comb.
It’s almost finished.
Probably used generic glue and the buttons are already falling off.
I was thinking the same thing! Unless the girl used E6000, or whatever the number glue is… those buttons are probably log-jammed down some animal’s (maybe a house duck?) throat… It waits for hope, but then ……
No hope for you!
They can be recovered from the duck’s diaper eventually. Reduce, reuse, upcycle!
you can use the comb to pick through the goose-poo.
Maybe, instead of laboring to produce overwrought prose to distract buyers, the seller could devote all that energy to creating a better product?
Oh, wait, it’s Etsy.
It looks like some kind of creature that’s about to gallop away on its plastic legs into the almost hopeless goth wedding night.
“I think you can tell why I like this one”.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but her words will never hurt me, or get me to buy that shit.
Finally, something to do with the 500 buttons I’ve collected from every shirt I’ve bought since I was 12! I was starting to think I would need to will them to my heirs….
Think of all the combs you can make dede… if you have 500 and this model only requires 6… that’s 83.333333 combs of somber satisfaction for you!!! (I’m cheering in my Goth-tone ferver… yeh.)
and at $5.00 each…. that’s $416.65 of craptastic joy. You may have to spend $2.50 on 83 plastic combs (at .03 each), but the rest is pure miserable profit….
I keep thinking about why I should know why you like this one, but I’m not combing up with anything.
All i can surmise is that she likes it because it is used to comb heavy hearted, sad-sack, bullshit out her heavy handed, black eyeliner wearing, Goth/Craft soul when she realized that being Goth was so 80′s and she missed it.
Dis tresses me to no end.
Keep your heron!
I thought about it for a while too, and now I’m brushed.
I wish I could comb up with a witty comb back!
or a witty backcomb?
It’s one big chign-yawn
It’s a hairy situation
Stop teasing, you guys!
…Glasgow said with a snarl.
Afro got what we were talking about. I’ll just wing it.
Now you’re on the right page, boy.
Weave finally arrived at an understanding.
Whew! Because our split ends this thread.
And it must never dye.
What a bald statement!
It’s a typical male pattern.
. . . and there will be hell toupée.
I can’t stop hearing the “bud-dum-cha” of cymbols… over and over and over and over and over.
I can’t stop hearing the “bud-dum-cha” of cymbals… over and over and over and over and over.
We must never part, or I would surely flip.
Goths might be more mystified by Velcro instead. If they truly were Goths.
I am always looking for things that go perfect for both weddings AND funerals!
It’s so wasteful to shop for just the one!
A good stiff one goes with both!
It’s hard to find anything better!
We made better craft projects in Girl Scouts.
The more I look at those white buttons, the more I keep picturing some poor kid going to school with their blouse held together with safety pins.
Who wears white buttons in their hair to a funeral?
Who wears buttons in their hair?
One of those shirts?
Step 1 Put superglue on a thing
Step 2 Throw it into a box of smaller things
Step 3 There is no Step 3
Step 4 PROFIT!
Step 3 is to double check that hope didn’t leave while you were distracted by the thought of Step 4.
Shame on those of you who can’t appreciate the beauty and poetry in this exquisite piece of art. I look at it and feel nothing but…aesthetic pleasure. My brain is grateful to encounter master pieces like these out there in the world. Sorry if God didn’t gift you with a deep soul and a sensitive eye. True art can only be appreciated by special souls like for example, me and the person who created this piece. Now I will stop writing so I can keep staring at this magnificent sculpture. Thanks a lot for reading this thoughtful comment. I hope that you find some poetry in it. Truly yours,
A unique soul from planet ETSY.com
That is so beautiful… *cries glitter tear*
I’m glad that you’re one of us.
My heart is broken!!!!!
The comb has been sold!!
Why was I so slow!
“Hope never quite leaves.”
Jerry Colonna says to go home, Hope.
Hey, Hope is a nice person! Stop bashing her!!! Or I *WILL* use up all the exclamation marks. See if I don’t!!!!!!!!!!
Hope’s not leaving here until she’s put all the game pieces back in their correct compartments in the boxes and gotten all the underwear down from the chandeliers given the cat a bath!
As an not-unproud member of the Amish community, that comb is too fancy. It is why you English are going to go to hell. That and toasters.
Are you allowed to use the Internet?
Toasters are worth it, ever since Pop Tarts got invented.
How can something be the end of the middle? “Midwinter’s end” makes about as much sense as … as glueing no button on the end. Almost.
Apparently she’s “on vacation”: ‘If you “desperately need” me while I’m gone, send me a convo and I’ll see what I can do.’
Good grief. I know people in the theatre community that are less dramatic.
It’s a comb with buttons on it. NOBODY NEEDS THAT. How about you make something people might actually use? Can you do that?
I’m cranky this morning.
I was going to mention it was pretty close to Halloween so the market for fuckery is urgent but then I remembered this was a REPEAT from THREE YEARS AGO since Helen is too “BUSY” to do a job she’s not getting paid for while she tries to do a job she is getting paid for, yet it was close to Halloween at that time, too therefore my point is VALID and that’s why they should bring back “My Name is Earl”.
I wish they would bring back “Cavemen”. But apparently I’m the only one.
Thanks so much for posting this. I am always going on Etsy to find the perfect button-decorated accessories to wear to funerals. It’s hard because sometimes people forget to glue white buttons to the accessories, which makes them not look quite right. And then everyone at the funeral looks at you like, “what are you THINKING?” You have no idea how many times that has happened to me!
Stop going to all those funerals, trolling for teenagers to corrupt, Ruth Gordon!
Why would you need a comb for your chest? If anything at all, should this not be a hair ornament?
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