AND THIS IS WHY MOMMY WANTS YOU TO STAY IN YOUR CAR SEAT
Parts is parts…..
Unlike her old brother, Chucky, Lucy was a relatively easy to ‘deal’ with…..
And here’s her younger brother!
Aaaaand there’s tonight’s nightmare all taken care of. At least until the debate.
What the fucking fuck IS THAT OH GOD HELP US ALL
HAAAAAAY! That’s my doll! I made him (and love him and squeeze him and call him George)…
Who the hell is Sodahead? Totally not affiliated with that site. Anyway, thanks for posting. Glad I could freak some of you out.
one word: zombies!
Naked and battered. I’ve seen this on Lifetime…or maybe in Florida.
Find a new hobby, naked face-eating guy!
Things you say to dump your zombie boyfriend!
Just be careful how you phrase “Eat me” to the zombie boyfriend.
Yeah, he’d probably wind up giving you a little head by accident.
I love where the mouth is!!
YOU SAW IT TOO!!!
Is that her little mouth up by her right unblinking eye? Twisted upside down in a neverending scream?
Sweet baby(doll) Jesus, that is disturbing…
What’s disturbing to me is that the photo is photoshopped to be more…whatever.
The other photos in the listing don’t show the same, um, assortment of facial parts.
Photoshop is not always used for the powers of good, melagrana. There is a dark side.
Like making photoshopped landscape design renderings to convince clients, when in fact those street trees and shrubs will never attain any of the proposed qualities?
Oh, oops. Forget I said that.
Not only that, but so subtle and skilled is the average real estate use of the clone tool that a client will NEVER detect it.
Assuming they were buying houses sight unseen. Which is what I think most of us do.
The photoshopped one is like an entirely different shattered-head baby doll. As if one wasn’t all we need.
Make that head into a Pshop stamp tool and it can go with you everywhere!
You can hardly notice the damage.
“Gently loved” vintage condition.
“Lenny-loved” would be my take.
“Her eye(s) are realistic”
Lord save me :S
“So realistic, in fact, that they really emotionally convey the absolute horror inflicted on her. What fun.”
Just the thing for Lil’ MD’s “Coma Patient Organ Bank”!
Don’t be a dummy. Assist your sitting dolls.
I wonder if there was a prize inside.
Coupon for 2 hrs of free anger management counseling?
Athena’s heard that one before, she Zeus’d to it.
Well, I won’t Apollo-gise for it.
I Hera ya.
Hey, what’s your sign, Zippy? Is it Ares?
Nope. It’s the Feb-March one, as in “Pie sees, pie eats.”
No lie about the pie. Even Matt’s windowsill pie.
Someday you will Achilles like I Achilles.
Is your sign “Tore us” (up)?
I’m a taurus. No bull.
Who me? I’m a Gemini. And so am I.
How about Melagrana? She started it.
Started it? You started it! I just punned on Ares/Aries.
Sorry. Just sensitive. I’m a Scorpio and my birthday’s coming up in a couple weeks.
I thought you were coming on to me with the whole “What’s your sign?” thing! I’m fishy like that.
Well, as you can see, there are many sides to me.
But my comments are not as acute as you triangles’ are.
No, YOU’RE a cute! I think if Helen were still moderating, she would have told us to get a room. *sniff*
GET A ROOM!
(I know, it’s just not the same)
Perhaps someone else can suggest it?
It IS almost my birthday, after all.
Matt! Always one step ahead of me.
It’s probably because I’m in the Eastern time zone.
Were you a “Hallow wean”, Melagrana? I’m asking in Scottish accent.
Mom held off till the next morning!
“Possibly Human” hair! I’d buy it just for the gamble!
My pinecones, brambles n’ tree sap “girlfriend” is so close to completion! This would make her REAL!
Oh Matt, now you know that only LOVE will make her real.
But some human hair would really help things along.
Oh, don’t worry. The love will be there.
I just kinda creeped myself out there a little bit.
Even the pinecones are scared right now.
That’s not sap, it’s tears.
It’s true. But they don’t want you to hold them right now.
I’ve just had an underbrush with death!
It resinates with all of us, Zip, but don’t bramble on about it.
I must ponderosa this fir a bit.
Firries. All of ya’s.
I prefer the larch.
Ahh, Birchish humo(u)r.
I tried to join the John Birch Society because I like trees, and boy was I in for a surprise!
Sometimes life’s a birch, other times a beech, and still other times a botch. Whaddya gonna do?
I do wonder where the brambles go.
We all do.
I picture you singing softly, gently brushing out the snarls in her brambles, and then I get scared of myself and just want to order shoes on line like all the other girls.
On a side note- I’m almost done writing a piece on my views concerning government (a “manifesto”, if you will)- will you read it? I’ll mail it to you.
Um, I don’t have a mailbox. Anymore.
I’ll bet you say that to all the guys.
Only an alarming majority of them.
Excellent please do.
My address is S. Klawsse, 1 North Poule Road, Canada H0H 0H0. Make sure the letter is well wrapped in tin foil.
I’m on the santa what you did there, like a bloodhound!
I sing “Love Me Tender”, but in Don Knotts’ voice. It’s sweet.
I was thinking “Eye of the Tiger” with harmonica.
No, I play that with the hairy bagpipe, or possibly the prickolo.
You can’t skimp on Eye of the Tiger.
Why do I feel weird now?
I give you credit for holding out this long! It got weird a long time ago!
Well, I was multi-tasking. In hindsight, I see what you mean. We’re miles away from that doll’s head up at the top of the page.
And thank God for that!
I’m sure an accomplished pianist could shoot out Eye of the Tiger.
It could be the hairy bagpipe. Or the prickolo.
Do you need to wear a kilt to play the hairy bagpipe?
Clothing is banned while playing the hairy bagpipe. It stifles the air flow.
Nae talk aboot kilts. That’s a wee bit too personal. Everyone knows ya dinna weer ought under yer kilt.
Nuthin’s worn under tha kilt! Everything’s in perfect workin’ order!
According to Led Zepplin they’re gonna bramble on, sing their song. And something about Gollum.
That song has been in my head since Matt’s intial post! But I only know the bramble part, so it’s just that, over and over.
Just like Steve Martin, you’re a “Bramblin’, bramblin’, bramblin’, bramblin’ *deep breath* GUUUUUUUUUUUUUY! (Only, you know, female.)
‘Cept I don’t iron kittens.
… I always thought the lyrics were ‘Ramble On’
Am I insane? Have I been singing it wrong my entire life?
This is a comedy site, Tursiart. There may be a few jokes amongst all the serious talk.
Right. I still don’t see the joke. (Yeah, I get it. Misheard song lyrics. Mondegreens.) I still don’t see the post where it started though… *scratches head*
I said something about my pinecone n’ brambles girlfriend, and the “brambles” part started melagrana singing “Bramble On” in her head.
Pssst, Matt. Maybe we’re not really very funny?
No, we are. Sometimes.
Funny LIKE A CLOWN???
Comment 12, second down.
Oh, what a tangled web (of brambles etc.) we weave!
When we practice to de-leave.
And, just to warn you in advance, it’s “‘scuse me while I kiss the sky”, not “‘scuse me while I kiss this guy”.
I made that mistake before, and it cost me dearly.
Also, it’s “love hurts” and not “Laaahh-verne”
And Creedence does not sing about a “bathroom on the right.”
My friend in high school had another kid convinced that CCR stood for “Clarence Clearview Recital”. I always liked that.
And ‘the chair’ isn’t what is not Michael Jackson’s son. (A ‘Blanket” is his son, but oddly that doesn’t come up in the song.)
That fact, added to the “Germany” in the title has me so squicked out right now.
Comes with her own theme song: Hole/Courtney Love’s “Doll Parts” as reinterpreted by Smash Mouth.
Now that’s a head-banger!
Actually, this was caused by an accident or neglect. This was a purposeful artistic statement by Salvador Dolly.
It’s Dali Dolly!
Yes, it might be human – “Schutzmarke Germany” (two words, not three) is the trademark found on old dolls of the German “Schildkröt” brand (think 1900), and if this were listed with an anywhere near Google-able description, some doll clinic might actually be interested in the parts. But given that the seller hasn’t bothered to accurately copy, leave alone research the imprint on the doll, it’s very improbable that any doll doctor will find this listing. Unless, of course, doll doctors read Regretsy.
This was supposed to be in response to #12 – more beer seems to be in order.
… and it’s really spelled “Schutz-Marke” on the doll, which is several German spelling reforms ago, making this a real antiquity. Yes, some doll clinic might definitely want this. While I will go boost my brain with more beer to prepare for zombie attack.
Can you put out an “Amber Alert” on dolls?
Do you want this printed on the back of your milk carton?
They just put out a “Bramble Alert” over in your neck of the woods, Matt.
The joke’s on them, though. My tar-paper shack in the woods doesn’t come up on google earth. I covered it in tinfoil.
I only walk around outside in a mirrored box. Take that, street view!
I decided to retreat to the woods when the government wouldn’t let me claim my pinecone n’ brambles girlfriend as a dependent at tax time. Don’t they realize that she costs me a small fortune in brambles?
In bandaids too, right?
“Curses, foliaged again!”
- the IRS
Only for half the year in a deciduous forest.
Sorry. The real me just came out there for a moment.
Put her away, please.
I try, believe me. It’s like having a second job.
Am I correct in assuming you have a very weathered copy of “Walden” in your possession?
No, I just live in a mailbox in the forest.
Mom? Stop stalking me!
Neither tin foil nor mirrored boxes reflect well on either of you. Unlike today’s comments.
I don’t know whether to take comfort in the smashed skull or allowing my mind to integrate it into the horrifying nightmares that’s currently brewing in my brain.
Mommy did say no more wire hangers, ever…
Can’t sleep. Doll will eat me.
She’s keeping an eye on you as it is
Are we sure she isn’t an extra from the Walking Dead?
That lady who ‘restores’ frescoes sure does get around.
Whew! Now I can get on with my life, free of fear! Thanks again, LB!
Don’t mind me, I’ll be in the corner. Sobbing in horror.
I’m reminded of the burning doll scene from Charlie and the Chocolate factory.
Other people did see that part, right? I didn’t imagine it?
Not sure – I only remember the Oompa-Loompas and the river of chocolate. Oh, and the giant floating bubbles. How did I forget a burning doll?
I think at one point there is melting eyeball. It’s the new version I’m thinking of, not the old one. That’s… actually I’m torn as to which is more creepy. One has the added weight of treasured childhood memories tainted by adulthood, the other I was just kinda baked.
I’m reminded of the burning doll scene from Reform School Girls, but I sometimes think I’m the only one who saw that quite underrated flick.
Dr Google to the rescue!
The only thing about this that makes me at all happy is that I never saw it as a child. I was no huge fan of dolls anyway (they creeped me out) but if I had sen this i would have woken up gibbering in terror most nights.
Thank you for posting this–LB’s image above brought it to mind.
I wanted to post one without the mask, but this thread has enough Nightmare Fuel as it is.
This day keeps getting better and better, I hope it never ends! Because then the night will come. The long, dark, night with what dreams may come.
I’m gonna have to put my crawlspace-trailer up on monster-truck tires to keep the demons away. Can Freddy Krueger climb ladders? It seems to me that his skin condition would inhibit his climbing abilities…
Suddenly I don’t like the idea of sleeping with the window open anymore.
How long can humans go without sleep? Ima go out and buy some more coffee.
I wonder if Felix is done with his balloon and capsule. 23 miles up seems just about right.
I managed three days, but by the end of it I couldn’t stop hallucinating that I was covered in bugs.
Really? Yikes. I think that might be worse than the doll…
Oh man, I just thought of the doll covered in bugs. I am so in trouble tonight!
Eventually you just have to throw something away. Not just anyone can sell trash like a bank.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Excuse me for not reading all the posts. Someone may have pointed this out: I’m not a dollmaker, but isn’t it pretty cheap to buy doll parts? Like, cheaper than 20.00? Isn’t a ready made doll about 20.00?
Because VINTAGE! Because ANTIQUE! Because SCHUTZ!!!!!
Yeah, I don’t know why, either.
It’s hard to find authentic antique and/or vintage doll parts. Many doll restorers actually re-make parts themselves. We had 3 dolls from my great-grandma that were badly stored, and the dollmaker who fixed them hand-carved the arms and legs on two from pictures in a book to make it as authentic as possible, and cheaper, surprisingly, than finding the parts from other dolls.
“The eyes don’t blink.” ?? FUCK THAT I was sold until they told me the eyes don’t blink.
They don’t blink. They just STARE INTO YOUR SOUL.
If I had a spare $20 right now, she’d be coming to my house to be decapitated and recapitated with something a little less … smashed.
She’s dead, Jim.
Wow, thanks for all the views! Yeah, she is creepy, I agree.
By the way, Etsy doesn’t allow hyphens in their titles, so I couldn’t spell it correctly. No photoshopping either–her face shifted every time she was moved.
Oh, and she sold a few days ago, so thanks for that too.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The term "Etsy" is a trademark of Etsy, Inc. This site is not affiliated with Etsy, Inc.