I am inspired to start a catering company: Vomitable Edibles. Normal foods disguised as or decorated with totally disgusting things. Think of it! Mashed potatoes oozing pus! Meatloaf that spurts blood! It’ll be a blast. I’ll go out of business in a heartbeat!
I never mind such things. I eat dinner while watching disgusting things. Maybe it’s just that it’s std’s, IDK. All I do know is that Vagrarian just pushed me over the end of the abyss and Pizza Hut is about to get a refund!
And if you want disgusting, you should hear my boss and I having lunchtime conversation. People have been known to flee the lunchroom, heaving, while he and I munch on sandwiches and discuss colonoscopies and abscessed teeth and other delightful things.
Well, they’re both things I’ve experienced in the last year. Had a colonoscopy in April, just had an abscessed tooth a couple weeks ago. One root canal later, I’m doing well.
I remember my root canal… Well, i remember going in for it. The rest is a bit of a medically induced haze. They’ll give you the good shit during root canals, it was almost as good as my Adderall med trial.
Actually, you should check out “The Decadent Cookbook” by Medlar Lucan and Durian Gray. Not lavish chocolate desserts, but some really bizarre and revolting things, like Panda Paw Casserole and a pastry called The Chancellor’s Buttocks. There’s a chapter on recipes incorporating blood, and another on decaying and rotting foods. Only a few recipes on the whole book are workable; the rest are queasy curiosities. I have another recipe for a “Pork Cake” which is a sort of fruitcake made with a pound of pork meat in addition the usual ingredients…
Planned Parenthood has fund-raising (and awareness-raising parties around here. Since they are WAY MORE about safe sex and birth control than the ‘other thing’ that certain people don’t like, they might do it. But also, quite possibly, not?
I read about this. Apparently “Eat Your Heart Out” (where these cupcakes are from) are sold in a shop at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital Pathology Museum (in London) for Halloween coupled with a series of lectures about the STDs these represent. They also have things like toenail fungus cookies.
I run a cupcake business out of my home, I always tell people I have no limits on what I will do for them as far as flavors and decorations go when it comes to cupcakes (bacon cupcakes are quite popular). I’ve apparently been lying about those limitations because I officially just found them.
I thought these looked more like the surfaces of Pumpkins than STDs. I mean, like how pumpkins with warts and pumpkins with parasites. The upper right one just looks like a pumpkin top with a stem…
Is that nasty-ass fondant or decorator icing on top, or is it real frosting? Because if it’s frosting, I’d eat it. And take in to show my nursing peeps.
As a fellow fondant’loather I’d watch out for the organge one. The others I’d guess a glaze and the one in the back seems to be “infected” with walnuts.
We’re talking about the one on the upper right of the picture, right? That’s a penis, not a vagina, so her comment about having to rethink being a lesbian doesn’t make sense. Whatever.
If you have a weak stomach don’t click on the cocktail section of their blog, with drinks like urine and stool samples and one that replicates the contents of a suicide victim’s stomach.
When something looks that bad no amount of alcohol can make it good.
Okay, I will give someone’s firstborn child (don’t look at me like that: I don’t have any kids to offer up one of my own) to see someone proudly serve these to a panel of esteemed food critics on Top Chef. Mainly because I want to hear Tom Colicchio say “I thought the genital discharge was really bland.”
Madonna dedicated her recent on-stage striptease to Malala, to bring attention to her plight.
By comparison these cupcakes are almost appealing in their modest sincerity.
The Taliban need to have these served at their next meeting. With nothing else. And those cupcakes should be full of what they look like they’re full of.
Is it bad that my first thought was “wow, that’s some good craftsmanship – it really does look like genital discharge!” before the nausea and horror set in? I think I’ve been on the Internet too long…
October 15, 2012 at 4:34 pm
This is the one time glazing won’t make cupcakes better.
October 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm
description calls them bad taste as if that is a good thing?
October 15, 2012 at 4:42 pm
At first I thought this was going to be one of those “Oops, these Fairy Farts accidentally look like STDs.”
October 15, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Now we really know what goes on at Cupcake Central.
October 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm
Are you sure this isn’t a poster on the wall of the Etsy company doctor?
October 15, 2012 at 4:36 pm
This is so gross I can’t even handle it.
October 15, 2012 at 5:36 pm
If I went to someone’s house and they served these I would probably have to leave. Some things should just not be food.
October 16, 2012 at 4:52 am
I’m looking forward to anything else–ANYTHING–posted in place of this.
October 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm
Please don’t “handle” anything that’s in that photo. ew.
October 15, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 15, 2012 at 4:48 pm
No, that was me.
October 15, 2012 at 4:52 pm
No, that was the amuse bush.
October 15, 2012 at 5:03 pm
It was berry gross.
October 15, 2012 at 10:10 pm
I mean the bush was berry gross. Like, upchuck berry gross?
October 16, 2012 at 9:08 am
Our bush is not amused.
October 15, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I’m surprised there isn’t a vagina shaped one. Surely there’s a market for vaginal discharge cupcakes…
October 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm
This is one time a jam or cream-filled center will make cupcakes infinitely worse.
October 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm
I am inspired to start a catering company: Vomitable Edibles. Normal foods disguised as or decorated with totally disgusting things. Think of it! Mashed potatoes oozing pus! Meatloaf that spurts blood! It’ll be a blast. I’ll go out of business in a heartbeat!
October 15, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Or become a BAZILLIONAIRE!!!!!
October 15, 2012 at 5:39 pm
You could make a fortune doing catering for anorexics who dont want to eat anyways. Gives them a good reason. Or buffets for weight watchers.
October 15, 2012 at 5:56 pm
I never mind such things. I eat dinner while watching disgusting things. Maybe it’s just that it’s std’s, IDK. All I do know is that Vagrarian just pushed me over the end of the abyss and Pizza Hut is about to get a refund!
October 15, 2012 at 6:22 pm
If you hurl into a pizza box after eating the pizza, will it look that much different? OK, no crust but still.
October 16, 2012 at 7:46 pm
Pepperoni can really mess up the inside of one’s nostrills.
October 15, 2012 at 7:43 pm
Oh gawd, I’m laughing so hard at that…
And if you want disgusting, you should hear my boss and I having lunchtime conversation. People have been known to flee the lunchroom, heaving, while he and I munch on sandwiches and discuss colonoscopies and abscessed teeth and other delightful things.
October 15, 2012 at 11:43 pm
Are the colonoscopies and the abscessed teeth part of the same medical procedure? Enquiring (and disturbed) minds want to know.
October 16, 2012 at 6:45 am
Well, they’re both things I’ve experienced in the last year. Had a colonoscopy in April, just had an abscessed tooth a couple weeks ago. One root canal later, I’m doing well.
October 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm
I remember my root canal… Well, i remember going in for it. The rest is a bit of a medically induced haze. They’ll give you the good shit during root canals, it was almost as good as my Adderall med trial.
October 16, 2012 at 7:49 pm
I can’t seem to recall anything about my two colonoscopies. That sneaky assed doctor!
October 16, 2012 at 7:20 am
I’ve heard of vagina dentata, but this is a new one for me as well.
October 15, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Sounds like the best tax-writeoff idea ever.
October 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm
It’s The Producers, only with food! Please be the Mel Brooks, Zero Mostel, Gene Wilder version.
October 15, 2012 at 10:30 pm
Not at all, you just need to market to 7-12 year-old boys. They’d love this; think Harry Potter and the the vomit, etc. flavored candies.
October 16, 2012 at 9:40 am
Roald Dahl might want to be your (very) silent partner:
http://www.amazon.com/Roald-Dahls-Revolting-Recipes-Dahl/dp/0140378200
Looks like the books need an update.
October 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm
Actually, you should check out “The Decadent Cookbook” by Medlar Lucan and Durian Gray. Not lavish chocolate desserts, but some really bizarre and revolting things, like Panda Paw Casserole and a pastry called The Chancellor’s Buttocks. There’s a chapter on recipes incorporating blood, and another on decaying and rotting foods. Only a few recipes on the whole book are workable; the rest are queasy curiosities. I have another recipe for a “Pork Cake” which is a sort of fruitcake made with a pound of pork meat in addition the usual ingredients…
October 15, 2012 at 4:49 pm
I picture overprotective parents serving this to their teenage children as a warning.
October 15, 2012 at 4:59 pm
I picture a sleazy boyfriend sending this to a girlfriend along with a note to go get checked out!
October 15, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Ugh. Eat one of these and it’ll go straight to your groin.
October 15, 2012 at 6:05 pm
“Groins lie even less often than hips.”
- Shakira
October 15, 2012 at 8:29 pm
“She said she wasn’t contagious.”
-My boyfriend’s groin the moment before he became my ex, while thankfully still clothed.
October 15, 2012 at 9:55 pm
A pants tent is *not* the groin.
October 16, 2012 at 8:57 am
He was at least shamed enough to not pitch a tent right then.
October 16, 2012 at 9:10 am
I would hope his groin had the decency to hang its head in shame.
October 15, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Who do you have to sleep with to get barnacles on your dick? Ursula the sea witch?
October 15, 2012 at 8:31 pm
“Open the door, you pox-ridden whore!”
-Barnacle Bill the Sailor
October 15, 2012 at 9:10 pm
You don’t have to sleep (or have sex) with anyone; just dangle your dongle off the dock for a long, long time.
If you bait it, they will come.
October 15, 2012 at 9:56 pm
If you ‘bate it, on the other hand…
October 16, 2012 at 6:50 am
They will still come
October 16, 2012 at 8:58 am
Who doesn’t like a rebate?
October 15, 2012 at 4:51 pm
I’m kinda disappointed that there isn’t a crabcake.
October 15, 2012 at 4:51 pm
OK contestants, your theme for this round of Cupcake Wars is…..
October 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm
October 15, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Don’t worry, Clint. You can’t get those diseases from a chair.
October 15, 2012 at 4:57 pm
God help you if you have your junk in one hand and a cupcake in the other and are making a medical diagnosis.
October 15, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Having the internet in the other hand might be worse.
October 15, 2012 at 4:58 pm
I was trying to imagine the party at which these would be served, but I can’t!
October 15, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Planned Parenthood has fund-raising (and awareness-raising parties around here. Since they are WAY MORE about safe sex and birth control than the ‘other thing’ that certain people don’t like, they might do it. But also, quite possibly, not?
October 15, 2012 at 5:28 pm
*(and awareness-raising)<- see what I didn't do there last time? Stupid syphilis.
October 15, 2012 at 10:35 pm
No, no. Didn’t you read? You don’t serve them, you “curate” and “showcase” them. Gaaah, I think the description is almost worse than the product.
October 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm
I read about this. Apparently “Eat Your Heart Out” (where these cupcakes are from) are sold in a shop at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital Pathology Museum (in London) for Halloween coupled with a series of lectures about the STDs these represent. They also have things like toenail fungus cookies.
October 15, 2012 at 5:29 pm
I bet those are jam-filled.
October 15, 2012 at 10:20 pm
They recently hosted some pathology lectures in coordination with the Wesker and Son shop.
October 15, 2012 at 5:17 pm
I run a cupcake business out of my home, I always tell people I have no limits on what I will do for them as far as flavors and decorations go when it comes to cupcakes (bacon cupcakes are quite popular). I’ve apparently been lying about those limitations because I officially just found them.
October 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm
I never thought the day would come when there would be cupcakes I didn’t want to eat.
October 15, 2012 at 5:22 pm
these new diet fads are really getting extreme.
October 15, 2012 at 5:44 pm
These would work for me. Eww.
October 15, 2012 at 5:36 pm
October 18, 2012 at 12:33 pm
WAITwaitwaitwaitwait.
Forget the cupcakes — WTF IS THAT THING?!?
Is it real? Are there a lot of them? Where do they live?
Please keep in mind when composing your reply that your answer will determine whether I ever, ever go barefoot on the sand again….
October 15, 2012 at 5:40 pm
As long as they are labeled, showing what kind of STD each one represents, I’ll eat them. Gotta know what I’m getting myself into, you know?
October 15, 2012 at 5:46 pm
Seeing this just kind of ruined my life a little.
October 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm
If they were chocolate cupcakes I’d still eat ‘em.
October 15, 2012 at 9:44 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 15, 2012 at 10:41 pm
Remind me, what’s the best frosting choice for chocolate, chlamydia or wart?
October 15, 2012 at 6:35 pm
I thought these looked more like the surfaces of Pumpkins than STDs. I mean, like how pumpkins with warts and pumpkins with parasites. The upper right one just looks like a pumpkin top with a stem…
October 15, 2012 at 7:22 pm
I thought that too for a moment.
Then the Regretsy hit.
October 15, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Is that nasty-ass fondant or decorator icing on top, or is it real frosting? Because if it’s frosting, I’d eat it. And take in to show my nursing peeps.
October 15, 2012 at 10:48 pm
As a fellow fondant’loather I’d watch out for the organge one. The others I’d guess a glaze and the one in the back seems to be “infected” with walnuts.
October 15, 2012 at 7:03 pm
Ron Jeremy would eat these.
October 15, 2012 at 7:19 pm
Whoa, I might have to rethink this whole being a lesbian thing.
October 15, 2012 at 7:36 pm
That’s the head of a dick.
October 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm
We’re talking about the one on the upper right of the picture, right? That’s a penis, not a vagina, so her comment about having to rethink being a lesbian doesn’t make sense. Whatever.
October 16, 2012 at 4:18 pm
I might have to rethink this whole cupcake thing.
October 15, 2012 at 7:22 pm
If you have a weak stomach don’t click on the cocktail section of their blog, with drinks like urine and stool samples and one that replicates the contents of a suicide victim’s stomach.
When something looks that bad no amount of alcohol can make it good.
http://evilcakes.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/eat-your-heart-out-anatomical-cocktails/
October 15, 2012 at 10:46 pm
Good grief, all the stuff floating around in those; I don’t even like pulp in my OJ.
October 15, 2012 at 7:44 pm
The Wages of Sin-abon.
October 15, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Okay, I will give someone’s firstborn child (don’t look at me like that: I don’t have any kids to offer up one of my own) to see someone proudly serve these to a panel of esteemed food critics on Top Chef. Mainly because I want to hear Tom Colicchio say “I thought the genital discharge was really bland.”
October 15, 2012 at 8:44 pm
Madonna dedicated her recent on-stage striptease to Malala, to bring attention to her plight.
By comparison these cupcakes are almost appealing in their modest sincerity.
October 15, 2012 at 10:18 pm
The Taliban need to have these served at their next meeting. With nothing else. And those cupcakes should be full of what they look like they’re full of.
October 15, 2012 at 9:14 pm
I would eat these at a party if shots were served afterward.
October 16, 2012 at 1:03 pm
There would have to be shots beforehand for me to even consider eating those.
October 15, 2012 at 9:19 pm
Looking at these cupcakes has got me reaching for the Valtrex and I’m not certain I even HAVE herpes…
October 15, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Inflammation of the foreskin…reminds me of your smile…
October 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm
…I’ve had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while….
October 15, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Is it bad that my first thought was “wow, that’s some good craftsmanship – it really does look like genital discharge!” before the nausea and horror set in? I think I’ve been on the Internet too long…
October 16, 2012 at 5:29 am
I apologize if someone already suggested this, but I would love to “view it in a room” that was actually a table at a church bake sale.
October 16, 2012 at 7:32 am
Even with a sturdy gag reflex, but these would be pretty hard to swallow.
October 16, 2012 at 8:24 am
When the local public health department informed her that she needs to contact previous partners, Martha decided to do it her way.
October 16, 2012 at 9:19 am
“Hi Bob,I’m sending you a ‘Scare Package’. Enjoy dessert and get tested. Say hi to your wife!”
October 16, 2012 at 11:39 am
Barf. DX
October 16, 2012 at 2:53 pm
I doubt it’s the sugar that makes me feel sick right now…
October 16, 2012 at 3:09 pm