This is the one time glazing won’t make cupcakes better.
description calls them bad taste as if that is a good thing?
At first I thought this was going to be one of those “Oops, these Fairy Farts accidentally look like STDs.”
Now we really know what goes on at Cupcake Central.
Are you sure this isn’t a poster on the wall of the Etsy company doctor?
This is so gross I can’t even handle it.
If I went to someone’s house and they served these I would probably have to leave. Some things should just not be food.
I’m looking forward to anything else–ANYTHING–posted in place of this.
Please don’t “handle” anything that’s in that photo. ew.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
I think I just vomited in my mouth.
No, that was me.
No, that was the amuse bush.
It was berry gross.
I mean the bush was berry gross. Like, upchuck berry gross?
Our bush is not amused.
I’m surprised there isn’t a vagina shaped one. Surely there’s a market for vaginal discharge cupcakes…
This is one time a jam or cream-filled center will make cupcakes infinitely worse.
I am inspired to start a catering company: Vomitable Edibles. Normal foods disguised as or decorated with totally disgusting things. Think of it! Mashed potatoes oozing pus! Meatloaf that spurts blood! It’ll be a blast. I’ll go out of business in a heartbeat!
Or become a BAZILLIONAIRE!!!!!
You could make a fortune doing catering for anorexics who dont want to eat anyways. Gives them a good reason. Or buffets for weight watchers.
I never mind such things. I eat dinner while watching disgusting things. Maybe it’s just that it’s std’s, IDK. All I do know is that Vagrarian just pushed me over the end of the abyss and Pizza Hut is about to get a refund!
If you hurl into a pizza box after eating the pizza, will it look that much different? OK, no crust but still.
Pepperoni can really mess up the inside of one’s nostrills.
Oh gawd, I’m laughing so hard at that…
And if you want disgusting, you should hear my boss and I having lunchtime conversation. People have been known to flee the lunchroom, heaving, while he and I munch on sandwiches and discuss colonoscopies and abscessed teeth and other delightful things.
Are the colonoscopies and the abscessed teeth part of the same medical procedure? Enquiring (and disturbed) minds want to know.
Well, they’re both things I’ve experienced in the last year. Had a colonoscopy in April, just had an abscessed tooth a couple weeks ago. One root canal later, I’m doing well.
I remember my root canal… Well, i remember going in for it. The rest is a bit of a medically induced haze. They’ll give you the good shit during root canals, it was almost as good as my Adderall med trial.
I can’t seem to recall anything about my two colonoscopies. That sneaky assed doctor!
I’ve heard of vagina dentata, but this is a new one for me as well.
Sounds like the best tax-writeoff idea ever.
It’s The Producers, only with food! Please be the Mel Brooks, Zero Mostel, Gene Wilder version.
Not at all, you just need to market to 7-12 year-old boys. They’d love this; think Harry Potter and the the vomit, etc. flavored candies.
Roald Dahl might want to be your (very) silent partner:
Looks like the books need an update.
Actually, you should check out “The Decadent Cookbook” by Medlar Lucan and Durian Gray. Not lavish chocolate desserts, but some really bizarre and revolting things, like Panda Paw Casserole and a pastry called The Chancellor’s Buttocks. There’s a chapter on recipes incorporating blood, and another on decaying and rotting foods. Only a few recipes on the whole book are workable; the rest are queasy curiosities. I have another recipe for a “Pork Cake” which is a sort of fruitcake made with a pound of pork meat in addition the usual ingredients…
I picture overprotective parents serving this to their teenage children as a warning.
I picture a sleazy boyfriend sending this to a girlfriend along with a note to go get checked out!
Ugh. Eat one of these and it’ll go straight to your groin.
“Groins lie even less often than hips.”
“She said she wasn’t contagious.”
-My boyfriend’s groin the moment before he became my ex, while thankfully still clothed.
A pants tent is *not* the groin.
He was at least shamed enough to not pitch a tent right then.
I would hope his groin had the decency to hang its head in shame.
Who do you have to sleep with to get barnacles on your dick? Ursula the sea witch?
“Open the door, you pox-ridden whore!”
-Barnacle Bill the Sailor
You don’t have to sleep (or have sex) with anyone; just dangle your dongle off the dock for a long, long time.
If you bait it, they will come.
If you ‘bate it, on the other hand…
They will still come
Who doesn’t like a rebate?
I’m kinda disappointed that there isn’t a crabcake.
OK contestants, your theme for this round of Cupcake Wars is…..
Don’t worry, Clint. You can’t get those diseases from a chair.
God help you if you have your junk in one hand and a cupcake in the other and are making a medical diagnosis.
Having the internet in the other hand might be worse.
I was trying to imagine the party at which these would be served, but I can’t!
Planned Parenthood has fund-raising (and awareness-raising parties around here. Since they are WAY MORE about safe sex and birth control than the ‘other thing’ that certain people don’t like, they might do it. But also, quite possibly, not?
*(and awareness-raising)<- see what I didn't do there last time? Stupid syphilis.
No, no. Didn’t you read? You don’t serve them, you “curate” and “showcase” them. Gaaah, I think the description is almost worse than the product.
I read about this. Apparently “Eat Your Heart Out” (where these cupcakes are from) are sold in a shop at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital Pathology Museum (in London) for Halloween coupled with a series of lectures about the STDs these represent. They also have things like toenail fungus cookies.
I bet those are jam-filled.
They recently hosted some pathology lectures in coordination with the Wesker and Son shop.
I run a cupcake business out of my home, I always tell people I have no limits on what I will do for them as far as flavors and decorations go when it comes to cupcakes (bacon cupcakes are quite popular). I’ve apparently been lying about those limitations because I officially just found them.
I never thought the day would come when there would be cupcakes I didn’t want to eat.
these new diet fads are really getting extreme.
These would work for me. Eww.
Forget the cupcakes — WTF IS THAT THING?!?
Is it real? Are there a lot of them? Where do they live?
Please keep in mind when composing your reply that your answer will determine whether I ever, ever go barefoot on the sand again….
As long as they are labeled, showing what kind of STD each one represents, I’ll eat them. Gotta know what I’m getting myself into, you know?
Seeing this just kind of ruined my life a little.
If they were chocolate cupcakes I’d still eat ‘em.
Thumb me down, but wouldn’t chocolate cupcakes make a good canvas to show how the STDs look on black maximally pigmented skin?
Remind me, what’s the best frosting choice for chocolate, chlamydia or wart?
I thought these looked more like the surfaces of Pumpkins than STDs. I mean, like how pumpkins with warts and pumpkins with parasites. The upper right one just looks like a pumpkin top with a stem…
I thought that too for a moment.
Then the Regretsy hit.
Is that nasty-ass fondant or decorator icing on top, or is it real frosting? Because if it’s frosting, I’d eat it. And take in to show my nursing peeps.
As a fellow fondant’loather I’d watch out for the organge one. The others I’d guess a glaze and the one in the back seems to be “infected” with walnuts.
Ron Jeremy would eat these.
Whoa, I might have to rethink this whole being a lesbian thing.
That’s the head of a dick.
We’re talking about the one on the upper right of the picture, right? That’s a penis, not a vagina, so her comment about having to rethink being a lesbian doesn’t make sense. Whatever.
I might have to rethink this whole cupcake thing.
If you have a weak stomach don’t click on the cocktail section of their blog, with drinks like urine and stool samples and one that replicates the contents of a suicide victim’s stomach.
When something looks that bad no amount of alcohol can make it good.
Good grief, all the stuff floating around in those; I don’t even like pulp in my OJ.
The Wages of Sin-abon.
Okay, I will give someone’s firstborn child (don’t look at me like that: I don’t have any kids to offer up one of my own) to see someone proudly serve these to a panel of esteemed food critics on Top Chef. Mainly because I want to hear Tom Colicchio say “I thought the genital discharge was really bland.”
Madonna dedicated her recent on-stage striptease to Malala, to bring attention to her plight.
By comparison these cupcakes are almost appealing in their modest sincerity.
The Taliban need to have these served at their next meeting. With nothing else. And those cupcakes should be full of what they look like they’re full of.
I would eat these at a party if shots were served afterward.
There would have to be shots beforehand for me to even consider eating those.
Looking at these cupcakes has got me reaching for the Valtrex and I’m not certain I even HAVE herpes…
Inflammation of the foreskin…reminds me of your smile…
…I’ve had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while….
Is it bad that my first thought was “wow, that’s some good craftsmanship – it really does look like genital discharge!” before the nausea and horror set in? I think I’ve been on the Internet too long…
I apologize if someone already suggested this, but I would love to “view it in a room” that was actually a table at a church bake sale.
Even with a sturdy gag reflex, but these would be pretty hard to swallow.
When the local public health department informed her that she needs to contact previous partners, Martha decided to do it her way.
“Hi Bob,I’m sending you a ‘Scare Package’. Enjoy dessert and get tested. Say hi to your wife!”
I doubt it’s the sugar that makes me feel sick right now…
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The term "Etsy" is a trademark of Etsy, Inc. This site is not affiliated with Etsy, Inc.