118

Regretsy Math

118 comments on Regretsy Math

  1. rushgirl2112
    October 11, 2012 at 10:02 am

    If Mitt’s skin really were that color, I’m thinking things would be a WHOLE lot different.

    Thumb up Thumb down +112

  2. CzarofFuckery
    October 11, 2012 at 10:03 am

    And here, Mittens is trying to capture the coveted state of California by blending in with the locals.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  3. Tursiart
    October 11, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Who is the woman in that second pic? Yeesh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

    • AmyDelish
      October 11, 2012 at 10:06 am

      She’s that lovely Jersey mom who took her tot to the tanning salon!

      Thumb up Thumb down +25

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 10:39 am

        Isn’t her name Corine Thianleather?

        Thumb up Thumb down +64

    • Glasgow
      October 11, 2012 at 11:16 am

      Ya had to remind me of Tan Mom and Mittens in the same post. I am now going off to be sick in the corner.

      Thumb up Thumb down +20

  4. Vagrarian
    October 11, 2012 at 10:04 am

    I think that’s Mitt from that faux-tan Spanish news appearance he did. Que pasa, Mittens?

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

    • Zippy
      October 11, 2012 at 10:38 am

      The Presidential “Raza” just got mas interesante.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • Matt Johnson
      October 11, 2012 at 10:51 am

      He got all dolled up for a very special edition of “Sabado Gigante”. He was in a sketch on the show where he repeatedly bonked a Mexican version of Big Bird over the head, mistaking it for a pinata and/or government overspending.

      Thumb up Thumb down +32

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 11:10 am

        What did the busty girls in the tight dresses with ridiculous cleavage represent? Oh, right. Stimulus.

        Thumb up Thumb down +26

        • Matt Johnson
          October 11, 2012 at 11:15 am

          And the clowns on donkeys throwing tamales at them represented his insane running platform.

          Thumb up Thumb down +14

  5. pootsy collins
    October 11, 2012 at 10:06 am

    At first, I thought this was a really bad painting of Val Kilmer. What a bummer that it’s just a really bad painting of Mitt.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • OhHowMyBrainHurts
      October 11, 2012 at 11:04 am

      I saw Jerry Seinfeld in there at first. These things are the Regretsy equivalent of a Rorshach test!

      Thumb up Thumb down +24

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 11:11 am

        Tobacco patina’d Kramer? Tanning booth-burnt Kramer?

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • GranoblasticMan
      October 11, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      I know it’s an election cycle, so we try to politicize everything, but there’s no reason to say a picture of poorly-lit John Travolta is “Mitt Romney.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +22

  6. MitziBell
    October 11, 2012 at 10:07 am

    I think the painting only keeps the subject young and perfect looking if it starts off as a good likeness. Unless this is meant to keep some kind of carnival-barker alternative-reality Mitt Romney alive through [whatever his next 4-8 years hold for him], I don’t think it’s gonna work.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  7. finette
    October 11, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

    • cratz
      October 11, 2012 at 1:13 pm

      Hahaha, finette – Bobby Jindal was my first thought when I saw that! The horrible, horrible governor of my state, unfortunately. He’s even worse than Mittens.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • finette
        October 11, 2012 at 3:21 pm

        Mine too. :( The only possible benefit to Mitt winning was the possibility that he would take Bobby away as VP. But apparently they want him more for Secretary of Education anyway. (Seriously!!!!!)

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

      • jcapua
        October 12, 2012 at 4:02 am

        haha-yeah lucky me-Mittens WAS gov in my state-dark times I tell you-but the one good thing he did was the health care stuff-too bad he’s backpedaling on that now

        Thumb up Thumb down +3

  8. stoermy
    October 11, 2012 at 10:13 am

    I thought it was a clown.

    Oh wait…

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

    • FuzzyHeroics
      October 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

      Yeah it gives off that black velvet sad clown painting vibe so well.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  9. TheOldSpermBank
    October 11, 2012 at 10:15 am

    The first thing I thought of was Ross on “Friends” when he bleached his teeth too long.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  10. Matt Johnson
    October 11, 2012 at 10:16 am

    “Certificate of authenticity included with purchase.”

    What would be the element of this piece that needs to be authenticated?

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

    • maclare
      October 11, 2012 at 10:24 am

      They still have the receipt that proves the frame came from the DollarTree.

      Thumb up Thumb down +72

    • rushgirl2112
      October 11, 2012 at 10:41 am

      I think Mitt himself needs to come with a certificate of authenticity.

      Thumb up Thumb down +40

      • Matt Johnson
        October 11, 2012 at 10:43 am

        I think most printers would reject such a document.

        Thumb up Thumb down +19

      • angelbuttons77
        October 11, 2012 at 11:57 am

        No one would be willing to stake their reputation certifying anything about him.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

      • BrooklynK
        October 11, 2012 at 12:08 pm

        I think you’d have to travel to the factory in China where he was assembled.

        Thumb up Thumb down +25

        • Zippy
          October 11, 2012 at 12:33 pm

          And that factory would be – Foxconn??? Too eerie!

          Thumb up Thumb down +10

          • Badger
            October 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm

            Actually, my sons and I have had the theory that he’s a fairly well-made AI. The problem is that whoever put him together forgot to include the empathy and logic modules.

            Thumb up Thumb down +28

      • Hurricane
        October 12, 2012 at 10:53 am

        Like say, a birth certificate?

        Thumb up Thumb down 0

  11. Matt Johnson
    October 11, 2012 at 10:22 am

    It really is a spot-on regretsy math here. Kudos to that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  12. Wednesday
    October 11, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Looks more like Will Ferrell channeling Emmett Kelly Jr. to me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • Plembot
      October 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

      I saw a zombie Will Farrel in a real estate agent photo.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

  13. Zippy
    October 11, 2012 at 10:34 am

    Been a while, person in charge of adjusting OJ Simpson for the cover of TIME magazine. Hue prankster, hue.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

    • Matt Johnson
      October 11, 2012 at 10:42 am

      So they decided to give him one more shot?

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 11:28 am

        And said; “Tone it down a notch this time.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

  14. FuzzyHeroics
    October 11, 2012 at 10:40 am

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • BrooklynK
      October 11, 2012 at 12:09 pm

      Eddie Munster is sad.

      Thumb up Thumb down +34

      • Matt Johnson
        October 11, 2012 at 12:51 pm

        Paul Ryan’s got the smallest forehead ever. It’s like a three-head. It almost can’t fit the sad wrinkles.

        Thumb up Thumb down +24

        • architeuthis
          October 12, 2012 at 10:00 am

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -3

          • Hurricane
            October 12, 2012 at 10:54 am

            Kinda bloodshot. Prettyboy needs to lay off the poppers.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

  15. thecreightonberyl
    October 11, 2012 at 10:43 am

    ¡Hola, Muchachos!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  16. thecreightonberyl
    October 11, 2012 at 10:44 am

    “¡Hola, Muchachos!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Zippy
      October 11, 2012 at 11:31 am

      I liked it better when you said ““¡Hola, Muchachos!”” more than the time you said “¡Hola, Muchachos!” because it was more punc.

      Thumb up Thumb down +31

      • thecreightonberyl
        October 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm

        I Stuttered. REALLY hectic early morning today.

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

  17. Matt Johnson
    October 11, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Maybe this painting was commissioned by the Romney campaign to help boost his terrible image abroad. I could totally picture this on the side of a building in Bhopal, India.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • Matt Johnson
      October 11, 2012 at 11:19 am

      Too soon for a Union Carbide disaster reference?

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 11:40 am

        Only if some jackass says “That was a gas.”

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Matt Johnson
          October 11, 2012 at 11:43 am

          Luckily no one will say that though, right?

          Thumb up Thumb down +5

          • Zippy
            October 11, 2012 at 11:49 am

            Can’t chat now, being annihilated by Shiva the Destroyer. I have to say I had it coming.

            Thumb up Thumb down +15

            • Matt Johnson
              October 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

              Amazing how quick all those fists can punch you in succession, isn’t it?

              Thumb up Thumb down +9

  18. maclare
    October 11, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Maybe this lady has moved on to other subjects:

    http://www.regretsy.com/2012/08/21/regretsy-math-50/

    Gotta say, her technique has improved!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • maclare
      October 11, 2012 at 10:54 am

      Also, why did they put 5 pics up of the same exact view?

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

  19. onestopannijaksun
    October 11, 2012 at 10:52 am

    If any of you mom’s-basement-livin’ no-talent-havin’ into-your-cheetos-cryin’ losers buys this before my paycheck comes in I will slaughter something.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

    • Zippy
      October 11, 2012 at 11:17 am

      I’m just gonna say I sob off to the side of my cheetos so they don’t get soggy! So – YOU DON’T KNOW ME!

      Thumb up Thumb down +23

      • Matt Johnson
        October 11, 2012 at 11:22 am

        And it’s no basement! It’s more of a crawlspace! SO THERE!!

        Thumb up Thumb down +23

        • Zippy
          October 11, 2012 at 11:43 am

          And it’s my stepmom’s house. OK, the woman my “dad” is currently taking advantage of. NOW WHAT?

          Thumb up Thumb down +17

          • Matt Johnson
            October 11, 2012 at 11:46 am

            And I have talent! I can burp most of the Spongebob Squarepants theme if I’ve had enough Mountain Dew!

            Thumb up Thumb down +9

            • Zippy
              October 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

              And it’s actually knock-off brands, not the real stuff. “Butte Sweat” soda and “Agent Orange Crunch”. I’ll show you all, someday!

              Thumb up Thumb down +9

              • Matt Johnson
                October 11, 2012 at 11:58 am

                Well, I won’t really show you all in person, because I have no license or car and my Mom has to drive me everywhere, but I may be able to show you all with sock puppets or something!

                Thumb up Thumb down +12

                • Mugsy Doodle
                  October 11, 2012 at 12:20 pm

                  And when you say you’ll show us with sock puppets, please put the sock puppets on your hands, ok? We don’t want a repeat of the Dollar Store parking lot incident, do we?

                  Thumb up Thumb down +19

                  • Matt Johnson
                    October 11, 2012 at 12:26 pm

                    But our video of it got like 150,000 views on youtube! You don’t want to do our Dirty Punch n’ Judy routine anymore?

                    Thumb up Thumb down +9

                    • Zippy
                      October 11, 2012 at 12:39 pm

                      Everyone laughed when Judy hit Punch at the base of his club and the club shrank. Then things got awkward. Good thing the house is more than 1000 feet from Dollar Store.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +10

                    • Matt Johnson
                      October 11, 2012 at 12:45 pm

                      They extended the “shame radius”? I thought the restraining order said it was 500ft!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +11

                    • Zippy
                      October 11, 2012 at 12:56 pm

                      D’oh! I confused that with “shame diameter”! No more pi for me.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +10

                    • Matt Johnson
                      October 11, 2012 at 12:59 pm

                      Doesn’t matter. I never took the wheels off my trailer, so I can roll when the Sheriff comes a callin’.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +10

                    • Zippy
                      October 11, 2012 at 1:30 pm

                      Your trailer has a crawlspace?

                      Thumb up Thumb down +9

                    • Matt Johnson
                      October 11, 2012 at 1:36 pm

                      It IS a crawlspace. On wheels. The whole thing’s like 3 feet tall. I mostly crawl around inside it.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +16

  20. Angel Laveaux
    October 11, 2012 at 10:53 am

    There’s something so canned about this expression.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • SiliconeSunflower
      October 11, 2012 at 1:11 pm

      “Yes we can” or “yes we can”?

      Thumb up Thumb down -2

  21. abyssgazer
    October 11, 2012 at 10:58 am

    Sooo, I guess Romney’s going to join Tan Mom’s Olde Time Minstrel Show. Wait ’til he whips out his banjo!

    Oh. And Tan Mom whips out her bajingo.

    I’ll leave quietly…

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  22. AGypsyDreaming
    October 11, 2012 at 11:13 am

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

    • AGypsyDreaming
      October 11, 2012 at 11:13 am

      It immediately reminded me of Emmett Kelly when I saw it. A zombified Emmett Kelly, that is.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 11:20 am

        If Emmett Kelly had unlimited money, a carefree life, a yacht to get tan on and an utter disregard for for anyone less fortunate than he is. And was a zombie.

        Thumb up Thumb down +32

        • lettucego
          October 11, 2012 at 11:56 am

          I award you 47% of my thumbs for that comment.

          Thumb up Thumb down +20

          • Zippy
            October 11, 2012 at 1:01 pm

            That will only leave you with one thumb and a thumbnail! But you could loan it to the ring guy from yesterday for a photo backdrop.

            Thumb up Thumb down +8

    • Bitch Pudding
      October 11, 2012 at 11:52 am

      I also thought of Emmett Kelly . But a portrait on a carnival ride.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  23. Matt Johnson
    October 11, 2012 at 11:39 am

    The nose is what sells it for me. It’s like that weird cauliflower nose W.C.Fields had.

    This is one of the strangest paintings I’ve ever seen. There isn’t a single feature that says “Mitt Romney” on it. Anywhere.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

    • abyssgazer
      October 11, 2012 at 11:46 am

      The subject does have a certain Joe Isuzu elan, however.

      Thumb up Thumb down +15

      • Matt Johnson
        October 11, 2012 at 12:00 pm

        THAT’S IT!!! I was digging in my brain for who it was! Joe Fucking Isuzu! I’d know that shit-eating grin anywhere! Thank you. That would’ve bugged me for days.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • abyssgazer
          October 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm

          Useless Recollections R US

          Thumb up Thumb down +16

          • frogprof
            October 11, 2012 at 3:31 pm

            I am putting that on a sampler TONIGHT.

            Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • angelbuttons77
      October 11, 2012 at 12:03 pm

      Fake smile and dead eyes?

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  24. angelbuttons77
    October 11, 2012 at 12:04 pm
    • angelbuttons77
      October 11, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      And another Obama, as well as a second take on Mitt…..oy vey.

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

    • FuzzyHeroics
      October 11, 2012 at 12:07 pm

      The Obama one looks like Don Cheadle…

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

    • abyssgazer
      October 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm

      Wait–Obama was in Blazing Saddles?!

      Thumb up Thumb down +14

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 5:19 pm

        (RIP, ‘Mongo’) *sniff*

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • BrooklynK
      October 11, 2012 at 12:11 pm

      I would like to point out that this Obama portrait is both made in American and made in the USA. In case you thought it was made somewhere else, like, say…Kenya.

      Thumb up Thumb down +26

    • tejasmom
      October 11, 2012 at 1:00 pm

      Obama looks dead in this one, but not as bad as Mitt -
      no Emmett Kelley.

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • Chronic Glitter Lung
      October 12, 2012 at 12:34 am

      Well, the skin tones, while not GOOD, are not AS egregiously off on that one.

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  25. outland100
    October 11, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    I love all the detail about the canvas on the posting for the original painting. So now we know this crap is painted on canvas that is “Acrylic Titanium Double Primed With Acid Free Sizing and Kiln Dried Stretcher Bars.” That just makes me want to spend $125 for it all the more.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      October 11, 2012 at 2:35 pm

      He’s reading it off the canvas packaging!

      Thumb up Thumb down +2

  26. outland100
    October 11, 2012 at 12:23 pm

    Ohh I read his bio. He is a full time painter. He loves faces. He loves to paint and share it with the world. Now I feel sorry for him and his grand delusions.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

    • lovinglymadewithspite
      October 11, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      That’s what his boss made him type.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • angel drawers
        October 11, 2012 at 8:39 pm

        Is that what the voices prefer to be called?

        Thumb up Thumb down +7

  27. BazTheRat
    October 11, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    I call my gall bladder Mitt Romney. It’s been playing up for two years and is coming out on the 25th. Somehow I imagine this is just what the surgeons will find.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

    • lettucego
      October 11, 2012 at 8:37 pm

      Hopefully after that it will never be heard from again.

      (Best of luck with your surgery :) )

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

      • BazTheRat
        October 12, 2012 at 12:10 pm

        Thanks. :) Afterwards I hope the surgeon will comply with the instructions on my organ thrower card and chuck it at the editor of the Daily Mail.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  28. onemore
    October 11, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    Smile!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

    • abyssgazer
      October 11, 2012 at 1:39 pm

      You’re going to be in trouble when no one in your office can find a good Sharpie.

      Thumb up Thumb down +16

      • Zippy
        October 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm

        That will just be the first of many, many troubles…

        Thumb up Thumb down +8

        • Matt Johnson
          October 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm

          Is that Michael Richards giving us a preview of his new comedy material?

          Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • onemore
        October 11, 2012 at 10:38 pm

        Why do you say that?
        I haven’t done anything to the sharpies.
        I’m naturally black :o

        Thumb up Thumb down +1

        • jcapua
          October 12, 2012 at 4:05 am

          Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

          Thumb up Thumb down -3

  29. Desert Blooms
    October 11, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    Is Mittens preparing for another Univision appearance?

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  30. molamolacolacake
    October 11, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    That will haunt my nightmares evermore.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  31. darkmoonlady
    October 11, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    I think it looks like someone set John Stamos’s face on fire then tried to put it out…hence the swelling and burnt toast effect.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  32. wallywick
    October 11, 2012 at 11:01 pm

    Surely I was not the only one who thought this was a painted tribute to Robert Downey, Jr’s character from Tropic Thunder, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  33. jcapua
    October 12, 2012 at 4:04 am

    I thought Will Farrell in casa de mi padre-but I doubt anyone saw that movie(including me) so…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  34. amyruthanne
    October 12, 2012 at 11:02 am

    If anybody was on the fence about this year’s election, this painting just encouraged them to vote for Obama.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

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