I’m going to get thumbed into the ground for this, but the ratio of truly witty or interesting words to endless strings of puns in these comments has seriously skewed of late. I miss you guys and your intelligent discourse! Come back from the edge of the pun abyss, for the love of all that’s holy!
I’ll be honest with you: I’m not actually a huge fan of puns. I just join in because they seem to take over these posts. I agree wholeheartedly with you, and usually give it my best, but some of these posts have skewed toward vagina/penis stuff about 80% of the time lately. The puns are something to do when the dick/pussy jokes have dried up.
Nothing against the punsters, though- they’re clever at times. But it’s more like Jumble in the newspaper. More of a brain teaser than an actual funny joke.
Angel- I don’t hate puns, they can be fun here sometimes. I just don’t tend to do puns in real life. I like them like a brain teaser or a crossword puzzle. I didn’t mean to offend the pun-fanatics here. I’ll still join in, too, but it’s just not my “go-to” type of comedy. But I’m hardly an authority on comedy, that’s for sure.
Plus, I had assumed that I had already broken everyone’s hearts collectively when I said I wasn’t into sci-fi or Star Trek or Hobbits or lazerbeams or iPhones.
My family got tired of my puns years ago. I need an outlet. I admit it. I come here looking for the puns, hoping to join in if I can think of one. Even Shakespeare loved puns!
God dang it. I read finger bang instead of ring. Now the persnickety “too many dicks” contingent will get irate. Downthumb me! With a better manicured thumb!
People here crack me up. This is what happens to your hands when you work with metal. As a jeweler he has to use buffng wheels, soldering irons, files not to mention polishing agents like rouge and emery. Did you see his shop? His stuff is beautifully made. Maybe some of you would rather have him string reseller stuff together and keep his hands prefect. If I could afford one of those rings I wouldn’t care if he made it with his feet.
I personally completely understand why his hands look like that. It’s just that I would rather not see them up close.
I presume the reason artisans do this is so that prospective buyers know that the products are actually made by hand, but it doesn’t make for a particularly attractive product presentation. Because that thumb nail looks just plain nasty.
None of his others have any body parts in them. He probably did this one spur of the moment and didn’t even think about what his hands look like because they often look like this.
I think this post is hilarious, but any silver or goldsmith will tell you that Dan’s fingers show he is hard at work. That’s all silver and gold dust under his nails- you can see it. Go head, Dan!
Maybe he’s a giant, and his hands can’t fit in a human-sized sink. When he tries to turn on a faucet he snaps it off with his mighty digits. So he must forever be denied hand-washing.
Y’all if you’re a jeweler, manicures are the farthest thing from your mind (at mine and Dan’s, anyway). That being said, a little self awareness never hurt anybody and prop that ring on your mandrel or rough stone or a donut or something else, man!
That is exactly what I was thinking. After Baligate there was a big push to show pictures of your beat up, gnarly hands to show that you can’t have a pretty manicure when you’re truly making things. I admit, this one is particularly gnarly, but I still can’t bring myself to make fun of them.
Now, show me a bikini model with pubes sticking out, and it’s on!
SWEET! The flounces last time there was a post about a hideous closeup of ugly nails that had nothing to do with the listing were EPIC! Please get screen caps, people, I haven’t seen a good flounce around here in AGES.
That’s not just “wear and tear” though – that’s thickened, discolored nails – like you get with a fungus. I want to take him to the doctor. I’m not expecting a manicure, but maybe a healthy person?? Or wtf, put the damn ring onto a piece of black fabric for the picture.
His thumb nail – NOT THE OTHERS – looks just like my brother’s did right before they removed it. It’s possible it’s from the work (I’m not a fan of manicured hands on men, I like work-roughened hands) but his other nails really look more just discolored, while the thumb looks worrisome. He’s an amazing artist, AND has a kick-ass sense of humor. Like I said – I worry.
Like I’ve said before, if you’re going to photograph your hands, make them look presentable! If they look like…like THAT, then for the love of Big Bird, have someone else model the ring!
I think it depends on one’s definition of presentable – I would be proud if my hands looked like his. I’ve “modeled” (firmly held up to the camera) animals up for adoption at the shelter, and I’ve never tried to hide my rodent-bitten, cat-scratched and work-roughened hands. If you have them, flaunt them
I think poor Dan is working his fingers to the bone. He needs to treat himself to a spa day & mani! Just faved his very unusual blue sapphire ring (on pg 1 of rings). My fingers hurt thinking about how much his must! True craftsman, which is hard to find anymore on etsy. Bravo Dan!
I’ll guess that what you’re seeing is stains from all the metal he handles. Copper oxide (“rust”) is bright green like that. That’s why old buildings have green roofs.
Totally what I was thinking. I’ve done a bit of metalish things. And some woodwork. It’s amazing how crappy your hands start looking relatively quickly. (Also as a chemist, I’ve died my fingers/nails some freaky colors, THROUGH MY GLOVES!)
Wow! I’ll have to look at his stuff. I can never find 4s & 5s but a shop with 2s sounds promising. And he does sound cool, and I’m sure working with metal can do a job on hands, but I still suggest a better backdrop for future photos.:)
His jewelry is gorgeous! Let’s just hope he uses his proceeds to see a doctor about that nail fungus. But I totally “hearted” his store since I’m getting married soon (and by soon I mean we said we’ve been together this long, we can wait a few more years…it doesn’t matter as much to us as it does to our aging parents) and would LOVE to have a set of his rings for us.
Now I just wonder if he does custom World of Warcraft rings, since that’s how my fiance and I met. Don’t judge…nerds fall in love, too.
Nah, just not funny. Metal stained hands that produce the beautiful jewelery shown on his page? Maybe not the best background, but better than the damn resellers who may, at best, chip their nail polish repackaging their Alibaba purchases.
October 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Is the stone made from his fingernail??? Nasty shit.
October 12, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Fixed it.
October 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm
Dan seems like a fungi.
October 11, 2012 at 6:00 am
I bet he’s really in shape, too; that looks like an athlete’s thumb.
October 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Sweet baby jeebus that’s gross! I’d rather see the ring modeled on the “marry me penis” from this morning!
October 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm
“The deposit will be refundable…”
So is my lunch after seeing this.
October 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I think their high volume of inquiries just took a nose dive which is what Dan’s finger looks like it has been doing too.
October 10, 2012 at 3:22 pm
That wasn’t a nose it was diving in.
October 10, 2012 at 5:03 pm
Maybe a zombie nose??
October 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm
They didn’t have any barnwood lying around, so they went with the next closest thing.
October 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm
Now, don’t be so callus.
October 10, 2012 at 4:42 pm
Show thumb tact.
October 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm
I think it’s kind of cuticle!
October 10, 2012 at 5:38 pm
I’m going to get thumbed into the ground for this, but the ratio of truly witty or interesting words to endless strings of puns in these comments has seriously skewed of late. I miss you guys and your intelligent discourse! Come back from the edge of the pun abyss, for the love of all that’s holy!
October 10, 2012 at 5:45 pm
I’ll be honest with you: I’m not actually a huge fan of puns. I just join in because they seem to take over these posts. I agree wholeheartedly with you, and usually give it my best, but some of these posts have skewed toward vagina/penis stuff about 80% of the time lately. The puns are something to do when the dick/pussy jokes have dried up.
Nothing against the punsters, though- they’re clever at times. But it’s more like Jumble in the newspaper. More of a brain teaser than an actual funny joke.
October 10, 2012 at 8:15 pm
Beats sudoku…
October 11, 2012 at 9:31 am
Matt, you just broke my heart. I’m lusting after Zippy from now on.
October 11, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Woo-hoo!
October 11, 2012 at 10:06 am
Angel- I don’t hate puns, they can be fun here sometimes. I just don’t tend to do puns in real life. I like them like a brain teaser or a crossword puzzle. I didn’t mean to offend the pun-fanatics here. I’ll still join in, too, but it’s just not my “go-to” type of comedy. But I’m hardly an authority on comedy, that’s for sure.
October 11, 2012 at 10:13 am
Plus, I had assumed that I had already broken everyone’s hearts collectively when I said I wasn’t into sci-fi or Star Trek or Hobbits or lazerbeams or iPhones.
October 11, 2012 at 10:42 am
Oh, God! I think I love you again! I CAN’T QUIT YOU!!!!!!!
October 11, 2012 at 10:47 am
We’re brokenhearted but we still love you. Even after “Pottergate 2012″.
What’s an iPhone?
October 11, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Dammit!
October 11, 2012 at 1:21 pm
Wait, I still get the lust, right?
October 11, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Of course!
October 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm
I get no lust? BUT WE’RE BOTH TRIANGLES! Is it because my mouth is open and shows no teeth and he’s got a unibrow?
October 11, 2012 at 2:00 pm
It could be the Star Trek thing. I hear Zippy can speak fluent Klingon, and y’know that drives female geometric shapes craaaazy…
October 11, 2012 at 2:05 pm
No, silly. I’m just a huge slut. No worries!
October 11, 2012 at 2:20 pm
I admire how your sluttishness is exceeded only by your honesty!
October 11, 2012 at 2:26 pm
This is turning into some kind of triangle love situation…
October 11, 2012 at 11:12 am
There’s a lot of love in this thread. Like fifty two loves.
October 10, 2012 at 9:10 pm
Write some “interesting” discourse yourself instead of complaining, those of us who love puns aren’t stopping you.
October 11, 2012 at 5:20 am
Yeah, I don’t see why they can’t both exist. This place has been pun-heavy since I got here, there’s nothing wrong with it.
I agree with lettucego- post something you want to see more of. If it’s funny, we’ll all join in.
October 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm
I don’t care for the puns myself, so I just keep scrolling. Never really saw a reason to comment on it.
October 12, 2012 at 8:05 am
My family got tired of my puns years ago. I need an outlet. I admit it. I come here looking for the puns, hoping to join in if I can think of one. Even Shakespeare loved puns!
October 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Hearted the shop – Dan’s rings are lovely, even if he’s never heard of jewelry display props.
October 10, 2012 at 4:07 pm
I agree. I’m hoping for a finger ring by Dan this Christmas.
October 10, 2012 at 6:28 pm
God dang it. I read finger bang instead of ring. Now the persnickety “too many dicks” contingent will get irate. Downthumb me! With a better manicured thumb!
October 10, 2012 at 8:19 pm
October 10, 2012 at 5:18 pm
Totally agree! I’m in the market for wedding rings and am hearting this store. Funky fingers aside, he has gorgeous work!
October 10, 2012 at 6:20 pm
He’s a good sport, and I hearted his shop.
October 11, 2012 at 12:29 am
People here crack me up. This is what happens to your hands when you work with metal. As a jeweler he has to use buffng wheels, soldering irons, files not to mention polishing agents like rouge and emery. Did you see his shop? His stuff is beautifully made. Maybe some of you would rather have him string reseller stuff together and keep his hands prefect. If I could afford one of those rings I wouldn’t care if he made it with his feet.
October 11, 2012 at 6:08 am
I personally completely understand why his hands look like that. It’s just that I would rather not see them up close.
I presume the reason artisans do this is so that prospective buyers know that the products are actually made by hand, but it doesn’t make for a particularly attractive product presentation. Because that thumb nail looks just plain nasty.
October 11, 2012 at 9:57 am
Also, his other nails aren’t as badly thickened or discolored?? So he only uses his thumbs?
I’m all for YAY his work is great (it is) but – yeah – picture should be on black velvet….not thumb….
October 11, 2012 at 11:21 am
None of his others have any body parts in them. He probably did this one spur of the moment and didn’t even think about what his hands look like because they often look like this.
October 11, 2012 at 11:58 am
His other fingers are in this picture……
October 11, 2012 at 8:33 am
I think this post is hilarious, but any silver or goldsmith will tell you that Dan’s fingers show he is hard at work. That’s all silver and gold dust under his nails- you can see it. Go head, Dan!
October 11, 2012 at 8:36 am
If he is dead, cut off his finger and scrap that shit. There’s probably $100 worth of gold dust under that nail!
October 10, 2012 at 3:07 pm
Man, I’m way too desensitized to this stuff now. My first thought was “Gee, that ring looks awfully small.”
October 10, 2012 at 3:29 pm
That was my first thought, too. Either that is a tiny ring, or he has massive hands!
October 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Maybe he’s a giant, and his hands can’t fit in a human-sized sink. When he tries to turn on a faucet he snaps it off with his mighty digits. So he must forever be denied hand-washing.
October 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Well, after all the criticism boatwood girl took for having hands that had obviously never crafted a damn thing…
October 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm
Kinda came back to bite us on our collective asses.
October 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm
I see what you did there.
October 10, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Y’all if you’re a jeweler, manicures are the farthest thing from your mind (at mine and Dan’s, anyway). That being said, a little self awareness never hurt anybody and prop that ring on your mandrel or rough stone or a donut or something else, man!
October 10, 2012 at 5:05 pm
I’d buy a ring that came with a donut.
October 11, 2012 at 12:32 am
If you look at his shop most of his stuff is nicely placed and photographed so no ones hands are in the picture.
October 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Wear some nice gloves!
October 10, 2012 at 4:26 pm
That is exactly what I was thinking. After Baligate there was a big push to show pictures of your beat up, gnarly hands to show that you can’t have a pretty manicure when you’re truly making things. I admit, this one is particularly gnarly, but I still can’t bring myself to make fun of them.
Now, show me a bikini model with pubes sticking out, and it’s on!
October 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Can I specify “no cuticle skunge” in my custom order?
October 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm
That’s not cuticle skunge. That’s your deposit.
October 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm
SWEET! The flounces last time there was a post about a hideous closeup of ugly nails that had nothing to do with the listing were EPIC! Please get screen caps, people, I haven’t seen a good flounce around here in AGES.
October 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm
I’ll take three.
October 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Sometimes, soft focus is not a bad thing…
October 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Dan’s got a shitload of inquiries, guys, be nice. It’s not like he’s sitting around with his thumb up his ass…
October 10, 2012 at 3:17 pm
That’s not Hoss’s Dan, is it?
October 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Ok, I just imagined this was balanced on his toenails and now I can’t unsee it.
October 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm
My eyes, my eyes!!!! AHH!! (i am now running around the room, hands over eyes. Tears of horror!
October 10, 2012 at 3:20 pm
Zombie jewelers?
October 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Riiiiiinnnnnggggs.
October 10, 2012 at 5:16 pm
“Til undeath do we part.”
October 10, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Gollum’s nails were cleaner than this.
October 10, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Shit, this looks the Uruk-Hai look hygienic.
October 10, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Yessss, my semi-preciousssss…
October 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm
On the plus side, at least we’re pretty sure this person is really making jewelry, unlike the well-manicured seller of Bali fame.
October 10, 2012 at 4:09 pm
I have to agree with pens. When I see those hands I believethat I am dealing with a real artist who makes the items themselves.
October 10, 2012 at 4:47 pm
I couldn’t agree more.
October 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm
That’s not just “wear and tear” though – that’s thickened, discolored nails – like you get with a fungus. I want to take him to the doctor. I’m not expecting a manicure, but maybe a healthy person?? Or wtf, put the damn ring onto a piece of black fabric for the picture.
October 10, 2012 at 5:08 pm
And I mean healthy person by – ya know – someone with healthy nails modeling. I could give a shit what the nails of the artist look like.
October 11, 2012 at 8:52 am
It’s discolored from silver and gold dust. You can see it!
October 11, 2012 at 9:53 am
His thumb nail – NOT THE OTHERS – looks just like my brother’s did right before they removed it. It’s possible it’s from the work (I’m not a fan of manicured hands on men, I like work-roughened hands) but his other nails really look more just discolored, while the thumb looks worrisome. He’s an amazing artist, AND has a kick-ass sense of humor. Like I said – I worry.
October 10, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Don’t you guys know that nail fungus is the new barnwood.
October 10, 2012 at 3:49 pm
I’m not sure I need a ring rendered in Dan’s Faux Jade.
October 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm
What Dan isn’t telling you is that Dan isn’t just a jeweler. Dan mines the gold and stones himself. With his bare hands.
October 10, 2012 at 4:40 pm
It’s a miner point…
October 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm
You can pick anyone apart, Zip. Don’t give her the shaft so quickly.
October 10, 2012 at 6:16 pm
I dig what you are both saying.
October 10, 2012 at 6:31 pm
It’s an either-ore situation.
October 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm
If he’s trying to say with the photo, “I make these myself, bitches!”, then well done. Point made. Now go wash your hands…
October 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm
UPDATE TO ITEM DESCRIPTION:
** as seen on Regretsy — you, too, can buy a cruddy old thumb! **
(btw, for those of you who are curious, the ring is a size 2
& the hands have been crafting jewelry for 30 years. cheers ~ )
I hearted his shop just for his sense of humor. And his obvious skill at his work.
October 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm
Yes, he does seem to be a nice funny guy and a skilled craftman.
We just need to pitch in and send him some ring stands, or velvet, or something.
October 10, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 11, 2012 at 5:10 pm
I didn’t know rings even came in size 2.
October 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm
He’s noticed us noticing him.
** as seen on Regretsy — you, too, can buy a cruddy old thumb! **
(btw, for those of you who are curious, the ring is a size 2
& the hands have been crafting jewelry for 30 years. cheers ~ )
October 10, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Jinx!
October 10, 2012 at 4:28 pm
Impressive we posted it at the same exact time!
October 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm
“Who has two cruddy old thumbs and makes great jewelry?
This g– Crap, I dropped the ring again. I should really quit making that joke.”
October 10, 2012 at 5:11 pm
He rocks!!!
October 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Liking how the ring is reflecting the color of the nail.
October 10, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 11, 2012 at 3:56 am
I think it depends on one’s definition of presentable – I would be proud if my hands looked like his. I’ve “modeled” (firmly held up to the camera) animals up for adoption at the shelter, and I’ve never tried to hide my rodent-bitten, cat-scratched and work-roughened hands. If you have them, flaunt them
October 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm
Hurk…
Does the deposit refer to money, or the junk in Dan’s nail grooves?
October 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm
If anyone’s hiring, I could use a hand job. With benefits! Convo me on what I’d like to gross.
October 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm
Determine the size first, then have someone ring you.
October 10, 2012 at 6:34 pm
If this doesn’t work I’ll have to resort to self-employment.
October 10, 2012 at 5:27 pm
I think poor Dan is working his fingers to the bone. He needs to treat himself to a spa day & mani! Just faved his very unusual blue sapphire ring (on pg 1 of rings). My fingers hurt thinking about how much his must! True craftsman, which is hard to find anymore on etsy. Bravo Dan!
October 10, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Yeah, I’ve gotta respect some working hands. Mine look like that, except my nails aren’t nasty. Well, AS nasty. I think.
October 10, 2012 at 5:54 pm
I’ll guess that what you’re seeing is stains from all the metal he handles. Copper oxide (“rust”) is bright green like that. That’s why old buildings have green roofs.
October 10, 2012 at 6:16 pm
See also: Statue Of Liberty
October 10, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Totally what I was thinking. I’ve done a bit of metalish things. And some woodwork. It’s amazing how crappy your hands start looking relatively quickly. (Also as a chemist, I’ve died my fingers/nails some freaky colors, THROUGH MY GLOVES!)
October 10, 2012 at 6:17 pm
“Shiny!” Too rich for my blood, but I agree, nice work.
October 10, 2012 at 6:31 pm
fo’ shizzle. That’s what pickling does to your hands.
October 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Dan wrote in that listing:
** as seen on Regretsy — you, too, can buy a cruddy old thumb! **
(btw, for those of you who are curious, the ring is a size 2
& the hands have been crafting jewelry for 30 years. cheers ~ )
I say: I love you Dan! Keep being real
October 10, 2012 at 10:44 pm
Wow! I’ll have to look at his stuff. I can never find 4s & 5s but a shop with 2s sounds promising. And he does sound cool, and I’m sure working with metal can do a job on hands, but I still suggest a better backdrop for future photos.:)
October 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Damn,that’s some pretty jewelry.
I wouldn’t mind my nails looking all gunky if I could make stuff like that.
October 11, 2012 at 10:40 am
His jewelry is gorgeous! Let’s just hope he uses his proceeds to see a doctor about that nail fungus. But I totally “hearted” his store since I’m getting married soon (and by soon I mean we said we’ve been together this long, we can wait a few more years…it doesn’t matter as much to us as it does to our aging parents) and would LOVE to have a set of his rings for us.
Now I just wonder if he does custom World of Warcraft rings, since that’s how my fiance and I met. Don’t judge…nerds fall in love, too.
October 11, 2012 at 11:42 am
Nah, just not funny. Metal stained hands that produce the beautiful jewelery shown on his page? Maybe not the best background, but better than the damn resellers who may, at best, chip their nail polish repackaging their Alibaba purchases.
October 12, 2012 at 2:06 am
Wow his jewellery is gorgeous! That’s true workmanship.
Fun fact- he’s wearing several rings in that picture. All under his nails.
October 15, 2012 at 7:30 pm
More like fungus deposit.