- Submitted by Chandra
Things are also a little slow since Dan has apparently been dead for six weeks.
Is the stone made from his fingernail??? Nasty shit.
Dan seems like a fungi.
I bet he’s really in shape, too; that looks like an athlete’s thumb.
Sweet baby jeebus that’s gross! I’d rather see the ring modeled on the “marry me penis” from this morning!
“The deposit will be refundable…”
So is my lunch after seeing this.
I think their high volume of inquiries just took a nose dive which is what Dan’s finger looks like it has been doing too.
That wasn’t a nose it was diving in.
Maybe a zombie nose??
They didn’t have any barnwood lying around, so they went with the next closest thing.
Now, don’t be so callus.
Show thumb tact.
I think it’s kind of cuticle!
I’m going to get thumbed into the ground for this, but the ratio of truly witty or interesting words to endless strings of puns in these comments has seriously skewed of late. I miss you guys and your intelligent discourse! Come back from the edge of the pun abyss, for the love of all that’s holy!
I’ll be honest with you: I’m not actually a huge fan of puns. I just join in because they seem to take over these posts. I agree wholeheartedly with you, and usually give it my best, but some of these posts have skewed toward vagina/penis stuff about 80% of the time lately. The puns are something to do when the dick/pussy jokes have dried up.
Nothing against the punsters, though- they’re clever at times. But it’s more like Jumble in the newspaper. More of a brain teaser than an actual funny joke.
Matt, you just broke my heart. I’m lusting after Zippy from now on.
Angel- I don’t hate puns, they can be fun here sometimes. I just don’t tend to do puns in real life. I like them like a brain teaser or a crossword puzzle. I didn’t mean to offend the pun-fanatics here. I’ll still join in, too, but it’s just not my “go-to” type of comedy. But I’m hardly an authority on comedy, that’s for sure.
Plus, I had assumed that I had already broken everyone’s hearts collectively when I said I wasn’t into sci-fi or Star Trek or Hobbits or lazerbeams or iPhones.
Oh, God! I think I love you again! I CAN’T QUIT YOU!!!!!!!
We’re brokenhearted but we still love you. Even after “Pottergate 2012″.
What’s an iPhone?
Wait, I still get the lust, right?
I get no lust? BUT WE’RE BOTH TRIANGLES! Is it because my mouth is open and shows no teeth and he’s got a unibrow?
It could be the Star Trek thing. I hear Zippy can speak fluent Klingon, and y’know that drives female geometric shapes craaaazy…
No, silly. I’m just a huge slut. No worries!
I admire how your sluttishness is exceeded only by your honesty!
This is turning into some kind of triangle love situation…
There’s a lot of love in this thread. Like fifty two loves.
Write some “interesting” discourse yourself instead of complaining, those of us who love puns aren’t stopping you.
Yeah, I don’t see why they can’t both exist. This place has been pun-heavy since I got here, there’s nothing wrong with it.
I agree with lettucego- post something you want to see more of. If it’s funny, we’ll all join in.
I don’t care for the puns myself, so I just keep scrolling. Never really saw a reason to comment on it.
My family got tired of my puns years ago. I need an outlet. I admit it. I come here looking for the puns, hoping to join in if I can think of one. Even Shakespeare loved puns!
Hearted the shop – Dan’s rings are lovely, even if he’s never heard of jewelry display props.
I agree. I’m hoping for a finger ring by Dan this Christmas.
God dang it. I read finger bang instead of ring. Now the persnickety “too many dicks” contingent will get irate. Downthumb me! With a better manicured thumb!
Totally agree! I’m in the market for wedding rings and am hearting this store. Funky fingers aside, he has gorgeous work!
He’s a good sport, and I hearted his shop.
People here crack me up. This is what happens to your hands when you work with metal. As a jeweler he has to use buffng wheels, soldering irons, files not to mention polishing agents like rouge and emery. Did you see his shop? His stuff is beautifully made. Maybe some of you would rather have him string reseller stuff together and keep his hands prefect. If I could afford one of those rings I wouldn’t care if he made it with his feet.
I personally completely understand why his hands look like that. It’s just that I would rather not see them up close.
I presume the reason artisans do this is so that prospective buyers know that the products are actually made by hand, but it doesn’t make for a particularly attractive product presentation. Because that thumb nail looks just plain nasty.
Also, his other nails aren’t as badly thickened or discolored?? So he only uses his thumbs?
I’m all for YAY his work is great (it is) but – yeah – picture should be on black velvet….not thumb….
None of his others have any body parts in them. He probably did this one spur of the moment and didn’t even think about what his hands look like because they often look like this.
His other fingers are in this picture……
I think this post is hilarious, but any silver or goldsmith will tell you that Dan’s fingers show he is hard at work. That’s all silver and gold dust under his nails- you can see it. Go head, Dan!
If he is dead, cut off his finger and scrap that shit. There’s probably $100 worth of gold dust under that nail!
Man, I’m way too desensitized to this stuff now. My first thought was “Gee, that ring looks awfully small.”
That was my first thought, too. Either that is a tiny ring, or he has massive hands!
Maybe he’s a giant, and his hands can’t fit in a human-sized sink. When he tries to turn on a faucet he snaps it off with his mighty digits. So he must forever be denied hand-washing.
Well, after all the criticism boatwood girl took for having hands that had obviously never crafted a damn thing…
Kinda came back to bite us on our collective asses.
I see what you did there.
Y’all if you’re a jeweler, manicures are the farthest thing from your mind (at mine and Dan’s, anyway). That being said, a little self awareness never hurt anybody and prop that ring on your mandrel or rough stone or a donut or something else, man!
I’d buy a ring that came with a donut.
If you look at his shop most of his stuff is nicely placed and photographed so no ones hands are in the picture.
Wear some nice gloves!
That is exactly what I was thinking. After Baligate there was a big push to show pictures of your beat up, gnarly hands to show that you can’t have a pretty manicure when you’re truly making things. I admit, this one is particularly gnarly, but I still can’t bring myself to make fun of them.
Now, show me a bikini model with pubes sticking out, and it’s on!
Can I specify “no cuticle skunge” in my custom order?
That’s not cuticle skunge. That’s your deposit.
SWEET! The flounces last time there was a post about a hideous closeup of ugly nails that had nothing to do with the listing were EPIC! Please get screen caps, people, I haven’t seen a good flounce around here in AGES.
I’ll take three.
Sometimes, soft focus is not a bad thing…
Dan’s got a shitload of inquiries, guys, be nice. It’s not like he’s sitting around with his thumb up his ass…
That’s not Hoss’s Dan, is it?
Ok, I just imagined this was balanced on his toenails and now I can’t unsee it.
My eyes, my eyes!!!! AHH!! (i am now running around the room, hands over eyes. Tears of horror!
“Til undeath do we part.”
Gollum’s nails were cleaner than this.
Shit, this looks the Uruk-Hai look hygienic.
Yessss, my semi-preciousssss…
On the plus side, at least we’re pretty sure this person is really making jewelry, unlike the well-manicured seller of Bali fame.
I have to agree with pens. When I see those hands I believethat I am dealing with a real artist who makes the items themselves.
I couldn’t agree more.
That’s not just “wear and tear” though – that’s thickened, discolored nails – like you get with a fungus. I want to take him to the doctor. I’m not expecting a manicure, but maybe a healthy person?? Or wtf, put the damn ring onto a piece of black fabric for the picture.
And I mean healthy person by – ya know – someone with healthy nails modeling. I could give a shit what the nails of the artist look like.
It’s discolored from silver and gold dust. You can see it!
His thumb nail – NOT THE OTHERS – looks just like my brother’s did right before they removed it. It’s possible it’s from the work (I’m not a fan of manicured hands on men, I like work-roughened hands) but his other nails really look more just discolored, while the thumb looks worrisome. He’s an amazing artist, AND has a kick-ass sense of humor. Like I said – I worry.
Don’t you guys know that nail fungus is the new barnwood.
I’m not sure I need a ring rendered in Dan’s Faux Jade.
What Dan isn’t telling you is that Dan isn’t just a jeweler. Dan mines the gold and stones himself. With his bare hands.
It’s a miner point…
You can pick anyone apart, Zip. Don’t give her the shaft so quickly.
I dig what you are both saying.
It’s an either-ore situation.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
If he’s trying to say with the photo, “I make these myself, bitches!”, then well done. Point made. Now go wash your hands…
UPDATE TO ITEM DESCRIPTION:
** as seen on Regretsy — you, too, can buy a cruddy old thumb! **
(btw, for those of you who are curious, the ring is a size 2
& the hands have been crafting jewelry for 30 years. cheers ~ )
I hearted his shop just for his sense of humor. And his obvious skill at his work.
Yes, he does seem to be a nice funny guy and a skilled craftman.
We just need to pitch in and send him some ring stands, or velvet, or something.
Some anti-fungal cream or pills??
I didn’t know rings even came in size 2.
He’s noticed us noticing him.
Impressive we posted it at the same exact time!
“Who has two cruddy old thumbs and makes great jewelry?
This g– Crap, I dropped the ring again. I should really quit making that joke.”
Liking how the ring is reflecting the color of the nail.
Like I’ve said before, if you’re going to photograph your hands, make them look presentable! If they look like…like THAT, then for the love of Big Bird, have someone else model the ring!
I think it depends on one’s definition of presentable – I would be proud if my hands looked like his. I’ve “modeled” (firmly held up to the camera) animals up for adoption at the shelter, and I’ve never tried to hide my rodent-bitten, cat-scratched and work-roughened hands. If you have them, flaunt them
Does the deposit refer to money, or the junk in Dan’s nail grooves?
If anyone’s hiring, I could use a hand job. With benefits! Convo me on what I’d like to gross.
Determine the size first, then have someone ring you.
If this doesn’t work I’ll have to resort to self-employment.
I think poor Dan is working his fingers to the bone. He needs to treat himself to a spa day & mani! Just faved his very unusual blue sapphire ring (on pg 1 of rings). My fingers hurt thinking about how much his must! True craftsman, which is hard to find anymore on etsy. Bravo Dan!
Yeah, I’ve gotta respect some working hands. Mine look like that, except my nails aren’t nasty. Well, AS nasty. I think.
I’ll guess that what you’re seeing is stains from all the metal he handles. Copper oxide (“rust”) is bright green like that. That’s why old buildings have green roofs.
See also: Statue Of Liberty
Totally what I was thinking. I’ve done a bit of metalish things. And some woodwork. It’s amazing how crappy your hands start looking relatively quickly. (Also as a chemist, I’ve died my fingers/nails some freaky colors, THROUGH MY GLOVES!)
“Shiny!” Too rich for my blood, but I agree, nice work.
fo’ shizzle. That’s what pickling does to your hands.
Dan wrote in that listing:
I say: I love you Dan! Keep being real
Wow! I’ll have to look at his stuff. I can never find 4s & 5s but a shop with 2s sounds promising. And he does sound cool, and I’m sure working with metal can do a job on hands, but I still suggest a better backdrop for future photos.:)
Damn,that’s some pretty jewelry.
I wouldn’t mind my nails looking all gunky if I could make stuff like that.
His jewelry is gorgeous! Let’s just hope he uses his proceeds to see a doctor about that nail fungus. But I totally “hearted” his store since I’m getting married soon (and by soon I mean we said we’ve been together this long, we can wait a few more years…it doesn’t matter as much to us as it does to our aging parents) and would LOVE to have a set of his rings for us.
Now I just wonder if he does custom World of Warcraft rings, since that’s how my fiance and I met. Don’t judge…nerds fall in love, too.
Nah, just not funny. Metal stained hands that produce the beautiful jewelery shown on his page? Maybe not the best background, but better than the damn resellers who may, at best, chip their nail polish repackaging their Alibaba purchases.
Wow his jewellery is gorgeous! That’s true workmanship.
Fun fact- he’s wearing several rings in that picture. All under his nails.
More like fungus deposit.
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