See all the things that look like penises here
Where is the rest of that baby? 0.0
It’s not really a baby. It’s a monster that disguises itself as a baby head and waits for concerned people to pick it up. Then it eats them, bones and all.
The hood? The bit that looks like a penis? That’s it’s mouth.
Reason 113 why NOT to pick up babies.
I am praying to every god I know that the baby is laying on its stomach and we just can’t see the body, and not that it’s been devoured by some glandular Sarlaac.
This was the baby before the unfortuneate campfire smores incedent…
It reminds me of a scene out of “Witches” which scared the ever loving heck out of me as a kid and now those nightmares shall return…
I read that as “Fairy Squirt Quartz Pendant” once the mind goes looking for the penis in the pictures watch out
That picture is so disturbing. Seriously where is the rest of the baby? Can they scrunch up like that? And who in their right mind would take that picture, look at it and say “this is perfect to advertise my baby hoodie.” Unless the poor thing actually looks like that. Gah!
I looked up the photographer to see if there were any other pictures of that baby, but music started playing that I couldn’t turn off, and one of the website sections was “testamonials”. So I had no choice but to leave.
Surely you meant ‘Testefy’.
Her testimonials are disappointingly normal. The only weird thing is that she has the guy who designed her logo testaphying about the amazing creative process of coming up with that little bit of whimsy in the corner.
I think it’s a doll. At least I hope it’s a doll, because unlike penises, no, babies cannot telescope into themselves to become much smaller when not in use.
You’ve heard of toy poodles or miniature pinschers? These are toy children – all the noise and smell but only 1/3 he space. It’s a new thing invented by hipsters living in tiny NY apartments; you’ve probably never heard of them.
Just tickle it a bit and it’ll be full size.
Penis’ or babies?
looks like a reborn. a reborn stub.
I once slept with a man whose dick looked like the top one.
Yeah, I’m assuming I was really fucking desperate for cock.
I think I dated the same guy! What a Pain in the Ass he was!
Hope that you didn’t hang it on the wall or snip off part of it.
I bet Grandma had a good time, too.
The 3rd one says:
What a perfect way to propose, or to hold the most dear thing to your heart…
any questions, please ask!
I ask: Are you serious?
It’s usually not my heart I hold “the most dear thing” to either.
That’s how you get the matching pearl necklace
Nice sentiment, eh? “My diamond ring is the thing most dear to my heart.”
Grandma kept dildos on the wall – and called them cornucopias. I think I love her.
And she grew plants in them!
I bet her cock-tus plants were quite prickly.
I wonder if it would fit a Rubber Tree.
Okay, who bought it? You beat me to it.
The babay has no body!!!
That Baby head will haunt my nightmares…
The baby is the one I laughed at the loudest. I am a horrible, horrible person.
Perhaps I *should* propose to my boyfriend with a cockring instead of going the traditional route.
Sure! If you like it, you should’ve put a ring on…
Sorry, I just can’t…
I want a crystal fairy penis. You know, just because.
Even fairies need a good shot of penicillin every now and again.
I do too! I wish it was half the price so I could get it for my birthday coming up.
The quartz pendant might be handy if you’ve got a bad case of vajeene or butt barnacles ….
Nothing says marry me like an ash tray……
An ashtray with a boner is the perfect way to propose…especially if the engagement dinner is Burger King and some cardboardeau.
An ashtray with two “beautifully red” hearts is no ordinary ashtray!
Doesn’t everybody pop a boner when they pop the question?
The fairy schlong looks like it would hurt….
The corresponding fairy orifices can accomodate a variety of sparkly pricks. At least that’s what grandma used to say as she was hanging her “cornucopia” on the wall.
The fairy schlong looks more like what I imagine the glittery, sparkly penis of a Twilight vampire to be….
Was thinking that too. Also, given that it is just 3 inches long we may now understand why Bella always looked so sulky.
And when you add up that “50 Shades” is Twilight fanfic, and Christian Grey = Edward, and whatserface is supposed to be 100% sexually inexperienced and yet praises his size and ability, it just makes it all so amusing…
There is nothing remarkable about these crafts. I say this because, thanks to Regretsy, I know see penises everywhere, in everything. I don’t think there is a cure, because I penis in the penis, and there was no penis penis to penis. Penis, there should be penis to penis. Penis!
Hidden due to low comment rating. (But it was “penis”) Don’t click here to see comment.
But I want to know what you said! Was it something to do with a penis?! I MUST KNOW!
Oh, it was about cocks. And dicks.
I have a strange craving for a hot dog right now…
Oh, thank you. Now I feel bigger. I mean better.
Dont get testy Zippy
How much penis would a penis penis penis, if a penis penis could penis penis?
I’m not good with riddles.
Is it a wanker’s dozen?
I see your penis and raise you one vagina, or maybe it’s the other way around.
Bravo! Multiple up-thumbs for you!
Some times a cigar is just a penis (quote from the Bill Clinton Horndog Compendium).
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy.
It’s divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don’t take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won’t come back
-Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Oh great, that’ll be in my head all day now.
Totally just bought the cornucopia for a Christmas gift! Thanks Regretsy!
Huh, so gator teeth are shaped like tiny penises…. I think I now understand gator wrestling.
Looks like mini tampon to me.
I don’t think it holds just those kind of rings… if you know what I mean… *wink wink* *nudge nudge*
True or phallus:
The Washington Monument was erected inside a vaginal wall.
I wonder if the crystal fairy penis can give you blue waffles
I’ve seen a LOT of scary, weird stuff on Regretsy, but that baby picture..that’s the first thing that has ever made me jump.
“Otto’s a torso, but I’m okay, Go to work in the fields all day….”
Fairy Spirits are perfect for a street fight against a gang of Randy Gnomes.
cue bad comic:
“If that baby were on your doorstep his name would be Mat”
“If you threw that baby into the pool he would be named Bob”
(I hate myself and wish I were dead)
“If that baby were on your wall he would be named Art.”
“If that baby were in a pile of leaves he would be named Russell.”
I’m right there with you…
“If that baby were in a pot, he’d be Stu.”
“‘Ere now, if that baby were a Cockney, ‘e’d be ‘Ed.”
How do you make a baby float?!
Two parts root beer AND A BABY HEAD!!
If that baby were dipped in chocolate his name would be Duncan.
If that baby were to be the source of many jokes he would be named Josh.
We can be pretty sure that it isn’t a girl named Fanny.
If he was in the trunk of a car, he’d be Jack.
what the hell is that bumpy quartz shit?
Titanium-electroplated quartz druzy, to be exact.
Uh, I mean, penis.
Actually, I take that back. I’ve seen the words “opal aura” to mean it’s actually electroplated with gold or platinum. Titanium usually gives a more opaque result.
I too would like a diamond ring for a cockring, if I indeed had a cock. Or penis.
It’s like I always say; “If you can’t lingam, yoni ‘em.”
I think the baby is a doll head. At least, I’m really hoping that’s a doll head.
On second thought, that’s a freaky ass looking doll head so either way it’s disturbing.
I’m not going to sleep a wink tonight, certain that the disembodied head of Baby Marilyn Manson is under the bed, waiting to bite my fingers if I dangle an arm accidentally.
Awww, every listing in the baby poncho shop has been taken down. From the looks of all the different photography styles and different types of items in “sold items,” though, it looks like the shop was one of those that just pulled photos of other peoples’ work from around the internet and tried to replicate it until someone saw their stuff here on regretsy and called them out about it. Or I just have an overactive imagination.
My husband just had a look at these.
He says the baby should be called “Dickhead”.
‘This lovely piece is about 8 inches long and 3 inches in diameter’. Oh man, I couldn’t stop laughing at this.
oh sweet baby jeeeesus, i love the baby poncho. how ironic
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