It’s not really a baby. It’s a monster that disguises itself as a baby head and waits for concerned people to pick it up. Then it eats them, bones and all.
The hood? The bit that looks like a penis? That’s it’s mouth.
I am praying to every god I know that the baby is laying on its stomach and we just can’t see the body, and not that it’s been devoured by some glandular Sarlaac.
That picture is so disturbing. Seriously where is the rest of the baby? Can they scrunch up like that? And who in their right mind would take that picture, look at it and say “this is perfect to advertise my baby hoodie.” Unless the poor thing actually looks like that. Gah!
I looked up the photographer to see if there were any other pictures of that baby, but music started playing that I couldn’t turn off, and one of the website sections was “testamonials”. So I had no choice but to leave.
Her testimonials are disappointingly normal. The only weird thing is that she has the guy who designed her logo testaphying about the amazing creative process of coming up with that little bit of whimsy in the corner.
I think it’s a doll. At least I hope it’s a doll, because unlike penises, no, babies cannot telescope into themselves to become much smaller when not in use.
You’ve heard of toy poodles or miniature pinschers? These are toy children – all the noise and smell but only 1/3 he space. It’s a new thing invented by hipsters living in tiny NY apartments; you’ve probably never heard of them.
The corresponding fairy orifices can accomodate a variety of sparkly pricks. At least that’s what grandma used to say as she was hanging her “cornucopia” on the wall.
And when you add up that “50 Shades” is Twilight fanfic, and Christian Grey = Edward, and whatserface is supposed to be 100% sexually inexperienced and yet praises his size and ability, it just makes it all so amusing…
There is nothing remarkable about these crafts. I say this because, thanks to Regretsy, I know see penises everywhere, in everything. I don’t think there is a cure, because I penis in the penis, and there was no penis penis to penis. Penis, there should be penis to penis. Penis!
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy.
It’s divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don’t take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won’t come back
-Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Actually, I take that back. I’ve seen the words “opal aura” to mean it’s actually electroplated with gold or platinum. Titanium usually gives a more opaque result.
I’m not going to sleep a wink tonight, certain that the disembodied head of Baby Marilyn Manson is under the bed, waiting to bite my fingers if I dangle an arm accidentally.
Awww, every listing in the baby poncho shop has been taken down. From the looks of all the different photography styles and different types of items in “sold items,” though, it looks like the shop was one of those that just pulled photos of other peoples’ work from around the internet and tried to replicate it until someone saw their stuff here on regretsy and called them out about it. Or I just have an overactive imagination.
October 10, 2012 at 10:02 am
Where is the rest of that baby? 0.0
October 10, 2012 at 10:06 am
It’s not really a baby. It’s a monster that disguises itself as a baby head and waits for concerned people to pick it up. Then it eats them, bones and all.
The hood? The bit that looks like a penis? That’s it’s mouth.
October 10, 2012 at 10:30 am
October 10, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Reason 113 why NOT to pick up babies.
October 10, 2012 at 10:09 am
I am praying to every god I know that the baby is laying on its stomach and we just can’t see the body, and not that it’s been devoured by some glandular Sarlaac.
October 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm
This was the baby before the unfortuneate campfire smores incedent…
October 10, 2012 at 10:11 am
It’s meeeelllltttiiinnnnggggg…..
October 10, 2012 at 10:23 am
It reminds me of a scene out of “Witches” which scared the ever loving heck out of me as a kid and now those nightmares shall return…
October 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm
I read that as “Fairy Squirt Quartz Pendant” once the mind goes looking for the penis in the pictures watch out
October 10, 2012 at 11:39 am
That picture is so disturbing. Seriously where is the rest of the baby? Can they scrunch up like that? And who in their right mind would take that picture, look at it and say “this is perfect to advertise my baby hoodie.” Unless the poor thing actually looks like that. Gah!
October 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm
I looked up the photographer to see if there were any other pictures of that baby, but music started playing that I couldn’t turn off, and one of the website sections was “testamonials”. So I had no choice but to leave.
October 10, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Testafy!
October 10, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Surely you meant ‘Testefy’.
October 11, 2012 at 2:27 pm
testesfy?
October 11, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Her testimonials are disappointingly normal. The only weird thing is that she has the guy who designed her logo testaphying about the amazing creative process of coming up with that little bit of whimsy in the corner.
October 10, 2012 at 7:21 pm
I think it’s a doll. At least I hope it’s a doll, because unlike penises, no, babies cannot telescope into themselves to become much smaller when not in use.
October 10, 2012 at 9:20 pm
You’ve heard of toy poodles or miniature pinschers? These are toy children – all the noise and smell but only 1/3 he space. It’s a new thing invented by hipsters living in tiny NY apartments; you’ve probably never heard of them.
October 10, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Just tickle it a bit and it’ll be full size.
October 10, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Penis’ or babies?
October 11, 2012 at 5:49 am
looks like a reborn. a reborn stub.
October 10, 2012 at 10:02 am
I once slept with a man whose dick looked like the top one.
Yeah, I’m assuming I was really fucking desperate for cock.
October 10, 2012 at 10:10 am
I think I dated the same guy! What a Pain in the Ass he was!
October 10, 2012 at 9:14 pm
Hope that you didn’t hang it on the wall or snip off part of it.
October 10, 2012 at 10:03 am
I bet Grandma had a good time, too.
October 10, 2012 at 10:08 am
The 3rd one says:
What a perfect way to propose, or to hold the most dear thing to your heart…
any questions, please ask!
I ask: Are you serious?
October 10, 2012 at 11:47 am
It’s usually not my heart I hold “the most dear thing” to either.
October 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm
That’s how you get the matching pearl necklace
October 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Nice sentiment, eh? “My diamond ring is the thing most dear to my heart.”
October 10, 2012 at 10:12 am
Grandma kept dildos on the wall – and called them cornucopias. I think I love her.
October 10, 2012 at 11:30 am
And she grew plants in them!
I bet her cock-tus plants were quite prickly.
October 10, 2012 at 11:58 am
I wonder if it would fit a Rubber Tree.
October 10, 2012 at 11:48 am
Okay, who bought it? You beat me to it.
October 10, 2012 at 10:05 am
The babay has no body!!!
October 10, 2012 at 10:05 am
That Baby head will haunt my nightmares…
October 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm
The baby is the one I laughed at the loudest. I am a horrible, horrible person.
October 10, 2012 at 10:07 am
Perhaps I *should* propose to my boyfriend with a cockring instead of going the traditional route.
October 10, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Sure! If you like it, you should’ve put a ring on…
Sorry, I just can’t…
October 10, 2012 at 10:10 am
I want a crystal fairy penis. You know, just because.
October 10, 2012 at 10:13 am
Even fairies need a good shot of penicillin every now and again.
October 10, 2012 at 10:49 am
I do too! I wish it was half the price so I could get it for my birthday coming up.
October 10, 2012 at 10:10 am
The quartz pendant might be handy if you’ve got a bad case of vajeene or butt barnacles ….
October 10, 2012 at 10:11 am
Nothing says marry me like an ash tray……
October 10, 2012 at 12:01 pm
An ashtray with a boner is the perfect way to propose…especially if the engagement dinner is Burger King and some cardboardeau.
October 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm
An ashtray with two “beautifully red” hearts is no ordinary ashtray!
October 10, 2012 at 10:12 am
Doesn’t everybody pop a boner when they pop the question?
October 10, 2012 at 10:13 am
The fairy schlong looks like it would hurt….
October 10, 2012 at 11:50 am
The corresponding fairy orifices can accomodate a variety of sparkly pricks. At least that’s what grandma used to say as she was hanging her “cornucopia” on the wall.
October 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm
The fairy schlong looks more like what I imagine the glittery, sparkly penis of a Twilight vampire to be….
October 10, 2012 at 9:40 pm
Was thinking that too. Also, given that it is just 3 inches long we may now understand why Bella always looked so sulky.
October 11, 2012 at 7:26 am
And when you add up that “50 Shades” is Twilight fanfic, and Christian Grey = Edward, and whatserface is supposed to be 100% sexually inexperienced and yet praises his size and ability, it just makes it all so amusing…
October 10, 2012 at 10:18 am
There is nothing remarkable about these crafts. I say this because, thanks to Regretsy, I know see penises everywhere, in everything. I don’t think there is a cure, because I penis in the penis, and there was no penis penis to penis. Penis, there should be penis to penis. Penis!
October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. (But it was “penis”) Don’t click here to see comment.
October 10, 2012 at 10:46 am
But I want to know what you said! Was it something to do with a penis?! I MUST KNOW!
October 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Oh, it was about cocks. And dicks.
Penis.
October 10, 2012 at 4:34 pm
I have a strange craving for a hot dog right now…
October 10, 2012 at 7:47 pm
Oh, thank you. Now I feel bigger. I mean better.
October 10, 2012 at 5:19 pm
Dont get testy Zippy
October 10, 2012 at 8:04 pm
Balls!
October 10, 2012 at 9:01 pm
Nuticles
October 10, 2012 at 10:49 am
How much penis would a penis penis penis, if a penis penis could penis penis?
October 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm
Eight?
I’m not good with riddles.
October 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Is it a wanker’s dozen?
October 10, 2012 at 11:53 am
I see your penis and raise you one vagina, or maybe it’s the other way around.
October 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm
Bravo! Multiple up-thumbs for you!
(penis penis)
October 10, 2012 at 9:36 pm
Some times a cigar is just a penis (quote from the Bill Clinton Horndog Compendium).
October 10, 2012 at 9:51 pm
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy.
It’s divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don’t take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won’t come back
-Monty Python’s Flying Circus
October 11, 2012 at 4:52 am
Oh great, that’ll be in my head all day now.
(“Head”. Hee-hee.)
October 10, 2012 at 10:20 am
Totally just bought the cornucopia for a Christmas gift! Thanks Regretsy!
October 10, 2012 at 11:01 am
Huh, so gator teeth are shaped like tiny penises…. I think I now understand gator wrestling.
October 10, 2012 at 9:37 pm
Looks like mini tampon to me.
October 15, 2012 at 7:48 pm
Fairy tampon.
October 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm
I don’t think it holds just those kind of rings… if you know what I mean… *wink wink* *nudge nudge*
October 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm
True or phallus:
The Washington Monument was erected inside a vaginal wall.
October 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm
I wonder if the crystal fairy penis can give you blue waffles
October 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm
I’ve seen a LOT of scary, weird stuff on Regretsy, but that baby picture..that’s the first thing that has ever made me jump.
October 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm
“Otto’s a torso, but I’m okay, Go to work in the fields all day….”
October 10, 2012 at 3:53 pm
Fairy Spirits are perfect for a street fight against a gang of Randy Gnomes.
October 10, 2012 at 3:57 pm
cue bad comic:
“If that baby were on your doorstep his name would be Mat”
“If you threw that baby into the pool he would be named Bob”
(I hate myself and wish I were dead)
October 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm
“If that baby were on your wall he would be named Art.”
“If that baby were in a pile of leaves he would be named Russell.”
I’m right there with you…
October 10, 2012 at 5:00 pm
“If that baby were in a pot, he’d be Stu.”
“‘Ere now, if that baby were a Cockney, ‘e’d be ‘Ed.”
October 10, 2012 at 5:34 pm
How do you make a baby float?!
Two parts root beer AND A BABY HEAD!!
October 10, 2012 at 9:34 pm
If that baby were dipped in chocolate his name would be Duncan.
If that baby were to be the source of many jokes he would be named Josh.
We can be pretty sure that it isn’t a girl named Fanny.
October 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm
If he was in the trunk of a car, he’d be Jack.
October 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm
what the hell is that bumpy quartz shit?
October 10, 2012 at 10:29 pm
Titanium-electroplated quartz druzy, to be exact.
Uh, I mean, penis.
October 10, 2012 at 10:33 pm
Actually, I take that back. I’ve seen the words “opal aura” to mean it’s actually electroplated with gold or platinum. Titanium usually gives a more opaque result.
October 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm
I too would like a diamond ring for a cockring, if I indeed had a cock. Or penis.
Penis.
October 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm
It’s like I always say; “If you can’t lingam, yoni ‘em.”
October 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm
I think the baby is a doll head. At least, I’m really hoping that’s a doll head.
On second thought, that’s a freaky ass looking doll head so either way it’s disturbing.
October 10, 2012 at 8:23 pm
I’m not going to sleep a wink tonight, certain that the disembodied head of Baby Marilyn Manson is under the bed, waiting to bite my fingers if I dangle an arm accidentally.
October 11, 2012 at 2:31 am
Awww, every listing in the baby poncho shop has been taken down. From the looks of all the different photography styles and different types of items in “sold items,” though, it looks like the shop was one of those that just pulled photos of other peoples’ work from around the internet and tried to replicate it until someone saw their stuff here on regretsy and called them out about it. Or I just have an overactive imagination.
October 11, 2012 at 4:55 am
My husband just had a look at these.
He says the baby should be called “Dickhead”.
October 11, 2012 at 4:56 am
‘This lovely piece is about 8 inches long and 3 inches in diameter’. Oh man, I couldn’t stop laughing at this.
October 11, 2012 at 10:00 am
oh sweet baby jeeeesus, i love the baby poncho. how ironic