I don’t see your earrings, but I think I found my car keys.
“When did we have corn for dinner?”
Hello, Hellooo, Helllloooooo
Anyone in there, in there, in there, inthere?
They had her car keys at the gift shop…
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The model in the back’s face is either saying; “YUM!” or; “What the hell is that?”
Does this faux wood flooring make my ass look big?
Clearly too classy for barn wood. SACRIFICES in the name of fashion need to be made here! It’s not all about your ass!
As statues, I’m not interested.
Salt and pepper shakers? Hell, yes!
I was thinking more for my desk at work. Lost earring girl for my paper clips and unicorn penis-head lesbian for the important post-it notes.
Thumb me down all you like, but I sitll try to understand if this comment was a joke or not. The unicorn head part specifically.
Most of us know our asses from our elbows, but still confuse our elbows with unicorn horns.
Something about the girl on the left screams “tape dispenser” to me.
I insist that my kitschy non-nutritive erotica have a functional value. Damn it.
That ain’t barnwood. The standards are slipping . . .
WAIT! How could you have passed this up?
I was JUST going to link that. Holy schlong!
Can I borrow the ladder?
I like his dandy hat!
Well THAT is clearly not barnwood.
Why am I hearing the lines of the dad in A Christmas Story, when they’re at the Chinese restaurant?
‘!It’s a beautiful duck. It really is. But you see….. it’s…. smiling at me.’
OSHA does not approve.
Looks like my husband.
One of the hidden gifts coming with regretsy is the featured shops. The wtf item is almost always in good company.
Click on the picture and get even more of a surprise!
that’s what led me to the aforementioned! Many other options to choose from. Perfect gift for any Grad, Dad or Lad!
It looks more like someone got volunteered to help her friend Shelly pass the “Asshole Bleaching” part of her cosmetology exam.
Shelly is all, “I swear to god I have no idea why it turned yellow.”
She forgot to use the toner.
Didn’t use enough peroxide lol
I can imagine the conversation that thing would start.
“What the HELL are those naked women doing on your coffee table?!”
“Well, one of them lost her earrings.”
“WHICH one, and WHERE are the earrings?”
“That’s probably for them to figure out.”
“Do you think she really wants them BACK?”
“It could be worse, the guy version of this piece dropped the soap.”
Looking at the prices he’s charging for the statues, their dimensions, and his shipping costs, I am going to guess that when he says “bronze,” he means “cold-cast bronze” (otherwise known as ‘plastic’).
But at least now I know where to get my relatively inexpensive erotic statues for when I’m entertaining Leon Phelps.
Is this what having smoke blown up your ass looks like?
Statue #1: “Oh my, I must tell you that your wedding ring is very cold.”
Statue #2: “I’m not wearing a wedding ring. That’s my wristwatch.”
It’s so distressing when one loses an earring just as Playful Lesbian Night is getting interesting.
I know, right? I HATE when that happens. My husband is out of town so rarely.
“A nice conversation piece”? What ‘nice’ conversations could result from adult novelty decorations? XD
(pssst… Cro, “MNSFW” warning next time? )
My mother is coming to visit in two weeks… I may need to get these just in case there’s a lull in the conversation.
Here I was thinking that when I looked in the freezer for my earrings I had looked EVERYWHERE.
I always thought being a lesbian also meant never having to be in that position again.
I guess I need to rethink my future life choices, because “all fours and ass up” stops being attractive after gravity rears it’s ugly head,
Nah, all the person in back can see is your back – the rest is dangling out of sight. Way better than when you lay on your back with your tits in your armpits….
Depends on how wide your rear is…
We should make a comprehensive list of “Things The Internet Thinks Lesbians Do.” This can be #73 – Yell playfully into each other’s assholes.
“Can you hear me NOW?”
or #74 – “waiting for husbands to go out of town to have sex”
which raises the question – if you don’t have a husband, is he considered out of town for sex intents and purposes?
#75 – sit on out-of-scale, but happy elephants. So she has to wait until the husband is out of town, but not until the elephant is out of town? Funny, I never thought of lesbians that way.
I don’t understand why this woman is a lesbian. Do I just know weird lesbians who are not sexually aroused by pachyderms? Or is every woman who doesn’t necessarily need a penis considered a lesbian these days?
One might argue she has a level of physical attractiveness that effectively excludes the author from the list of possible partners. Therefore, by the power of rationalization and butt-soothing, she must be a lesbian.
#76 – put vaginas and/or rainbows on ALL THE THINGS.
Someone is mixing them up with 13 year old boys or 5 year old girls.
#1 – Have sex with men.
#2 – Have sex with women but exactly like heteroes do.
#3 – Have gay sex accidentally, while trying to accomplish something else, like bathe or try on clothes or clean a toilet.
That looks more like naked Furries Off Leash Dog Park. Though the playbows usually come after the dominance humping.
This guy has an interesting store. Erotoc nude statues and for some reason some elephants. Also nude.
And I think this guy really into his elephants. Take this description:
THIS HAPPY ELEPHANT LIFTS HER TRUNK AND SWINGS HER TAIL LETTING YOU KNOW SHE IS IN A BLISSFUL MOOD. SHE LIFTS HER TRUNK AND EXPOSES THE UNDERSIDE WHICH IS ADORNED IN A GORGEOUS SHINY GOLD PATINA. SHE IS AN INNOCENT LITTLE THING WITH SMALL BEADY EYES AND A SWEET FACE. SHE IS YOUNG AND CURIOUS AND HER TUSKS ARE JUST COMING IN.
It’s okay to love your elephant, but…
That is apparently an elephant named Lolita.
Duuuude! nsfw! NSFWWWWWW!
I can really get behind this.
The fact that I read that in William Shatner’s voice just made my night. Oh my.
Exactly why a female Dr. is never employed to perform my colonoscopies! First it’s an earring, next thing you know, it’s a necklace…………Colon polyps my ass!
This is clearly a reseller. Not this statue set in particular, but a bunch of them show up as being ebay and alibaba
Whoever is buying this is not looking for real handmade, they’re not looking into supporting an artist or a crafter; they’re looking to be the third party to the little scene displayed here…
One can – and should- be looking for both.
I would actually be into bronze sex statues if they were a) bronze b) showed something I recognize as a Thing Lesbians Actually Do and c) had more body type options so I could find something pitched in my direction.
Lost Earrings? I must be doing it wrong.
Alternative (rejected) titles:
A: “Two Girls, Four C Cups”
B: “I Am Curious: Butthole”
C: “Vinyasa For Exhibitionists”
D: “Human Centipede 3: Lesbian Experimentation Divorce Court”
And hey, who wants to write the episode of “Wonderfalls” where THESE little numbers start telling the gal what to do?
Huge props for the “Wonderfalls” reference…one of my all-time favorites – thought I was the only one who loved/remembered it. Also, I do NOT want to see that episode.
“I can see my reflection!”
Does it bother anyone else that this guy is attempting to sell an item for $250 without including a full picture of the piece?
They’re trying to comply with the law stating all ingredients must be clearly listed.
Girl 2: Damn it, Kelly. I told you I’m on a gluten-free diet!
I found this in the seller’s shop, and I think it’s an apt response to most of his work:
I’m renaming it “The Facepalm” and will be using the picture whenever something…makes me make that face. Which is often, on the internet.
Oh damn…the shop is down. Why am I always a day late???
Where are the “Serious Lesbian” statues where the two women are looking for the lost standards in art?
Never put your earrings in my underwear ever again!
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