Just a Little Hole in the Wall
I came across one of these in a Minnesota bathroom years ago. But it was more of a wall than a table, and by wall I mean gloryhole.
78 comments on Just a Little Hole in the Wall
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October 7, 2012 at 10:03 am
Imagine calling the Fire Brigade to come and help you out of that!
October 7, 2012 at 10:05 am
Barnwood for your wood!
October 7, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Driftwood phallus not included.
October 7, 2012 at 5:05 pm
a hole for your ladywood?
October 7, 2012 at 10:06 am
It looks like it would tip right over. Also the top isn’t even level, so your drink would tip over too. So for $300 you’re not getting a “table” so much as a “random hunk of wood.”
October 7, 2012 at 10:07 am
….with a useful hole.
You forgot the useful hole!
October 7, 2012 at 11:44 am
It’s pretty small. I think it would only be useful to leprechauns.
October 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm
It’s 11 x 11″, while it might be considered small by side table standards, that hole would still be about 1 1/4″. So either you think pretty *large* of yourself, or you have been fooled by the leprechauns.
October 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm
I meant height, and I don’t have one personally. But the idea of being fooled by the wee folk is hilarious. Fool’s gold and large penises!
October 7, 2012 at 10:07 am
I’m concerned by the use of the word “playing” in the description. If I’m going to buy a glory-hole table, I don’t want anyone else to have been playing with it
October 7, 2012 at 10:37 am
The description on Etsy goes on to say “I love this little table.” Hmmm …
October 7, 2012 at 11:31 am
I think I saw this table once on “Weird Sex”. And I think it involved goatse, vaseline, and a useful tip on the best way to remove splinters. I’m guessing it was sanded smooth with another wood “instrument”? And, if you’ve been playing with it AT ALL, I wouldn’t touch it without gloves and a hazmat suit!
October 7, 2012 at 3:22 pm
Well, I’d like to point out that on the up side, we now have yet another piece for our hipster barnwood porn prop collection.
October 7, 2012 at 10:07 am
Isn’t that just a sawn-off chunk of ’70s playground equipment?
October 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm
It looks more like a salvaged telephone pole.
October 7, 2012 at 10:09 am
What I woodn’t do for a table like that!
October 7, 2012 at 10:41 am
Surely you’re knot serious.
October 7, 2012 at 10:47 am
No, I’m not. Whoever buys that is a sap.
October 7, 2012 at 11:22 am
I figured you were just joaking.
October 7, 2012 at 11:37 am
I can’t beleaf anyone woodn’t want a this! I’m totally pinning for one of these!
October 7, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Maybe if the seller spruced it up a bit.
October 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm
No, just selling it for a larch.
October 7, 2012 at 12:42 pm
Probably hoping some dumb birch will buy it.
October 7, 2012 at 12:47 pm
This is such acorny bunch of nonsense!
October 7, 2012 at 1:15 pm
I’ve seen better pieces of ash.
October 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Yew could do worse.
October 7, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Support for this table concept is splintering
October 9, 2012 at 12:49 pm
I’m serious, and don’t call me Shirley.
October 7, 2012 at 10:11 am
My question is, do you really want it if he’s already been “playing with it” for a month?
October 7, 2012 at 11:48 am
In woodworking circles that’s called a Patina.
October 7, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Actually, in woodworking circles we would call it “terrible”.
October 7, 2012 at 10:18 am
This is just begging for a Photoshopped goatse! Anyone?
October 7, 2012 at 11:11 am
beat me to it, Babs, was going to say it looked like a wooden goatse!
October 7, 2012 at 11:39 am
I agree…the knot around the wood has a butt like appearance and the hole is just big enough for some amazing goatse!
October 7, 2012 at 10:21 am
Wood, pecker.
October 7, 2012 at 10:42 am
Ribbed for your pleasure.
October 7, 2012 at 10:42 am
NEVER mistake a Gloryhole for a Peephole!
October 7, 2012 at 3:53 pm
You could put an eye out like that!
October 7, 2012 at 10:43 am
Sorry, I’m not a firry.
October 7, 2012 at 11:06 am
You’re knot?
October 7, 2012 at 11:16 am
How wood you be sure?
October 7, 2012 at 11:29 am
I could branch into firry. Or sprucey. Or piney.
October 7, 2012 at 11:40 am
Maple deep down in your roots you are.
October 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm
So Yew are Chestnut into that?
October 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Because of all these puns. I’m afraid I must close this thread. TIMBER!!!!!!
October 7, 2012 at 10:43 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw7LdZSh5EM
The OOOOOOOOOOOOOLD GLORY HOLE!
October 7, 2012 at 10:49 am
I’m actually quite impressed that he managed to gouge out such a sizeable hole after only a month ‘playing with’ this thing he claims is a table.
October 7, 2012 at 10:54 am
It’s like if The Shawshank Redemption were a porn!
(The ShawSKANK Redemption, obvs)
October 7, 2012 at 10:58 am
October 7, 2012 at 11:01 am
what I meant to say was
October 7, 2012 at 11:12 am
helluva splinter to get…
October 7, 2012 at 10:56 am
(11″ x 11″ 22″)
Assuming the seller means it’s 11″ square and 22″ high.
I’ve moved on from the soulsucking goatse hole to wondering if it’s a table or stool, really.
Dull comment is dull. This is what comes when you can’t have caffine for a week.
October 7, 2012 at 11:39 am
Admittedly, some of his other stuff seems pretty nice, but my thoughts about the “table” were pretty close.
That and “That’s just an old chunk of fencepost”
It’s too dreary our for me to snark I guess…
October 7, 2012 at 11:11 am
Arrr, how well I remember holes like these from me glory days as a buccaneer! Many’s the Pirate Party Night I spent near a certain spot in the bulkhead!
October 7, 2012 at 11:45 am
Arrr…me cannon balls would be ever so heavy without one!
October 7, 2012 at 11:25 am
Patina! It’s been a day or two since we saw that one, hasn’t it? Now if he would just use repurposed or upcycled instead of recycled, we’d be halfway to a bingo card.
October 7, 2012 at 11:34 am
Just what want for my home decor. Something that reminds me of random anonymous sex. Someone else ‘s random anonymous sexton.
October 7, 2012 at 11:36 am
Oobviously that was supposed to be sex not sexton. Stupid autocorrect.
October 8, 2012 at 3:33 am
I think it’s better as “sexton”.
October 7, 2012 at 11:45 am
This is not a table. This a is a baby girl Ent.
October 7, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Does this mean they finally found the Entwives??
October 7, 2012 at 11:48 am
Not that I’m a size queen…but that hole looks a bit on the small size. How brave of our lonely woodsman so put himself out like that for our amusement!
October 7, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Hi. Straight Guy here.
No. No I’m not going to stick my wang in/through that.
No.
October 7, 2012 at 1:12 pm
What if I sweeten the deal and throw in about 35 wang splinters?
October 7, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Thank you for that.
October 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm
No one has commented on the ninety dollar — NINETY DOLLAR — shipping charge. What does the seller do… take Greyhound to your town and hand-deliver it to your door?
October 7, 2012 at 5:28 pm
He shows you how to play with it.
October 7, 2012 at 8:43 pm
Eww. Just… EWWWWWWWW.
October 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm
Ah don’t be so hard on the seller, this is just a prototype!
October 7, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Is it wrong I want to buy this and send it to my ex? I heard his second marriage isn’t doing too well.
October 7, 2012 at 8:35 pm
Probably not wrong to send it to him. Probably IS wrong if you want to spend that much to do so.
October 7, 2012 at 7:27 pm
I came across one of these in a Minnesota bathroom
I see what you did there.
October 7, 2012 at 10:25 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64265078/8×10-photo-of-scary-clown
This table isn’t the only thing that’s knotty about his shop.
October 7, 2012 at 10:28 pm
And this one is even knottier….
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64265396/8×10-photo-of-scary-clown
October 8, 2012 at 4:30 am
October 8, 2012 at 8:09 am
God bless you, citizen.
October 9, 2012 at 10:17 am
And by playing with it, he means “sticking my penis in it”. Just in case that wasn’t clear.
October 9, 2012 at 11:30 pm
The last time I sepnt $300 on someone elses used glory hole I got dutch elm disease. No way I’m going through that again.