You are wasting your time. The only thing these otherwise nice people here won’t ever get is meta-counter-ironic humour. Unless it comes from the three people who run the site. And then again even them will have to sign in order for the joke to be got.
“if you don’t have anything nice to say, join the club” must have had some other hidden meaning? In a “meta” kinda way? I don’t even know what the hell a meta is & don’t want to know! I’m here to relax & have fun (mostly reading) snark (I’m still a mere snarkling) ty
Well done. I had the perfect delayed reaction to that. Internal monologue: “Sam and Ella? Huh?” *scrolls back up to post to look for reference to Sam and Ella* *Doesn’t find anything, scrolls back down* “Huh, Sam and Ella? OH!!!!!”
I kinda feel bad for the guy. He sounds so sincere.
I’m sincere when I tell stories of my cats. But no one is going to buy my shitty cat stories on Etsy.
Or ebay, or craigslist, or a charity event, or at their doorsteps.
I think the description is rather beautiful. It’s nice to know that there are people who aren’t so jaded by life that they are genuinely moved by events in the natural world.
Anyone who uses “a journey that culminates in a climax of fertilization” to describe a sculpture that looks like a Piranha in dog shit is either smoking some good doobie or really, really likes fish.
I’ve seen salmon do the spawn and die thing and this sculpture doesn’t look like that. It does, however, look exactly like how I would imagine a piranha in dog shit.
See, I learned something. I always thought that at the end of their lives, salmon just sat around card tables in retirement homes forcing each other to look at pictures of their grandspawn, and complaining about their intestinal problems.
It’s actually because I was trying to register for another website years ago. Every freaking name I put in was taken, and my leg was cramping up because I have a ‘salt tooth’ and end up dehydrated all the time as a result. Most of my friends call me Ana, so in frustration I typed in crampedsultana. (Cramped Salt Ana). Hey, it’s better than irritablebowelsyndromesultana…
October 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm
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October 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Aww someones a grumpy puss. Did someone forget their gin and tonic before their nap?
October 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm
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October 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm
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October 6, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Yes, we know. Still needs more gin and tonic to be funny.
October 6, 2012 at 4:32 pm
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October 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm
“And then again even them will have to sign in order for the joke to be got.”
Hard to believe no one understands you.
October 6, 2012 at 4:46 pm
If you don’t like the people here, why don’t you go away?
October 6, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Yes, please. Those of us who are here for the funny laugh-times and wordplay just want to carry on.
October 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Every time nobody thinks you’re funny, you start whining that we just don’t get your edgy meta-humour.
And every time nobody thinks someone else is funny, you step in to explain to them that we just don’t get it.
Maybe it IS you after all?
October 6, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Edgy meta-humor. Um, hipsteritis, maybe?
October 6, 2012 at 6:57 pm
“if you don’t have anything nice to say, join the club” must have had some other hidden meaning? In a “meta” kinda way? I don’t even know what the hell a meta is & don’t want to know! I’m here to relax & have fun (mostly reading) snark (I’m still a mere snarkling) ty
October 7, 2012 at 10:29 am
Hipsters should be lit on fire, and not heard. Or wait… how does that go again?
October 7, 2012 at 9:15 am
If you were going for the most thumbs down votes….I think you’ve succeeded. Good job (?)
October 7, 2012 at 11:49 am
Cookie?
October 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm
TL; DR
Lost the will to live actually.
Bored me to death.
That salmon was one of the lucky ones. It didn’t have to read that incessant drivel.
October 6, 2012 at 3:07 pm
If I ever open a sushi place, I’m naming it “Sam & Ella’s”.
October 6, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Well done. I had the perfect delayed reaction to that. Internal monologue: “Sam and Ella? Huh?” *scrolls back up to post to look for reference to Sam and Ella* *Doesn’t find anything, scrolls back down* “Huh, Sam and Ella? OH!!!!!”
Derp!
October 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm
LeeLoo, you fucking champion!
October 6, 2012 at 3:09 pm
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October 6, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Sadly, the life cycle of the salmon plays out exactly like Aquaman’s final days.
October 6, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Carp – that was meant as a stand alone comment.
October 6, 2012 at 3:16 pm
But extra points for the fish pun!
October 6, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Which I’m sure was just done for the halibut.
October 6, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Only in your wet dreams.
October 6, 2012 at 5:02 pm
I sea what you did there.
October 6, 2012 at 8:56 pm
Don’t flounder with your responses or you’ll be scalloped.
October 7, 2012 at 6:09 am
While the puns continue I’ll be over here drinking like a …
drinking a lot.
October 7, 2012 at 3:25 pm
I think we could orca-strate a really good line of puns from this one…
October 7, 2012 at 10:32 am
Ah… I read that as “fish punt.” Not enough coffee in my irish coffee? I don’t even know…
October 6, 2012 at 3:10 pm
The perfect companion piece for the Dead Orca coffee table.
October 6, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Dammit. Already used up my terrible fish puns on that thing too.
October 6, 2012 at 3:18 pm
Yeah, saw that one way too late to join in on the pun-fest
October 6, 2012 at 3:19 pm
It’s OK, this post will spawn many more.
October 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Or die trying
October 7, 2012 at 3:03 pm
True. It’s like CG is baiting us for more fish puns.
October 6, 2012 at 3:30 pm
Maybe we can have a big Roe about it.
October 6, 2012 at 3:39 pm
We’ll just need to scale it back a little.
October 6, 2012 at 4:05 pm
I can’t bear the suspense.
October 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm
FIN
October 7, 2012 at 10:35 am
CODA
October 6, 2012 at 4:41 pm
All these fish puns are giving me a splitting haddock.
October 6, 2012 at 7:00 pm
try to tuna them out or you’ll end up with a mahi-mahigrain
October 6, 2012 at 7:02 pm
su shi didn’t!
October 6, 2012 at 8:58 pm
let me give you some mussels to withstand another fish pun. I’ll lobstah it ovah to ya right now. ayup.
October 7, 2012 at 8:37 am
So bassically, we are all out of fish puns then?
October 7, 2012 at 9:16 am
No, I’m sure we can flounder around and find more…..
October 7, 2012 at 10:36 am
I volunteer to be no kelp at all.
October 7, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Now, now – we don’t want you looking green about the gills. Just sit down on your bass and sip a nice fin & tonic and chill.
October 6, 2012 at 3:20 pm
I kinda feel bad for the guy. He sounds so sincere.
I’m sincere when I tell stories of my cats. But no one is going to buy my shitty cat stories on Etsy.
Or ebay, or craigslist, or a charity event, or at their doorsteps.
October 6, 2012 at 6:16 pm
Ar least you are astute enough not to try to hawk them. Unlike Etsy sellers.
October 7, 2012 at 5:50 pm
How do you know if you haven’t tried to sell them?
October 7, 2012 at 9:58 pm
I thought Chicken Slammer had tried.
At least they’re not offered with an indifferent sculpture of a dead cat.
October 10, 2012 at 8:43 am
Sell anything I make? No. Not even actual things that are sewn.
October 6, 2012 at 3:24 pm
I think the description is rather beautiful. It’s nice to know that there are people who aren’t so jaded by life that they are genuinely moved by events in the natural world.
The sculpture, however, is 32 flavors of hideous.
October 6, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Anyone who uses “a journey that culminates in a climax of fertilization” to describe a sculpture that looks like a Piranha in dog shit is either smoking some good doobie or really, really likes fish.
October 6, 2012 at 5:48 pm
I’m pretty convinced he really, really likes fish.
October 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm
I’ve seen salmon do the spawn and die thing and this sculpture doesn’t look like that. It does, however, look exactly like how I would imagine a piranha in dog shit.
October 6, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Isnt this guy kind of admitting being into fish porn?
October 6, 2012 at 6:45 pm
Maybe he’s short on human partners. I don’t know a lot of women who like to do it on a gravel bed
October 6, 2012 at 7:37 pm
Especially when said gravel bed is under an inch or two of freezing cold water…
October 6, 2012 at 7:03 pm
and from the sounds of it, jacking-off while typing it!
October 6, 2012 at 3:31 pm
At least now I know what I’m having for dinner. Once I thaw out the Bear steaks, of course.
October 6, 2012 at 3:33 pm
“Ahhhhh! I’m milting!”
October 6, 2012 at 6:30 pm
I thought I smelt something.
October 6, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Am I herring you right?
October 6, 2012 at 7:04 pm
I’m tired of all this carp!
October 6, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Aww, be a chum about it
October 6, 2012 at 8:01 pm
Yes, try to relax, even if it pisces you off.
October 6, 2012 at 8:42 pm
It’s all I’ve been herring!
October 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Don’t get on fire about it or you’ll get your pilchard
October 7, 2012 at 6:00 am
We better try and tuna this situation around and hope for a betta day.
October 7, 2012 at 9:11 am
In your breams.
October 7, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Clam yo tits, girl.
October 6, 2012 at 3:38 pm
Fisher
Fissure
October 6, 2012 at 4:06 pm
End of passage?
I think I know which passage he’s talking about.
October 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Is a “fisher” a fissure in a faux fish?
October 6, 2012 at 9:00 pm
does a bear crap in the woods? Yes it does.. now you can get carved petrified bear turds with teeth. The circle of life is now complete.
October 6, 2012 at 4:31 pm
See, I learned something. I always thought that at the end of their lives, salmon just sat around card tables in retirement homes forcing each other to look at pictures of their grandspawn, and complaining about their intestinal problems.
October 6, 2012 at 4:37 pm
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October 6, 2012 at 5:10 pm
I am gonna guess it’s referring to the greatest american maritime disaster ever…
http://www.austinblaircamp7.com/sulmemor.htm
October 6, 2012 at 7:52 pm
It could be the grapes. Maybe a James and the Giant Peach kinda thing, except with, ya know – a really small, cramped grape.
October 6, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Maybe it’s “Cram pedsult, Ana!”
I’d love to know what Ana did to deserve a pedsult like that.
October 7, 2012 at 6:37 am
It’s actually because I was trying to register for another website years ago. Every freaking name I put in was taken, and my leg was cramping up because I have a ‘salt tooth’ and end up dehydrated all the time as a result. Most of my friends call me Ana, so in frustration I typed in crampedsultana. (Cramped Salt Ana). Hey, it’s better than irritablebowelsyndromesultana…
October 6, 2012 at 5:36 pm
GET OFF MY SPAWN
October 6, 2012 at 7:44 pm
Larvae these days!
October 6, 2012 at 6:29 pm
Why so toothy, Blinky (tm-Simpsons)
October 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm
Blinky is my favorite Simpsons character!
<img src ="http://images2.fanpop.com/image/category/www/7670_100_100.jpg"
October 6, 2012 at 8:53 pm
well that didnt work…
October 6, 2012 at 6:48 pm
AWWWW, Crochet Guevara, this is perfect “Regretsy Theater” material! It would be wonderful if you would treat us to some!!
October 6, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Fish porn, fish porn
Lovely lovely fish porn
Spank it out
CUMMM
October 7, 2012 at 12:09 am
I took a fish head out to see a movie
Didn’t have to pay to get it in
…….that’s what she said
October 7, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I gave you a thumbs up because I know what you were talking about.
October 8, 2012 at 6:32 am
Glad I’m not the only one who went to summer camp.
October 7, 2012 at 3:52 pm
I actually like this one, but it probably helps that I’m an avid angler and I live in the Pacific Northwest.
I think it would look better if it had been painted with glaze, though. The solid brown color just doesn’t work for me.
The artist has some really nice looking glazed pieces in his store.
October 8, 2012 at 6:30 pm