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Dead Willy

WE’RE GOING TO NEED MORE FEBREZE

72 comments on Dead Willy

  1. tokyochaser
    October 5, 2012 at 3:02 pm

    Looks a little fishy to me

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

    • curious3d
      October 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm

      When it comes to decorating, taking a risk every once in a whale can really make a difference.

      Thumb up Thumb down +43

      • Corvidae
        October 5, 2012 at 3:25 pm

        I’d better check my bank account. If I overspend to buy this, I don’t think anyone would be baleen me out.

        Thumb up Thumb down +35

        • K
          October 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

          Your friends are real beaches.

          Thumb up Thumb down +32

          • upscumbag
            October 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

            Seems like a fluke listing to me.

            Thumb up Thumb down +19

            • Zippy
              October 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

              I wouldn’t blowhole lotta cash on this.

              Thumb up Thumb down +27

              • Dances With Lasagna
                October 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm

                So funny! You people are krilling me!

                Thumb up Thumb down +43

                • Stretch65
                  October 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

                  Dont mock. The artist obviously put in a plankton of work on this piece.

                  Thumb up Thumb down +25

                  • lettucego
                    October 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm

                    It has my seal of approval.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +22

                    • luinar
                      October 5, 2012 at 6:01 pm

                      I think I’m tearing up. You beaches made me blubber!

                      Thumb up Thumb down +21

                    • BeezleBug
                      October 5, 2012 at 8:29 pm

                      They certainly want enough clams for it.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +15

                    • wasnr
                      October 5, 2012 at 11:45 pm

                      Seems a little dork-ish to me.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +5

                  • finklefairy
                    October 5, 2012 at 9:56 pm

                    That sands like a load of crap to me. I don’t sea a bit of talent here.

                    Thumb up Thumb down +11

                    • BeezleBug
                      October 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

                      I’d put it in my living room just for the halibut.

                      Thumb up Thumb down +13

      • The Grim Piddler
        October 6, 2012 at 6:30 am

        [cetacean needed]

        Thumb up Thumb down +47

    • aliceblue
      October 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm

      Just what kind of dorca makes a giant corpse the centerpiece of their room? It makes me blue to contemplate it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Bitcheslovecrafts
      October 6, 2012 at 8:46 pm

      I really, really like this. If loving this sculpture is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

      Thumb up Thumb down +7

  2. BadMiya
    October 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    This would be perfect in my kid’s room!

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

    • Stretch65
      October 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      Your kid has a blowhole?

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  3. marytylerwhore
    October 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

    might be awkward to have sex on that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +81

    • Stretch65
      October 5, 2012 at 7:28 pm

      you have a blowhole?

      Thumb up Thumb down +23

  4. startup
    October 5, 2012 at 3:05 pm

    I love the beauty and grace and majesty of these magnificent water-dwelling mammals. Especially when they’re dead.

    Thumb up Thumb down +96

    • almostamishagain
      October 5, 2012 at 7:51 pm

      The alive fish are fucking shaking in their scales in the tank in the background

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

  5. Petja-Herra
    October 5, 2012 at 3:06 pm

    I think I know what happens to my mother when she’s kicked the bucket …

    Thumb up Thumb down +128

    • finklefairy
      October 5, 2012 at 9:57 pm

      This is the most hilarious comment I have ever read.

      Thumb up Thumb down +9

  6. Zisrah
    October 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Well of course it’s dead! Those idiots took the sides off the tank and let all the water out.

    Thumb up Thumb down +190

  7. upscumbag
    October 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    Dying to know what the joke was that made the whale laugh so hard.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • larkaloo
      October 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

      Knowing this would happen.

      Thumb up Thumb down +10

  8. jaiejohnson
    October 5, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Poor willy couldn’t get up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

    • barky
      October 5, 2012 at 5:15 pm

      I hate it when that happens.

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  9. Cockamamie Jamie
    October 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    I don’t think I wanna be on the hook for $550.00, unless the seagull has some rotting flesh hanging from it’s beak.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  10. manybellsdown
    October 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Oooh I needed something to match my dolphin bookcases!

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  11. pearlheartgtr
    October 5, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    Little Willy Willy won’t go home.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  12. Petja-Herra
    October 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Remind me to tell you sometime herring smelling shoes. Now go to sleep.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  13. KingoftheKastle
    October 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    According to the size of the dorsal fin, this is a female. So it’s kind of crazy out of proportion in comparison to the tiny seagull.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

    • thebaconfairy
      October 5, 2012 at 4:34 pm

      it’s one of the species of giant orcas….OBVIOUSLY
      they circle the waters of Atlantis

      Thumb up Thumb down +13

  14. FMLWTF
    October 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    If I wanted to look at something dead under glass, I’d have my ex encased in a coffee table.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  15. LeeLooDallas
    October 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Moby Ick.

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

    • Zippy
      October 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Hey I just killed you
      And you were a whale
      But here’s my number
      So call me Ishmael

      Thumb up Thumb down +139

      • DammitJanet
        October 5, 2012 at 5:12 pm

        I love you so much. All the thumbs to you my friend.

        Thumb up Thumb down +10

  16. mutzali
    October 5, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Does this remind anyone else of the South Park episode where they freed an orca from a Sea World kinda place and launched him into space and sent him “home” to the moon?

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  17. lemon_bombs
    October 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    This goes with my deer-stuck-in-the-fence side table and lemming lap blanket.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  18. SoupSandwich
    October 5, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Sham-ewww.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

    • Zippy
      October 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      I Sea World what you did there.

      Thumb up Thumb down +17

    • Dances With Lasagna
      October 5, 2012 at 4:05 pm

      Killer play on words, there.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • marytylerwhore
        October 5, 2012 at 4:47 pm

        very well orca-strated.

        Thumb up Thumb down +26

  19. maryb1009
    October 5, 2012 at 4:02 pm

    “I had this idea to sculpt an Orca. When it was finished, it looked dead, so I went with it…”

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  20. Cthulhu Bloggs
    October 5, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    Does he do spot paintings?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  21. thecreightonberyl
    October 5, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Killer Deal.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  22. pearlheartgtr
    October 5, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Just reminded me of this:

    “I hate the ocean,” Snooki says. “It’s all whale sperm … Everybody Google it, because that’s why the water is salty, from the f––ing whale sperm.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  23. HiddenLowRating
    October 5, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    Must be fresh. No initials carved in the side and the PETA Drum Circle hasn’t shown up yet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  24. intensive porpoises
    October 5, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    The All You Can Eat Sushi Bar finally comes to Long John Silvers!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  25. bethymania
    October 5, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    In this shop, there is also a sculpture of King Kong ripping a Tyrannosaurus’s jaw apart (with attendant bloody gore). I wonder if the artist has talked to someone about these feelings he/she has been having.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  26. missy13d69
    October 5, 2012 at 8:02 pm

    I’ve been looking for something to depress everyone who comes to my house, and make them never want to come back. My search is over!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  27. The Blue Kraken
    October 5, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Just what we need to brighten our home. A completely depressing and morbid rendition of a beautiful animal dying in pain and suffering. It will go great with my hot pink flamingo kite hanging from the living room ceiling.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  28. Crinkapotamus
    October 5, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  29. oddartist
    October 5, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Did you see the flying monkeys? Why did I have to get laid off – I need $450. Now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  30. aliceblue
    October 5, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    Oooh so detailed. I wonder if there are mites on the seagull that is on the dead whale? That would REALLY make the piece special.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

    • Boss of Space
      October 6, 2012 at 8:49 am

      There’s a mite on the feather of the seagull on the whale that is dead in the tray at the bottom of the coffee table for sale on etsy?

      Thumb up Thumb down +19

  31. Glasgow
    October 5, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Fish heads fish heads
    Roly poly fish heads
    Fish heads fish heads
    Eat them up yum!

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  32. evilejfan
    October 6, 2012 at 3:28 am

    why is it that when i see this all i think of is “catbox”… who would have a big box of sand in their livingroom? mah kitteh would have a grand ole time with this!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  33. talulahgosh
    October 6, 2012 at 6:08 am

    drinking coffee and i nearly spit it on my computer. DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, WHY? i was almost thinking we were playing “etsy or regretsy?” but sadly it’s real.
    i DO need a coffee table though….

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  34. Danny Potter
    October 6, 2012 at 8:18 am

    I love reading his full description of the piece, In which he says “The table however is the really amazing story regarding this sculpture”. I’m somewhat disappointed that his initial vision WASN’T Feng shui.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  35. Boss of Space
    October 6, 2012 at 8:59 am

    The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table?

    (Heathers, I’m not just putting random words together.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  36. Problem
    October 6, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    I wish there was a way that the Pamela Anderson Mermaid sculpture could be substituted for the whale. I feel it would compliment my decor better. We need a “view it in a room” with the whale, mermaid, and dolphin bookshelves. Kind of a visual raping of the ocean.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  37. borborygmus
    October 6, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    The “beauty and majesty” kind of gets lost when it’s sitting underneath my Diet Dr. Pepper, a sleeve of crackers, and a can of EZ Cheese.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  38. Tante
    October 6, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    How much for just the sand?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

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