The watermark is my favorite. Somehow, I don’t think she needs to worry too much.
False advertising. Yep!
Also, how many times would you have to touch it before half that shits starts falling off? The phone vibrates for one call and it’s over:-p
Proof that you can still take a bunch of small pretty/ordinary things and make them into one big piece of shit.
I read that as “it is made with rhinestones, YAM, and feathers.” gotta love that kerning.
Ha! I read “yam” too…
Had to look up that word. And who said Regretsy never taught anyone anything besides how to be a lazy, jealous loser?
Well, the color would be just about right.
Needs more glue.
Step away from the glue gun and no one will get hurt!
Hasn’t anyone ever heard of gluing outside the lines? She’s a risk-taker!
It’s just given me a dream, of a world without dodgy handcrafts.
…a world in which people are judged not by the color of their skants, but by the contents of their bajingos!
All I really want is a content bajingo…
I’d like to have a part of me be the contents of someone’s bajingo. Occasionally, not permanently.
In my dream, Dances with Glue Guns took my iphone and bedazzled it with feathers and rhinestones from the clearance bin at Michael’s.
I’d like to know where that particularly awful shade of beige for the case was found….
Isn’t Etsy Latin for Clearance Bin at Michael’s?
Yes. Pig latin.
From the original form “esetrae”, which scholars of Michaelsian lore believe translates to “reset this aisle and make room for these damn holiday garlands!”
(Also within the lore is the origin of “reseller”: “eselerae”, which in olden tymes translated to “why does every other case of floral picks smell like a dead rat fell into the injection molding machine?”.)
My kid stepped on my glasses this morning and broke them in half.
I don’t know what you guys are talking about – this thing looks great!
At first glance I thought it was a bad rendering of an atom that was weeping sideburns. Close enough.
It’s an Orthodox Jewish atom with sidelocks.
It’s a single atom of Gefiltium, set in aspic.
My Uncle Murray can get you single atoms at mole-sale prices. Such a deal you have never seen!
That is a terrible, terrible deal. I know you’re trying to cheat me! I took a chemistry class once!
The perfect Robanukah gift!
I read that in my friend’s grandad’s voice, and it was so true to life for him.
Or a multi-cultural symbol for a radioactive hazzard?
I thought the same. The symbol of radioactivity from the fifties.
I love you guys so much.
May as well call your shirt pocket a ‘Dream Catcher’ Catcher now.
And a “Cake Topper”.
It looks like it’s pressed into a heapin’ helpin’ of Vaseline. Maybe that helps the catch dreams in the same way the sticky stuff on flypaper catches flies?
You know it’s going to catch a bunch of “those kinds” of dreams.
Maybe, maybe not. It could be a “nocturnal omission” dream-catcher.
Now I feel left out.
You want your own personal downthumber, too? They’re not as easy to get as you might think- you’ve gotta be REAL douchy.
A nocturnal omission is when you forget to masturbate before you fall asleep.
I wanted to start a paper-shredding company called Nocturnal Omissions that would go to office buildings at night and destroy sensitive/incriminating documents for them.
Coming up tonight on “Nocturnal Emission Impossible”…
Just the thing for the HopiPhone! I endorse this without reservations.
With 4G, I can go on a spirit quest just about anywhere, and still be on facebook!
I myself have Verizon. Oh, you said spirit, not Sprint.
Is a “Sprint Quest” where you roam around aimlessly looking for a signal?
ah, now it’s got a name!
“Sprint Quest” is for emergencies, for everyday aimless signal searching, there’s “T-Mobile Roaming.”
How do I know?
I’m not just a client, I’m a Fat, Jealous Loser!
Wishing you Rhinestone Dreams and Champale kisses, tune in next week to ‘Lifestyles of the poor and Obscure”
Just so I’m clear on this, that’s not a “case” in any definition of the word, right? It’s some sort of dollar-store cutting board with most of a dream-catcher glued to it, right?
Oh. I didn’t even realize it was supposed to be an iPhone case. I’m at the top of my game on Fridays, fuck yeah (can I start drinking yet?)!
I take back everything I’ve said about it. It’s an awesome product.
Absolutely, drink a whole case.
I guess when you own a phone with a pull-up antenna, you’re going to be a little out of touch with the iPhone world. Luckily, I’m not out of touch with the beer world. Unluckily, I have to go paint a house first. Boooooooooooooo.
When your dreams are made of yarn and plastic rhinestones, it’s time to wake up.
Catching dreams of an un-cracked screen.
Hmm… I made a faux stained glass porch light cover last year that looked about as professional as this. Silly me – I could have sold it for $20 instead of chucking it in the recycle bin.
“It’s beautifully done”….except for where it isn’t….
This piece is not finished. There is no glitter.
It all fell off.
At least quite a bit of the decorative glue blobs are visible. It just wouldn’t be the same if that other crap covered it all!
At least there is no doubt it was handmade.
Do monkeys have “hands”, you know, technically?
“Mostly”, I guess.
The lack of a circle (seems the start of a spiral) bothers me. Maybe it’s the aspie in my name.
DANG! I meant compass. Though protractor is a funnier word.
You could use the outside edge of a really small protractor. Then you wouldn’t have to poke the tiny hole in the middle of the circle and RUIN EVERYTHING.
But, but, but without the hole in the middle, how would one know where to cross the yarn and flamboyantly attach the last rhinestone with glitter glue?
The “artist” could have just traced the lid of one of his medicine bottles–since the drugs don’t seem to be otherwise helping.
I think the break in the circle is to leak all those bag drams its caught into the brain of the phone user.
And by being mobile, you can get a lot of bad dreams.
Or bag drams… wait, shouldn’t that be dram bags? Make sure they’re sealed bags, since dram is a measure of liquid volume.
That was way more than I intended to poke fun at, far more than a dram, but I couldn’t help myself.
What bothers me is that it’s not a proper dreamcatcher pattern. There’s a right way and a wrong way, and that thing is so very, very wrong.
Phone is the thing with feathers
That Tweets upon the air,
And sings the tune–with lots of glue,
That soon gets in your hair,
And dazzling on the street is seen;
And keeps your dreams from harm
It may not look like much, but dude:
It’s made with eldritch yarn!
It harks back to the chillest crafts,
And Native wares of yore;
Too bad that when you talk on it
You’re still a crashing bore.
You bust rhymes like Pamela Anderson busts a dress. But in a classier way!
Not only is it aesthetically unappealing, but those feathers would last about ten seconds if you put the phone into your purse or a pocket!
I got my first smart phone yesterday. My sons told me that I MUST get a case for it IMMEDIATELY, so I told them I wanted onw with unicorns and Hello Kitty and lots of sparkles!!!
I should have shown them this one.
They’re ironic hipsters, aren’t they?
Dreamcatchers? Really? Didn’t that fad die in 1995?
Sadly, no. It lives on like tie-dye. Blech.
Heh, I am heading out to donate some little used clothes including a tie-dye T-shit today.
Was “T-shit” intentional, or was it just a serendipitous typo?
Ah, or a call-back to the post from yesterday. Never mind. *Thumbs down self*
Yep, that’s what I meant, though my T-shit is normal looking not like that Coke fringe thing. Otherwise, I would obviously sell it for at least $15.00 rather than giving it away!
Step 1- Recognize Apple as the new Mother of Invention
Step 2- ????? (but make sure there’s some shiny!)
Step 3- Latch onto to Apple’s bounteous teat.
Step 4- PROFIT!!!
Latch onto Apple’s teat? Hey, we have a sock puppet that will demonstrate that …!
But…It’s a Dream Catcher…you need all that extra glue to catch the dreams….or else the dreams will fall off…
I’m a fool…I was makaing mine with Duct Tape! I could have used excessive amounts of elmers glue!
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Great, I love a cell phone case that now is useless because of the crap glued to crap. Does this nitwit with a glue gun realize that cell phones go in a pocket? What a Dream raper. *Coughs up feathers that went up nose*
What scares me the most are the slowly advancing pics.
I’ve gone up to rescroll down through the images about ten times now. The progression is just mesmerizing, like a four-frame suspense film with a twist ending.
“Dodgy handcrafts,” “Sprint quest,” “crashing bore,” and “bounteous teat” all in one comment section? I love you all.
“This dream-catcher won’t catch your dreams but the glue will!”
Forget gun control, I think the real issue here is glue gun control. Owners of glue guns should have a mandatory psychiatric evaluation before owning one.
THE CIRCLE!!! how fucking hard is it to use a compass or outline something. the graphic designer in me is screeching like a pterodactyl
It is made with rhinestones, yarn, feathers and lots and lots of glue. What disturbs me is that it is described as a ‘dream catcher case’. Before I realised that it was supposed to be an iphone case with a dream catcher on it, I thought it was a case for dream catchers. Please tell me she doesn’t have more of these hideous whatsits in that bilious cheese-coloured cover.
Glad I’m not the only one! I was wondering how many dreamcatchers you had to own before deciding you needed a special dreamcatcher case to store them in.
Kind of like Bag Hutch.
Does it come with a roll of toilet paper?
I’m pretty sure there can be some sort of cultural appropriation complaint made here.
Yeah, it’s pretty telling that this offensive piece of garbage was so poorly made that no one has mentioned appropriation until now despite the fact that the over-commercialization of dreamcatchers has pretty much ruined a once important symbol for many people (and not just for those in the Owobogo Nation but many American Indians have/had adopted it as a symbol of First Nations unity). Fuck this piece of shit.
Before actually seeing the photo, I was anxiously wondering what kind of market there is for dream catcher storage cases.
I actually could’ve used one, years ago. A friend of mine gave me a real dream catcher made by a local artist and I was thrilled. In moving out of my house at the time, it had to be packed, so into box it went. At the new house, I didn’t get to that box to unpack it for a while and when I did, some damn mouse had chewed three of the outer anchor knots loose.
The artist did a great job and knotted every everywhere the treads crossed – I still have the dream catcher and the rest of it’s holding strong after almost 20 years, but the mice could have been thwarted if only someone had invented the dream catcher case sooner.
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