I’m so confused; my sheltered existence has not prepared me for figuring out the mechanics of why a “lovely lady” who wants to show her “true colors” with a gay pride fanny purse would use it to keep…condoms.
To be fair, I take lots of brightly-coloured condoms to every LGBT event or bar to hand out to the younglings. There’s barely any actual sexual education happening with abstinence only as it is, and zero happening for the non-penis-in-vagina folks. The amount of sexual ignorance amongst the younger crowd, gay and straight, is terrifying.
A further question: can one actually “retire” from La Leche League? Isn’t one of the ideas that the child determines when to wean? Suppose the kid moves back in after college and wants a go at Mommy again?
Well, you retire from the organization. My mother is a retired LLL leader. None of us nursed past 3, though one brother sucked his thumb until 9. He is a genius, though, so maybe he was on to something.
Indeed. I’m a gay guy, so it’s not like I can harsh on people who like to suck things in adulthood. Maybe I can get someone to put a sweater on his willy and recreate this photo. Then again, thinking that my mouth could go that wide is just foolish ambition …
This is the teat that never ends
yes it goes on and on, my friend
some puppet started sucking it, a boob made out of fuzz
and she’ll continue knitting these forever just because
I am so glad I learned long ago not to eat or drink anything while reading thru the comments on blogs like Regretsy. I see your Lamb Chop song and raise you a Barney.
I hate you,
You hate me,
Let’s go out and kill Barney,
With a shotgun
Bang! Bang!
Barney’s on the floor.
No more purple dinosaur!
My Etsy shop is really really great
(FOR PORN)
I ship first class so you won’t have to wait
(FOR PORN)
My products are first rate
(FOR PORN)
So open up that crate
(FOR PORN)
Just make sure that it’s legal in your state
(FORRR PORRNNNN!!!)
It looks to me like a snake with a wig eating an white pumpkin stem first. In fact, that idea is less disturbing to me than knitting breastfeeding sock babies and a boob.
I work at a school for future Lactation Consultants. This is by no means the strangest thing I’ve seen. The sock pupet is a little weird, but from seeing the other tools they have, I could actually see this being a very useful tool. Weird, but effective.
Yes, since she’s gone, this site is in a foreign language for me. And I don’t mean English. I understand this persistent interest in sex and reproduction as so many words, but it’s utterly foreign. Aren’t at least some of us crafting because we are looking for something other than the mammal in humans? Or is that just the AVEN member in me speaking?
What?! Just Cheez-Nips made from blue cheese. But according to Urban Dictionary cheeze-nips are “when a red haired person has hair around their nipples”
Im trying to imagine how she uses her own breast as a visual aid without having the person shes teaching actually latch onto it… MY nursing coach never did that for me. Now Im trying to decide if Im creeped out or jealous…
I’m pretty sure that women have been figuring out how to nurse babies since the dawn of time, and without having to resort to sock puppets for instruction.
Maybe it’s because I don’t lactate, but…I was always under the impression that breastfeeding was pretty straightforward, and that you didn’t need a sock puppet and a detached boob to demonstrate where you put your nipple.
Its only recently I found out that lactating wasn’t a single stream coming out from the center of the nipple but more like a shower head with multiple streams at once. Regretsy becomes educational once again.
It’s straightforward for some moms and some babies. For others, not at all. The lady I nanny for had to pump breast milk and bottle-feed it to her baby because she never could get the kid to latch properly (not even with the aid of LLL). The baby would nurse, but the incorrect latch led to nipples with open bleeding blisters, and the mom wasn’t about to live with that.
Both the new mom and baby have to learn what will a) work, and b) be comfortable for both. You can’t just stuff a nipple in a newborn’s mouth–it will suck, but to get it to clamp on with most of the aureola in it’s mouth (so it doesn’t hurt the food source), takes both timing and practice before it becomes routine. And even if Mom is an old pro, the baby has never done this before, and has to learn. Add that you are trying to hold a wiggling 8 pound football in place for up to half an hour per side in the correct position to hang on without pulling a nipple off–sure, nothing to it!
This would fit in at my house. So far I’ve got a knitted uterus, a knitted and stuffed placenta and two knitted penises. One is, shall we say, bigger and firmer than the other. The breast would find itself at home but frankly I would not have the puppet if it came free with a pound of tea. I can cope with knitted genitalia but not knitted faces. That’s just obscene. It seems to have a tongue.
Also I’ve got a set of small knitted penises in red and green with blue balls for the Christmas tree. My great aunt, aged 87, knitted them for me. She was unstoppable.
My great aunt was a dancer (that’s her code for stripper) in London during WW2. With enough blackberry nip or creme de menthe inside her she’d go through her old routines. It brightened Christmas considerably.
I think anyone that has managed to have sex and give birth to a child shouldn’t be so prudish that they need a fucking childrens puppet to explain breastfeeding to them.
October 4, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Already gone?! Darn!!!
October 4, 2012 at 3:40 pm
They’re not available–but she has a rainbojingo for sale:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/102624756/gaypride-fanny-purse
October 4, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Hallelujah!!
October 4, 2012 at 4:05 pm
Clown Crotch Couture!
October 4, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I’m so confused; my sheltered existence has not prepared me for figuring out the mechanics of why a “lovely lady” who wants to show her “true colors” with a gay pride fanny purse would use it to keep…condoms.
October 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm
DIY dental dams or finger cots?
October 5, 2012 at 10:17 am
To be fair, I take lots of brightly-coloured condoms to every LGBT event or bar to hand out to the younglings. There’s barely any actual sexual education happening with abstinence only as it is, and zero happening for the non-penis-in-vagina folks. The amount of sexual ignorance amongst the younger crowd, gay and straight, is terrifying.
October 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm
“Rainbojingo” is such and awesome word it needs a spectrumulum to illustrate its awesomeness.
October 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm
I’ve always wanted a clown-wig merkin!
October 4, 2012 at 3:33 pm
I will never look at muppets the same way again.
October 4, 2012 at 4:28 pm
I immediately thought Shari Lewis and ventriloquism. The puppet looks like a combination of Lamb Chop and Charlie Horse
October 4, 2012 at 7:42 pm
This is the suck that doesn’t end…Yes it goes on and on, my friend…
October 4, 2012 at 11:26 pm
…or fetishist Mr. Fizzles?
October 4, 2012 at 8:23 pm
The real backstage story of the Kukla Fran and Ollie show. Who knew?
October 4, 2012 at 9:52 pm
Love It!
October 5, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Put it on Sesame Street and Mitt Romney can de-fund it!
October 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm
If your nipple turns blue, aren’t you doing it wrong? I’m wincing just looking at this.
October 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Wait ’til your boob starts to unravel…
October 4, 2012 at 4:59 pm
HMM, my dog’s next chew toy.
October 4, 2012 at 3:34 pm
But on the upside, she does note she sells fanny packs you can carry your condoms in.
October 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm
sounds like an oxymoron to me
October 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm
If actual nipple turns blue, carefully detach Snake Infant from breast and move to other side.
October 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm
A further question: can one actually “retire” from La Leche League? Isn’t one of the ideas that the child determines when to wean? Suppose the kid moves back in after college and wants a go at Mommy again?
October 4, 2012 at 3:40 pm
Maybe that’s when you buy them this puppet set…
October 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm
And now I’ve creeped myself out. It’s only noon, who knows where the day will lead!
October 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm
I’ve heard of the “Fuzzy Navel” drink, is a “Fuzzy Nipple” made with yarn, expired milk, and the despair of separation anxiety?
October 4, 2012 at 3:44 pm
A Buttery Nipple with added frozen breastmilk?
October 4, 2012 at 5:00 pm
and the tears of Chinese sweatshop workers.
October 4, 2012 at 3:47 pm
Well, you retire from the organization.
My mother is a retired LLL leader. None of us nursed past 3, though one brother sucked his thumb until 9. He is a genius, though, so maybe he was on to something. 
October 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Indeed. I’m a gay guy, so it’s not like I can harsh on people who like to suck things in adulthood.
Maybe I can get someone to put a sweater on his willy and recreate this photo. Then again, thinking that my mouth could go that wide is just foolish ambition …
October 4, 2012 at 3:54 pm
I sense a niche market for knitted ‘mouth training’ aids…
October 4, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Suppressing the gag reflex is never a bad thing. Otherwise it’s “Knit one, hurl two” …
October 4, 2012 at 3:58 pm
And they’re easily washable for beginners!
October 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm
There is nothing wrong with foolish ambition, Mitzi. We all need goals in life, and yours is better than most.
October 4, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Maybe after awhile the work just dries up.
October 4, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Tenemos Leche? (insert white mustache here)
October 4, 2012 at 4:41 pm
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October 4, 2012 at 10:03 pm
“BITTY! I want Bitty!”
October 5, 2012 at 12:43 am
I thought LLL was Milk in Milk out
NOBODY “retires”
October 4, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Shari Lewis meets Le Leche League, what could go wrong?
October 4, 2012 at 3:44 pm
This is the teat that never ends
yes it goes on and on, my friend
some puppet started sucking it, a boob made out of fuzz
and she’ll continue knitting these forever just because
October 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm
GAWD, I so hate you right now.
October 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 4, 2012 at 4:33 pm
I knew I wasn’t the only one…
When I’m drunk I sometimes ponder the intersection of ventriloquism and fellatio
October 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm
I can’t fap to this.
October 4, 2012 at 3:40 pm
You aren’t trying hard enough.
October 4, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Looks like an Avenue Q skit waiting to happen.
October 5, 2012 at 9:44 am
My Etsy shop is really really great
(FOR PORN)
I ship first class so you won’t have to wait
(FOR PORN)
My products are first rate
(FOR PORN)
So open up that crate
(FOR PORN)
Just make sure that it’s legal in your state
(FORRR PORRNNNN!!!)
October 5, 2012 at 11:40 am
I so love you right now.
October 4, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 4, 2012 at 3:42 pm
That baby’s going to have cotton mouth.
October 4, 2012 at 3:43 pm
Or a terrible case of plush.
October 4, 2012 at 8:17 pm
Or it will spend its formative years hacking up hairballs.
October 4, 2012 at 11:56 pm
It’ll have a particularly close kinship with the cat.
October 4, 2012 at 3:45 pm
As the daughter of a LLL leader, I remember the knit boobs, but the sock “baby” is just…special…
October 4, 2012 at 5:01 pm
in a short bus sort of way? or a Church Lady way?
October 4, 2012 at 11:56 pm
Short Lady Church Bus way.
Wait, I don’t think I did that right.
October 4, 2012 at 3:45 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33JsxFNgllY
October 4, 2012 at 6:37 pm
Sifl and Olly! Sifl and Olly show!
October 4, 2012 at 11:58 pm
Chester became Breaster.
October 4, 2012 at 3:48 pm
Ohmygawd! What happened to your baby?!
October 4, 2012 at 3:58 pm
It just has a stitch in it’s side.
October 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm
No need to cast it off. You can’t always gauge their looks at this stage.
October 4, 2012 at 4:15 pm
They all look a little warped when they’re that little.
October 4, 2012 at 4:16 pm
True – it’s sad how many get weft behind.
October 4, 2012 at 4:18 pm
(High Five!)
October 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Especially when they get shuttled around a lot.
October 4, 2012 at 9:54 pm
That’s how you know trouble is looming.
October 4, 2012 at 6:42 pm
love these little purls of wisdom, now S1K and K3tog.
October 4, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Lilo and Stitch: The Lactation
October 4, 2012 at 3:51 pm
It’s better than the Kermit the Frog puppet we used in nursing school.
October 4, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 4, 2012 at 3:55 pm
And puppets.
October 4, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Go Team Boobies!
October 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm
It looks to me like a snake with a wig eating an white pumpkin stem first. In fact, that idea is less disturbing to me than knitting breastfeeding sock babies and a boob.
October 4, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Boobie talk. Day made.
October 4, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Sifl’s sooo jealous right now.
October 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I work at a school for future Lactation Consultants. This is by no means the strangest thing I’ve seen. The sock pupet is a little weird, but from seeing the other tools they have, I could actually see this being a very useful tool. Weird, but effective.
October 5, 2012 at 5:50 am
This would have pushed me over the edge when I was pregnant….
October 4, 2012 at 4:22 pm
The Fran and Ollie tape Burr Tillstrom hoped would never surface.
October 4, 2012 at 11:15 pm
Even Hulk Hogan has a sex tape out nowadays. Please don’t let there be one featuring Miss Yvonne and Chairie
October 5, 2012 at 12:05 pm
They were young. They needed the work…
October 4, 2012 at 4:48 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm
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October 5, 2012 at 6:29 am
Does it have something to do with “by Crochet Guevara” underneath the title?
October 5, 2012 at 7:39 am
I assumed it was the STRANGEST BONER that clued TallandGassy in. Then again, Helen did have them from time to time.
October 5, 2012 at 9:21 am
Helen would have said “lady boner”. She’s dainty like that.
October 5, 2012 at 9:26 am
That’s what I thought too, Angel.
I gave Tall the benefit of the doubt – I think they were making a joke about the boner thing.
October 4, 2012 at 4:49 pm
I’m from Nova Scotia – we’re referred to as Bluenosers except for my mother “Bluenipples” who posed for this piece.
October 4, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Bra-vo to her!
October 5, 2012 at 9:49 am
I “C” what you did there.
October 4, 2012 at 9:56 pm
It can get pretty nippy up there, I hear.
October 4, 2012 at 5:00 pm
I should be a lot more mature than this, but… BLUE NIPPS!!
October 4, 2012 at 11:21 pm
What?! Just Cheez-Nips made from blue cheese. But according to Urban Dictionary cheeze-nips are “when a red haired person has hair around their nipples”
October 5, 2012 at 5:52 am
Something I didn’t need to know….
October 4, 2012 at 5:21 pm
Im trying to imagine how she uses her own breast as a visual aid without having the person shes teaching actually latch onto it… MY nursing coach never did that for me. Now Im trying to decide if Im creeped out or jealous…
October 4, 2012 at 5:54 pm
Finally a post worthy enough for me to shout at the top of my lungs, “TITTERS MILK!” B
October 4, 2012 at 11:23 pm
I definitely find this posting titillating
October 4, 2012 at 6:01 pm
I’m pretty sure that women have been figuring out how to nurse babies since the dawn of time, and without having to resort to sock puppets for instruction.
October 4, 2012 at 6:22 pm
It’s more difficult than one would think.
But the puppet might have gone alittle off track.
October 4, 2012 at 6:54 pm
I’ve heard of Tit for Tat, but, really; Tatted Tit?
October 4, 2012 at 11:25 pm
“Tits for two and two for tits
Nips when blue get all the quips”
October 4, 2012 at 7:48 pm
So, dipping your tit in blue kool-aid is the secret to successful nursing? Why didn’t I think of that?
October 4, 2012 at 11:26 pm
Doesn’t really work but the Kool-Aid dude starts stalking you…
October 5, 2012 at 12:41 am
Oh YEAH!!!
October 5, 2012 at 5:53 am
Oh NO – naughty naughty Kool Aid Man…..
October 4, 2012 at 8:46 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 4, 2012 at 11:30 pm
Its only recently I found out that lactating wasn’t a single stream coming out from the center of the nipple but more like a shower head with multiple streams at once. Regretsy becomes educational once again.
October 5, 2012 at 7:52 am
It’s straightforward for some moms and some babies. For others, not at all. The lady I nanny for had to pump breast milk and bottle-feed it to her baby because she never could get the kid to latch properly (not even with the aid of LLL). The baby would nurse, but the incorrect latch led to nipples with open bleeding blisters, and the mom wasn’t about to live with that.
October 5, 2012 at 11:57 pm
Both the new mom and baby have to learn what will a) work, and b) be comfortable for both. You can’t just stuff a nipple in a newborn’s mouth–it will suck, but to get it to clamp on with most of the aureola in it’s mouth (so it doesn’t hurt the food source), takes both timing and practice before it becomes routine. And even if Mom is an old pro, the baby has never done this before, and has to learn. Add that you are trying to hold a wiggling 8 pound football in place for up to half an hour per side in the correct position to hang on without pulling a nipple off–sure, nothing to it!
October 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm
Dammit Crochet, yesterday afternoon’s was full of crap but this one sucks!
October 4, 2012 at 10:38 pm
This would fit in at my house. So far I’ve got a knitted uterus, a knitted and stuffed placenta and two knitted penises. One is, shall we say, bigger and firmer than the other. The breast would find itself at home but frankly I would not have the puppet if it came free with a pound of tea. I can cope with knitted genitalia but not knitted faces. That’s just obscene. It seems to have a tongue.
Also I’ve got a set of small knitted penises in red and green with blue balls for the Christmas tree. My great aunt, aged 87, knitted them for me. She was unstoppable.
October 4, 2012 at 11:23 pm
Your family sounds fun!
October 5, 2012 at 12:13 am
My great aunt was a dancer (that’s her code for stripper) in London during WW2. With enough blackberry nip or creme de menthe inside her she’d go through her old routines. It brightened Christmas considerably.
October 5, 2012 at 5:55 am
I am so jealous. My grandma is merely a racist Polish Roman Catholic.
October 5, 2012 at 4:28 am
“I can cope with knitted genitalia but not knitted faces. That’s just obscene.”
Best quotation of the day.
October 5, 2012 at 9:25 am
That’s a lot of knitted body parts. Dr. “Frakenskein” I presume?
October 5, 2012 at 12:30 pm
Pics, or it didn’t happen!
October 5, 2012 at 1:01 am
Hi. Straight Guy here.
I think I found my Halloween costume.
Need a “Learn Ventriloquism in 5 Easy Steps” book. (for the boob)
October 5, 2012 at 5:56 am
The fluff of hair on the “baby” is a nice touch…..I guess it’s better than a fluff of hair on the nipple, eh?
October 5, 2012 at 7:00 am
I think anyone that has managed to have sex and give birth to a child shouldn’t be so prudish that they need a fucking childrens puppet to explain breastfeeding to them.
October 5, 2012 at 9:48 am
You know, it’s just really sad. This is what happens when Sesame Street loses funding.
CURSE YOU ROMNEY!!!
October 5, 2012 at 11:03 am
I laughed so hard I farted.
October 5, 2012 at 10:15 am
If my newborn’s mouth were the size of my hand, he’s have no trouble with latching on.
October 5, 2012 at 12:13 pm
This is on the Beanie And Cecil outtake reel.
October 5, 2012 at 12:23 pm
“A Bob Clampett cartooooooooon”
October 5, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Also, nothing helps with let down more than a puppet show!
October 6, 2012 at 2:20 pm
“Lip flange?” Isn’t that something you get in a hardware store?
October 15, 2012 at 8:46 am
That’s creepy. Something like that you can figure out by yourself.