I HAVE THE STRANGEST BONER RIGHT NOW
Already gone?! Darn!!!
They’re not available–but she has a rainbojingo for sale:
Clown Crotch Couture!
I’m so confused; my sheltered existence has not prepared me for figuring out the mechanics of why a “lovely lady” who wants to show her “true colors” with a gay pride fanny purse would use it to keep…condoms.
DIY dental dams or finger cots?
To be fair, I take lots of brightly-coloured condoms to every LGBT event or bar to hand out to the younglings. There’s barely any actual sexual education happening with abstinence only as it is, and zero happening for the non-penis-in-vagina folks. The amount of sexual ignorance amongst the younger crowd, gay and straight, is terrifying.
“Rainbojingo” is such and awesome word it needs a spectrumulum to illustrate its awesomeness.
I’ve always wanted a clown-wig merkin!
I will never look at muppets the same way again.
I immediately thought Shari Lewis and ventriloquism. The puppet looks like a combination of Lamb Chop and Charlie Horse
This is the suck that doesn’t end…Yes it goes on and on, my friend…
…or fetishist Mr. Fizzles?
The real backstage story of the Kukla Fran and Ollie show. Who knew?
Put it on Sesame Street and Mitt Romney can de-fund it!
If your nipple turns blue, aren’t you doing it wrong? I’m wincing just looking at this.
Wait ’til your boob starts to unravel…
HMM, my dog’s next chew toy.
But on the upside, she does note she sells fanny packs you can carry your condoms in.
sounds like an oxymoron to me
If actual nipple turns blue, carefully detach Snake Infant from breast and move to other side.
A further question: can one actually “retire” from La Leche League? Isn’t one of the ideas that the child determines when to wean? Suppose the kid moves back in after college and wants a go at Mommy again?
Maybe that’s when you buy them this puppet set…
And now I’ve creeped myself out. It’s only noon, who knows where the day will lead!
I’ve heard of the “Fuzzy Navel” drink, is a “Fuzzy Nipple” made with yarn, expired milk, and the despair of separation anxiety?
A Buttery Nipple with added frozen breastmilk?
and the tears of Chinese sweatshop workers.
Well, you retire from the organization. My mother is a retired LLL leader. None of us nursed past 3, though one brother sucked his thumb until 9. He is a genius, though, so maybe he was on to something.
Indeed. I’m a gay guy, so it’s not like I can harsh on people who like to suck things in adulthood. Maybe I can get someone to put a sweater on his willy and recreate this photo. Then again, thinking that my mouth could go that wide is just foolish ambition …
I sense a niche market for knitted ‘mouth training’ aids…
Suppressing the gag reflex is never a bad thing. Otherwise it’s “Knit one, hurl two” …
And they’re easily washable for beginners!
There is nothing wrong with foolish ambition, Mitzi. We all need goals in life, and yours is better than most.
Maybe after awhile the work just dries up.
Tenemos Leche? (insert white mustache here)
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At this age, it’s more like pucker lipstick. *double-retch*
“BITTY! I want Bitty!”
I thought LLL was Milk in Milk out
Shari Lewis meets Le Leche League, what could go wrong?
This is the teat that never ends
yes it goes on and on, my friend
some puppet started sucking it, a boob made out of fuzz
and she’ll continue knitting these forever just because
GAWD, I so hate you right now.
I am so glad I learned long ago not to eat or drink anything while reading thru the comments on blogs like Regretsy. I see your Lamb Chop song and raise you a Barney.
I hate you,
You hate me,
Let’s go out and kill Barney,
With a shotgun
Barney’s on the floor.
No more purple dinosaur!
I knew I wasn’t the only one…
When I’m drunk I sometimes ponder the intersection of ventriloquism and fellatio
I can’t fap to this.
You aren’t trying hard enough.
Looks like an Avenue Q skit waiting to happen.
My Etsy shop is really really great
I ship first class so you won’t have to wait
My products are first rate
So open up that crate
Just make sure that it’s legal in your state
I so love you right now.
1. Caress the breast
2. Suck the breast
3. OH!!! SWEET JESUS!!! I’M COMING!!!!!!
That baby’s going to have cotton mouth.
Or a terrible case of plush.
Or it will spend its formative years hacking up hairballs.
It’ll have a particularly close kinship with the cat.
As the daughter of a LLL leader, I remember the knit boobs, but the sock “baby” is just…special…
in a short bus sort of way? or a Church Lady way?
Short Lady Church Bus way.
Wait, I don’t think I did that right.
Sifl and Olly! Sifl and Olly show!
Chester became Breaster.
Ohmygawd! What happened to your baby?!
It just has a stitch in it’s side.
No need to cast it off. You can’t always gauge their looks at this stage.
They all look a little warped when they’re that little.
True – it’s sad how many get weft behind.
Especially when they get shuttled around a lot.
That’s how you know trouble is looming.
love these little purls of wisdom, now S1K and K3tog.
Lilo and Stitch: The Lactation
It’s better than the Kermit the Frog puppet we used in nursing school.
Boobs are for babies.
Go Team Boobies!
It looks to me like a snake with a wig eating an white pumpkin stem first. In fact, that idea is less disturbing to me than knitting breastfeeding sock babies and a boob.
Boobie talk. Day made.
Sifl’s sooo jealous right now.
I work at a school for future Lactation Consultants. This is by no means the strangest thing I’ve seen. The sock pupet is a little weird, but from seeing the other tools they have, I could actually see this being a very useful tool. Weird, but effective.
This would have pushed me over the edge when I was pregnant….
The Fran and Ollie tape Burr Tillstrom hoped would never surface.
Even Hulk Hogan has a sex tape out nowadays. Please don’t let there be one featuring Miss Yvonne and Chairie
They were young. They needed the work…
I can tell that Helen isn’t the one who is writing right now….Cant tell how I know. Just that I know.
Yes, since she’s gone, this site is in a foreign language for me. And I don’t mean English. I understand this persistent interest in sex and reproduction as so many words, but it’s utterly foreign. Aren’t at least some of us crafting because we are looking for something other than the mammal in humans? Or is that just the AVEN member in me speaking?
Does it have something to do with “by Crochet Guevara” underneath the title?
I assumed it was the STRANGEST BONER that clued TallandGassy in. Then again, Helen did have them from time to time.
Helen would have said “lady boner”. She’s dainty like that.
That’s what I thought too, Angel.
I gave Tall the benefit of the doubt – I think they were making a joke about the boner thing.
I’m from Nova Scotia – we’re referred to as Bluenosers except for my mother “Bluenipples” who posed for this piece.
Bra-vo to her!
I “C” what you did there.
It can get pretty nippy up there, I hear.
I should be a lot more mature than this, but… BLUE NIPPS!!
What?! Just Cheez-Nips made from blue cheese. But according to Urban Dictionary cheeze-nips are “when a red haired person has hair around their nipples”
Something I didn’t need to know….
Im trying to imagine how she uses her own breast as a visual aid without having the person shes teaching actually latch onto it… MY nursing coach never did that for me. Now Im trying to decide if Im creeped out or jealous…
Finally a post worthy enough for me to shout at the top of my lungs, “TITTERS MILK!” B
I definitely find this posting titillating
I’m pretty sure that women have been figuring out how to nurse babies since the dawn of time, and without having to resort to sock puppets for instruction.
It’s more difficult than one would think.
But the puppet might have gone alittle off track.
I’ve heard of Tit for Tat, but, really; Tatted Tit?
“Tits for two and two for tits
Nips when blue get all the quips”
So, dipping your tit in blue kool-aid is the secret to successful nursing? Why didn’t I think of that?
Doesn’t really work but the Kool-Aid dude starts stalking you…
Oh NO – naughty naughty Kool Aid Man…..
Maybe it’s because I don’t lactate, but…I was always under the impression that breastfeeding was pretty straightforward, and that you didn’t need a sock puppet and a detached boob to demonstrate where you put your nipple.
Its only recently I found out that lactating wasn’t a single stream coming out from the center of the nipple but more like a shower head with multiple streams at once. Regretsy becomes educational once again.
It’s straightforward for some moms and some babies. For others, not at all. The lady I nanny for had to pump breast milk and bottle-feed it to her baby because she never could get the kid to latch properly (not even with the aid of LLL). The baby would nurse, but the incorrect latch led to nipples with open bleeding blisters, and the mom wasn’t about to live with that.
Both the new mom and baby have to learn what will a) work, and b) be comfortable for both. You can’t just stuff a nipple in a newborn’s mouth–it will suck, but to get it to clamp on with most of the aureola in it’s mouth (so it doesn’t hurt the food source), takes both timing and practice before it becomes routine. And even if Mom is an old pro, the baby has never done this before, and has to learn. Add that you are trying to hold a wiggling 8 pound football in place for up to half an hour per side in the correct position to hang on without pulling a nipple off–sure, nothing to it!
Dammit Crochet, yesterday afternoon’s was full of crap but this one sucks!
This would fit in at my house. So far I’ve got a knitted uterus, a knitted and stuffed placenta and two knitted penises. One is, shall we say, bigger and firmer than the other. The breast would find itself at home but frankly I would not have the puppet if it came free with a pound of tea. I can cope with knitted genitalia but not knitted faces. That’s just obscene. It seems to have a tongue.
Also I’ve got a set of small knitted penises in red and green with blue balls for the Christmas tree. My great aunt, aged 87, knitted them for me. She was unstoppable.
Your family sounds fun!
My great aunt was a dancer (that’s her code for stripper) in London during WW2. With enough blackberry nip or creme de menthe inside her she’d go through her old routines. It brightened Christmas considerably.
I am so jealous. My grandma is merely a racist Polish Roman Catholic.
“I can cope with knitted genitalia but not knitted faces. That’s just obscene.”
Best quotation of the day.
That’s a lot of knitted body parts. Dr. “Frakenskein” I presume?
Pics, or it didn’t happen!
Hi. Straight Guy here.
I think I found my Halloween costume.
Need a “Learn Ventriloquism in 5 Easy Steps” book. (for the boob)
The fluff of hair on the “baby” is a nice touch…..I guess it’s better than a fluff of hair on the nipple, eh?
I think anyone that has managed to have sex and give birth to a child shouldn’t be so prudish that they need a fucking childrens puppet to explain breastfeeding to them.
You know, it’s just really sad. This is what happens when Sesame Street loses funding.
CURSE YOU ROMNEY!!!
I laughed so hard I farted.
If my newborn’s mouth were the size of my hand, he’s have no trouble with latching on.
This is on the Beanie And Cecil outtake reel.
“A Bob Clampett cartooooooooon”
Also, nothing helps with let down more than a puppet show!
“Lip flange?” Isn’t that something you get in a hardware store?
That’s creepy. Something like that you can figure out by yourself.
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