They’ve been writing themselves for centuries
you are getting me in trouble at work!
DAMN!! You beat me to it!
I chose Robbie Burns as my poet for a poetry unit in high school just so I could stand up and read this poem outloud in class.
I am not alone!
Short story-a snippet if you will from work.
Had to tell our insurance person our bank info.
My voice apparently quivered when I said Big Beaver road.(I tried really hard to keep it together)
Insurance person noticed and luckily we had a laugh.
I simply cannot use muff in the traditional sense anymore.
OMG, you must be a Michigander! I remember always thinking that the civil engineers must have been a humorous bunch. The 75 takes some pretty wide curves to make sure that the exit to Big Beaver Rd is exit 69. (Seriously!)
We named our cat Muff. After a kitty in a children’s book. I never put two and two together until just now and realized that we named out pussy Muff. And the cat is 9 years old.
You could also call your muff Pussy just to even things out.
See also: Beaver Dick Park in Madison County, Idaho.
It was quite fun attending BYU-I in Rexburg and having church parties at Beaver Dick park.
ah, you’ve like driven the I-15 north through Utah through Fillmore->Virgin->Beaver All the way home to Provo!
I start a new job at Nike next week in Beaverton Oregon. Also, Oregon State University – Go Beav’s!
My wife’s aunt lives on Beaver River Road, near us.
My Dad has an old sign for “Beaver Cherries”.
Congrats on the job, Zip!
Yikes! It was a “bait and swoosh – I mean switch”! I just heard it’s not starting next week after all. It might start later but for now, the search continues…
That’s awful. On the bright side, at least you don’t have to live in Beaverton.
It’s funny because I’m from Bend.
I wouldn’t move out there from Portland! Because http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yTgMf1cOcQ
Portland is truly the capital of whimsicle fuckery.
Come for the whimsical fuckery. Stay because you missed your flight.
I’ve lost count of how many times the “bait and switch” has happened to me in the job hunt. Shitty times, indeed. People (employers) just don’t give a shit anymore. One company strung me along for 4 months, then just stopped communication out of nowhere. No reason, just vanished.
Parents can be so mean!
Yikes, that sucks ass.
I’m on the job hunt too. Know exactly what you mean!
I will be on the job hunt shortly, when my seasonal job closes for the winter and early spring. I’m dreading it.
There seems to be a market for writing stupid shit on the internet but supply exceeds demand.
Best of luck!
The EI system is the most stressful for me right now (I’m in Canada.) It’s my first time on it. Scary like hell.
Yikes. Best of luck to you too.
You are all some really thoughtful fuckers. May we all find fulfilling methods of generating income that is commiserate with our aptitudes or at least has unrestricted internet access.
I went from zero to 12 hours of work a day recently so congratulations and here’s hoping yours is an 8 hour a day job.
You sound like you work in the culinary industry.
Heh heh heh. You said Beaverton.
Hey, you live near me! Congrats on the new job.
I go to Oregon State. In high school, we were the cougars. And now I’m a beaver.
There’s a sign near the school that advertises “bare beaver waxing”. It means exactly what it sounds like it means.
Sadly I didn’t know the slang term “beaver” until college… I grew up in Hillsboro (OR) and had friends who lived in Beaverton… and attended Beaverton HS, whose mascot was… the Beavers. We would’ve had a heyday making fun of them, if only we’d known.
Ah, missed opportunities. *sniff*
“sniff” no pun intended?
(give me a break, it’s my birthday)
two of my nieces were born in Beaverton–you pass Dike access road on the way to Seattle.
Big Bone Lick state park, KY
(yes KY thats where Jellystone park is too)
Mere miles away from Beaverlick, KY, where Beaver meets Dickerson.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Those southern folk sure think about sex a lot. I guess you have to to be thinkin’ about poking your cousin Sue Ann.
The botanical gardens at UC Santa Cruz have a very nice bench dedicated in the name of Harry Beaver. Everybody wants to pose there for pictures.
I went to Arcadia University. Formerly Beaver College.
It was an all-girls school at the time, too.
My aunt used to live in Beaver PA.
See also: Dick Beaver Park in Washougal, Washington
Next time you’re in Australia, come to see me in Tittybong. It’s not all that far from Delicate Knob but a fair drive from Mount Buggery.
Is it true that people from Mt. Buggery tend to be a pain in the ass?
At least they photographed it with someone’s hands in it. That’s a roomy muff!
the gay man in me is like… “mmmm hand muff fabulosity…” then the gay man in me is like… “hands… in a beaver…” and then I have to vomit.
This gay man in you has way too many things on his mind, babe. He needs to pay attention to YOU. I hear an attack of “you go girl” music coming on, starting with Des’ree …
he’s kind of a multitasker like that… and no no… it’s the new P!nk album interspersed with Robyn and Boy George…
Yeah I can’t buy this I would loose my “Gold Star” staus and all my gay bear friends would shun me.
When bears say they like furry things, they really need to be more specific.
What’s scary are the ones that are also furries we had one at the bar last party they threw. oddly his furry persona is not a bear… and yes he came to the bar in full costume with access flaps
LOL “some of my best friends” are bears who are also furries. And yup. Scary.
you had me at “Bear”…
He said “hands… in a beaver…”
Don’t forget, BEAVERS HAVE TEETH! Quite dangerous, you know. Thankfully, they DO care more than Honey Badgers.
it’s like some god awful beaver dentata!… chomp chomp chomp
But it has a buckle; that be dangerous on delicate parts.
the least hairy beaver muff I’ve seen on Etsy to date
and we’ve seen a few…
I heard beaver muffs are really warm. Never been inside one myself though.
Unless you were decanted from a test tube, I beg to differ.
I know for a fact I have never had my hands in a beaver muff.
Wait…nevermind. There was that experimental phase in college.
Well, I retract my first statement.
Been hanging around with politicians too much, sorry!
Coming soon from Flesh Light the new furry beaver sleeve cover
Chinesereseller was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped?
*gasps* A man not of woman born! Beware, Mac*censored*!
You can’t tell he was born cesarean, until he leaves the room by climbing out the window.
Not a Brazilian beaver, I take it.
that would be a capybara, I believe.
Now THOSE are big beaver muffs.
I stayed at this wild game ranch in West Texas one time, and they had a HERD of Capybaras. They came over this hill to go to a watering hole, and scared the shit out of me. I had no idea what they were. I could’ve ridden one they were so big.
City Slicker! I bet they were buffalo. Or maybe snipe.
Googled it. Holy shit! Those things look like guinea pigs on steroids!
The world’s largest rodent. They’re crazy huge. No joke- I saw a herd of them.
I believe a group of capybaras is called a “queraptan”. As in; “Now that is one queraptan of capys! We’re gonna need a bigger llama.”
Went to look out for capybaras and found this beaut:
See??? Now picture like 35 of them running toward you. That was my experience.
They’re good eatin’ too.
Madre de Dios!
I would file this under dead things and/or vaginas.
I’d rather be under a vagina than a dead thing. (Almost wrote “then’ by mistake, which would have altered the meaning.)
Anyone getting Fran from American Dad in their heads? Who fired the Gardener?
Haven’t seen one like that since the late 70′s.
We can pelt this with criticism but let’s remember our dam manners.
Rudeness is hairily necessary.
But my sarcastic side is definitely gnawing at me.
I gnaw, right?
Which of our duplicate comments will they chews?
Wood it change your reaction?
Either way, we should always stick together. Solidarity, Zip.
I wish to lodge a complaint.
I’m sorry you fell that way.
Stop your (beaver) dam arguing!
A Two Fisted Muff, no less!
always a day late and a dollar short. I need to be more original. Or faster.
PBCGE- it’s not about being the FIRST to have a two fisted muff. It’s an accomplishment just to have one.
The fleece lining seems to asking for trouble though. Fleas?
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say this was just another Etsy advertisement for a bracelet.
I wonder if they will shave design in it for customers? You know, hearts or arrows or a little landing strip.
Maybe they could add a “tramp stamp” on the backside, too.
Save money! Buy your own Swarovski crystals and vajazzle the stuffing out of it!
Just BARELY avoided spitting my tea all over my screen. Thanks a lot, Regretsy. /floooooounce
Well, what kinds of furry things do you jam your hands in Finland? And do they have adjustable straps?
*…in, in Finland…* I’m a bad example of good English.
We call a woman’s private area a “beaver” and also sometimes a “muff”. Dirty minded people also, whenever we hear the word “strap”, think of the dildos women (mostly lesbians) strap on to the front of their pelvis to fuck someone with.
Zip- can I have your Mom’s number? It’s for a friend.
Whoops, sorry Kat. My mom’s handle is Kunt and there’s a pussy in the picture but…You know, never mind.
Thanks for covering for me.
We call the pussy “mirri”, which means the (young) cat.
Well… I have a long-length winter gloves, and have cat fur on the inside.
I sometimes ask guys, put these in your hand.
Then I take a photo.
- “Ok. Now I have a photograph that you’re putting your hand (in gloves),
have both hands on the forearm unfamiliar mirri! ‘
Finnish it may also comprise that you have found the hand work, both hands inside pussy.
The parachute buckle is definitely the most important part! .. No one should use their Beaver Muff without one. I should know.
A fall from great heights without a parachute is sure death for a beaver muff.
Again with the duplicates! That puts the whole “great minds think alike” crap to rest, doesn’t it.
Idiots like us think alike, too, I guess.
The parachute buckle is a critical feature for sky muff diving.
One, two, buckle your cooch
Three, four, don’t be a whore
Five, six, warm up your dicks
Seven, eight, as long as they’re straight …
I’m just really upset that, as a muff owner for well over 40 years, this is the first I’ve discovered that I had the option to buckle it closed.
I’m not sure. I don’t trust etsy. Last time I bought a beaver muff, it turned out to be a muskrat gauntlet….
I bought one, and it ended up being faux-beaver. I think it came from Pamela Anderson originally.
Looks like Muskrat Hate.
I got a Nutria glove and it was fleas lined.
I would’ve been like “Rats!”.
Why you little minks!
Sorry, my Ferrets Syndrome is acting up.
It’s always the same mole excuses with you, isn’t it Zip?
Shrew you guys, I’m going home.
You’d make quite the sight if you rodent-to town wearing this!
You guys are posting on burrowed time!
We’ll claw our way out of this. We always do.
Nutra gloves? I’ll just stick to my trusty feather jerboa.
I understand the beaver muff but I’m a little confused by the beaver bag.
I don’t know what social circles you run in, but it’s considered low-class to call a uterus a “beaver bag”. Especially on a first date.
Damn, is that why people tell me they “can’t take me anywhere”? It was totally normal back home in the barn growing up.
Yak, yak, yak.
It was on this day that the beavers who lived in the Dam found out what the White Queen meant when she threated to Muff up their lives for helping the Sons of Adam and daughters of Eve escape…
Aww, quit your fauning over ~, Mr. Tumnus.
You Mutton be caught without a pair of Satyr Skants…
Out of lurk mode to grab this fancy name. Wouldn’t have thought this would be my intro post but *shrugs* I can dive with some muff.
I met a women dressed like that and said “What’s with the get-up, yak hunt?” and she slapped the shit out of me!!!
same thing happened to me in mexico hunting elk. talk about surprised!
Don’t search Google for Sheared Beaver with safe search off. Specially if you’re at work…
Well now I just have to.
I went to a store to buy one of these recently and the clerk insisted they just sell shoes.
Prefer a Bald Eagle to a Beaver Muff.
Once, an older male acquaintance of mine tried to convince me to go on a beaver safari after having attended a particularly successful one himself. I got to put all of my smile suppression practice to good use.
Also, I resisted the temptation to tell him I can see a beaver anytime I want.
Reminds me of when I was around 11-years old and got taken to the doctors with a sick stomach, only to be diagnosed with what’s commonly known as Beaver Fever.
In the car on the way home, I expressed my excitement about having such a funny named bug, “I can’t wait to go back to school and tell all my friends that I have beaver fever!!”
As if my dad’s relationship with his budding pubescent daughter weren’t awkward enough, he then had to try and explain to me in such an intensely uncomfortable way that only a dad can, why this wasn’t such a great idea…
“Uhmm… ‘beaver’ is another name for a woman’s… uhhm… reproductive – uhm – her vagina, that is to say… just… don’t tell people you’ve got beaver fever…”
Longest, most painful car ride of my life. I’ve never been so grateful for 3AW (Australian talk-back radio program which helped fill the agonising silence) as I was that day…
What happens ‘down under’ stays down under.
Technically isn’t this listing redundant? Kind of like a phallic penis?
Since I’m a lazy fuck and didn’t bother to read the other comments, this might have already been addressed: these things are a great place to hide a switch blade or brass knuckles. Just sayin’
Get with the times! What about a Wifi hotspot and a battery backup? Talk about access!
I’m a luddite.
I was thinking formal wear tote for a burrito from La Cumbre…
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