Thinking of some of the folks I’ve dated, that would actually have been a very romantic admission – it’s tough to make a greater impression on a geek than their obsessions.
“Well, doctor, I guess the problem started around our last anniversary. We exchanged gifts as usual, but I got the feeling Jerry was trying to tell me something…”
I’m a longtime reader but first time poster. I just want to say (without sounding too much like a kiss ass lol) that you guys are geniuses! I’m afraid my snark isn’t gonna be up to par =(
October 3, 2012 at 4:02 pm
See that dark, twisted part of my heart? That’s where my love for you resides, my darling. Wanna make out?
October 3, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Baby, I love you so much, I’d let you spit your chaw all over my heart.
October 3, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Does he do spleens? I want a ruptured spleen wooden wall sculpture.
October 3, 2012 at 10:45 pm
better be specific in that custom item request. are we talking blunt trauma, hemangiosarcoma, splenic torsion…
well, never mind. it was just going to be a blob covered in tar anyway.
October 3, 2012 at 4:03 pm
Zombie love is a many rotted thing.
October 3, 2012 at 4:03 pm
“Perfect for smokers!”
“very Kool to me.”
Complete with cigarette advertising embedded in the listing.
October 3, 2012 at 4:03 pm
I only give gifts to myself after I’ve cheated on me.
October 3, 2012 at 4:04 pm
If necrosis is death of tissue, is this what “necromancer” really means?
October 3, 2012 at 4:04 pm
This is what happens to your heart after too much red meat and vodka.
The more you know.
October 3, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Throw in a few hungry maggots and you have a sale!
October 3, 2012 at 4:53 pm
or throw in some termites and time it perfectly to match the signing date of your divorce papers
October 3, 2012 at 4:12 pm
What better way is there to say “Our marraige is rotting on the inside”, than with a diseased wooden heart carving?
October 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I hope this guy doesn’t carve erotica. If this is how he represents the heart, imagine what he’d do to a set of genitals.
October 3, 2012 at 4:27 pm
“My love for you is a blackened, festering wound in my heart. Wanna see?”
I actually really like this. But I think they need to do other organs, too. I want a rotting brain. They could even make it out of barnwood!
October 3, 2012 at 4:30 pm
I can almost read the card that goes along with this. “Honey, I love you more than I love The Walking Dead.”
October 3, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Thinking of some of the folks I’ve dated, that would actually have been a very romantic admission – it’s tough to make a greater impression on a geek than their obsessions.
October 3, 2012 at 4:31 pm
Yes, I want some infested wood in my house. Those are John Carpenter Ants, aren’t they?
October 3, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Honey, I know I said I like it when you get wood, but no.
October 3, 2012 at 4:44 pm
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October 3, 2012 at 4:53 pm
Yes, My heart is being rotted by your festering, in damnable “love”.
October 3, 2012 at 5:27 pm
The perfect way to say you’d like to go “Dutch” (Elm Disease)
October 3, 2012 at 6:04 pm
“Well, doctor, I guess the problem started around our last anniversary. We exchanged gifts as usual, but I got the feeling Jerry was trying to tell me something…”
October 3, 2012 at 6:31 pm
Chest-grippingly beautiful!
October 3, 2012 at 6:40 pm
Is there a lung-shaped wood carving like this? Ah yes, scare tactics for the win.
October 3, 2012 at 7:52 pm
I made this one out of papier-mâché and titled it “Where There’s Smoke, There’s Tar”:
October 4, 2012 at 10:43 am
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October 6, 2012 at 11:46 am
October 3, 2012 at 6:46 pm
I want to be snarky so bad but i can’t it’s beautiful piece of wood.
October 4, 2012 at 3:47 am
I kinda like it too.. but I wouldnt buy it for the price he’s got :/
October 4, 2012 at 7:53 am
It really is, I love burled anything. Still looks like a zombie heart though. He really missed a great selling point.
October 3, 2012 at 6:55 pm
$245 for a wooden heart stuffed with used pipe tobacco? I think not. The wooden heart might have been nice on its own but I don’t get the black crud.
October 4, 2012 at 4:44 am
Maybe it’s a serving piece for prunes??
October 3, 2012 at 7:12 pm
Ah, the placenta print aesthetic goes 3-D.
October 3, 2012 at 8:30 pm
bless your corroded black little heart.
October 3, 2012 at 8:55 pm
Possibly the least appealing heart I’ve seen for a while – but check out his other stuff. I really want one of those carved fish with a big schnozz.
October 3, 2012 at 8:57 pm
Seriously, WHAT is that? I’m actually baffled…
October 3, 2012 at 9:06 pm
I’m a longtime reader but first time poster. I just want to say (without sounding too much like a kiss ass lol) that you guys are geniuses! I’m afraid my snark isn’t gonna be up to par =(
October 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm
All that I could think of is that this heart would be a wonderful accompaniment to these flowers.
October 4, 2012 at 4:02 am
Doctor, I think I have termites….
October 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Eat your heart out
October 4, 2012 at 1:54 pm
is this their interpretation of heart of darkness ?
October 4, 2012 at 2:30 pm
You had me at Gary Burns.
October 4, 2012 at 9:35 pm
Is it sad that this particular one kind of scares me?