Tell her you’d marry her all over again with a diseased and rotting heart. Perfect for smokers!
See that dark, twisted part of my heart? That’s where my love for you resides, my darling. Wanna make out?
Baby, I love you so much, I’d let you spit your chaw all over my heart.
Does he do spleens? I want a ruptured spleen wooden wall sculpture.
better be specific in that custom item request. are we talking blunt trauma, hemangiosarcoma, splenic torsion…
well, never mind. it was just going to be a blob covered in tar anyway.
Zombie love is a many rotted thing.
“Perfect for smokers!”
“very Kool to me.”
Complete with cigarette advertising embedded in the listing.
I only give gifts to myself after I’ve cheated on me.
If necrosis is death of tissue, is this what “necromancer” really means?
This is what happens to your heart after too much red meat and vodka.
The more you know.
Throw in a few hungry maggots and you have a sale!
or throw in some termites and time it perfectly to match the signing date of your divorce papers
What better way is there to say “Our marraige is rotting on the inside”, than with a diseased wooden heart carving?
I hope this guy doesn’t carve erotica. If this is how he represents the heart, imagine what he’d do to a set of genitals.
“My love for you is a blackened, festering wound in my heart. Wanna see?”
I actually really like this. But I think they need to do other organs, too. I want a rotting brain. They could even make it out of barnwood!
I can almost read the card that goes along with this. “Honey, I love you more than I love The Walking Dead.”
Thinking of some of the folks I’ve dated, that would actually have been a very romantic admission – it’s tough to make a greater impression on a geek than their obsessions.
Yes, I want some infested wood in my house. Those are John Carpenter Ants, aren’t they?
Honey, I know I said I like it when you get wood, but no.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
The description claims that was done by “Treewiz,” but appears more like it was done by Treeturd.
Yes, My heart is being rotted by your festering, in damnable “love”.
The perfect way to say you’d like to go “Dutch” (Elm Disease)
“Well, doctor, I guess the problem started around our last anniversary. We exchanged gifts as usual, but I got the feeling Jerry was trying to tell me something…”
Is there a lung-shaped wood carving like this? Ah yes, scare tactics for the win.
I made this one out of papier-mâché and titled it “Where There’s Smoke, There’s Tar”:
haha wtf! It’s looks like a giant hairball.
I want to be snarky so bad but i can’t it’s beautiful piece of wood.
I kinda like it too.. but I wouldnt buy it for the price he’s got :/
It really is, I love burled anything. Still looks like a zombie heart though. He really missed a great selling point.
$245 for a wooden heart stuffed with used pipe tobacco? I think not. The wooden heart might have been nice on its own but I don’t get the black crud.
Maybe it’s a serving piece for prunes??
Ah, the placenta print aesthetic goes 3-D.
bless your corroded black little heart.
Possibly the least appealing heart I’ve seen for a while – but check out his other stuff. I really want one of those carved fish with a big schnozz.
Seriously, WHAT is that? I’m actually baffled…
I’m a longtime reader but first time poster. I just want to say (without sounding too much like a kiss ass lol) that you guys are geniuses! I’m afraid my snark isn’t gonna be up to par =(
All that I could think of is that this heart would be a wonderful accompaniment to these flowers.
Doctor, I think I have termites….
Eat your heart out
is this their interpretation of heart of darkness ?
You had me at Gary Burns.
Is it sad that this particular one kind of scares me?
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