Yeah, not seeing the eagle. This looks more like me watching season 2 of the Gilmore Girls.
So that’s what you look like. You know we’ve all been wondering, CG.
Now I’m genuinely intrigued as to what those unfortunate souls without arms do when it comes time to polish the old driftwood, as it were.
Based on dogs I’ve seen I think that pillows are involved. (or legs).
If that’s a dick, I’m going to go hork.
Hey, what’s he supposed to do when Pokey is on a business trip?
What sort of botched circumcision was that? To me it reminds me of the sandworms from DUNE
I thought that he had spent so much time with it that it had started to fray.
You can soar higher than an eagle.
You are the wind beneath my thing.
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I trust your parents sued the Mohel.
Aw… he’s pining for a little bush.
I wooden have gone there, if I were him.
Eh, his bark is worse than his bite. Unless you keep needling him.
Oh leaf the sap and his crotch alone, with a face like that you know he’s not getting any.
you mean knot getting??
You are probably right, I don’t imagine that he’s very poplar with the ladies.
a wounded eagle
10″ “high” is great, but I’m concerned about the 10″ wide.
AND WHERE ARE THE GLITTER TEARS? HMM??
You have to hand make those yourself.
I loled so I had to go to your blog. Can I say I loved this line?
“The illusion of choice simply masked with a vote.”
Thanks, I can’t believe somebody read it! Wheeeeee!
I read it to see what kind of writing style I’ve hitched my fuckery wagon to in the pursuit of erotic writing sexcellence. Like!
Isn’t that Ang Lee’s next film?
Wounded Eagle, Choking Chicken?
Ah Ah Ah Ah Stayin’ Alive Stayin’ Alive
Ah Ah Ah Ah Stayin’ A-liiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyiiiiyyyyiiyyyiiiiiiive….
Come on! It looks like it’s doing the Travolta dance from Saturday Night Fever. Fuck, I must be getting old…
I see the eagle, I’m just wondering where the “sculpture” part comes in.
I wondered that, too.
1. Find chunk of driftwood.
2. Rub with whatever oil is on hand. [I'm so punny today.]
3. Sell on Etsy for $169.
I really should visit the beach more often…
you said rub oil on the driftwood by hand
Tung oil of course
“See the determination in my face.” Determined to come to fruition?
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How the hell would you insert that? I don’t think it would fit in my meat tunnel of pleasure, but maybe I’m on the small side. In fact, I don’t think I know a person outside the porn industry with ten inches of stretch.
This hipster porn is getting weirder and weirder. At least this one’s polished, unlike the driftwood…
I don’t think you’re seeing this the way we all see it…
Regretsy has warped my soul, what can I say.
Hell no! Yer not jackin’ off your woody on any shelf of mine! I don’t give a damn HOW determined you are, ya pervert!!
Okay, I see the double-amputee with a hard-on. I even see the eagle, I guess. What I don’t see is justification for charging $169 for beach rubbish — even interesting beach rubbish.
It looks like the body modification of splitting a penis. You should leave it up to your imagination or Google Image “penis splitting” to see the real thing. After seeing it (again), I would think that there is no other sex but a hand job, because no sane woman would let one anywhere near her.
Google Image “penis splitting”?
I’m gonna add that to my list of things not to google (list so far consists of: blue waffle)
Do not… I repeat, do NOT Google that. Certainly not just before dinner. It’s exactly what you think it will be.
Except even more gross than you imagine.
It’s me watching any season of “Supernatural.”
Patriotic wood. That gets my vote.
Just thank your lucky stars they’re not trying to sell it as a natural tampon.
DON’T GIVE THEM IDEAS!
“See the determination on my face.”
DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO PIECE OF DRIFTWOOD!
You’re not the Balsa of me!
I don’t have to listen to yew!
I’m not oak-kay with being bossed around!
FINE! Just go ahead and be an old stick in the beach
ok if i look hard I see something bird like but where the beak is all I see is the bird puking up something ….
Yeah, I see the eagle too but it looks like it’s throwing up.
How about climaxing baby condor?
That sperm whale is sporting craaaaaaazy wood. Or an Alien baby.
Well what do you expect from a sperm whale? Horndogs of the animal kingdom. And don’t get me started on the narwhal…
Hi, my name’s Betty and I’m a Regretsyholic…
Is driftwood replacng barn wood on Etsy? Seems like we have had quite a few driftwood items on here recently…
I wish my driftwood were 10″ high and polished.
Am I the only one who is seeing Gumby polishing his knob? Maybe my kids are right after all, maybe I AM twisted LOL
You’d know the answer if you had bothered to read the previous comments. Or searched for “Gumby”, as I did.
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