Pretty sure this is meant to float in water, so it’s not dangerous at all anymore.
I can’t see how it would be stable for a proper pyre, though. The king would roll flat off of it.
That’s OK, when he hits the water it’s time to plug in the loooooong extension cord and finish the job! Unless he was already dead?
Hipster Viking Funeral Starter Kit? Let me get my glue gun.
Except in the description it says for table or shelf.
Bonus smoke detector with double purchase.
Hipster Housefire Kit.
Oh, I see what you did there
The perfect gift for the neighbour you hate or that relative who has you in their will!
it’s leftover from Burning Man.
It looks like somebody went to Ikea, got home, tried to put this thing together, threw it against a wall and then plugged it in.
You hit the nail on the head Lee! Notice in the background of the pictures, there is a pillow in a current Ikea “fabric”. Look at it just sitting there all itchy and cleverly saying to perspective buyers, “see, she’s artsy and thrifty.”
Is there some other way to assemble Ikea products?
Assemble? Is THAT what the little comic book they come with is trying to tell me? All along I thought this was some kind of art contest.
Don’t forget the included allen wrench! Because everyone loves turning 47 bolts with an allen wrench just to make a small bookshelf!
And then finding that you’ve made a table instead!
And there were supposed to have been 48 bolts but Ikea is 2 states over.
How do they manage to make Ikea so far from anywhere? Geographical singularity I guess.
Now I know what to do with all those leftover twigs and maxi pads.
I don’t think I have anything witty to say. I just need to go change my panties because when I saw that lamp “in a room”, I totally pissed myself.
Worth every drop.
Jesus Christ on a cracker, whoever “made” that must think the general public is dumber than a box of rocks.
“No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American Public” ~H. L. Menken
“There is a Sucker born every minute” ~P. T. Barnum
Today, I had a student ask me what “feminine” meant. He is 16 years old. He also wrote a
I am concerned for our future. Especially since, last year, this same student wrote this gem (this was his “essay” that he turned in):
“What I think is that us teenagers should be aloud to drive. I think at the age of 16 teens should be allowed to drive. Why I think teenagers should be allowed to is because we teenagers have the responsibility to drive. We have the right to drive because we are at the age were we can drive.”
Wait…wait….he’s 16 and didn’t know he could drive?
Shhhh! Don’t tell him!
FOR THE LOVE OF LITTLE BABY JESUS DON’T TELL HIM!!!
Teenager should never be aloud to drive. They should remain silent while driving.
Also, his reasoning is a tautology impeccable.
After intense negotiations, I have finally been able to make the subject and verb agree.
You can now change your name to “GrammerblasticMan.”
He could be saying that teenagers should be allowed to drive because they have the capability to do so.
I think they should do way with instain teenager that aloud to drive.
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I am running for office so you should vote for me. If I didn’t think you should vote for me, would I be running for this office? I’m running for it because I’m the one you should vote for.
Or you can vote for the terrorists.
Will the terrorists allow teenagers to drive, though? That’s going to be key to my voting choices.
Also, where do the terrorists stand on curly bulbs?
Why would anyone stand on a curly bulb?
Without the above context, I would have guessed that that was an excerpt from a Romney stump speech.
Best. Campaign slogan. Ever. Zippy 2012!
That was hideously painful to read. My 13 year old daughter just stood over my shoulder loudly correcting it and yelling because it is so badly written.
I’m kind of proud of the little shit right now!
Just for clarification, my student’s essay was in response to articles he was supposed to have read to use as evidence to support his opinion on whether or nor the legal age to receive a license should be raised from 16 to 18.
And, that’s what he turned in. All five glorious sentences.
Ha Ha, in Idaho I got my license at 14–then again, that’s when most of us marry.
How can you argue with logic like that?!
Are you from NJ? I remember having to write opinion papers like that in school. We couldn’t drive at sixteen but my younger sister could under very strict conditions. My paper was always more along the lines of “my peers are all overindulged entitled dbags and drive accordingly. I don’t give a crap.”
At least he asked you ( a female I presume) and not Urbandictionary.
I’m from CA… LAUSD. I fight the good fight.
Well, they got one thing right.
I scared the living crapwater out of my cat because this made me shout with laughter. There is a little trail of poo water across the arm of the recliner now. Still worth it.
I was PRAYING that would happen when I clicked “View it in a room,” and it exceeded my wildest expectations.
I hope this crafter turns their talent to other similarly intelligent products such as:
Toilet paper hammock
Stained glass lunch box
Franklin stove bassinet
Now I want a Stained Glass Lunchbox!
Boom, I just stole Irishyankee’s comment. What now sucka?!
I’d totally buy a wasp-filled pinata. Double your entertainment value.
I know a few folks who deserve a wasp-filled pinata in their lives.
They do sell sleeves with no shirt…
This could be dangerous!
Lemme show you something…!
I shall now commence wasting far too much time looking up old Jim Carey skits from In Living Color for the rest of the night.
And I will laugh myself stupid and love every moment of it. ILC was such a great show.
Make sure you watch the ENVIRONMENTAL GUY sketch! Oh man, I think that’s on my list of faves from the show D
Time watching ILC is not time wasted. Wanda was my favorite.
oops: that was supposed to be a response to Vicogin above. Sorry!
I think it makes a fine stand-alone comment. Particularly if you say it among people who have never read Regretsy, and you refuse to explain.
“Dry crackers and sour grape juice again? Stupid Stained Glass Lunchbox!”
“Oh well, guess I’ll feed them to the wasps!”
It may not be delicious but there’s enough for everyone!
Sorry, I thought you said loaves and fishes.
Hey, there’s a lamp stuck to the heel of your shoe!
They think that has a “gorgeous shape”?
The fun part is that over the course of it’s week long life span – it slowly changes color from “muslin” to “charcoal”.
And the size of the smell adjusts from ‘do you smell something burning?’ to ‘wood ash’!
I hate it when I type “Drugged” but I’m too loopy and I don’t hit the “D” and it just says “Rugged.”
I feel bad saying this, because April’s seat is still warm, but this is possibly the best “View it in a Room” ever.
I agree. I haven’t been here long, but this one’s my favorite.
So April sat down and knocked over the lamp and OH NOW LOOK is what you’re telling me?
But I must agree. Homeslice has opened up some doors here, as it were.
And who among us here doesn’t miss April’s warm seat?
What?!? Too soon??
It was one of her greatest assets.
I just wanted to say, I’ve been a little nervous about transferring my loyalty to M. Guevara, but with this latest post? All I can say is:
Ditto. Won over I am.
My pants off to you, Crochet.
Er… hat. My HAT’s off to you.
To get the full effect of this wonderful piece of lighting, you really need to see it unlit, gently sitting in the back of a garbage truck that’s driving away from you.
ahh yes, fresh of the production line. How doth I know? The hot glue tendrils telleth me so.
that should read, fresh OFF the production line.
Some customer reviews:
Tim W. says: “STEP ON IT!! STEP ON IT!! IT’S NOT OUT YET!!!”
Suzan M. says: “Ewwwwww! It’s melted into my coffee table! This thing smells fucking horrible!”
Colleen L. says: “Thanks, Honey. A friggin’ fabric remnant with some sticks and a lightbulb. Happy fucking anniversary to you, too, dickwad. You’re not getting laid for a year.”
oh wait! there are more available on the site! here is the description for another gem… note the ‘every one,’ ‘theres,and ‘electric T-light.’ Gosh, pretending my shit don’t stink is fun! enjoy.
“This small sculpture is made of shredded cotton. It represents how things can never be too easy in life, but for every one “stick in the mud” theres multiple good things that happen to us. We just need to see them. =)
Shown with an electric T-light inside.
*Slow clap* Well played, Crochet, well played.
It’s only the first day and you’re already on fire!
[ponders this a moment...]
Sweet jeezus… is that thing made with… used bandages?
Oh, don’t worry, they’re from the local Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast.
Yeah, okay, worry.
And I cant imagine this lamp is at all hard to dust. Oh wait the flames would just burn it off wouldn’t it?
Crochet (if that really IS your name), this was the first belly laugh I’ve had since sending my child off to college. Thank you.
BEST. VIEW IT IN A ROOM. EVER.
I <3 Crochet. This was not what I expected!
the mummy misses his bandages. What to do with all these chopsticks cluttering up my junk drawer? A firetrap! Genius!
View it in a room…did NOT see that coming!!
My Hat is off to you, Crochet. GENIUS!
I laughed out loud, Crochet Guevera! After a really shitty day, I thank you.
I think I hurt something cackling at the View It In A Room.
“I need my splint-making kit to save a human life. Has anyone seen 2 long sticks and a clean roll of gauze? It was right here next to the Etsy.
“Hey, honey? Can you turn the lamp on for a moment-”
Best View it in a Room ever.
I also love how they couldn’t be bothered to cut the chopsticks/dowels and half of them have splintered ends from being snapped. The whole thing just looks lumpy – like a bad 1st grade art project. Would this thing look better or worse after my cats got done with it?
“Best View it in a Room ever.”
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