You hit the nail on the head Lee! Notice in the background of the pictures, there is a pillow in a current Ikea “fabric”. Look at it just sitting there all itchy and cleverly saying to perspective buyers, “see, she’s artsy and thrifty.”
Today, I had a student ask me what “feminine” meant. He is 16 years old. He also wrote a
I am concerned for our future. Especially since, last year, this same student wrote this gem (this was his “essay” that he turned in):
“What I think is that us teenagers should be aloud to drive. I think at the age of 16 teens should be allowed to drive. Why I think teenagers should be allowed to is because we teenagers have the responsibility to drive. We have the right to drive because we are at the age were we can drive.”
I am running for office so you should vote for me. If I didn’t think you should vote for me, would I be running for this office? I’m running for it because I’m the one you should vote for.
That was hideously painful to read. My 13 year old daughter just stood over my shoulder loudly correcting it and yelling because it is so badly written.
Just for clarification, my student’s essay was in response to articles he was supposed to have read to use as evidence to support his opinion on whether or nor the legal age to receive a license should be raised from 16 to 18.
And, that’s what he turned in. All five glorious sentences.
Are you from NJ? I remember having to write opinion papers like that in school. We couldn’t drive at sixteen but my younger sister could under very strict conditions. My paper was always more along the lines of “my peers are all overindulged entitled dbags and drive accordingly. I don’t give a crap.”
At least he asked you ( a female I presume) and not Urbandictionary.
I scared the living crapwater out of my cat because this made me shout with laughter. There is a little trail of poo water across the arm of the recliner now. Still worth it.
I hope this crafter turns their talent to other similarly intelligent products such as:
Toilet paper hammock
Stained glass lunch box
Wasp-filled pinata
Electric fork
Franklin stove bassinet
To get the full effect of this wonderful piece of lighting, you really need to see it unlit, gently sitting in the back of a garbage truck that’s driving away from you.
Tim W. says: “STEP ON IT!! STEP ON IT!! IT’S NOT OUT YET!!!”
Suzan M. says: “Ewwwwww! It’s melted into my coffee table! This thing smells fucking horrible!”
Colleen L. says: “Thanks, Honey. A friggin’ fabric remnant with some sticks and a lightbulb. Happy fucking anniversary to you, too, dickwad. You’re not getting laid for a year.”
oh wait! there are more available on the site! here is the description for another gem… note the ‘every one,’ ‘theres,and ‘electric T-light.’ Gosh, pretending my shit don’t stink is fun! enjoy.
“This small sculpture is made of shredded cotton. It represents how things can never be too easy in life, but for every one “stick in the mud” theres multiple good things that happen to us. We just need to see them. =)
I also love how they couldn’t be bothered to cut the chopsticks/dowels and half of them have splintered ends from being snapped. The whole thing just looks lumpy – like a bad 1st grade art project. Would this thing look better or worse after my cats got done with it?
October 1, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Pretty sure this is meant to float in water, so it’s not dangerous at all anymore.
October 1, 2012 at 4:28 pm
I can’t see how it would be stable for a proper pyre, though. The king would roll flat off of it.
October 1, 2012 at 5:38 pm
That’s OK, when he hits the water it’s time to plug in the loooooong extension cord and finish the job! Unless he was already dead?
October 2, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Hipster Viking Funeral Starter Kit? Let me get my glue gun.
October 2, 2012 at 9:01 am
Except in the description it says for table or shelf.
October 1, 2012 at 4:02 pm
Bonus smoke detector with double purchase.
October 2, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Hipster Housefire Kit.
October 1, 2012 at 4:06 pm
Oh, I see what you did there
October 1, 2012 at 4:06 pm
The perfect gift for the neighbour you hate or that relative who has you in their will!
October 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm
it’s leftover from Burning Man.
October 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm
It looks like somebody went to Ikea, got home, tried to put this thing together, threw it against a wall and then plugged it in.
October 1, 2012 at 5:14 pm
You hit the nail on the head Lee! Notice in the background of the pictures, there is a pillow in a current Ikea “fabric”. Look at it just sitting there all itchy and cleverly saying to perspective buyers, “see, she’s artsy and thrifty.”
October 1, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Is there some other way to assemble Ikea products?
October 1, 2012 at 5:42 pm
Assemble? Is THAT what the little comic book they come with is trying to tell me? All along I thought this was some kind of art contest.
October 1, 2012 at 5:45 pm
Don’t forget the included allen wrench! Because everyone loves turning 47 bolts with an allen wrench just to make a small bookshelf!
October 1, 2012 at 7:29 pm
And then finding that you’ve made a table instead!
October 1, 2012 at 8:30 pm
And there were supposed to have been 48 bolts but Ikea is 2 states over.
October 1, 2012 at 8:57 pm
How do they manage to make Ikea so far from anywhere? Geographical singularity I guess.
October 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm
Now I know what to do with all those leftover twigs and maxi pads.
October 1, 2012 at 4:07 pm
I don’t think I have anything witty to say. I just need to go change my panties because when I saw that lamp “in a room”, I totally pissed myself.
Worth every drop.
October 1, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Jesus Christ on a cracker, whoever “made” that must think the general public is dumber than a box of rocks.
October 1, 2012 at 4:17 pm
“No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American Public” ~H. L. Menken
“There is a Sucker born every minute” ~P. T. Barnum
October 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Yup.
Today, I had a student ask me what “feminine” meant. He is 16 years old. He also wrote a
I am concerned for our future. Especially since, last year, this same student wrote this gem (this was his “essay” that he turned in):
“What I think is that us teenagers should be aloud to drive. I think at the age of 16 teens should be allowed to drive. Why I think teenagers should be allowed to is because we teenagers have the responsibility to drive. We have the right to drive because we are at the age were we can drive.”
O.o
October 1, 2012 at 4:53 pm
Wait…wait….he’s 16 and didn’t know he could drive?
October 1, 2012 at 4:55 pm
Shhhh! Don’t tell him!
October 1, 2012 at 5:04 pm
FOR THE LOVE OF LITTLE BABY JESUS DON’T TELL HIM!!!
October 1, 2012 at 5:05 pm
Teenager should never be aloud to drive. They should remain silent while driving.
Also, his reasoning is
a tautologyimpeccable.October 1, 2012 at 5:06 pm
Teenagers should…
After intense negotiations, I have finally been able to make the subject and verb agree.
October 1, 2012 at 5:20 pm
You can now change your name to “GrammerblasticMan.”
October 1, 2012 at 5:28 pm
He could be saying that teenagers should be allowed to drive because they have the capability to do so.
October 1, 2012 at 7:15 pm
I think they should do way with instain teenager that aloud to drive.
October 2, 2012 at 12:58 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
October 1, 2012 at 5:25 pm
I am running for office so you should vote for me. If I didn’t think you should vote for me, would I be running for this office? I’m running for it because I’m the one you should vote for.
Or you can vote for the terrorists.
October 1, 2012 at 6:20 pm
DEAL!
October 1, 2012 at 7:38 pm
Will the terrorists allow teenagers to drive, though? That’s going to be key to my voting choices.
Also, where do the terrorists stand on curly bulbs?
October 2, 2012 at 1:10 am
Why would anyone stand on a curly bulb?
October 2, 2012 at 9:57 am
Without the above context, I would have guessed that that was an excerpt from a Romney stump speech.
October 12, 2012 at 3:34 pm
Best. Campaign slogan. Ever. Zippy 2012!
October 1, 2012 at 8:48 pm
That was hideously painful to read. My 13 year old daughter just stood over my shoulder loudly correcting it and yelling because it is so badly written.
I’m kind of proud of the little shit right now!
October 2, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Just for clarification, my student’s essay was in response to articles he was supposed to have read to use as evidence to support his opinion on whether or nor the legal age to receive a license should be raised from 16 to 18.
And, that’s what he turned in. All five glorious sentences.
October 2, 2012 at 10:35 pm
Ha Ha, in Idaho I got my license at 14–then again, that’s when most of us marry.
October 2, 2012 at 1:02 am
How can you argue with logic like that?!
October 2, 2012 at 6:11 am
Are you from NJ? I remember having to write opinion papers like that in school. We couldn’t drive at sixteen but my younger sister could under very strict conditions. My paper was always more along the lines of “my peers are all overindulged entitled dbags and drive accordingly. I don’t give a crap.”
At least he asked you ( a female I presume) and not Urbandictionary.
October 2, 2012 at 9:33 pm
I’m from CA… LAUSD. I fight the good fight.
October 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Well, they got one thing right.
October 1, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I scared the living crapwater out of my cat because this made me shout with laughter. There is a little trail of poo water across the arm of the recliner now. Still worth it.
October 1, 2012 at 4:14 pm
I was PRAYING that would happen when I clicked “View it in a room,” and it exceeded my wildest expectations.
October 1, 2012 at 4:20 pm
I hope this crafter turns their talent to other similarly intelligent products such as:
Toilet paper hammock
Stained glass lunch box
Wasp-filled pinata
Electric fork
Franklin stove bassinet
October 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Now I want a Stained Glass Lunchbox!
Boom, I just stole Irishyankee’s comment. What now sucka?!
October 1, 2012 at 4:50 pm
I’d totally buy a wasp-filled pinata. Double your entertainment value.
October 1, 2012 at 4:58 pm
I know a few folks who deserve a wasp-filled pinata in their lives.
October 1, 2012 at 5:18 pm
They do sell sleeves with no shirt…
October 1, 2012 at 4:21 pm
This could be dangerous!
October 1, 2012 at 4:33 pm
Lemme show you something…!
October 1, 2012 at 9:05 pm
I shall now commence wasting far too much time looking up old Jim Carey skits from In Living Color for the rest of the night.
And I will laugh myself stupid and love every moment of it. ILC was such a great show.
October 1, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Make sure you watch the ENVIRONMENTAL GUY sketch! Oh man, I think that’s on my list of faves from the show
D
October 3, 2012 at 11:22 am
Time watching ILC is not time wasted. Wanda was my favorite.
October 1, 2012 at 4:22 pm
Now I want a Stained Glass Lunchbox!
October 1, 2012 at 4:24 pm
oops: that was supposed to be a response to Vicogin above. Sorry!
October 1, 2012 at 5:29 pm
I think it makes a fine stand-alone comment. Particularly if you say it among people who have never read Regretsy, and you refuse to explain.
October 1, 2012 at 5:49 pm
“Dry crackers and sour grape juice again? Stupid Stained Glass Lunchbox!”
October 1, 2012 at 7:27 pm
“Oh well, guess I’ll feed them to the wasps!”
October 2, 2012 at 5:40 am
It may not be delicious but there’s enough for everyone!
October 2, 2012 at 6:29 am
Sorry, I thought you said loaves and fishes.
October 1, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Hey, there’s a lamp stuck to the heel of your shoe!
October 1, 2012 at 4:30 pm
They think that has a “gorgeous shape”?
October 1, 2012 at 4:33 pm
The fun part is that over the course of it’s week long life span – it slowly changes color from “muslin” to “charcoal”.
October 1, 2012 at 4:59 pm
And the size of the smell adjusts from ‘do you smell something burning?’ to ‘wood ash’!
October 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I hate it when I type “Drugged” but I’m too loopy and I don’t hit the “D” and it just says “Rugged.”
I feel bad saying this, because April’s seat is still warm, but this is possibly the best “View it in a Room” ever.
October 1, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I agree. I haven’t been here long, but this one’s my favorite.
October 1, 2012 at 7:18 pm
So April sat down and knocked over the lamp and OH NOW LOOK is what you’re telling me?
But I must agree. Homeslice has opened up some doors here, as it were.
October 1, 2012 at 8:18 pm
And who among us here doesn’t miss April’s warm seat?
What?!? Too soon??
October 1, 2012 at 8:49 pm
It was one of her greatest assets.
October 1, 2012 at 4:48 pm
I just wanted to say, I’ve been a little nervous about transferring my loyalty to M. Guevara, but with this latest post? All I can say is:
Loyalty earned.
October 1, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Ditto. Won over I am.
October 1, 2012 at 7:26 pm
My pants off to you, Crochet.
Er… hat. My HAT’s off to you.
October 1, 2012 at 5:07 pm
To get the full effect of this wonderful piece of lighting, you really need to see it unlit, gently sitting in the back of a garbage truck that’s driving away from you.
October 1, 2012 at 5:09 pm
ahh yes, fresh of the production line. How doth I know? The hot glue tendrils telleth me so.
October 1, 2012 at 5:41 pm
that should read, fresh OFF the production line.
October 1, 2012 at 5:16 pm
Some customer reviews:
Tim W. says: “STEP ON IT!! STEP ON IT!! IT’S NOT OUT YET!!!”
Suzan M. says: “Ewwwwww! It’s melted into my coffee table! This thing smells fucking horrible!”
Colleen L. says: “Thanks, Honey. A friggin’ fabric remnant with some sticks and a lightbulb. Happy fucking anniversary to you, too, dickwad. You’re not getting laid for a year.”
October 1, 2012 at 5:22 pm
oh wait! there are more available on the site! here is the description for another gem… note the ‘every one,’ ‘theres,and ‘electric T-light.’ Gosh, pretending my shit don’t stink is fun! enjoy.
“This small sculpture is made of shredded cotton. It represents how things can never be too easy in life, but for every one “stick in the mud” theres multiple good things that happen to us. We just need to see them. =)
Shown with an electric T-light inside.
October 1, 2012 at 5:24 pm
A+!
October 1, 2012 at 5:42 pm
*Slow clap* Well played, Crochet, well played.
October 1, 2012 at 5:51 pm
It’s only the first day and you’re already on fire!
October 1, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Shredded cotton…?
[ponders this a moment...]
Sweet jeezus… is that thing made with… used bandages?
[skeeeeeeeeeve!]
October 1, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Oh, don’t worry, they’re from the local Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast.
Hmm.
Yeah, okay, worry.
October 1, 2012 at 9:53 pm
And I cant imagine this lamp is at all hard to dust. Oh wait the flames would just burn it off wouldn’t it?
October 1, 2012 at 6:06 pm
Crochet (if that really IS your name), this was the first belly laugh I’ve had since sending my child off to college. Thank you.
October 1, 2012 at 6:09 pm
BEST. VIEW IT IN A ROOM. EVER.
October 1, 2012 at 6:10 pm
I <3 Crochet. This was not what I expected!
October 1, 2012 at 6:14 pm
the mummy misses his bandages. What to do with all these chopsticks cluttering up my junk drawer? A firetrap! Genius!
October 1, 2012 at 6:18 pm
View it in a room…did NOT see that coming!!
October 1, 2012 at 6:56 pm
My Hat is off to you, Crochet. GENIUS!
October 1, 2012 at 7:49 pm
I laughed out loud, Crochet Guevera! After a really shitty day, I thank you.
October 1, 2012 at 9:04 pm
I think I hurt something cackling at the View It In A Room.
AWESOME!!!
October 1, 2012 at 10:12 pm
“I need my splint-making kit to save a human life. Has anyone seen 2 long sticks and a clean roll of gauze? It was right here next to the Etsy.
October 2, 2012 at 12:53 am
“Hey, honey? Can you turn the lamp on for a moment-”
WHHOOOOFFFF
October 2, 2012 at 5:43 am
Honey?
October 2, 2012 at 9:11 am
Best View it in a Room ever.
I also love how they couldn’t be bothered to cut the chopsticks/dowels and half of them have splintered ends from being snapped. The whole thing just looks lumpy – like a bad 1st grade art project. Would this thing look better or worse after my cats got done with it?
October 2, 2012 at 9:22 am
“Best View it in a Room ever.”
Seconded!
October 3, 2012 at 12:43 am
Thirded.