- Submitted by MollParts
That “union jack” shirt will go nicely with the kupcake klan monstrosity.
It’s vile, all right…
Yeah, I don’t think that one was derp, they are vile!
Halloween reefs are the most endangered of all. Please don’t stand on them.
I was actually hoping it was Halloween reefer.
Being a resident of Lexington, I know that you could be right.
the roses do look to be nice and tightly rolled…
Is that what you get once you’re too old to go trick-or-treating?
If it is, I need a costume, stat!
“Woolly Mammoth.” Ow. Cannot stop giggle-snorting over this. Someone send this seller a picture of a camel, please?
Why not convo them and see if they have a photo of Jesus or the Norman conquest?
Dont laugh. This picture was taken by Fred Flintstone who was an avid photographer. Most people don’t know this about him. I have a nice portrait he did of a T – Rex.
Guess there really *are* some ancient things in Scotland!
You might not recognize it, but this mammoth has had its trunk amputated. How is he supposed to be the king of the glacial plain now? huh?
By taking the otorhinolaryn-appendage of the woolly mammoth we are leaving them defenseless and threatening them with extinction!!
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I feel stupid right now…I’m missing the “union jack” problem…I mean, other than that it’s an incomplete Union Jack, it is Union Jack – like
At least they spelled it correctly
The others…well, I’ve always wanted to give the gift of vile earrings!
i think it’s a confederate flag instead of a union jack
ok, now I feel REALLY stupid for not seeing that.
I haven’t had any vodka yet tonight. Time to start!!!
You shall rise again, G Val! You are not a Lost Cause.
Now I’m confused. How does vodka make you smarter?
it doesn’t. I does make you sexier, funnier, and able to sing better than professionals
But actually it may have helped me here because, when I read “Union Jack” in the title before looking at the picture, my brain decided to try to focus on fitting the image into what a Union Jack is, rather than tapping my on the shoulder and reminding me that I also know what the late rebel flag looks like…a little vodka may have prevented me from concentrating on the one, and actually seeing the other.
Knowing this does not make me feel any less stupid at this point though, LOL
It doesn’t. It just makes you not care that you’re stupid.
It’s not Union Jack, it’s the confederate flag. Union Jack is the flag of the United Kingdom.
Odd fact: it’s only really the Union Jack when it’s being flown on a ship. When it’s on land (or on T-shirts, or wherever) it’s the Union Flag.
Unless it’s the Confederate Flag, of course.
Rose Tyler taught me that!
Sorry sweetie, that’s a confederate flag, as in, the war of northern aggression (Civil War).
I was being sarcastic, I live in California although I can see how my comment might have sounded like a pissed off southerner. Downthumb away
Since EVERY war is a ‘war of aggression,’ I think you’re doing just fine.
I actually assumed you were a Southerner saying it tongue in cheek.
My granddad and great-granddad were dead serious when they called it “The war of Northern Aggression” and that the only issue they were fighting for were “Staaaates” rights over the tyrrrrrrrrany of the fedr’l gove’ment.”
But my generation will jokinging talk about the difference between a Yankee, a Damm Yankee and a God-Damned Yankee and use the term “war of norther aggression” tongue firmly in cheek.
Oh, good, other people learned the difference between Yankees too.
Tell you what. Living in England was hard to adjust to. Everyone likes to call me a Yankee. I’ll accept Yank. But every time I hear ‘yankee’ I get all indignant. Then I get upset that it upsets me, because I don’t really give a damn. Stupid family brainwashing!
There are historical markers in Columbus, Georgia, that reference the”War of 1861-1864″.
I am guilty of using the term “Yankee” derisively to refer to things not Southern, like Yankee cornbread (with sugar and more wheat than corn (a.k.a. corn cake)) and Yankee barbecue (smothered in smoke-flavored ketchup and Karo syrup).
Shouldn’t that be Southern Aggression? The rebels shot First!
Really? I didn’t know that. I’ve always heard it called the war of Northern Aggression. Of course, this was by southerners so……..
They have a different version of that war.
They started it by telling us we could do what ever we damn well pleased. So they were the aggressors!
Well, by “us” I mean “them” (including,I’m sorry to say, a great many of ancestors, including General Lee himself) or more spcifically “the Southerners of the mid-1800s” and by “them” I mean the “Yankees” otherwise known as “the Northerners”. And what we/them/the Southerners damn well pleased was to keep people as if they were property and they/the Yankees/the folks with sense wanted to tell the South to do was to stop owning human beings.
So, see, the North were the aggressors. They started it.
The only reason Lee fought for the south was family loyalty. He actually trained/schooled “up north” and sympathized with the abolitionists and disagreed with the trumping up of the “states’ rights” cause.
I’m kinda confused. I had relatives on both sides, so, umm… how about I just sit over here and watch? I promise to share the rum.
Or the corn squeezin’s?
Same here. I’ll bring the corn whiskey (only those odd Yankees called in Moonshine, back then).
Och! Tha War O’ Southern Aggression is tha’ Scots’ name fer wha’ the Sassenachs call the Jacobite Uprisin’s! Dinna make me uprise ma kilt atch yew!
Och laddie. Oop yer kilt and daen yer sporran!
I just came. GAWD I love a Scots accent….
There’s a monument in Ohio dedicated to the Union soldiers who fought in “The War of the Great Rebellion.” That was a new one on me.
More like the war of Southern douchebaggery.
Hey! That’s my kin yer talkin’ about! (well at least one branch of the tree anyway) They fought bravely fer tha’ right ta let tha’ states choose fer themselfs, indiv’djully, wha’s right fer them, instead ‘a some ginormous guv’ment full ‘o yankees tellin’ ‘em wha’ta do.
Soooo…yeah, basically you’re right.
May I introduce you to my friend, Professor Google?
So all this time… mammoths have been disguising themselves as highland cows… and I trusted them.
That’s not milk.
Notice how they’ve always been SO happy to see you?
And that’s not a trunk!
Maybe it’s just a modern fad?
Well, that just became my desktop background. Thank you!
It’s those wily Scotsmen. The rest of us all thought mammoths were extinct, but they’ve been hiding in the Highlands all along!!
I wonder if they’re hiding dinosaurs, too??
oh! That of course would explain Nessie!
And here I thought my neighbors just had a yeti cow…it scares the crap out of me every time I walk past it by mooing as loud as it possibly can…I think it loves me.
And while swade girl can’t spell, I like some of her stuff…there’s a special place in my heart for slashed up 80′s clothing. That, and I’ve been told I dress like I’m blind.
Sounds like that cow is quite bossy
Bossy, huge, terrifying and always laying in wait. And I love cows, but this one, not so sure.
I don’t know if you watch “Keeping up Appearances” but your description made me thing of Hyacinth and every time she goes by Onslow’s dog (not that you look like Hyacinth )
Something not found in an Exclusive Postal Code
That cow doesn’t sound too contented, so I wouldn’t drink any milk from her.
I think I may offer to buy her. She lives in a barren pen with hardly no room or shade and I have 4 acres with trees where she could wander around contentedly. Plus she already loves me or wants to kill me, not really sure which…
You should figure that out before you buy her. Could end tragically. Maybe she is asking you to let her live in your nicer property. It’s a moo for help.
I’m pretty sure she wants to live here, her place is just sad. My neighbor is a crazy moonshiner though so I have to tread carefully, something I’m not so good at.
When my neighbor’s horse broke into my pasture for the *third* time, I offered to keep her. (“I’ll pay the vet bills where she tore herself up on the fence, and you don’t even have to fix your fence.”)
I don’t actually recommend this form of livestock acquisition. Unless you’re interested in taking on someone else’s expenses for no reason aside from suckerism (I have a bad case), if you really want livestock, research the species you want, determine what qualities you want yours to have, and go find exactly what you want in terms of age and breed and temper. ‘Cause livestock is a money sink, especially if you take *proper* care of it: regular vet exams and vaccines, balanced diets, regular nonveterinary maintenance, injuries, illnesses…
I’m sort of levitating. here, somehow hanging in the air without a leg to stand on while giving this advice, because of the aforementioned bad case of suckerism. But seriously, don’t take on a money sink because you feel sorry for it.
Poor thing is probably lonely too (the cow, not the neighbor). Maybe you could offer the neighbor grazing rights? Hopefully it would come off as a friendly offer rather than “take care of that poor cow you pathetic sot.” Good luck.
If you do decide to bother her, the “I’ve just kind of taken a shine to her and was wondering if she was for sale, by chance.”
Just leave off the part about how a large part of the reason you’ve “taken a shine to her” is because her current owner can’t be bothered to take care of her.
The old farmer in me wants to let you know that cows moo pathetically (and loudly) when they are in heat.
That settles it then. The cow’s definitely in love.
I meant “if you decide to buy her” * headdesk*
I could blame it on auto-correct, but I’m pretty sure my nightly Valium-Vicodin cocktail is to blame.
I thought “military spirt” was part of “Don’t ask, don’t tell”.
All I know is that “military spirt” comes with one hell of a dry cleaning bill if you’re not careful.
If you’re going to spirt, you have to polish.
So now you don’t even have to glue the gears to shit to call it steampunk? That’s just vial.
Thank you daisyj, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why vile was wrong…you wouldn’t think a 4 letter word would be so hard to fukc up!
You’re going to have to try harder if you want me to be “swade” into buying your hair bow!
I don’t know, that flag looks a little off to me. But I guess if it’s Ginger Spice approved…
More likely Colonel Sanders 7 herbs & Spice approved.
A shirt to make Daisy Duke proud!
How far down in the Royal Line of Succession were the Dukes of Hazzard? I think that would have been the new Confederate Kingdom flag if Luke or Bo or Daisy got that far.
* head explodes*
I’ve had this idea in mind for years. Leave it to Regretsy to get me motivated to actually execute it:
I love it! It kind of underlines that phrase about Santa: ‘He knows who’s been naughty or nice.’
Clockwise from top: Lagerfeld, Lewis, ‘s Jr., Safina, Good Dog, Urban, Rove, Sagan, Pilkington, Hiaasen, Marx, Malone.
I only recognized Marx and Sagan, not sure what this says about me…
I recognised Marx and had a guess at Sagan. Now that you’ve given a list, I can confidently say that most of the rest are completely unknown to me.
Presumably there’s a meaning here that I’m not getting.
Thumbs up for including Safina!
I just emailed it to him, actually.
Thanks for including Good Dog Karl!
I do love a good christmas karl…!
I was thinking Karl Wreath, but that works too.
Christmas karls are what they sing in the South.
I think they sing Christmas Corals in Australia? During summer the whole place is rife with ‘em.
If you want to sing, that’s no great barrier.
I sea what you did there.
When I saw the image of a round object with flesh colored dots out of the corner of my eye, I proceeded to scroll down veeeery carefully while anticipating being goatse’d.
I guess this is what regretsy does to you if you come here daily.
Some day, when I become ridiculously wealthy, I’m going to have my Christmas wreath woven from $100 bills. Then I can have…A Wreath of Franklins.
Someday, when you become ridiculously wealthy, you should buy a totally awesome old car.
I lost it when I came to the vile earrings.
Where every prospect pleases and only jewelry is vile.
I don’t get why that was included. Those earrings are vile.@@/
Wait a minute….didn’t we just play Etsy or Regretsy? These are worse than the ones before.
and just what does the Swaziland Water and Agricultural Development Enterprise have to do with floral headbands? someone please pass me a large glass wine and a hit or two of wreather.
Anyone else misread the 4th one down as crap top?
The woolly mammoth seems trunkated.
Oh geez. They may be “vile” but I think they’re adorable. And gone, I see.
That Karl Wreath is truly awe inspiring.
Haha! The Union Jack one is definitely the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen on Etsy in a while, especially with the Spice Girls reference in the listing. I just keep picturing Ginger Spice gyrating around in a sparkly confederate flag mini dress.
I seriously needed a laugh after this shitty day. I like you already, new April.
That was definitely my favorite one too. The seller really got…involved with that listing. It’s appalling yet hilarious that they honestly think that the Confederate flag is really the Union Jack.
Every time you destroy an antique watch to use the parts in some ridiculous steampunk getup, a historian’s head explodes.
The explosion explains some of the “art” we see on Etsy.
This reminds me of the time my fiance worked at Toys R Us and this guy wouldn’t buy a remote control car with the Union Jack on it because he was thoroughly convinced it was the confederate flag. They seriously argued about this. Oh the derps you get working retail. Sometimes I miss it, then I smarten up.
Perfect for one of my favorite Carols “Angels we have heard are High”
What a wonderful welcome home. “Hi darling, since you’ve been gone I’ve started dressing our daughter in outfits made from hideous pillowcases and electrical tape. Surprise!!”
Howdy Folks. I’m the photographer for Woolly Mammoth (which by the way is also a correct spelling. Look it up if you don’t believe me. I did because when I spelled it with one L I got a spelling flag). This is one of a group of Scottish Highland Cattle (not a YAK) as someone tried to tell me this morning. “Woolly Mammoth” is the NAME of the picture. I’m not that stupid. HOWEVER, thank you for some of the most hilarious reading I’ve done in a long time AND the tremendous attention to my page I’ve received. Though I tagged the picture as Scottish Highland Cattle, I didn’t put it in the description. It’s there NOW. My bad. But mostly I’d like to thank you all for making me FAMOUS. I’m getting hits like CRAZY. WHEEEEEEE!!! By the way, I love this site. I come here at least 3 times a week. And to be FEATURED here (for something so silly no less) was a tremendous honor. THANK YOU!
Y’know what I love even better than Regretsy? A seller that has been featured and rises to the occasion with humor – I’m off to favorite your shop and check out your other items. ♥
I had to read the “vile” steampunk title twice before picking up on the spelling! Sad, but it IS before noon on a Saturday. I’ve been visiting this site for months and finally created a login.
The Woolly Mammoth title was fun. It DID make me read the description and ya gotta admit – the fuzzy cows do look like modern-day mammoths of a sort.
I also have to admit that this site is why I try so hard to check my spelling on my Etsy listings, even though the publicity would be tough to beat.
Anybody read Thurber? The essay “What Do You Mean It WAS Brillig?” is about his maid coming in to tell him that “They are here with the reeves,” (you know, the reeves for the windas), and his inability to decipher such phrases as “Do you want cretonnes in the soup?”
I was wondering if anyone else knew about Della’s “reeves.” (And that’s NOT a “Touched by an Angel” joke — Thurber’s maid was named Della.) In our [admittedly insane] family, the round things you put on the doors/windows/wherever at Christmas have ALWAYS been “reeves.”
I just read that, just now. OMG, it was brilliant. I must read more of this mans body of work.
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