- Submitted by Cortney
HARDLY used. Bwahahahaa!
Yeah, how do they know it’s sturdy?
Believe me, it’s VERY easy to tell. You know a well-worn one the second you sit down on it. Wait, are we still talking about sofas?
Every time I hear that *squish*
I know I’m home.
That’s not all that was hidden between the seat cushions!
Yeah, I wouldn’t be bragging about that!!
perhaps they meant it to be pronounced coom, like cum laude? rather than cum, as in cum loudly.
Give this one the prize!
Oooooooooooh! Thanks so much for clarifying. NOW we get it!!!!
I thought they were both pronounced the same. Maybe that’s why people giggle when I brag about my brother’s degree…
I’ll take “oddly immature pretentious people who’ll use any excuse to use the word ‘cum’” for $500, Alex.
Hell, that’s enough for two and a half sofa cum beds!
Answer: This British pop group may have had ulterior motives by suggesting the title of their hit song be “Come on Eileen”.
What is Dexy and the Midnight Runners.
I’ll Take “Whimsicle Fuckery” for $800.
He said: “Govern Yourself According;y”
Who is some underpaid bench builder in Bali pretending to be a collective?
I’ll take “Tampons and Ironic Owls” for 1000 Alex
I should know better than to read the comments here when I am at work. Good thing I know better than to eat or drink while doing so. I am honestly laughing out loud at these.
It might have belonged to this guy: http://waukesha.patch.com/articles/waukesha-man-charged-after-having-sex-with-a-couch
The old crotch-couch-crouch. Classic.
It’s always nice to have a dedicated piece of furniture for guests and special activities.
*wink wink nudge nudge*
Latin? I googled ‘cum’ and that’s not what I got.
Do a google image search. That should produce the results you’re looking for.
Nah, I won’t grow up… hee hee
For Sale, Cum bed, Hardly Used.
Hey I graduated college magna cum loudly!!
Love the literary cum jokes.
I’m dying, honestly, that was so funny I can’t breath.
It’s a sofa cum bed because you have to pull it out.
It’s weird, though, because you have to pull it out over and over before it actually pulls all the way out.
One of the usual bar trivia teams I play against around here is called “My Sofa Pulls Out But I Don’t”
Best comment ever.
I lurk, waiting for chances to post my favourite limerick, which I wrote and in which I take great pride…..you do have cast your minds back a few years to that “Chant” recording by the Spanish monks, and think of the old Latin mass…well, heck, here we go:
There was a young monk of Madrid
Who had trouble controlling his id
In chapel while chanting
He found himself panting
And when they sang “et cum”….he did.
It’s for dancing, Officer, I swear!
horizontally, of course
This is part of the new line of bodily fluids furniture by Ickea.
I really like the 9 months bit. It adds that certain sumthing to the cum-thing, tee hee.
I thought I was the only one who caught that. Makes you wonder if they are selling it to pay for the baby that’s on the way?
Literally ON THE WAY, as in “Catch the placenta! We can sell it on Etsy as ‘supplies’!”
Nice catch there! No pun intended. Honestly.
Just so long as it respects me in the morning.
“Say it faster. Faster. Wait, not so fast. Loses meaning that way.”
Your reference makes me smile…I take it you are more comfortable with dead chicken?
I’ve certainly stayed in a few hotels that had cum beds. A black-light confirmed my suspicions.
If they spell out the number 6 and use an E instead of an I, and the slogan is “We’ll leave the black light off for you” it isn’t Motel 6. Don’t stay there.
The guy told me it was “Motel 8-1/2″, but I figured he was bragging and that it was really Motel 6. Turns out, it was Motel 3.
When you pick up a model, always find out what scale they are!
I stayed in “Motel 9-1/2 Weeks” – they rent the rooms by the hour.
I’ve heard of them–don’t they also include a complimentary buffet right in the room?
I stayed at Motel Se7en. They serve breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed but are kind of judgmental. I still don’t know what’s in the box, though.
Please, continue writing today. And find a way to make me forget this comment of yours.
I really should’ve guessed what Motel 69 was going to be like before I stayed there. I can be so naive sometimes, you know?
Shit, I’d buy this if it’s still available. Couch sex = AWESOME. Besides, it looks like leather/vinyl. That’s pretty easy to clean. Lol
“As featured on Dateline, NBC.”
“I’m Chris Hansen. Have a seat.”
During college, my roommate and I agreed to ‘Keep to the futon a futon, not a fuck-ton’.
Seller does not seem to have had the same rule.
Maybe that’s the correct term for a “casting couch”.
My old roomate used to put candy wrappers inbetween the couch cushions. Does that mean I had a leather sofa cum dumpster?
Et tu, Booty-call?
This man has a lean and horny look.
Can’t see what people are complaining about. It is about time we had more truth in advertising. That being said, anyone in a market for a stick cum dildo? If so, do I have a shop for you!
Leather sofa cum bed for sale, as seen in the films “Romancing the Bone”, “Full Metal Jackoff”, “Das Butt” and “Forrest Hump”. In great shape, except for high-heel dents and some mottled color. Own a piece of film history!
Not featured in such films as “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Couch”, “The Impotence of Being Ernest” and, of course, “Porn Free”.
It also wan’t in “Lord of the G-String” and “Planet of the Babes”
It wasn’t featured in those but might have had a wank-on role.
It was more of a sit-part actor, really.
You mean like an XXXtra?
I believe it also had a part in Octopussy, Acockolypse Now, and Frisky Business.
Just the fact that it says 9 months old makes me wonder…
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It is Latin, but it’s still wrong. In Latin, “cum” doesn’t mean “becomes” or even “come.” It means “with.”
I teach Middle School Latin. They love this shit. They also love the verb that means “he does”: facit. Or its imperative form, which is simply, “Fac!” And let’s not forget the hours of entertainment provided by the imperative form of the verb which means “to lead”: “Dic!” It never gets old (yes it does).
I work at an antique restoration place called The Strip Joint. That joke never gets old, either (yes it does).
Eleanor Burns has published a few books with the running joke “Still Stripping!” She makes quilts and I never want to see her in pasties.
Oh, come on. Elanor would be cute with tassels on her nipples. Especially when she’s throwing scrap cloth over her shoulder. (yes, I’ve seen her videos)
By “seen her videos”, do you mean “own her entire video collection”?
By “own her entire video collection” do you mean “have spy cameras throughout her house and workplace”?
by “have spy cameras throughout her house and workplace”, do you mean “keep her in a basement well and starve her to loosen her skin and use it as a vest”?
If by “keep her in a basement and starve her to loosen her skin and use it in a vest” do you mean you are the new designer at Bohemian Smiles?
I always preferred facio, myself.
If you sit in Starbucks all day writing your “novel” while nursing a single cup of coffee…you might be a douchebag.
If you insist on dressing up your tiny dog in elaborate, expensive outfits and then exclaim “look, he likes it!” while it bites at it, desperately trying to rip it off itself…you might be a douchebag.
If you use Latin in your Craigslist ad…you might be a douchebag. In this case an unintentionally hilarious douchebag.
Hyphens would have helped: sofa-cum-bed. Not what i’d've put, but then I’m fluent in vernacular as well as Latin.
My well-thought out and classy comment about my reaction to this post’s title follows below:
Reminds me of the track Electric Relaxation Thing by A Tribe Called Quest. Phife has a lyric that goes ” Let me hit it from the back, girl I won’t catch a hernia
Bust off on your couch, now you got Seaman’s Furniture”
Seaman’s was a New York furniture chain.
Just 9 months old…
Apparently someone didn’t pull out as successfully as the sofa bed.
Oh hey, I had one of those in college! It’s very convenient for sleepovers.
No thanks. I slept on enough cum sofas when I was in college.
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