This post first appeared on Regretsy in October of 2011
UPDATE: Bonus brilliance left in the comments
Mmm, just the thought of the according self-governance is getting me all creamy and whimsicle…
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Well, as the Monty Pythons say, there’s one born every minute.
This takes me back to a crazy/brilliant/frustrating/entertaining incident I had with a person on ebay…It’s so easy to get caught up in these ridiculous things! I felt myself puffing up like a damn puffer fish every time the loony toon emailed me, it was nuts. It was like I was possessed.
Thanks for the memories!!!
I have a friend who does a great deal of furniture selling on eBay who got a bit of negative feedback (privately) from a purchaser. It was the typical delusional, “ever since I bought from you my farts don’t smell like raspberry sherbert, anymore, and it’s your fault” garbage, but it was still irritating so my friend checked out what else this person bought and found that they – an older married midwestern businessman – had a habit of not only buying porn video tapes (yes, video tapes) but going as far as to review and comment on his purchases.
So in his final reply to the gentleman my friend worked in partial and complete titles of said porn tapes, including ‘It’s so Hot in California…” and “Sorry for the delay; I was at the cheerleader’s car wash…”, etc.
The dispute was resolved.
THANK YOU for this hilarious story!
If you want to convince someone that you are not condescending, I would recommend you not use the word “Nonsense” when replying to them.
I can just see a portrait of Queen Victoria captioned “We are not condescending at all.”
That’s the one! Thanks for making it happen in your artistic ability!
I agree. Poppycock is much more suitable.
I prefer “balderdash” myself.
And toss in a “people like you” for variety.
What the hey? Go all European on them and toss in the occasional “Bollocks” just to see if they get it.
Is balderdash actually a term that gets used? To me, it is strictly the boardgame.
If this is considered harassment, what do they call the actions of everyone here?
Maybe we are assaulting their good name?
Why would you buy from someone with 23 negatives?
To develop into 23 photos?
23 negs in 12,200 transactions actually isn’t bad.
(Not that I’m defending the seller or anything. Just sayin’. )
Very true. And I always read into the negative reviews when I see them, because some people will give a negative review if they order the wrong item or don’t read the description properly, if they make mistakes when using it, if it doesn’t magically create peace on earth, etc.
As a seller, I hated it when someone made no attempt to contact me before leaving a negative review. Of course, when I saw it and wrote the buyer, it was to offer a refund or replacement rather than condescending assholery.
Most negative feedback are basically just tiny easily resolvable problems that are blown totally out of proportion.
I can see why the seller got rubbed all wrong over what is essentially a petty neutral, but yeah… the weirdly long and condescending response is just unprofessional and odd.
We saw your nuetral and raise it by five.
But has anyone seen my nutria?
and why am I having Bob Barker in my head saying “spay and nueter” your animals?
My name is B. Jones and I am the lawyer for ________.
This is to notify you that you are being charged with harassment, for replying to my clients’ harassing emails after they suggested you not reply.
We will be serving you with the papers on Monday. In the meantime, I suggest you do not reply to this email. OR ELSE.
B. Jones, Attorney At Law
I’m amazed at how many etsy sellers seem to have lawyers on retainers!
I think it’s only a matter of time before someone opens a Law Firm “shop” on etsy.
The feedback thing could get even worse, because you know, lawyers. But at least there wouldn’t be any neutral.
Pissen & Mohnen – Attorneys at Law “There, there, there, we will make the bad person leave you alone.”
Maybe they just have retainers and got confused?
Given the number of unemployed law-school grads, I am not suprised that some of them are friends with the unemployed Art History grads.
“We saw your nuetral” = my new name for my wifi connection.
What deliciously bumptious butthurt.
Speaking as someone who IS a “professional picture framer”?
Look, I agree and approve of the idea of “leaving room” around the margins so it can be matted when the piece is done on paper – leaving the print pressed up against the glass is not good for it, it can trap humidity right against the print and cause ink transfer or worse, mold/mildew growth, etc.
So, they’re not full of bs on that point – it’s a good idea to leave a little extra room. It’s a good idea to mat it to a larger frame size.
BUT… don’t claim the “print size” is 8×10! Measure the damn paper AND the image size, you lazy fucks. And if the paper size varies because it’s only on “antique paper” but a regular print… then say “image size # x #, paper size varies”.
I mean seriously. Am I the only person who was always taught that you make a listing with as much accurate detail as possible?
no, but you’re probably one of the few who actually does it correctly.
What a PSYCHOTIC BITCH. I really hope she saw this post, and I WELCOME her to have her lawyer contact.
I hate bad customer service more than I dislike crap that is being sold. If I had money to shit on, I’d probably buy some of her junk just with the sole purpose of leaving a negative comment, but alas, I’d rather buy painted rocks from another seller who would at least have a better attitude.
And when will these schizoids learn to shut the fuck up about neutral feedback and just be happy the person didn’t ask for their money back?
That is how I see it too. “Neutral” just means “meh”, it is neither a surprisingly bad transaction nor a surprisingly good one, just ok, as anticipated, average… but the cupcakes are so used to each other’s “omg you are soooo talented!” bs that they think “neutral” is a bad thing.
In both of their replies, I see where one of them should have ceased to reply to the other’s reply. Which is the wrong reply, and which is the right reply? If I Should reply, and then you reply to my reply, garnering another reply, do we all then open ourselves to further replies? When is a reply not reply, but a response? And does a response warrant a reaction or a retort?
Please, Someone respond to my reply in a reasonable way.
Depends on your POV. I think the seller initial response wasn’t just condescending but incredibly rude and bitchy. The buyers response to that was measured and apropriate. The seller’s response to that was very nasty. Seller escalated to calling the buyer names and was abusive to her. Did the seller think she could just figuratively tell the buyer to fuck off and shut up? The seller just wanted to have the last word.
I really like your shop, Mr Potter.
Me, too. The okra mug is fantastic!
FUCK YOU DANNY
What’s going to happen when Regretsy runs out of things to repost?
Oh honey, there is no shortage of fuckery or stupid shit on Etsy. HK could post all day if she didn’t have a life. I used to half expect a feature myself.
Wickedheart – You do deserve to be featured. Under ‘freakin awesome’. I need me some of those cupcake lady-part coverings!
Thank you. The “pastries” are one of my personal favorites.
Truer gifs have never been posted, Mystic.
It’s the weekend.
It’s called the weekend, sweetheart. Do YOU work every day of the week?
Dammit, Bronc beat me to it.
Like, what will happen when we run out of sun?
But… that’ll actually happen
I’m banking on the geothermal death of the planet, myself…
This is why it’s a bad idea to give anything away for free. Someone will always get their panties in a bunch as though they had paid extra for it and you did them wrong. It’s the reason why I never expedite, do not change the price for large bulk orders, and very rarely will do a special order.
Sort of funny that you thought of it as me complaining. I like the reposts. I was just honestly wondering what would happen if the reposts caught up with current posts. Sounds more like you’re cranky and expect others to be too, lol.
You’ve got to learn to survive the poor understanding of certain kinds of jokes from the side of the readers around here…
“certain kinds of jokes”
You mean the kind that aren’t actually funny or even in any way clear that they ARE jokes?
As long as there are more new posts than reposts, the reposts will never “catch up.” Or… she can start over at the beginning and re-re-post.
Or… did you actually not want to know what would happen when Regretsy “runs out of things to repost?”
Oh quit backpedaling and cop to it. And quit putting “lol” on the end of every line. That shit doesn’t even make sense.
oops, that wasn’t meant for you, Shimmyya
yeah i stopped doing custom orders long ago! lot less stress lol
you ask me for something custom, i send a picture, and you still leave negative feedback or bitchy emails. i fucking sent you a picture, and you agreed it looked good. why bitch once its in your hands?!
The SNARKAPALYSPE! Pray you don’t live to see the day!
Ummm… I do. I want to see the four horsemen of the Snarkapalypse: Misunderstood Sarcasm, Whimsicle Fuckery, Butthurt, and People Covered in Fish (formerly Grievous Bodily Harm) I really, really do.
You’re new, eh? April is entitled to weekends off, just like everyone else. Weekend Flashbacks are a staple around here. I mean… the woman *does* have a day job of voice acting awesomeness, plus running Regretsy. On top of that, one expects that she’s got a riveting social life us FJLs would envy.
I had a buyer on eBay once leave me a neutral, because her bank didn’t want to play nice with my bank. Knowing my bank can be difficult, I sent the $5 pair of earrings to her anyway, because I felt bad she’d been messed around. Her response was to leave me neutral feedback and no thanks for the earrings. Some people suck.
But her feedback had nothing to do with my item or description, which was what shat me! lol! But I agree to make sure your listing has as much detail as possible, measure, measure and measure again.
If any of this was forwarded to Etsy as threatened I am quite sure Etsy did absolutely nothing about it.
Nothing says serious business like having an owl threatening legal action. I wonder if it’s “layer” has watch parts and glitter glues to him/her.
Is the seller aware of this regretsy post? I sure hope so, I’d love to see her forward this to a lawyer and serve Helen papers “at her place of business.”
Do I go with a “where she does her business” joke, or a “serve” joke?
Let’s just send the process server to a ladies’ room during happy hour and have both.
This sort of rudeness makes me MAD! I don’t think the buyer was unreasonable to ask for an accurate measurement, or even just a word in the description about variation on sizing. If I received that sort of customer service, why, I’d be donning my vigilante gear. Like, a ninja suit and some loo paper and maybe a picture of myself mooning to post through their letterbox or something.
I’D BRING EM DOWWWNNN
So why does the seller’s shop page say 100% feedback and when you actually go to the feedback page there is 23 negatives and 26 neutrals? Etsy math I guess!
How do you know it says 100%? There is no link to the store.
Seriously, I don’t get it. I read the post three times now and found no clue about this. Also, I’d expect a 99% to appear in this case.
Not Etsy math, just ordinary, correct math.
If the seller has 12200 sales and 49 non-positive feedbacks:
Which will round down to 0 because it is less than half a percent.
Yes, yes I am a pedantic math nerd. Etsy may be idiots, but their math is correct.
…and you were not conescending at all.
no, really, you weren’t
Being condescending is what I’m good at. If only I could sell it on Etsy.
Ok, I’m more and more curious and care less and less about thumbs.
Where can you people see the seller’s feedback? Please?
There is a link to the shop in the comments on the original 2011 post:
Apparently she’s made 18202 sales now she only has 0.269% non-positive feedback. My original data was out of date. Condescend at me accordingly.
It wasn’t hard to find her – not too many people making what she’d made. I actually ordered something of hers for my grandson, and left harmlessly critical neutral feedback, hoping to hear from her lawyer (I have no social life). Alas..no reply.
Granted, by the time I wrote my reply, it was months later, time enough for her estrogen therapy treatments to have leveled. (did that not sound like a menopausal rant?)
Don’t be hard on menopause, we’ll all get there one day
You lie! My dad never went through menopause!
I’m betting he did. Maybe not in his own body, but I’m sure the side effects and symptoms from the women in his life were plenty irritating for him.
I’m always delighted to read about the utter horseshit people inflict on total strangers when they can do so with complete and blissful anonymity – probably because my daily job consists of being hectored, cussed out, and screamed at for upward of 8 hours a day by phone. Oh, and sometimes in writing, leading to my proudly posted “Wall of Shame.” My favorite exchange happened a few years ago when a gentleman worked himself up into such a froth that he screamed, “Are you fucking retarded?!?!” (3…2…1) “Sir, is that a rhetorical question?” Next order of business? Get myself a layer on retainer.
Sounds like this seller could use a good layer.
You can borrow mine if you want, but he’ll make you show him on a doll of the internet where the bad man emailed you.
I have such a hard time believing this is a real exchange, even though I’m sure it is. It still blows my mind a year later.
Why go into business selling shit to people if you’re an insecure, whiny bitch? Seriously?
If I were the respondent, I’d post the entire exchange in the feedback so people would know what to expect. This isn’t just a random negative… it was EARNED.
I’ll see your Nuetral, and raise you a Neagtive!
Did anyone notice that the positive reviews on the seller’s feedback page are all a bit… repetitive?
And this is different from the rest of Etsy why?
How did we all miss the seller’s STEAMPUNK contribution?
Gah. I know better and … you made me look, curse you BillsB.
Hmmm. Having an Etsy shop is cheaper than a therapist and anger management classes, cheaper than Paxil, cheaper than “acting out” at your favorite bar/club/sports event, cheaper than a trip to the ER when somebody else is more hostile than you are. Such a deal. Run out of pills? Just fling something misleading out there for sale and wait, like a black widow spider under the seat of an outhouse. The thought makes me want to heat up the ol’ glue gun and stick junk to trash.
A year later and the seller still only says:
Print Size: The page size is 8 x 10 inches or 20.3 x 25.4 cm.
For the size.
For the curious, I have compiled all of the Neutral Feedback:
got an elephant instead! but my old granny loved it
The paper from the book was really cool, but my giraffe is pixeled…you can tell it was just printed on…but the concept and way it’s put togeather is really cool
I wanted the one with Australia map which showed on the picture, instead, I received the one with France being in the middle.
Pretty please specify that the printing is digital and done from a printer! I was under the impression it was going to be printed on using a different method, all in all, the art was beautiful and my mother loved it. The shipping took a long while, though.
Takes quite a while to have it delivered hope it arrives some day.
poor print quality, not very please with ship time at all for what I got
Bummed the print was poor quality. Not really worth $10. Not giving it as a gift now.
Bummed that the quality of the print was poor. Pixels!
Very cute, but very over priced for what it is…
I love this, but the printed image is a bit blurry. Still happy to own it!
We like the print, but there is some minor pixelation in the elephant. It’s not noticeable from far off. The print was shipped nicely and came in great condition. It’s a cute picture and it’s neat having it on vintage book paper. : )
Here is the Negative Feedback:
So rude when all I wanted was another print that wasn’t screwed up. Seller poorly and cheaply packages these prints and then gave me a 24 hour time limit to respond to them on labor day weekend. Didn’t work for me. Think I’ll make my own now. since i cant have the one i paid for. can’t be that hard right?
Damaged in the transport
BUYER BEWARE!! Print I bought was sloppily printed so that image is crooked and “floating” on the page, when it’s supposed to appear as though it extends beyond the frame. Also, was packed and shipped poorly so it arrived damaged. Contacted seller to organize replacement. They are the RUDEST, most DISGUSTING people I have every dealt with. On a $12 order that was damaged and printed badly at (admittedly) their fault, they refused to either replace or refund and then sent a nasty, threatening email. DO NOT BUY from them if you ever expect any kind of customer service. I’m sure all will be well if your order has no problems but if you go back and read comments from anyone who has had an issue with their order, all comments are the same — these people are TERRIBLE. STAY AWAY.
I never received it
I received damaged product from this shop and they refused to replace the item or take responsibility to not appropriately protecting their product.
BEWARE!!!!! Extremely rude seller. I enquired about my missing parcel and was told it was my problem. They did not offer to help me in anyway whatsoever. I had asked for the parcel to be sent to my Mum’s address as she is home all the time to receive parcels. During checkout there is an option to choose the address the parcel is to be shipped so clearly within the rules of Etsy. The address I chose was my Mum’s address – the address was not some random stranger I could not trust. Regardless of whether the order was to be sent to my residence or my Mum’s, the fact remains it has not turned up at either address. Seller was extremely rude during each and every email and was not at all sympathetic to the situation.
this feedback cont.
I put in a paypal dispute and heard nothing from the seller nor have I ever received the order. An extremely negative experience and my first on Etsy. Thankfully sellers like this on Etsy are rare indeed.
Print was great, but the sellers themselves were extremely rude throughout the process. I didn’t receive my package for over three weeks and whenever I would send them a message the overall tone was one of poor customer service and rude “bedside manner”. Although they did work with me, I always felt as if I were a bother to them and they constantly acted superior, using quotation marks to empthasize that I, the buyer, was wrong.
Unbelievably rude !!!
Very grumpy lady ordered some prints and they where printed on questionable text of a book me tined it to her, and she kinda freaked out in an email baack to me. It’s a shame because the prints are lovely and would have ordered more. Butworried about having to deal with such a sour personality !
The topics on the book page were as follows revenge riches satire shame sin slander self denial Check to see what page she is printing on! It was a gift and was too embarressed to give it because of the subject matter of the vintage page
The owl is very pixelated and to be honest when I read that something is printed I think screen printed. So when I bought this to find out that this was computer printed, I was pretty bummed out. oh well.
Very Rude. Will not work with customer over shipping misunderstanding.
Admittedly I neglected to thoroughly read the shipping policies, however when I contacted the seller, instead of politely pointing me to the page I had missed, I was told that “You probably should not have ordered through us” if I didnt agree with their policies. Don’t worry BlackBaroque, I won’t anymore! A simple misunderstanding ruined by a terrible response. Not impressed.
What kills me about this exchange is that the seller initiated it–then has the nerve to say “Stop replying!!!11eleven” when they don’t immediately bend to their will.
Hmmm, BlackBaroque featured on a BBC news article today methinks….
can you pleaaaase show the shop names. please!! =)
wonder what conversation went on with the negative reviewers lmao
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