I trying to imagine what kind of outfit, genre of person, hairstyle, age group, and occasion this item is appropriate accessory for. Thus far it has ended in fail…
Wait, wait!
No.
I’m thinking steampunk librarian, the kind that wears brown cords with her gear encrusted monocle.
Okay, sellers, here it is again.
Compliment: an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration.
Complement: something that completes or makes perfect.
Unless the textured areas are telling the buff-colored bark how nice it looks today, you mean complement.
I wonder if I could make a living suing companies who write “complimentary” instead of “complementary” in their marketing material. There’s loads of them, and wouldn’t they have to give me their stuff for free then?
This is actually from an public service ad meant to enlighten trees about the dangers of contracting dutch elm disease.
The tagline was – “Don’t bark up the wrong tree!”
Looks like torture/murder evidence. The victim had their knuckles rubbed against sand paper, then had their fingers slowly chopped off, section by section. This is the knuckle of their left pointer. Yeah, that’s it.
I was thinking it looked more like a stump of a cigar that rolled under a Dumpster then a rat gnawed on it. But Hobo Bunghole would have been my second guess.
September 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm
looks like a knuckle with a wart to me.
September 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm
I agree with you on the wart part.
September 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Um…I think that one that looks like that might need a doctor’s attention.
(Waiting for a skilled Photoshopper to create the Goatse version of this bracelet. YOU ALL KNOW IT’S COMING, EXPECT IT.)
September 21, 2012 at 5:11 pm
I want to. I so want to but I I have to leave for work in 5 minutes.
September 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm
Awe fuckit! I had a few minutes.
Not my best work.
September 21, 2012 at 6:33 pm
You came through. First across the finish line. Virtual cookie win.
September 21, 2012 at 11:02 pm
Ass, and you shall receive.
September 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm
I think I just found the final piece to my Lorena Bobbitt shrine.
September 22, 2012 at 6:48 am
September 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I trying to imagine what kind of outfit, genre of person, hairstyle, age group, and occasion this item is appropriate accessory for. Thus far it has ended in fail…
Wait, wait!
No.
I’m thinking steampunk librarian, the kind that wears brown cords with her gear encrusted monocle.
September 22, 2012 at 3:29 am
The “I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay” person.
September 22, 2012 at 9:40 am
Steampunk first-nations-appropriated librarian. Or possibly a neolithic sex-therapist.
“Tell Oona what make you sad and why you no make zug-zug.”
September 21, 2012 at 4:47 pm
it looks like the kind of pustule that aliens or insects emerge from in sci-fi films
September 22, 2012 at 9:42 am
THIS. I’m expecting spiders to burst out any second. (we’ve both obviously seen too many of those films)
September 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Why not Aspen? Silly shop owner, Aspens are better
September 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm
thanks fellow Michigander for solidifying our already Homer-esque stature
September 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Okay, sellers, here it is again.
Compliment: an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration.
Complement: something that completes or makes perfect.
Unless the textured areas are telling the buff-colored bark how nice it looks today, you mean complement.
September 21, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Beat me to it!
September 22, 2012 at 3:32 am
I wonder if I could make a living suing companies who write “complimentary” instead of “complementary” in their marketing material. There’s loads of them, and wouldn’t they have to give me their stuff for free then?
September 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm
It looks like it might be from that fashion designer, Tommy Stinkfinger.
September 21, 2012 at 6:15 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
September 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm
If you look at it long enough…. it starts to stare back at you.
It’s giving people stink eye.
September 21, 2012 at 6:47 pm
This cuff knows your nightmares…
September 21, 2012 at 5:03 pm
This is actually from an public service ad meant to enlighten trees about the dangers of contracting dutch elm disease.
The tagline was – “Don’t bark up the wrong tree!”
September 21, 2012 at 5:03 pm
It’s a specialty medical bracelet for people with crapal tunnel.
September 21, 2012 at 7:04 pm
Or Assburgers.
September 21, 2012 at 5:04 pm
I’m rooting for the artist.
September 21, 2012 at 6:50 pm
What made you deciduous in favor of it?
September 21, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Leaf her alone! She’s been pining for that artist for years. She even made a ring, just in case they meet in person and fall in love.
Mystik- don’t worry about Zippy. He’s all bark, no bite.
September 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm
Wooden you want to know these things?
September 21, 2012 at 8:45 pm
I’m lichen this idea.
September 21, 2012 at 11:05 pm
Don’t give it up, Mystik, until you’ve been properly woo’d.
2 wood puns, somebody log it.
September 23, 2012 at 12:41 am
I seed what you did there… You are such a fungi!
September 22, 2012 at 6:41 am
it’s bark is worse than it’s byte.
September 21, 2012 at 5:12 pm
I want to know how she knows what a bum’s turd-cutter looks like…but not really.
September 21, 2012 at 5:26 pm
I am wondering why it would need to be highlighted in gold. Does that make it a precious turd cutter?
September 21, 2012 at 5:17 pm
What did we all learn today? ALWAYS USE LUBE!
September 21, 2012 at 5:26 pm
Metamucil is your friend!
September 21, 2012 at 5:18 pm
http://i.imgur.com/Ex8EN.jpg
September 21, 2012 at 5:19 pm
If you wear this cuff in the forest, can anyone hear you fail?
September 21, 2012 at 5:21 pm
whoops…
September 21, 2012 at 5:50 pm
The asshole of Sauron.
September 21, 2012 at 5:52 pm
I sphincter sense of fashion is a bit too far out on the branch for me…
September 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm
I bought one of these at a trunk show.
September 21, 2012 at 7:03 pm
It stumps me how you always come up with such good ones.
September 21, 2012 at 7:48 pm
She ain’t no sap. She’s a clever birch.
September 21, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Ewww Carbuncle….
September 21, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Looks like torture/murder evidence. The victim had their knuckles rubbed against sand paper, then had their fingers slowly chopped off, section by section. This is the knuckle of their left pointer. Yeah, that’s it.
September 21, 2012 at 6:11 pm
Just what I want in an accessory: gold, earthy, looks like a cats butt-hole…..
September 21, 2012 at 6:44 pm
If my cat’s butthole looked like that, I’d be taking him to the vet pronto.
September 21, 2012 at 7:00 pm
Somebody tell “Wicca Wombyn” her power bracelets are ready. And that her invisible broom just makes her look funny when she’s riding it.
September 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm
I dunno…Looks more like a compound fracture to me..
September 21, 2012 at 8:17 pm
This needs a Rear Gear, STAT!
September 21, 2012 at 8:55 pm
I was thinking it looked more like a stump of a cigar that rolled under a Dumpster then a rat gnawed on it. But Hobo Bunghole would have been my second guess.
September 21, 2012 at 11:22 pm
When you look closely at this, you can see that it is, in fact, an eye. It’s what you might call a brown-eye.
Back to the gin.
September 22, 2012 at 12:18 am
I think that’s a condition called rectal prolapse, or, as I find appropriate in this situation, “trunk-ass”
September 22, 2012 at 7:41 am
It looks like a nipple after Hannibal Lecter got done with it.
September 22, 2012 at 9:17 am
I think I’m going to have to steal “a bum’s turd-cutter” from you… that, for some reason, made me laugh.
January 9, 2013 at 2:11 am
hmmmmm…. your “bum turd-cutter” comment is an instant 11 year old maker. because every time i read it, i giggle uncontrollably.
bum turd-cutter
hee hee hee…
see?