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More Faked Status Updates

37 comments on More Faked Status Updates

  1. Angel Laveaux
    September 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    More, please.

    Thumb up Thumb down +123

  2. GypsyRoseMe
    September 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    OMG, these are the best. Some site somewhere has a bunch of historical figures posting on Facebook, like Lincoln and Jesus…it’s hysterical.

    Oh yeah, I can find it myself…
    http://coolmaterial.com/roundup/if-historical-events-had-facebook-statuses/

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

    • Easily_Distracted
      September 20, 2012 at 3:05 pm

      Some of those are hilarious! Thanks for the link!

      Thumb up Thumb down +5

    • sfcount
      September 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

      Holy freakin’ god, Gypsy! Those are hysterical!

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • Snootchy Bootches
      September 21, 2012 at 8:51 am

      My husband and I read that and now say “cockroach” instead of “whatevs.”

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

  3. shimmyya
    September 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Can we get a photoshop of Dean’s Swarovski-ed taint on some barn wood? Somebody? Anybody?

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  4. 5feline5
    September 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    I feel like I should share some LOLCats now. Business as usual at Facebook.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  5. Progurt
    September 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    Very nice.

    I was at a WBC counter-protest once with a Guy Fawkes mask and a “God Hates Figs” sign, with the Bible verse reference on it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

    • Mapleleaves
      September 20, 2012 at 4:10 pm

      I’m going to pretend that when I quoted that passage and said “God Hates Figs” in a comment here months ago it was the first time anyone had ever thought of it and put it in writing.

      So, Nyah.

      Thumb up Thumb down +12

      • Glasgow
        September 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

        I have it copyrighted so you better cease and desist.

        Thumb up Thumb down +9

        • Postmenopaws ™
          September 20, 2012 at 10:28 pm

          I’m gonna voluntarily paint over all of your posts, claim copyright to the paint-overs, and demand money if you share them.

          Thumb up Thumb down +6

        • crispyduck13
          September 21, 2012 at 2:04 pm

          You just squandered a perfect ‘crease and desist’ opportunity there. Crushed my dreams too.

          Thumb up Thumb down +1

  6. Vagrarian
    September 20, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Oh, that’s so fiendish. Love it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  7. inmediasres
    September 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

    Oh, Luke Perry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  8. Easily_Distracted
    September 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    I SMELL CONTEST.

    Thumb up Thumb down +55

  9. HighlandRose
    September 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    Freakin’ amazing. Night is made.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  10. gimlet_eyes
    September 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Fuck me, I actually tried to “Like” Obama’s FAKE status.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

    • foofoothesnoo
      September 20, 2012 at 3:38 pm

      Dude, me too. Actually, it was Mwai Kibaki’s. Bahahaha!

      For the record, I actually do believe that President Obama was indeed born in the United States. Surprisingly to some, a lot of black people are in fact born here!

      Thumb up Thumb down +32

      • pearlheartgtr
        September 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

        You mean he wasn’t brought here in the hull of a ship?

        Thumb up Thumb down +5

        • Glasgow
          September 20, 2012 at 5:51 pm

          No he was born in the Middle East and sneaked in. Hence the name.
          You say Osama I say Obama…
          Lets call the whole thing off!

          Thumb up Thumb down +7

          • Badger
            September 20, 2012 at 6:37 pm

            Actually, according to Rush Limbaugh, he’s not even black because his parents weren’t brought over as slaves. Don’t try and figure it out-like most of what Limbaugh says, it was pulled out his ass on the spur of the moment, and I suspect that’s where it went back to.

            Thumb up Thumb down +19

    • Mapleleaves
      September 20, 2012 at 4:15 pm

      It’s a fake. That update was actually made by Chet Arthur.

      Thumb up Thumb down +4

      • Mapleleaves
        September 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

        Thank you to the one person who got that.

        Thumb up Thumb down +2

        • Zippy
          September 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm

          It didn’t get it but I trust you.

          Thumb up Thumb down +12

          • Mapleleaves
            September 21, 2012 at 11:25 am

            Chester Alan Arthur was born in Vermont but spent much of his presidential campaign fighting accusations he was actually Canadian.

            Contrast with today, where any American tourist with the sense to wear long pants and real shoes tries to claim they’re from Canada.

            Thumb up Thumb down +5

  11. thecreightonberyl
    September 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

    Mitch McConnell will be chiming in on Rick Santorum’s post, once his wife’s asleep.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  12. Anonymys
    September 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Lost it at God hates figs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  13. 6eisha
    September 20, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    AARGH. American-specific hilarious-looking post.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

    • BluePanda
      September 20, 2012 at 4:49 pm

      Yeah, I’d laugh, if I knew what it was about. The only one I understand is the birth certificate one.

      They do look funny though. Do I care enough to research? Probably.

      Thumb up Thumb down +6

    • TreeHuggies
      September 20, 2012 at 8:49 pm

      Make sure you google Santorum when investigating that last one. That’ll get you to the bottom of it.

      Thumb up Thumb down +18

  14. Bronc Drywall
    September 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +103

    • Glasgow
      September 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

      Wow dead guy posting!

      Thumb up Thumb down +3

      • Postmenopaws ™
        September 20, 2012 at 10:35 pm

        People on my (very short) FB list post messages to their dead husbands, parents, and pets all the time, so the dead must have accounts. I have to admit, it’s not often the dead post replies.

        Thumb up Thumb down +6

  15. SciFiMagpie
    September 20, 2012 at 7:41 pm

    Oh Helen, this is why you’re my hero.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  16. sarahcircusnachos
    September 21, 2012 at 9:59 am

    How I know Rick Santorum is wrong for America … Newtons in milk? WTF?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  17. aliceblue
    September 21, 2012 at 11:54 am

    The “Cute!” comment following the post is what did it for me. Since no matter how shitty something is, you can count on a cupcake to post “cool” or “rad,” I could SO see this really happening.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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